Chapter Text
Malak had just finished his morning tea, when he was alerted to yet ANOTHER mortal breaking into his domain. "...this is why I don't have nice things."
He sighs, before growling. "Who dares?!"
Before he can get up to deal with the problem, thankfully his murder monkeys make quick work of the problem.
Malak is pleasantly surprised, usually the mortals make it further than just past the alter. Sometimes even getting as far as Mama Bear's territory, which frankly makes him fell inferior. It's always satisfying when he gets a soul this quickly though.
The demon lord of infinite cruelty walks over to the door of bierce's ballroom, and before he can say anything-
"Not. A. Word."
Malak smirks. "Good morning, Bierce. Proving yet again that the early bird doesn't get the worm?"
Bierce rolls her eyes. "Shut up."
Malak chuckles. "So. How did this meat sack die this time?"
Bierce goes completely silent. Piquing Malak's interest. "...oh, something tells me this will be amusing."
Bierce finally caves after an awkward silence. "...he got spooked by a Monkey closing a door, tripped, then snapped his own neck by falling awkwardly-"
At that, Malak let's out a gut-splitting laughter. The fact the mortal died so pathetically has just made his week. First his most loyal minion took down an almost impossible threat, now Bierce's pawn died so pathetically? 'With the newfound luck I have now, I might as well try to take over heaven next!' He jokes to himself, in his head.
"My, my Bierce. Are you getting desperate with these pathetic mortals, or am I getting lucky and you've become unable to pull useful souls?"
She glares at the eye in the door. "You're lucky, you bargain-bin lucifer..."
She starts to stomp off, before Malak starts using his businessman voice. "You know, if you just peacefully give me back my ring piece, I'm sure I can find a way to forget all your... Transgressions Against me~"
Bierce looks at him, with daggers for eyes. "You and I both know that you'll betray me. If you don't, I'll betray you. Don't push your luck, demon. You can't tempt me with power, I can just take for myself."
The demon shrugs. "Well, it was worth a shot."
Bierce groans. "I hate how you seem to be in such a cheerful mood. What bag of kittens drowned this time?"
Malak hums. "I'm just in a chipper mood! Things have been going well, better than expected, and I'm taking it as a good sign for my business endeavors."
Bierce rolls her eyes again. "Well stop it. It's creepy. Start threatening me, like you do each morning."
Malak groans slightly, in annoyance. "What? Do you want me to say that I'm going to rip out your entrails to use as a makeshift noose for your neck, break your leg, and let Agatha use your leg to whack you like a piñata at her next After-death Day, when I get my hands on you?"
Bierce fakes a sigh of relief. "Ah. Thank goodness, the balance has been restored."
Malak shakes his head, and walks off. "Bitch."
He sits down at his desk, looking over contracts, statistics, and lists of needed maintenance for his realms. He notices that he still needs to fix up Joy Joy Land. "...procrastination is technically a sin."
He then hides the paper, and gets back to looking at his beloved contracts.
Hours later he gets a call from the Reaper Nurses. "Hello, what do you want?"
The nurse takes several deep breaths, failing to put things into the right words. "...Dramontox surrendered."
Malak starts choking on his tea. "WHAT-"
The Reaper Nurse giggles uncomfortably. "Yeah... Yeah- Dramontox just surrendered to us... One of Mama Bear's teddies snuck out into his territory, and got into one of his main power supplies. When his monsters tried to get the little fella, it blew up, and destroyed almost all his territory from the chain reaction. All his generators are destroyed, majority of his men are dead, and he has no way to recover or counter us. This was a real stroke of luck! Huh, boss?"
Malak is so stunned by the fact that one of his rivals, Dramontox, who has been breathing down his neck since Bierce first stole the ring, just surrendered because of an attack Malak didn't plan. "...boss?"
He snaps out of it, and an evil grin spreads from ear to ear. "...yes. This is quite the stroke of luck. Take him and his remaining men prisoner. I'll be preparing a spell to keep him as a pawn. He will be quite useful, as a pet."
The Reaper Nurse giggles a tad bit. "Yes M'lord. We'll get right to it, leave it to us! Buh-bye now! Buh-bye."
The nurse hangs up, and Malak continues to grin, as though he just got the greatest gift for Christmas. "...Maybe I am getting pretty lucky..."
But he would have yet to know why...