Chapter Text
Dinner was a complete disaster, yet it still managed to look as if god himself set the table.
Jimbo spent all day preparing, yet it became obvious Ned was the chef in the Kern household. Anything from stir fry to simple bacon and eggs, Ned was the master of the kitchen. So it quickly became apparent that the kitchen was a minefield, the large man felt out of his element fixing fancy spices and things he never even heard of into a boiling pot of water.
He spent what felt like hours in the grocery store. Walking up and down the aisles in hope of finding something simple, and easy to make that wasn’t mac and cheese or a frozen dinner. Whether it was luck or misfortune however, a grocery store clerk found him staring blankly at cans of soup and asked if he needed assistance. Awkward small talk was not the the overweight man’s forte. In fact, just to end it he walked out with more ingredients than he would ever hope to use. The young man suggested an easy to make spaghetti recipe and pursued to help him track down the ingredients, the boy had no idea Jimbo could hardly prepare a grilled cheese without the charing the bread, how was he supposed to make spaghetti?
The clerk had been helpful despite all the weird questions, after nearly interrogating Jimbo, making the hunter more awkward than he already was asking for help for a fancy dinner. He walked out with everything he needed to start his special dinner. Luckily the boy didn't ask who it was for, all he knew was it was a special occasion and it needed to be enough for two.
He planned to finally ask Ned to marry him. But he had to get to that moment first, no doubt he would manage to chicken out after going through all this trouble.
The thought of marriage was almost unsettling, they were happy now without rings or vows to prove they were committed to one another. Let alone they would never go public with their relationship. In all honesty he was still scared shitless for the outcome if Ned did say yes, but he would figure out all the details later. Jimbo would be fine going to the grave without some stupid vow, but if it was something that would make his partner happy, then by god he would do it.
The table was stripped of its usual centerpiece. Nothing more than their salt and pepper shakers and in its place, a soft tablecloth draped neatly over the smooth wooden surface. Jimbo couldn't find a vase for the pathetic wild flowers he picked just outside their cabin and several times he tossed them in the trash, only moments later to dig them out and try to straighten their ruffled petals. It was too much, it had to be. They had a damn bear skin rug in front of their fireplace, flowers were a bit of an overkill. Ned would surely suspect something was up seeing ruffled tulips between two mounds of spaghetti. Let alone it was a little out of character for either of them to give a crap about flowers.
The smaller man was out with Sharon and the kids. It was some kind of miracle Jimbo convinced him to spend time with the family without Jimbo by his side as the buffer. Let alone how hard it was to convince Sharon to take Ned with her. He practically begged Randy’s wife to call their home and convince Ned to go. After promising to babysit Stan and Shelly later that week, his plan was set into motion. Jimbo was there to cast him off, and as soon as the tires kicked up dirt back down the path, the hunter hopped into his truck and down to the grocery store.
It was only reasonable to have him along, not only to spend time with the kids but he was also a fantastic baby sister. He might not be able to talk much or do as many tasks as he used to, but he was great at watching over the kids. He was quick and always managed to have an eye on them even if he wasn't looking in their direction. Sharon was going to thank him for the help later on, no doubt about it.
Nearly burning down the cabin, dropping several eggs and managing to ruin one of their good pans, Jimbo finally had his dinner prepared. The table was set with their best plates (South Park Cows Memorabilia) while candles littered around to give a romantic atmosphere. Though he found himself chewing on his lower lip nervously. It just looked too nice, too girly in fact. Regrettably he tossed the flowers out once more, and started to put the candles back into the junk drawer just as he heard a car horn blare in their driveway and his heart jumped. It was eight already? SHIT.
Jimbo was greeted at the door by Ned himself, waving at the small family piled the old sedan. Even from the distance he could see little Stan sleeping in his car seat and Shelly’s face illuminated by a tablet.
No time was wasted, as soon as the door swung closed Jimbo lathered the other man with affection. His grocery bag full of goodies forgotten in a chaste kiss.
“How’s the trip? Bring me anythin’ good? I sure am hurtin’ for some new socks.” Jimbo teased, thumbing at the edges of Ned’s worn jeans.
“Mn- lots of shopping.” he took a breath from the array of uncharacteristic affection, exhausted from a day full of clothing stores. He pressed the voice box to his throat again. “Mng- nope, it's all for me.”
Jimbo grinned, herding the other into the living room, but Ned’s focus wasn't on the freshly cleaned quilt or the roaring fireplace, it was just over Jimbo's shoulder. Instant regret washed over the hunter, forgetting to turn the lights off and let it be a complete surprise when they went to ‘start’ dinner. Ned gave a lazy, suspicious look. Jimbo was notoriously lazy when it came to setting the table, half the time they moved to the couch and watched TV while they ate. Which in all honestly was nice, they didn't have to wipe down the table afterward.
“What? Can't a guy just make a nice dinner without bein’ interrogated?”
Jimbo urged Ned to share in his purchases to bide his time for tonight. With the man now in his sights it was like his brain was in a frenzy, the longer it took for him to pop the question the more flustered he became. He ran the scenario through his mind time and time again, and each time he managed to find himself droning on about nothing and skipping the important parts of his speech. He even went as far as to think of Ned’s reaction, or what happens if he says no.
It quickly became apparent it was impossible to keep Ned out of the kitchen, hearing his belly growl. Expertly maneuvering around the overweight man to inspect the meal. The noodles were a bit overcooked and there was way too much garlic for his liking, but it didn't stop Ned from twirling it on his fork and enjoying a meal he didn't have to prepare. Both men were seated at the table, Jimbo didn't bother to light the candles with the shakiness of his fingers. Words were caught in his throat, creating a hot knot that refused to be swallowed. Sweat began to wet his brow, trailing down the length of his neck. Without his hat, it was impossible to hide the nervous expression straining his face.
The large man’s face was flushed a dark red that spread all the way from the tips of his ears to the nape of his neck. Jimbo gaped like a fish several times, forcing another fork full of spaghetti past his lips to pretend he wasn't struggling to speak his mind, instead, he struggled with his food.
Ned found an unnoticeable smile curling at his lips watching the blundering man before him turn redder than a tomato, hands sweaty and struggling to act cool as his grip on his fork slipped. The forced small talk about the weather had him silently chuckling.
After another nonsensical question about the daily news, Ned reached over to grab his voice box, pressing it to his throat once more. “Mngg- Will you marry me, Jimbo?”
The larger man choked, luckily on his own breath and not a stray noodle. Stunned, he watched the short man across from him smile, glasses catching the light mischievously.
“Will you marry me?”
“Mn- I asked you first.”
He choked again, embarrassed he even thought about it in the first place, pointing his fork in the man's direction. “Aw hell no, I set all this crap up just to ask you that question. Now are you gonna marry my dumb ass ‘er not?”
The grin spreading across Ned’s face was almost scary, he didn't show much emotion nowadays so seeing him all giddy was almost unnerving, “Mn- where's my ring?” toying with his voice box absentmindedly, while giving Jimbo an expectant look.
For a moment Jimbo was quiet, like he forgot he was upset moments ago. His dark brown eyes watching his soon to be fiance as if he grew a second head. His jaw suddenly dropped, and slapped himself in the forehead, voice barely coming out a whisper, “Oh my godi, I forgot the damn ring.”