Chapter Text
Eiji woke with a start. His shirt was drenched in sweat, and he was gasping for breath. His vision was blurry, and his hands were trembling - he could barely even hold onto the bedsheets. He could feel the wind creep in from the sliding window that was left slightly ajar, and the iciness of the midnight air stood his hair on end. He was shaking.
He could still feel it. The warmth of Shorter's body on top of his, that was quickly turning cold - a body that grew limp, the weight collapsing onto him. The breathing that stopped. Sweat dripped down his neck, as he balled his fists until his knuckles became white. He could almost hear the gunshot. The hot blood that was seeping through his clothes - the blood that never seemed to stop, and Shorter's eyes wide open, his face to the side, tear-stained. His screams of his name never reaching him.
Eiji felt warm drops trickle down his cheeks, onto his hands.
Gingerly, he pushed the thick blanket aside - and noticed an extra ivory, red-tasseled blanket on top - the one Ash liked to use - did he leave it here?
Eiji froze. His strained his ears to listen through the silence of the dark hallway, in the safe-apartment they shared with Alex, Kong, and Bones, on a night where he could only make out their soft snores. There was a tinge of relief in that - there were no clicks, no footsteps, no glints from the barrel of a gun. And yet, Eiji felt cloaked in a sheet of tension that pressed down on his chest, so heavy he couldn't breathe. His head was throbbing.
Ash.
Eiji knew Ash must have come into his room - at some point that night - maybe before he left for his walk, which he did often, a habit he had - one of few moments he had all to himself. But the bed next to his was empty. Where had he gone?
Eiji willed himself to climb off the bed, bare feet flinching at the touch of the hardly-insulated wooden floorboards.
He tried to wipe away the dampness of his eyes with the back of his hand, only to find that it wouldn't stop. It was all he could do to hold himself back from crying Shorter's name out in the dark, sleeping household; wishing it was all just a bad dream. Eiji replayed his memories, searching through them with all the hope in the world that he hadn't imagined that Yut-Lung had actually messed with the drug dosage before they injected him with it. That he had countered Shorter's frenzy with his own muscle relaxants. That he had dosed him on benzodiazepines before he saw him.
Please, please let him be alive.
Eiji's thoughts echoed through his skull, and the pain of his headache was beginning to make him nauseous. He stumbled into Shorter's room next door, barely registering how roughly he had turned the doorknob and almost slammed the door wide open.
Then, he caught a glimpse of that all-too-familiar purple hair, and the same strong arms holding Ash tightly, their legs intertwined, blonde threads of hair peeking out from beneath his chin. Eiji felt the tension in his body dissipate.
In a daze, he walked over to them both, his hand grabbing onto Shorter's shoulder, shaking him.
The Chinese boy jolted awake, as he opened his eyes, wearily - he'd just managed to doze off. On feeling another's hand on his arm, he almost reflexively reached for the gun below the pillow - only to realise he was looking right at his flustered, crying, shivering housemate.
"E-Eiji..?" Shorter asked, nervously. "What's wrong?"
All he could hear were loud sobs, choked through what sounded like his name.
"Hey, Eiji, what's wrong?" He tried again, this time getting up, reaching his free hand out to his face.
"Shorter..." Eiji barely managed out.
"Come here, it's okay," Shorter offered, opening his arms to a hug.
Without replying, Eiji lunged at him, and Shorter could feel the wetness of his face on his skin. His heart sank. What made him feel this way? Shorter rubbed his palm up and down Eiji's back, hoping to ease him, leaning forward into his soft black hair.
"What happened, love?" he asked, as gently as he could.
"Nightmare," replied Eiji, in between small sobs. He let his hands wander onto Shorter's chest, as if to search for something - and he did, he searched long and hard for a scar right at his left sternal edge - only that there was none. He had remembered right - Ash had shot Shorter's calf that day. A deliberate aim to miss the path of the vital arteries. To immobilise him, to buy enough time - enough time for Shorter to come to his senses.
He couldn't control himself. Hushed sobs turned to cries, and then became something like a wail. Eiji was embarrassed at how silly he was being, and yet it was all he could do to clutch at Shorter's tank and muffle his voice against his chest, just so he wouldn't wake Ash up. He wanted so badly to wrap himself around Shorter's body, to feel his warmth - for certain this time - to hear his heartbeat, to be sure he was alive.
As if he read his mind, Shorter pulled him close, their bodies pressed against each other.
"It's okay, Eiji," Shorter whispered. "It's okay. It's just a dream."
But it's not okay, Eiji thought. How could he be? Shorter was almost taken from him, from them both - in the most cruel, sadistic way possible.
Shorter wrapped both his arms around the Japanese boy, as tight as he could. He kept running his hand along Eiji's back, and was relieved when he noticed Eiji's trembling seemed to cease.
"I dreamt you died," Eiji finally got out. Even in the dark, Shorter noticed his eyes were swollen. The poor baby boy - how long had he been crying for?
"I'm not dead, love," Shorter said, trying his best to smile, smoothing his thumb over the corner of Eiji's eyes, wiping away his tears.
Eiji simply nodded, and rested his cheek against Shorter's shoulder, closing his eyes, letting his body relax as Shorter weaved his hand into his hair, softly caressing his scalp.
"I was so scared," Eiji began again, willing himself to stop the tears from falling. "You were lying on top of me, and you were so cold, and no matter how many times I called you you just --" he broke his own words with a sob.
Shorter looked at him. He felt his heart breaking.
"I'm here," he finally said, pulling him closer. "I'm here."
They sat in silence for a while, peppered with Eiji's hitched breathing as he tried to control his tears.
"Please don't go." Eiji's voice was so soft that Shorter wasn't even sure he heard it.
"I'm not going anywhere, love," he replied.
"You and Ash," Eiji added. "Please don't leave me behind." Shorter felt warm, wet tears on his shoulder again.
Gently, carefully, he lay down, holding Eiji against him, letting him lie on their pillow, in between Ash and him.
"I'll be right here," he said. "Ash'll be, too, when he wakes up at noon again," he smiled.
Finally, Eiji looked up at him, meeting his eyes.
"Shorter..?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I make sure you're really here..?"
Shorter looked at him, somewhat puzzled, but he figured Eiji was still shaken up by what he saw in the dream. "Of course," he replied.
Then, Eiji shifted his hands to hold Shorter's face on both sides, his fingers tracing his jawline, then his neck, then up again to his cheeks.
Oh, he wants to feel that I'm really here, thought Shorter. He tried not to dwell too long on how his fingers felt against his skin, or that he thought a crying Eiji was adorable.
His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden softness on his lips. It lasted but a moment - barely even a second - before Eiji pulled away, eyes averted.
Shorter blinked. He wasn't processing what was happening - no, not after Ash had kissed him back, and definitely not while he was still struggling to put words to his attraction to both of his friends.
"I love you, Shorter," Eiji whispered, after a pause. "I didn't want to regret never telling you, if you were to suddenly --" His eyes were glassy again.
"Eiji," Shorter began, but he was at a loss for words, too.
Instead, he pulled Eiji into a tight hug. He glanced over behind the Japanese boy, and saw Ash was still sound asleep - as he usually was, when he knocked out. He kissed Eiji's temple, softly, before pulling back and looking at him, searching for a trace of resistance, reluctance - even disgust - in his eyes, but finding none.
"Do you -- do you hate this..?" Eiji forced himself to ask.
"No, of course not," Shorter replied, almost too quickly. But what was there to hide, now? The last thing he ever wanted was to make Eiji second-guess himself the way he did, or worse, feel rejected by the people that meant the world to him.
"Eiji, I love you."
Eiji's face seemed to brighten, slightly, and he'd stopped crying - Shorter felt relieved.
"And - and I know you love Ash. I don't ever want to fight with you on that, and I love you both, I love you both so much -" he continued, wondering where his words would go, or if Ash could actually hear them both.
"I love you both," Eiji replied. His breathing was more regular now, Shorter thought. He hoped that maybe he'd calmed him down, if only a little. Even if what he was saying now was the last thing he'd ever wanted to tell either of them.
Suddenly, they both heard a mumbling noise, and they turned over to find Ash rubbing his eyes. Shorter cursed himself internally for waking him yet again.
"Eiji? What're you doing here..?" Ash slurred.
"N-nothing, sorry to wake you," Eiji answered, quickly, trying to wrangle himself out of Shorter's arms, fighting the urge of every ounce of his body to stay right where he felt safest.
But Shorter was not having it, it seemed - he held him tightly, as if oblivious to the almost clear implications of having a boy, who had just said he loved him, lie in bed next to him. Next to his best friend of years before he ever met them, whom he probably could never compete against - and frankly, didn't want to. He just wanted to love them both.
"-s okay," Ash replied, sleepily. He wondered why he kept getting woken up today, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry at either Shorter or Eiji. "Sleep here," he continued, bringing his arm to rest around Eiji's stomach.
Eiji felt his temperature rising.
Now it was Shorter's turn to trace his fingers over Eiji's face.
"You heard him," Shorter smiled. "Stay here tonight."
Shorter tilted the Japanese boy's chin upwards ever so slightly, and let his thumb brush lightly against his bottom lip, before bringing him into a kiss - a chaste one, a simple one, and yet one that put all his nerve endings on fire.
"Love you both," Shorter said, at last. "I'm not going anywhere, Eiji."
Despite himself, Eiji let out a soft chuckle - he felt a wave of relief wash over him. The fears he had that Shorter would wince at his confession, that Ash would have been disgusted at how physically close he was - unfounded, completely. He let his left hand rest on Ash's arm, which was still tightly wrapped against his stomach, feeling the rhythm of Ash's breaths on the back of his neck, his chest against his back. He looked at Shorter, who seemed so full of contentment.
He returned the kiss with another, and let his right arm slip under Shorter, to press him against his chest.
"Goodnight, Shorter," Eiji smiled.
He drifted slowly off to sleep - he figured he'd probably have to tell Ash tomorrow, how he felt - if Ash would be okay with him bringing something like that up - but something told him that he would, because the arm against his stomach was so full of love, and the tenderness of his drowsy offers for him to stay in bed together left him to wonder if he might just feel the same.
"Goodnight, Eiji," Shorter replied, kissing him on his forehead. "Sweet dreams."
And Eiji felt certain he would.