Chapter Text
"I don't believe this is a wise course of action," Capitano muttered under his breath as he trailed behind his comrades, his imposing stature making it challenging for him to maintain a silent approach.
He observed Scaramouche and Sandrone walking ahead of him, their mischievous intentions apparent. Capitano was aware of Scaramouche's resentment towards the doctor, stemming from their monthly Fatui chess competitions where he had suffered defeat. While Capitano had a rough idea of Sandrone's motives for disturbing Dottore this time, he couldn't shake the feeling that it could lead to unfavorable consequences.
"I just hope none of you provoke his anger," Capitano softly cautioned, his voice tinged with concern. "Remember when both of you hid his experimental mini ruin guard?"
All three of them knew all too well about 'that' day when Dottore had nearly reduced the Zapolyarny Palace to ruins in his fervent search for the hidden mini ruin guard. It had been a prank gone horribly wrong, orchestrated by someone within their ranks who had intended to surprise Pantalone with the doctor's creation.
The magnificent palace had teetered on the edge of collapse, akin to a crumbling ruin in Sumeru. In the aftermath, the doctor had received a stern reprimand from Her Majesty Tsaritsa, but some believed he deserved even harsher consequences.
"He's quite childish," Sandrone and Scaramouche spoke in unison, their faces brimming with seriousness as they can't wait to make fun of the second Harbinger.
The three of them veered left, venturing deeper into a quieter and darker hallway. Unbeknownst to them, Il Dottore's lab lay further down the corridor. Situated in the left wing of the palace, away from the bustling administrative offices that housed figures like Arlecchino and Pantalone in the right wing, the left wing was notorious for its eerie stillness. None of lower-ranked Fatui members dared to venture into this realm, for it was here that the Harbingers of creation, science, and whatever mysterious endeavors they pursued, toiled in their gloomy and potentially hazardous laboratories.
Sandrone and Scaramouche, being exceptions, had their private offices located in the left wing alongside Il Dottore's lab. Capitano, on the other hand, rarely set foot in this part of the Zapolyarny Palace, as his responsibilities often took him on recruiting missions across the world.
"We've been walking for a good fifteen minutes straight. Where in Teyvat is his lab?" Capitano voiced his growing frustration, surveying the surroundings. All he could see was a tightly locked metal door, devoid of any signs of human presence, not even the faintest hint of a lurking monster. The silence and emptiness of the corridor only heightened the intrigue and mystery that shrouded Dottore's laboratory.
"I've been telling you, he's Pantalone's favorite," Sandrone snorted, a mix of annoyance and amusement evident in his voice as he reminisced about the doctor's antics. "He even managed to convince Pantalone to expand his laboratory. Not just once, but twice. That how banker's favorite comrade gets his way. It's no wonder he moved his office to the farthest corner, away from everyone. That introverted fool."
"... It's quite obvious they have a fondness for each other."
"We're well aware."
Scaramouche came to a halt in front of a seemingly ordinary wooden door, crafted from sturdy Cuihua Wood, with the doctor's nameplate affixed to it.
"So, this is the doctor's 'normal' office," Scaramouche commented, gesturing towards the wooden door. He then turned his attention to another door adjacent to it, made of metal and painted in a pristine white color. "And this door leads to his lab."
"...And?" Capitano raised an eyebrow, waiting for Scaramouche to reveal the significance.
The Balladeer let out a frustrated sigh, covering his face with his hand to hide his exasperation. "We don't even know if he's in Snezhnaya. He's wandering all over Teyvat, just like you, Capitano. Ugh, why did I agree to this in the first place?"
"Because if you do this, Signora promised to give you that limited edition Inazuma magazine, 'Raiden Shogun Daily Life'," Sandrone chimed in, unable to contain his amusement.
"Shut up, Sandrone," Scaramouche snapped, his annoyance seeping through his words.
"Then shall I knock?"
"W-wait--"
"What are you guys doing here?" Dottore emerged from his laboratory, yawning and rubbing his neck as he opened the door. He briskly walked to the other side of the room, heading towards his office. "You guys bickering in front of my lab woke me up. Couldn't you go somewhere else?"
"...It's already afternoon," Capitano deadpanned, pointing out the obvious.
The doctor rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed that his precious nap had been disturbed. His face remained hidden behind his beak-like mask, making it difficult to gauge his exact expression. "Whatever. Did you come here for a mission or something?"
Dottore watched with raised eyebrows as Sandrone and Scaramouche barged into his office without waiting for his response. Their actions reminded him of curious children rummaging through a room in search of something valuable. His attention shifted to Capitano, silently urging him to explain the sudden intrusion.
Capitano cleared his throat, stepping forward to address Dottore. "Apologies, Dottore. They seem to have a rather peculiar request and were eager to discuss it with you. I advised against it, but they insisted on involving you."
Dottore settled into his office chair, leaning back and observing Sandrone and Scaramouche with a mix of amusement and mild exasperation. He was well aware of their competitive nature and their incessant desire to outsmart him. In his eyes, they were like mischievous children, always trying to find ways to one-up him.
"What do you want?" Dottore started to ask, but his words were swiftly interrupted by the two lower-ranked Harbingers.
"Tell us about your relationship with Pantalone!" they demanded in unison.
Dottore couldn't help but chuckle mockingly, his grin ever-present on his handsome face. "Is that the best you can do?" he taunted. "It seems you're just whining as usual. Nothing serious for you, Captain, to be concerned about."
'That's not what we discussed in the briefing!'
'I know! I'm starting to panic!'
"As expected of the doctor. You're immune to our psychological tactics," Sandrone remarked, attempting to salvage their pride. "But in reality, we're here for a greater purpose than our usual squabbles, Dottore."
"And what might that be?"
"You're aware that your strength lies in Pantalone's backing, aren't you? Without his funds and support, what are you? Just a destitute mad doctor begging for money." The puppeter attempted to mock the doctor, as was it's nature, though its efforts fell flat from the start.
Capitano, who had been listening to Sandrone's explanation, leaned in closer to Scaramouche and whispered with a concerned tone. "Didn't I specifically warn you not to provoke Dottore?"
"Trust me, Captain. This time is different. If we bring up Pantalone's name to the doctor, he'll-"
"...You can mock me to your heart's content, but it won't affect me in the slightest," Dottore interrupted sharply, his aura shifting to create an oppressive atmosphere that made it hard to breathe in the room. "However, under no circumstances should you dare to involve Pantalone."
With one sentence, Dottore showed why he ranked second among the Harbingers. Sandrone and Scaramouche were thrilled – their plan was working perfectly.
'All according to the plan!'
The plan was straightforward; make Dottore realize his feelings for Pantalone. They knew Dottore was often oblivious to matters of the heart, so they aimed to subtly guide him towards acknowledging the deepening connection between him and Pantalone.
Although Capitano was against it at first, he also wanted to know what the doctor thought of the banker. Calling it the curiosity of a child, but all the Harbingers thought the same.
"We all know it, Doctor. There's no one in the Fatui who doesn't realize that you're Pantalone's pet."
It was an endearing sight, really. Dottore faithfully trailing behind Pantalone wherever there were 'social' activities within the Fatui. Be it during the grand New Year celebration in Zapolyarny, the annual inspections of various Snezhnayan settlements or even the yearly party hosted by Northland Bank, Dottore would find a way to slip in and observe Pantalone from a distance.
"Hmm, is that how you see it?" Dottore responded, his arms folding tightly across his chest. "Take a good look at yourself. Capitano always brings you an abundance of test subjects from his conquests all over Teyvat. You're his prized favorite, while I'm left with the scraps."
"WHAT?! That's only because I assist him in every way possible! Unlike you, who effortlessly became Pantalone's beloved without even lifting a finger!" Sandrone blurted out.
The atmosphere in the room shifted to an awkward one, as Sandrone immediately realized the weight of her words and hastily covered her mouth with her hand. She anxiously searched for any sign of reaction from Dottore, while Capitano and Scaramouche stood on edge, well aware of the potential consequences of provoking the doctor.
However, to their surprise, Dottore remained surprisingly calm in this moment. His blue hair tousled slightly as he hummed with an ambiguous tone, suggesting he was lost in deep contemplation, as if considering something unexpected. The tension in the air lingered as they waited for Dottore's response.
"He loves me?" Dottore repeated, a glimmer of realization dawning in his voice.
"Wait, hold on! You're missing the point entirely. What we meant was that Pantalone is investing an excessive amount of money into a mad scientist like you simply because of your business partnership-" Scaramouche tried to explain, but Dottore cut him off with another question.
"So he loves me and is showering me with extravagant funds?" Dottore asked once more, a self-satisfied grin spreading across his face.
Sandrone motioned for her comrades to lean in closer, lowering her voice as she spoke. "I think his head might have taken quite a hit and he's gone completely mad after hearing that."
Scaramouche shook his head, a wry smile on his face. "No, no. He's always been crazy, as long as I've known him. But looking at him now, I'd say our mission was a success."
"I believe so too," Sandrone agreed. "Let's just leave him in his delusional world."
"Poor Pantalone, I hope he doesn't become too affected by Dottore's eccentricities," Capitano added with a touch of concern.
The three Harbingers exchanged knowing glances before quietly closing Dottore's office door. As they made their way down the hallway, the sound of Dottore's joyful laughter echoed in their ears, a testament to the satisfaction he found in his newfound delusions.