Chapter Text
“I’m thirsty!” Saki yells.
“I saw some fruit juice in the fridge.” Toya replies. “We can go get some if you want?”
“Yay! Fruit juice! Come on, Onii-chan, Tou-chan! Let’s get some!”
~
Kamui really, really doesn’t know how this happened.
Apparently the kids saw the leftover drinks he had from last night’s party, thought it was fruit juice, and drank it.
And now Kamui has two very drunk eight year olds and a very drunk nine year old on his hands, his brother’s girlfriend trying to kill him, and his brother holding her back.
“You’re dead meat, Kamui! I can’t fucking believe you!”
“Okay, I swear it was an accident!”
“Accident?! Why did you have alcohol in the fridge in the first plac—!”
The door unlocks, and Kamui’s parents plus Tsukasa and Saki’s parents walk into the scene.
“…Do we even want to know?” Auntie says.
“I do.” Mother replies. “Kamui, what did you do this time?”
“I didn’t do any—!” He tries, but Hikari cuts him off.
“He gave the kids alcohol!”
“I didn’t! I just… may or may not have thrown a party last night and had some leftover drinks. And it had a lot of fruit juice.”
Mother and Father share a look. Oh, Kamui’s so dead.
“Okay, let me get this straight.” His mother starts. “You threw a massive party in our house last night.”
“…Yes.”
“And you had alcohol there?” His father adds.
“Yeah…”
“And you left it in the fridge and the kids got into it thinking it was fruit juice?” His mother finishes.
“Yep…”
His mother and father share another look.
“I’m half tempted to let Hikari kill you.” His mother finally says.
“Before we do that, where are the kids?” Uncle asks.
“I’ll go get them.” Hikari says, pulling herself free from Onii-chan’s grip and walking upstairs.
She walks down a few minutes later with Saki on her back and Toya and Tsukasa each under one arm, before putting them down on the floor one by one.
“Mom! Dad!” Tsukasa says, trying to run over and tripping over himself.
“Everything’s spinnin…” Saki giggles, while Toya stumbles over to the piano and collapses face down on the bench.
“…Should we take them to the hospital?” Uncle asks, and Auntie walks over to the kitchen, grabs a glass, and takes some of the leftover punch.
She takes one sip and immediately starts shaking her head.
“Okay, first, I think I just saw the future. I saw an older Toya with some ginger boy. Second, we definitely need to take the kids to the hospital. Third, I can’t drive.”
“It’s not that bad!” Kamui says.
“Kamui, what the hell do you normally drink if this isn’t that bad to you? How did you even get this stuff?!”
“I have my sources.” Kamui says, and Hikari glares at him.
“Just let me kill him. It would be so easy. Seriously, just think about it. No more Kamui. Life would be so much easier that way.”
“You can kill him after we get the kids to the hospital.” Mother says, picking Toya up off the piano bench.
“You promise?” Hikari replies.
“Why are you guys agreeing with her?!” Kamui asks.
“Kamui, you just sent the kids to the hospital.” Auntie says, swaying.
“…Honey, are you alright?” Uncle says.
“I think I need to go to the hospital.”
~
When everyone’s at the hospital, Kamui’s still getting glared at by the entire family.
“…How did the kids get this drunk?” The nurse asks, and everyone turns to Kamui.
Kamui doesn’t respond, so Hikari holds up a fist.
“Start talking or I’m killing you right now.”
“Okay, so, uh… I may have thrown a huge party last night and had some leftover drinks and the kids got into it thinking it was fruit juice?” Kamui says, and Hikari slowly lowers her fist.
“I’m sorry, we know, he’s a screwup.” Onii-chan says, and Kamui gasps.
“Onii-chan! Come on!”
“You gave alcohol to a bunch of kids, Kamui. You deserve this.” His mother adds. “And hand over that fake ID.”
“I don’t have a fake ID!”
“Whas a fake ID?” Toya asks.
“It’s an ID that says you’re older than you are.” Hikari chimes in.
“Ohh… Yeah, Onii-chan has one of those!”
Everyone turns to Kamui again.
“…Okay, the little maestro’s drunk, you can’t trust anything he says.”
“Y-You don’t trust me, Nii-chan?” Toya says, and then he starts crying, and suddenly there’s a hard impact on his face and he barely registers that Hikari just fucking backhanded him.
“Don’t cry, Tou-chan!” She says, scooping him up. “Kamui’s just a prick!”
“Stop poisoning my little brother against me!” Kamui says.
“Stop being a fucking prick then.” Hikari replies. “And hand over the fake ID, or I’m telling them about that time you slept with th—”
“Okay, okay! Fine!” Kamui says, taking the fake ID out of his wallet and handing it over to his father.
“Good thing he did that, otherwise I was going to tell you guys about the time he slept with the Beast halfway through our Beauty and the Beast show.”
“Hikari!”
“Oops.” She says, glaring at him.
“Kamui…” His father says, and Kamui just knows he’s dead.
“At this rate you’re going to lose violin privileges.” Onii-chan says.
“Please don’t give them ideas, Onii-chan.” Kamui groans.
~
When they all get home, Kamui’s surprised when they actually take away his violin privileges.
“What the hell?! Seriously?! I’m gonna be so out of practice!”
“You gave the kids alcohol!” Hikari yells.
“Okay, you don’t even live here, stay out of this!”
Toya stumbles downstairs, dragging his little violinist teddy bear and clinging onto their mother’s leg.
“Everything hurts…” He groans.
“I know, sweetie.” His mother says, and their father leans down to scoop him up.
“Come on, let me take you upstairs. I’ll play something for you.”
Toya just shuts his eyes and mumbles “I love you.” into their father’s shoulder
“I know, I love you too.” Father replies simply, and the moment they disappear upstairs Hikari chucks a pillow at Kamui.
“Can I kill him now? He almost killed the kids.”
“We’re taking away his violin. That’s a fate worse than death.” His mother replies.
“At least I’ve still got the piano…” Kamui mutters to himself, but his mother looks back at him.
“I knew we were forgetting something. No more piano for you either.”
“This is cruel and unusual punishment!” Kamui tries, but his mother just shrugs.
“You poisoned the kids. I think this is fair.”
~
“…And that’s the story of how we learned to never trust fruit juice in the fridge of the Aoyagis and how Kamui-nii lost classical music privileges for three months.” Saki finishes.
“Wait, if your family takes away classical music for—” An starts, but Toya cuts her off.
“Tried that years ago.”