Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Playing such a huge role in Chom's growth and education, Mew's parents are often gravitating around the duo. Granny babysits the young girl whenever Mew isn't available, picks her up at the daycare and drives her to the park when the weather is good. On some weekends, Chom becomes a guest at the Jongcheveevat mansion a little out of the city, especially when Mew needs to cover an extra shift at work or on those nights when he and Gulf attend children-free events. 

Although he's familiar with Mew's family, it's only the second time Gulf is invited to join them for lunch and the first time he's officially welcomed inside their house since the previous gathering happened at a restaurant. 

It's a Sunday afternoon, one extremely damp and warm, which is good because Gulf needs an excuse for sweating so profusely. The inside of the mansion is widely illuminated, pictures and ornaments are a clear sign of the family's status with their golden profile and details. It's a strong contrast compared to Mew's small but cozy apartment, yet the man fits the environment nonetheless. Gulf has worn his good shirt for the occasion, ignoring Mew's reassurance about the lack of dress code, and he's glad he did or he'd feel even more out of place seeing how everyone is so elegant. 

Everyone but Chom, who insisted on wearing a chicken pajama and threatened her father to leave the house naked if it wasn't in that costume.

Soon they're asked to sit at the wide table in the living room, following the names prepared on the fancy paper signs beside every plate. Gulf is logically sitting next to Mew and his sister, Jom, who has just returned from a trip abroad and is now launched to tell everything about it, giving Gulf the time to adjust to the atmosphere. He's not anxious, but even though Mew's parents already accepted their relationship months ago, he feels like he still hasn't conquered their full trust. It's understandable considering how much their son has suffered because of Chom's mother and that's only an ulterior reason that urges Gulf to impress his in-laws. 

He's been working hard to be a stable presence in Mew and Chom life since the day he learned about the little girl's feelings. Gulf knows he is already part of their family and routine, but somehow it still doesn't feel official and if he has to be greedy, he kinda wants everyone to know. 

"How's work doing, Gulf?"  Mew's mother asks while they wait for the first serving.

It's an innocent question, the woman is probably trying to be polite but it's a bit hard to be confident when your boyfriend's family has different maids for cooking and serving.  Mew is busy talking about business with his father and Chom is running around the table imitating a rooster. He has no backup. 

"It's going as usual." Gulf says rubbing his hands together under the table trying to calm his nerves. "A bit busy for the upcoming sales." 

"Right! Nong Gulf can I use my sister-in-law's benefit to reserve one rose ring? I'm sure it will be sold out within the first minute!"  Jom interrupts batting her eyelashes in an exaggerated way. With the corner of the eye, Gulf notices her mom glaring subtly but he doesn't mind it. He's happy that Jom behaves so freely in his presence.

On the other hand, the mother isn't letting go one bit, she's always so composed and polite with Gulf, but her features are tight and her questions are generic, like she wants to respect her son but at the same time doesn't believe Mew and Gulf's relationship will last.

"I will reserve one for you then." 

Gulf smiles seeing Jom's eyes brighten up then turn pleading. 

"I really like the rose bracelet as well but it won't go on sale and the price is sooo expensive… " 

"You can use my employee discount to buy it." 

Jom does a tiny happy dance and then pretends to wipe her non-existent tears. 

"If my brother wasn't dating you, I would." 

"Jom. Don't be silly." 

Mrs. Jongcheveevat reprimands her daughter with a warm tone. Gulf wants to tell her that he's fine with it, he likes the way Jom is making him feel accepted but it's probably not the best time. 

Lunch is served soon, while Mew is still talking animatedly with his father and Chom is wiggling in her chair asking for her dino-shaped nuggets.

The moment the plate is placed under his nose, Gulf's stomach churns nervously. The smell, the color, the tiny tails popping up among rice grains. He innerly sighs. Mew already told his parents that Gulf is allergic to seafood the day they had lunch together at the restaurant, so staring at the shrimps on the plate feels a little mortifying. It’s not like gulf expected Mew’s parents to remember every detail about him, just enough not to kill him.

He’s conflicted whether he should tell and risk to annoy the Jongcheveevats (even if it’s technically their fault for not remembering) or simply hide the shrimps on a corner and eat the rest, knowing too well he has a high chance to still have an allergic reaction. In the end he opts for the latter because he’s a coward and he really wants to make a good impression on Mew’s parents. To tell the truth, Gulf hopes Mew realizes and raises the matter first but his boyfriend is not even glancing at the food while he discusses something with his father, so the younger boy proceeds to move the first shrimp on the edge of the plate.

“Chom, sit properly while you’re eating.”

Mrs. Jongcheveevat says suddenly, swaying her hand to grab Mew’s attention when the little girl stumbles off the chair and walks up to Gulf. Even Mew calls her but is ignored as his kid struggles to climb on Gulf’s lap with her fist serrated very tightly, then she places one of her nugget inside the plate, leaving the fried T-rex on top of the rice with its tail broken for how strongly she had gripped on it.

“Oh.” Mew’s voice comes soft and guilty, he immediately turns to face Gulf probably feeling like a shitty boyfriend but Gulf doesn’t care, he’s resisting the urge to smile and hug Chom as she picks up the shrimp on his plate, one by one, and runs back to her seat like nothing happened.

Chom, among everyone, remembered.

Gulf is feeling so cared for.

“Don’t eat it. I’ll ask the maid to cook something else for you.” Mew says right after, standing up and taking the plate from under Gulf’s nose.

His parents are staring confused, eyebrows raised in a silent question and Gulf knows he should feel bad to be a burden or at least mad that they still don’t remember about his allergy, but in that moment he’s just very happy about Chom’s consideration.

“P’Gulf can’t eat shimps , he becomes a biiiig red ball.” The little girl explains, then giggles at the thought of big red ball Gulf.

“It’s fine, I can eat the rice.”

“No, you can’t.” Mew’s tone is a bit rough, he calls the maid and asks for a new dish before Gulf can argue, then urges his daughter toward the bathroom to clean her hands.

It’s clear that he is mad at himself for not noticing, but he shouldn’t be that harsh on himself, moreso when Gulf doesn’t also mind.  There’s another reason Mew might be upset, seeing as his parents are not apologizing or showing remorse for the accident, but addressing the problem would mean admitting that Mew's parents are not ready to welcome Gulf as their son-in-law and for now he really wants to believe it's only in his head. 

When Mew goes back to his seat and a new plate of food is placed in front of Gulf, the family resumes chatting and eating. Gulf is questioned about all his allergies once again, Jom teases him about it and Mew makes sure to rest a hand above Gulf's knee for the rest of the lunch.  The atmosphere is lively but there's a thin line of tension between Mew and his mother that Gulf can't quite decipher. It comes off as a cold reply from Mew's side, then an exchange of glares like they were talking without words. It eventually explodes when Chom brings her leftover nuggets to Gulf instead of his dad.  It makes sense, Mew rarely eats veggie nuggets while Gulf isn't a picky eater. Kids learn through experiences and Chom doesn't understand why she shouldn't grab all the nuggets with her bare hands and bring them to P'Gulf when he's the person who usually finishes them at home. She doesn't understand that the moment Gulf accepts her food, he will be showing a connection with the little girl that's beyond being papa's boyfriend of a few months.

And maybe that's exactly what Gulf wants to prove, so he takes a bite out of a nugget and helps Chom wipe her little hands. 

"They seem close. Chom treats him well."

Mrs. Jongcheveevat's words are both flattering and terrifying. She's implying that Chom's affection for him is noticeable and that's surely a win. Tough, at the same time she's purposely referring to Gulf as if he wasn't in the room, not speaking to him directly but like he's Mew's responsibility and not hers. She must be angry because it's the first time she's letting her polite attitude crack, something must be bothering her and Gulf really hopes Mew won't make a scene because he surely has noticed too. 

"Of course they're close. Gulf is my lover . He spends a lot of time with us." The way his boyfriend is putting so much emphasis on the word 'lover' like he's ready to fight his own mother is scary. From under the table Gulf grabs Mew's hand and strokes the back of it trying to reassure him.  Even Jom has started to throw a few glances her mother's way, shaking her head slightly. 

There’s no doubt Gulf is the problem at this point, but he still doesn't understand why. It's like everyone else knows something Gulf is ignoring to connect the dots.  In the end the woman sighs, places the napkin back on the table and shows Gulf a regretful beam as an apology. She doesn't look sorry at all.

Under the table, Mew is still holding hard onto his hand, he hasn't relaxed almost as if he's ready to take the final blow. 

Indeed, the blow comes. 

"You know she's in town, right? She wants to meet Chom but you don't-" 

"I swear mom, if you don't want me to go home at this exact moment, don't even finish the sentence." 

She ? 

Oh, she . 

Mew's ex. Chom's mother. 

"I wouldn't have to deliver the message if you picked up her calls."

"Mom, please." Even Jom tries to butt in between to calm down her brother and mother.

Mew is scoffing and it's so clear he's only restraining himself to not lose his composure in front of Chom. Still, his eyes are cold and his mouth shut close as he glares at his mother in disappointment.

Once again, Gulf strokes his hand from under the table, draws circles with his thumb trying to reassure him that he's okay and that he doesn't mind. He's not sure it's true, but the last thing he wants is to be the cause of a quarrel at the Jongcheveevat's place.

"Maybe I should take Chom outside while you talk." Gulf says softly, making a move to stand up from his seat and being welcomed by Mrs. Jongcheveevat’s grateful smile that, this time, seems genuine.

"Thank you for understanding, Gulf. It won't take long."

"No." Gulf feels his hand being pulled down, forcing him to sit again. Beside him, Mew is still staring at his mother in anger. "Stay, please."

It's another statement, almost a threat. Whatever you say to me, you can tell in front of him too.

No doubt Gulf is grateful for the way Mew is fighting for him, if only he didn't feel like he had taken a step forward and seven behind.

Right then, Jom understands it's her cue to drag the little girl away.

"Let's go play outside Chom Chom, let's go with auntie~" She sings, cleaning her mouth and rushing the kid outside the room, but not before throwing a knowing look towards her brother and winking at Gulf.

Being left with Mew and his parents alone, Gulf can feel his limbs going stiff and his heart beating a little faster than he should.

Suddenly, even Mew’s dad who has been silent the whole time puts on an apologetic look and reaches for his son’s arm.

“What your mother is trying to say is that you can’t forbid her to see her own daughter.”

“So now she’s a mother?” Mew snaps. “She runs away, finds a new partner and now she thinks she can just claim her mother's rights ?”

For a moment, Gulf regrets not having followed Jom, he had no idea Chom’s mother had tried to contact Mew nor that she wanted the little girl back in her life. Mew, on his part, clearly knew and Gulf doesn't understand why he didn’t tell him.

“Mew!” Mrs. Jongcheveevat scolds him. “Nobody is saying you two should get back together, nor that you have to give up on Chom’s custody. Let them meet, not a video-call, an actual meeting.”

By then, Gulf’s hand is almost numb for how tight Mew is holding it. The man needs support and Gulf needs reassurance, so he won’t retreat. He watches Mew’s family exchanging disappointed stares for a few more seconds before Mew himself scoffs and bolts up, dragging Gulf with him.

“Not until she’s under my care. It’s final.”

The man doesn’t spare his parents another look, telling Gulf to pick up his stuff and guiding him towards the garden. When they reach the main entrance, he halts in his steps without turning, clearly weighing if the next words are the right thing to say or not. 

“Next time, you better remember about Gulf’s allergies.”

His tone is firm, his eyes still cold.

Gulf is a bit embarrassed because it’s clear how Mew is trying to remind his family that there will be another time. No matter if they haven’t come to terms with Mew’s new lover, he’s not going to hide his relationship. Somehow, Gulf can see how his real intention is to show his family that he doesn’t want to look back at the past because his present is already all he needs. Still, the younger boy bows at the Joncheveevats politely, showing a timid smile as if he wanted to excuse his and Mew’s behavior. It’s not his place, but if there’s really going to be a next time, he has to save his image. Mew’s parents bow and smile back as if they want to reassure Gulf they know it’s not his fault. It puts the boy at ease.

After collecting Chom from the garden and saying goodbye to Jom, Mew leads them to the parking area right beside the garden. They secure the kid with the seatbelt and before Gulf has the chance to open the passenger door, Mew takes his hand.

“Stay with me today. Please.”

All the anger and disappointment he previously noticed inside Mew’s eyes are now gone, becoming the mirror of all his insecurities.

“Don’t worry. Everything will be okay”.

Sale season always keeps Gulf busy all day, queues are endless and he is often required to stay overtime for closure, which means he comes and goes from his own condo since it’s closer to the workplace. He still gets to spend some time with Mew and Chom on his only day off but he’s so tired that ends up falling asleep more often than he intends to.

That’s why one week after the end of the sales period, Gulf is trying to make up for lost time by volunteering to bring Chom to the annual daycare trip. 

“Are you sure? They’re visiting a local farm. It’s gonna be smelly.”

Gulf yawns and plants a peck on Mew’s bare chest before searching for his boxers in the midst of the duvet.

“I will leave my Cartier at home, then.”

Mew chuckles and retrieves his own pants, rolling them and smacking the boy’s butt.

“I owe you one. I have a meeting on that day, thought I had to ask my mother and, you know, we’re not exactly talking.”

“You go make a lot of money. Chom and boyfie will go have fun with the piglets~”

A smirk takes form on Mew’s face and Gulf is quick to lift his finger as a threat.

“Don’t say a thing if you don’t want me to also stop talking to you.”

The next week Gulf picks up the little girl in the morning and drives her to the meeting point in a mall car park. He’s strangely excited to spend an entire day with Chom, not that he’s a huge fan of farm animals but the thought of strolling hand in hand with the kid under the eyes of all the other parents is… nice. He feels way more confident after his talk with Mew and Chom seems to be opening up day by day.

“Can we see dinosaurs?” Chom asks, looking out the window.

“Sure, just not actual dinosaurs, only their descendants.”

The little girl isn’t convinced but she nods, pursuing her lips like she’s thinking hard about the possibility of seeing a real dinosaur.

Mew has prepared a small backpack with everything they could need for the trip: snacks, wet wipes, plasters and bandages, a cap, even a menthol inhaler and a small note reciting ' love you both so much, have fun' . Chom spends the entire train trip explaining the original personality of every Care Bear drawn on the backpack and gets a little sulky when Gulf doesn’t recognize the different shades of green of two of the bears.

“One has a kite belly, the other has a four-leaf-clover belly!”

“Ah yeah, how could I not see it.”

That’s when Gulf sees the girl sitting next to them beaming their way. She covers her mouth and mimics a ‘good luck’ to him, returning her attention to who Gulf assumes is her little sister. It’s good to know that he’s not the only young caretaker, at least.

Chom holds Gulf’s hand while they step down the train and asks to be carried to see over the fence of the farm once they stop in front of the entrance. Children gather together and squeal in excitement while their parents try to warn them about not running too far.

“You can stay with your friends but tell me every time you’re moving to another fence, okay? And make sure there’s always an adult with you.”

Chom nods and sprints towards another little group of kids who seem to be waiting for her. The weather is hot and damp but children seem to not mind at all while their parents are collectively using the farm map to fan themselves. They visit the horse fence and the piglets area where Chom makes sure to point out how Gulf resembles each one of the animals. There’s also a small lake with ducklings and swans that seems to be the most popular attraction, Gulf takes a picture of Chom pointing at a swan and sends it to Mew. A minute later he hears the pin of a new notification and sees the preview of a Line message full of heart emojis.

Gulf observes the little girl a few feet away, enough to give her the freedom to express herself with her friends but close enough to always know what’s happening and notice any possible danger around. Chom goes back to him a couple of times to ask for water, for a snack, for 10 baht to feed the goats, making the boy smile and giggle because even though they’ve been spending more time together, it’s great seeing their bond become stronger and stronger every day.

It’s not until they reach the hen-house that Gulf starts feeling too hot and in need of some cooling. He makes sure Chom is under her friend’s mother's care and sits a couple of meters from the fence, on a bench under a big tree. He can see the little girl running from side to side to look for the baby chicks, listening to the guide who’s giving lessons about roosters and jumping when she finally gets to feed a blade of grass to a chicken.

“She surely is energetic.”

A voice from behind is catching Gulf’s attention.

The young girl, the one who smiled at him during the train trip, is now sitting next to him on the bench, keeping an eye on the small group of kids by the fence.

“Chompoo? yeah, I feel tired just by looking at her.”

The girl chuckles before tying her hair in a ponytail, then she offers her hand.

“I’m Milk’s sister. She and Chom play together in the afternoon sometimes but I usually talk with the.. uhm.. grandma, I suppose.”

Gulf nods as a confirmation, his eyes still fixed where Chom is trying to feed more chickens.

“Sorry if I came here but it’s not every day that someone my age goes on this sorta trip. I’m pretty tired of mothers complaining about their husbands all the time.”

“Do you personally take care of your sister? I mean, every day?”

The girl wipes her forehead and gives a sheepish smile. “Yes, my parents work all day and I study at an online university so I am the one who’s flexible enough to bring Milk around.”

“That’s nice, you two must be close.”

It’s at that moment that Chom turns towards Gulf, she has a few flowers in her hand that quickly fall on the ground. The smile coloring her face falters and is replaced by a scowl. Gulf raises a brow to ask if everything is okay but Chom is already walking back to him with this weird expression, the same he saw so many times whenever Gulf got too clingy with Mew in front of the kid’s eyes.

“Is everything oka-”

Gulf doesn’t get to finish his question because Chom is running to him and then climbing into his lap like it’s the most natural thing, surrounding his neck with her little arms and pushing her head into Gulf’s neck.

“Come see the chickens with me.”

Her tone is a bit whiny and Gulf knows it’s not her common voice but he can’t help but blush a little at the affection. He’s really grateful for the trust they’re building through the weeks.

“You want me to?”

Gulf feels her nodding against his cheek. She’s unusually shy and touchy but he won’t complain.

“So cute. Chom do you love your brother a lot?”

The girl questions with a soft voice, almost cooing at them.

The whole scenario becomes suspicious as Chom looks into the girl’s eyes and rests her tiny head on Gulf’s shoulder. Is she being needy or is she jealous? Because Gulf is starting to recognize a pattern.

“He’s not my brother, he’s my other dad.”

Gulf’s blood freezes on the spot. It’s like someone just splashed iced water on him but in the best way, leaving him refreshed and ready to sprint a thousand miles. It’s the first time Chom calls him dad and he knows that deep inside she’s only being possessive but maybe that’s the point: Chom is gatekeeping him. Chom doesn’t want other people to enter Gulf’s life because she wants the exclusive. On another day, Gulf would probably teach her that she can’t own people, but today he’s too happy and too relieved of the progress they made to care.

Dad. It's really incredible. 

Gulf has never wanted to be a parent but just hearing the little girl calling him like that, his heart flutters and his lips tremble for how much he wants to give his own answer.

“Dad? Really?”

The girl looks shocked as she widens her eyes and that’s when Gulf decides that he can let his emotions take the best of him. He ducks down to peck Chom’s nape, feeling her arms tighten around his neck.

“She’s my lover’s daughter. But she’s like a daughter to me too.”

If Gulf had to use a word to describe his sensation, it would be ' accomplishment' . He can still recall the journey to conquer Chom's heart but it seems like he finally overcame her barrier and has been placed inside it now. Of course she's only a child and as every child she tends to share her emotions in cryptic and chaotic ways, but even if it's coming out through jealousy, Gulf has become someone she wants to protect and, oh damn, if she only knew how mutual that sentiment is. 

"Chom you go ahead. I will come in a minute, okay?" 

The little girl bites her lips. 

"Does she want to kiss you?" 

She must have developed a trauma related to kisses because she's asking that question more often than needed. 

"Don't worry. She has no intention." 

After that reply Chom seems to be finally satisfied with the outcome of the events and agrees to go back to her friends while Gulf knows he has to give a couple explanations. 

"Sorry." He says turning to the young girl beside him. "She's a little possessive over her dad and, uhm, me." It still feels unbelievable to be pronouncing those words. 

The girl starts waving her hands as if trying to excuse herself. 

"Oh I wasn't trying to-" 

"I know, don't worry. But she was being a bit naughty so I hope you can understand." 

There's a genuine smile on her lips. "Sure. You two look very cute together. She must cherish you very much." 

As Gulf walks closer to the hen-house, he can't stop smiling at the memories of what happened. He picks up Chom, who squeals in surprise, and proceeds to tell her how chickens are descendants of dinosaurs. He makes sure to enjoy every second spent with the kid and to make her enjoy her day as well. 

While they go back to the train stop, Chom falls asleep in his arms and Gulf never stops caressing her small back. 

He can't wait to tell Mew every detail of their day. 

The voices can be heard in the hallway even before Gulf approaches the door. It’s unusual to hear Mew screaming, even more when he sounds so angry and unbothered to be disturbing the neighbors.

Chom halts in her steps the moment she recognizes her father’s voice echoing from inside their apartment, she grabs Gulf’s trousers but stays silent.

“... you had no right to!”

The yell makes both Gulf and the little girl startle. Mew is not alone inside the house, that’s clear enough and Chom seems to know who her father is talking to.

Deep inside, Gulf thinks he knows too.

He touches the magnetic card inside his pocket, deciding if it’s better to bring Chom somewhere else since she looks scared and uneasy, but Gulf isn’t her real dad and he doesn’t have the heart to take a rushed decision without Mew’s consent. He still opts to ring the doorbell instead of using the keycard, hoping the sound would stop the screaming.

The voices quiet down immediately. It takes a few seconds before Mew is opening the door with a livid expression on his face. He doesn’t greet them, making sure to keep the door only half open so that they can’t see who’s inside.

“Can you bring Chom somewhere else? Anywhere but here.”

Gulf reads desperation in Mew's eyes and that’s enough for him to nod and take Chom’s hand, ready to pull her away. The next second the door is slammed open, revealing a young woman with dark hair and a very fair skin. Gulf has seen her in photos but having her standing in the middle of Mew’s apartment almost makes him gasp. She’s beautiful, she’s fiery and confident and she’s not the least intimidated by Mew or anyone else. She’s everything Gulf has always wanted to be and he can see why Mew fell for her, damn, he can see why anyone would fall for her.

“Chom! Chom it’s you, do you recognize me? I’m mom.”

The woman says with a sweet voice, ignoring the death glare Mew is throwing at her.

Chom on her part is unsure on what to do, Gulf can feel her grabbing at his leg tighter while she watches everyone with wide eyes.

“See? She doesn’t even recognize you. How could you think it’s a good idea!”

“Hello Chom, do you recognize mom?” The woman doesn’t spare her ex a glance, kneeling down to Chom’s level and extending an arm towards the child.

Something churns inside Gulf’s stomach, his instinct tells him to hide the little girl behind him and put some distance from the woman but he knows he might complicate things for Mew.

“Hello.” It’s Chom’s timid answer. The kid doesn’t walk closer to the woman nor calls her ‘mom’, making Gulf feel particularly satisfied at how she looks more comfortable wrapped around his leg than with her own mother.

“Now you saw her, you can go. Nobody invited you in the first place.”

The bickering starts again, with Mew throwing bitter comments and the woman spitting venom in defense. 

They're so busy arguing with each other that they don't even realize when Chom tugs at Gulf's t-shirt looking like she's about to cry. That's all Gulf needs to regain his senses and pick up the little kid, patting her head softly and trying to reassure her. 

"If you don't mind, I will bring Chom to her room. You're scaring her." 

He wishes he had sounded more firm but the truth is that he doesn't want to upset Mew, he understands how delicate the situation must be for him but if he's not in the right mind to be considerate of the child, Gulf has to. He has to protect her. 

The argument doesn't die down even after Gulf has closed the door in Chom's room, the voices are faint but can still be heard so he takes a pair of earbuds and a tablet and makes sure the kid focuses on cartoons instead.  When she begins to giggle and claps her tiny hands at the characters in the series, Gulf sighs and finally brings his attention to what is happening outside the room. 

It doesn't take that long to figure out what Mew and his ex are fighting about. She's about to move closer to the city and wants to spend more time with Chom, maybe setting some fixed days every month to bond with the little girl until they can rebuild a mother-daughter relationship. On the other end Mew doesn't trust her, nor does he allow her daughter to be alone with the woman who ran away from them. Apparently, the man is also scared his ex might want to fight over custody if Chom had to get too close to her. 

It's a mess, Gulf can quite understand both parties but staring at the child next to him, seeing how she's pretending that everything is fine, he can't stay still. Mew is too affected by his own feelings to think straight and the woman has no intention to give up on what she calls her mother rights. If they're not in the right state to leave their grudges behind and think about Chom's well-being, then Gulf will.  Even if he's not her real dad, even if he's technically stepping over her parents, he won't let Chom become a prize. 

Mew said he was part of the family, right? Then he should be allowed to take responsibility over the little girl. 

Before the argument gets too intense, Gulf pecks the kid's forehead and whispers that he would be back soon. He walks into the kitchen with not much confidence but makes sure to hide it.  The moment his boyfriend sees him, he waves his arms like a madman pointing at him then at his ex. 

"Can you please tell her that when you run away from your family you lose all your rights as a member of that family?" 

Gulf has never seen Mew so tired, angry and agitated. He wants to hug him and tell him to calm down because they can go through it together but he can read it in his boyfriend's eyes that nothing in the world could stop him, not when Chom is involved. 

"Can you tell your boyfriend that I'm Chompoo's legal mother and I can sue him if he forbids me to see my daughter?" Is the sour reply of the woman. 

Both have a point and both are completely missing the point. 

But Gulf has enough of the yelling so he raises his hands to stop the two adults from spitting the next childish remark and takes a moment to welcome the silence that follows. Maybe it's the fact that a younger boy has just put them in their place but the atmosphere has turned quite awkward even though it's not keeping Mew and his ex from glaring at each other across the room. 

Gulf takes a long breath. 

"Phi I understand your feelings but you two are arguing like Chom has no say in the matter, when the matter actually revolves around her. Have you ever thought about asking her what she wants?" 

The change in Mew’s eyes is immediate but not unexpected. His jaws tighten and he shuts his mouth closed like he’s trying hard to refrain from shooting a sarcastic comment. He's mad. He clearly doesn't want to show it but he's taken it personally. 

"Chom is four, do you think she knows what's better for herself?" 

"She'll be five soon." The woman retorts back but goes ignored once again. 

It's hard to look at Mew's face when he seems so hurt, his features are stiff and rough but from his eyes Gulf can tell that he feels betrayed. He probably thought the younger boy would be on his side but Gulf is on his side, he will always be, so he sighs and tries to convey all the trust and affection through his words. 

"I'm not saying she should make the final decision, but maybe you could ask her and then decide." 

Gulf gives his boyfriend a half smile, hoping Mew understands that he has faith in him choosing the right option but the latter doesn't respond, only looking away and becoming a little gloomier. 

"I will think about it. But it won't be today, so you might as well leave." 

He says eventually, showing the way to the door to his ex. 

The woman releases a deep breath and shakes his head, knowing she wouldn't get anything more for the time being. She exchanges a glance with Gulf and for a moment she almost seems… grateful? 

The door is closed a bit too hard behind her back, Mew surely wasn't trying to be subtle about how annoyed he felt by her presence but if Gulf knows him enough, his ex might not be the only thing who got him annoyed. 

In an attempt to coo him, the boy walks up to Mew and brushes his hip tenderly. 

"You did the right thing. I'm proud of you and I'm sure Chompoo won't agree to meet her."

He reaches for Mew's hand but the man suddenly retreats it.  It's like a slap, Gulf can see on his face that he's not okay but how should he read that gesture? Is he so mad? To the point of refusing Gulf's care? 

It doesn't make sense because Mew has always been extremely calm and mature in any situation. Of course they had a few arguments but nothing they didn't manage to settle with a quick confrontation and a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes Mew pretended to sulk just to see Gulf's cute side for a little longer but he never pushed him back. 

"Are you okay?" 

The younger boy asks, swallowing around the words not to show his nervousness. He always weighs every word and action when it comes to the Jongcheveevats, too scared to cross a line that, technically, Mew allowed him to cross. Yet the man is pissed because Gulf tried to do what's best for his own child? 

Mew bites his lower lip and turns away. 

"I appreciate your help and I know you're trying to be the bigger person and do what you think is best…" 

He's not showing his anger, but Gulf can tell better. Mew doesn't want to fight but at the same time his intentions are pretty clear. 

"But?" Gulf asks. His voice is slightly trembling, he can feel his insecurities coming to the surface and a sense of unfairness at the implications of Mew's words. 

"But there are some things that you can't understand." 

That's it. The words are out. 

And Gulf knows he will either cry or explode so he opts for the second because he feels pathetic enough. 

"And what are these things?" 

"This is between me and her. I truly am grateful to you, but I know what I'm doing." 

The effort Mew puts in every word is almost ridiculous, as to point out how he's staying calm and collected when in fact Gulf can see he's about to explode too. 

"So I'm part of the family as long as I do not meddle in your father-daughter business? I can take care of Chom if you're busy but can't express my worry about the kid who was about to cry because you were yelling?" 

Mew clenches his fists. "I never said this." 

Not with those same words but the meaning was pretty obvious. Gulf is embarrassed for thinking things had changed, a part of him is blaming himself for being so naive. He can taste the acid in his own mouth but he cannot stop the stream of words being thrown into his lover as if it was the only way to shield himself from a truth Gulf's not ready to face. 

"If what you need is a babysitter then I should quit my job, uh? Maybe I should start making you pay for the extra benefits too." 

It's harsh and Mew frowns in disappointment, just that Gulf doesn't care because he should be the one disappointed. 

"I never . Said. This." 

Mew is gripping so hard onto the kitchen counter that his knuckles turn white.

"Then what? You wanted me to stand still while you were being unreasonable?" 

"I wasn't being unreasonable, Chompoo is my daughter I need to protect her!" 

The room is again filled with Mew's yelling. The man is still refraining from completely lashing out at Gulf but the way he's squinting like he cannot bear the view of his lover is hurting the younger boy more than he wants to admit. The ache in his chest will soon turn his anger into tears and the last thing he wants is to cry in front of Mew or worse, Chom, so he raises his voice to stand his ground and clings desperately to that last bit of sanity before crumbling. 

"I also want to protect her!" Gulf hits his chest, emphasizing how much he cares and he knows his voice will crack but it doesn't stop him from spitting word after word. "That's why I'm trying to mediate between you and your ex, knowing that you'll get mad. Because I want to protect her too!" 

"Gulf, please. You can't understand." 

Mew rubs his temples and closes his eyes like having that conversation is giving him a headache. 

"Why?! Why can't I understand?" 

"Because you're not her father!" 

It's the final blow. Mew is left breathless, Gulf is left speechless. 

The younger boy can't even say that he didn't expect it, at some point he might have even led the discussion in that way. He knew it was bound to happen and it was better that it came out as soon as possible so he wouldn't trap himself in a lie for too long. It still doesn't hurt less, in fact, it's the last straw for Gulf's bucket of feelings that begins to overflow. 

He swallows the first hiccup, bites into his lip to suppress any other noise and forbids any tear from falling. 

The five seconds of silence were enough to put a guilty expression on Mew's face, making him sigh deeply. 

"No babe, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant-" 

The man tries to grab Gulf's arm but the latter takes a step back, holding up his hand to stop him from doing anything. He needs a few more seconds of silence to collect his thoughts and push back his emotions. Mew seems to understand his need for space but his face is showing worry and regret. 

Gulf keeps his eyes shut nonetheless, knowing that the moment he stares into Mew's he will start crying. He's not mad, just hurt. 

Even if Mew was genuinely regretting saying those words, it didn't mean that it was a lie. 

"Gulf, trust me, I… You're right I'm being unreasonable. Let me explain." 

Gulf thinks there's no possible explanation that could fill the painful hole that he has inside him. He takes a deep breath and when he's sure he won't make a scene he opens his mouth. 

"I never thought about me as her real father. I only wanted to stop feeling like an outsider whenever we were together, you know?" 

Mew must have taken notice of Gulf's teary eyes because he's slightly shaking his head and raising a hand to touch the younger, but Gulf takes another step back. 

"I thought the biggest obstacle would be convincing Chom to accept me. But all along it has always been you."

"Don't say that, it's not true." 

Again, Mew tries to hug him before Gulf pushes him away softly. 

"I knew I couldn't have all of your heart. Damn, I was okay with just fitting in a small corner. But the truth is that there will never be enough space for someone who isn't Chom."

It's when Mew's eyes turn pleading that Gulf's tears start streaming down his face, followed by sniffling noises and trembling lips. 

"Phi, you're my happiness. I need you to be happy. But you don't need me. You only need your daughter and even if she's ready to let me in, your scars are too deep to trust anyone near Chom. You're not ready to share with me the burden of raising your child and until that day I will never feel part of this family."

There's nothing Gulf wants more than believing in Mew's quivering pleas. He wishes Mew's 'I love you's were enough to fix the emptiness in his chest or at least that his boyfriend would shut him up with a convincing excuse that would bring back things as they were. 

Instead, Mew is nibbling into his lip tired and defeated, wiping the corner of his eyes from dried tears. 

He's also at a loss for words because Gulf is right. 

There's no doubt that Mew wants Gulf beside him, but seeing his ex partner leaving him and Chom has left a trauma that the man has never faced in the previous years, too busy to provide for his daughter to stop and nurture his own relationships. In his head, nobody will ever care about Chom's well-being more than he does, so nobody else is deserving to be included in any decision regarding the little girl. 

Gulf wants to be part of Mew's life and Mew's life revolves around Chompoo. He's ready to take the role, not just for Mew but for the kid herself. But if he has to enter their lives, Gulf doesn't want to be a side character, he needs to be a main. 

As he walks back to the entrance, Mew tries to stop him again, calling his name, pleading him to stay. Gulf feels the impelling breakdown hitting him as soon as the door is shut behind him, Tears are falling with no control blurring his sight and wetting the elevator floor while he runs away from the people he considered home. 

The past six days felt like a whole month for Gulf. He could easily go a week without seeing Mew if life comes in the way, it wouldn't be the first time anyway, but knowing that things aren't okay between them is a whole different story. Every day he wakes up and immediately thinks about the mutual silence he's going to face for another day.

It's not like Mew hasn't texted or tried to call him, but the first couple of days after the quarrel Gulf didn't feel like talking yet and after a while Mew stopped trying, leaving one last message saying 'I'll wait. Tell me when you're ready'. He needs time to figure out where he stands in Mew's life and if he's okay with it. His selfish side wishes Mew would continue to send texts even if he has no intention to reply, just to know that the man still thinks and cares for him. 

It's silly because it's technically Gulf's fault if they're not communicating but at the same time the boy is waiting for some kind of demonstration that proves how he is right for wanting to go back to Mew so quickly. No doubts Mew's words still hurt, though, and Gulf wishes he wasn't so deeply in love with the man to wait for a message all day. In all honesty, all Gulf wants is to be reassured and go back to how things were but he also wants to take care of himself and not make rushed decisions. 

He misses Mew and Chom like crazy, something he can hardly hide seeing how everything in the world reminds him of them. In an attempt to bring Gulf out of his miserable cocoon of despair, Mild even tried to take him out for a drink with his old school mates and it still wasn't enough to distract him. 

"Have you broken up?" 

"No. We need a little time to think things over." 

His friends had eyed him with a worried look for the entire night, until Gulf felt too sad and too sober to stay. There was no amount of beer that could help him fill the emptiness inside his chest anyway. 

That night the pang of a new message resonated in the room. Gulf dived for the phone hoping to read a specific name on the notification but Mild's contact popped up instead.  Without reading the message, Gulf turned his phone off leaving a bitter feeling wash over him at the sight of his lock screen displaying a cute picture of Mew and Chompoo. 

Ten days after the quarrel, Gulf is slouching on his couch with an empty cup of instant noodles sitting in front of him. Days are boring and days off are even more dull, leaving time to sense the distance from his favorite people. Gulf thinks he's doing better, he's not on the verge of tears like the first days but he also can't say to be good. He's numb. 

Or so he thought because when his phone starts ringing and the display reads Mew's name, Gulf's heart does a summersault and remains stuck in his throat. 

Mew is calling him. 

At first he ponders if he should answer or be mad that it took almost a week for Mew to reach out again, but then a sudden urge takes over. Mew said he would wait until Gulf was ready, if he's calling then it must be urgent. 

"Hello?" 

" Gulf- " 

If Gulf is nervous, Mew is in total panic. His voice is cracked and high pitched like he's about to cry, the younger boy can hear his ragged breath on the other line getting increasingly worrying by any second. In that single second after Mew spoke, Gulf had already imagined a hundred different scenarios behind that call and almost all of them involved either Mew or Chom’s health.

“What happens?”

By instinct, Gulf sprints up and rushes to his room to change, he has a bad feeling and the way Mew keeps choking on the line without formulating a proper sentence is only making the boy grow anxious.

“ I’m at the daycare -” Mew’s voice is once again cut. He swallows around a sob like he’s trying to hold back but Gulf can hear from his tone that he’s about to break. “ Chom lied and said Milk’s mom was picking her up.. ”

“What’?”

“ She’s not here Gulf, I can’t find her! ”

For a moment Gulf is frozen in his steps, a new sequence of images playing in his head and he doesn’t like any of them. Chom is barely five, she cannot even distinguish right from left, she definitely isn’t ready to face the world alone.

On any other day Gulf would be already crumbling in fear and worry, but he has never heard Mew so broken and if Chom is out there, she needs her father and him to be reactive and lucid. His heart is hammering like crazy, his hands are slightly trembling and he needs to close his eyes to clear his mind. The quarrel, Mew’s words… everything is forgotten in a second. They need each other and they need to find Chompoo quickly.

“Mew, listen to me. Call your mom and tell her to go to the daycare. She will wait there in case Chom shows up. I’m taking the car now and searching around the neighborhood, once your mother arrives, you can search with me. Got it?”

There’s another choked sob on the line and then Mew’s voice comes softer and wrecked as ever.

“ Gulf- I can’t.. lose her too. ”

Pain is seeping out every word. It’s wrenching, heartbreaking to hear Mew crumbling down over the phone. Every cry or hiccup is like an arrow hitting right through Gulf’s chest, even the choice of wording is leaving the younger breathless because Mew is implying that he already lost someone and it’s obvious who he’s referring to.

“You won’t Phi. We won’t. ”

Gulf grabs the car keys and runs out of his condo in no time, pressing the phone closer to his ear and listening to his boyfriend blaming himself for being the worst dad. Mew is a great dad and he still doesn’t understand how Chom could do something like that.

The adrenaline must have kicked in because Gulf’s moving in automatic, he puts the phone on speaker and speeds up towards the daycare area.

“ What if we can’t find her? What if someone took her already? ”

“Chom is smart, just like you. She’ll be fine and I promise that we will find her.”

Mew hiccups again, he inhales deeply and tries to calm down a bit.

“ Thank you. I couldn’t do it alone. ”

“You’re not alone. You can always count on me.” Gulf knows it’s not the best moment, but suddenly he finds it worthless to address their relationship issues when Chom has disappeared. Suddenly Gulf doesn’t care about anything but showing Mew all the support he needs and if he can ease the burden by letting him know that nothing had changed between them, then be it. “I love you. I’ll call you if I find her.”

Before Gulf cuts the call, he hears his lover sucking on his breath. He’s not sure if it’s good or bad but it doesn’t really matter, they need to focus on finding the little girl.

The daycare is situated in a central area, full of people, cars and stalls that makes it easy for a tiny kid to hide. It’s not like Chom to lie and run away, she knows it’s dangerous and she was never forbidden to spend a little time playing outside under strict control, so it makes even less sense that she planned an escape. Gulf patrols the park and the ice cream parlor, trying to think like a little girl and figuring out every possible place Chom may want to visit. She also can’t be found at the mini market nor in front of the shop that sells those plush bears she likes so much.

In the meantime Mew has joined his research but Chom seems nowhere to be found. The traffic is making it even harder to move by car and Gulf is sweating in worry and anxiety so he decides to proceed by foot. He looks into every alley, asks several people around and even enters all the shops and restaurants but the kid is still missing.

Minute by minute Gulf begins to lose confidence, running until his back is drenched in sweat and his hair is damp. He cannot feel the fatigue, too focused on the loud beating of his heart like a wall clock hitting every second as if it was one second too late to find the kid.

Think. Think!

The boy stops to catch his breath and looks around in search of any hint that could help. On that road there are a lot of hotels but Chom has no reason to be interested, also a lot of malls but why would she visit a mall? What could she be looking for?

A moment of consciousness flashes through Gulf’s mind. It’s quick and it makes him feel stupid and guilty.

“...not what, but who. ” He remembers that time he brought Chom to his workplace. It might be a bit egocentric but when Gulf stopped talking with Mew, he also stopped showing up at the man’s place. “She’s looking for me.”

The realization hits him before he can react. His head whips left and right, the impellent urge to act on this last idea is only controlled by the thought that Chom can't possibly be able to reach Gulf’s workplace with her non-existent knowledge about roads and orientation. Still, even a 5 year old knows what’s the most common transportation to move from place to place, she must have looked for a way to get to the mall.

Gulf nibbles on his lip and starts running towards the first train station he can find. There’s no trace of Chom but that particular station is linked to a walkway that extends above the city center. He passes the food stalls selling sweets and it doesn’t take long before he’s staring at a familiar small figure sitting on the floor.

Instant relief spreads all over Gulf’s body. Chom is there and she’s safe.

The little girl is sitting across from a middle schooler who’s playing a flute to raise some pennies. Gulf can imagine her forgetting about any runaway plan because the flute caught her interest, not to mention how people passing around must have thought she was the little sister of the student.

"Chom!!" 

At the mention of her name, the kid turns and squints to see who's calling her. Gulf sees the moment she recognizes him because Chom's face lights up and she immediately jumps on her feet, smiling like she hasn’t done anything wrong. There must be a painful expression on Gulf's face, though, because the closer he gets, the more conscious she seems to become, her smile dies down and without any hesitation she throws herself in Gulf's arms. 

There's plenty of time to reprimand her, the only important thing is that Chom is safe and Gulf can finally breathe again. He feels his limbs aching for how much he has run around but he cannot help but tighten the grip around the child, hugging and caging her from the outside world. He's so relieved he can almost feel his worry seeping out his skin, leaving him tired and making it hard to stand properly. 

Gulf can only imagine how Mew must feel, the sole idea of the danger Chom could have faced had him broken down in minutes and he's not even her biological father. In that moment, the boy realizes just how strong a father's love can be. 

Chom in the meantime has rested her cheek on the boy's shoulder, blowing warm air on his neck and snickering at something only she can see. 

"Eh eh. I found you." 

As much as Gulf doesn't want to scare the little girl, he was too worried to let it slide and Chom has to learn her lesson too. He loosens the grip a bit and brings a hand up to gently cup Chom's face. 

"Do you know how worried me and your dad were? You can't run away like this! Something bad could happen!" 

Unexpectedly, the child doesn't budge and only stares in silence like she's not completely understanding the situation. 

"Chom what you did is dangerous, we looked for you everywhere! Your dad was really sad, do you understand this?" 

Again, Chom doesn't reply but her lips start to tremble a little and her eyes become watery. Gulf didn't mean to upset her, but it was inevitable if he wanted her to understand her mistake. Actually, he doesn't even care if he's crossing the line. As Mew's boyfriend he should leave the job to the real dad but that's the point, he feels dad enough to take the task upon himself. 

The kid hides her face on Gulf's shoulder and surrounds his neck with her tiny arms, murmuring softly. 

"Dad is sad for a long time. He's sad because P'Gulf don't come to watch movies anymore." 

It obviously hurt. The implications that everything happened because of him. 

Chom wasn't going through a rebel phase, she was looking for him to cheer up her father. He cannot believe how stupid he had been, leaving not only Mew but also Chom behind, claiming that he didn't feel part of the family when he was the one who didn't contact them for a week. Yes, Mew's words were harsh and they definitely needed to talk it out, but was it really worth it? Gulf has blamed the man of always putting his daughter first but wasn't that what Gulf wanted? When he stepped in between Mew and his ex, he did it for Chompoo, he did it even if he knew it would upset his boyfriend but he had to put Chom first because that's what parents do. They help and support each other to provide the best life to their children and that's exactly what Gulf wants to be, what he wants Mew to do. 

"I'm sorry." Gulf pats the little girl's back and hugs her tightly. "I won't ever leave you again. It's a promise. Can you also promise to never run away like this?" 

"If dad is happy, Chom is happy" She says as part of her promise. If you stay with us, I won't have a reason to come find you . 

Gulf smiles and breathes into the kid's scent, to remember that she's present, she's fine. 

"If P'Mew and Chom are happy, then I'm happy too." 

If you stay with me, I have no reason to be anywhere else .

"I'm sorry for lying and making you sad."

This time Chom's voice comes very soft like she's trying to hold back tears.

The boy caresses her head and rocks her a little to console her. 

"Let's call your father now. He can't wait to see you." 

As expected, Mew bursts out crying the moment Gulf tells him that the kid is safe with him, he swears and thanks the boy a million times asking to meet immediately. 

They decide to meet in the public area near a shrine, where the iron gate creates a small private space that prevents curious eyes from observing while they pour out their feelings. Gulf and Chom are sitting on a marble bench when Mew catches up with them, running up the duo with pure exhaustion written on his face. It's not the reunion Gulf had imagined after ten days of silence, but somehow he's glad that the thrill of the moment has left no space for awkwardness.

Mew embraces his daughter the moment he's close enough to grab her arm and cries out in relief immediately after. Seeing him so vulnerable is yet another punch in Gulf's face, so much that he feels his eyes tingle too but he has to hold back or Chom would crumble as well. 

"Why did you do it!? Why!?" 

Mew's voice is cracked and desperate. He sounds angry, sad and relieved all together, even though the way he's touching Chom's face, shoulders and hands is so caring and attentive that it's impossible to not notice how happy he is to be hugging the little kid. 

Inevitably, Chom also starts crying and wraps her hands and legs around her father, letting out loud wails and hiccups against his chest. 

"I'm sorry! I wanted to find-" Another sob. "...P'Gulf so you don't feel lonely!" 

Mew shakes his head, gritting his teeth to refrain the aching growls coming out his mouth. He's devastated and Gulf doesn't know how to help if not by stroking his back softly, whispering that it's okay and that the worst has passed. 

Besides, Chom's words have only hit harder into Mew's open wound, making him bite into his lip and furrowing his brows in a painful grimace. He pecks his daughter's nape one, two, three times, wipes away her tears and kisses her forehead again. 

"I'm such a bad father. It's my fault for making you worry. But you can't do it again, please please don't do it again, okay? You're everything to me, if something happens I-" 

Mew chokes on his words and sighs. It's when Gulf decides that he's seen enough, he rolls his eyes and lets his own tears roll down his face. There's a mix of feelings inside him, he feels responsible for Mew's pain and Chom's behavior but he's also rejoicing that everything is falling into pieces again. All that matters is that Mew needs reassurance and, damn, Gulf needs it too so he surrounds his boyfriend's shape with an arm and rests his cheek on Mew's head trying to send him all the support and love. 

"I'm sorry." He whispers in between Mew's hair. His cry is silent but not dry, streams of tears are falling on his lover's head but he doesn't seem to care. In fact, Mew takes the chance to slip an arm around Gulf's waist and pulls him closer, planting a humid kiss on his neck before pecking Chom's head again. 

"I'm sorry." Mew says, voice thin and guilty. He tightens the grip on both his boyfriend and daughter before exhaling slowly as if he wanted to release all the stress and fear with that action. "I'm so sorry." 

"I'm sorry too!" Chom adds, grabbing the hem of Gulf's t-shirt. 

The position is a bit ridiculous but the way they're all seeking and reaching for each other is making Gulf feel like he belongs to them, he belongs to that family. 

He doesn't know how many minutes have passed, he only knows that when the sun begins to set none of them has yet to move. 

By the time they reach Mew's place, tiredness has taken a toll on everyone. Chom has fallen asleep in the car and Mew is currently carrying her to her bedroom where she can finally end the most stressful day for all three of them. 

It's not weird to be wandering around Mew's condo again, maybe Gulf feels a little more conscious than before but he still sees it as his second home. The copy of the key card is still inside his wallet and he knows all the furniture and appliances' disposition by heart. Still, standing in the middle of the kitchen when he knows that he hasn't properly made up with Mew is a little uncomfortable, so he decides to busy himself until his boyfriend comes back from Chom's room. 

His head has been aching for a while now, tired and drained by the events of the day, Gulf can sense a particular vein pulsing on his temple and instinctively reaches for the medicine cabinet to look for a painkiller. He grabs a glass from a cupboard and juice from the fridge and then he almost jumps out of his skin when he notices Mew leaning on the wall behind him. 

There's a faint smile on his lips, like he's really pleased with what he's seeing but at the same time it's clear how exhausted he is. 

"Don't take me for a creep but I love seeing you in my kitchen. I'm still scared it could be a dream." 

Three steps are all it takes to close the distance between them. Mew cups the softness of Gulf's cheeks and gently presses his lips on his lover's forehead. 

"Don't think you have a fever, luckily. You can rest if you want." 

There's really nothing Gulf wants more than rest but he knows he still can't indulge in his favorite activity, not until he and Mew haven't settled their misunderstanding. 

"I think we need to talk." 

He says looking into his boyfriend's eyes. They're both so sleepy but Gulf can tell that Mew also expected the day to end like that. In fact, he nods and releases a long sigh. 

Before any of them could say a word, though, Mew pulls at Gulf's collar and hugs him tightly, rubbing cheek against cheek in an official, tender reunion. Being in Mew's arms feels amazing, warm, safe, even if he's surrounding him a bit too strongly and the stubbles on Mew's chin are scratching his cheek. There's nowhere else he'd rather be at that moment. 

Suddenly Gulf feels a little too overwhelmed to take the lead, the afternoon has consumed all his tears usage for the month so his eyes stay dry even if he can feel his voice stuck in his throat. 

"You first." It's barely a whisper but he tries to emphasize the words by brushing Mew's hips and lacing his hands behind his boyfriend's back. 

None of them want to let go, too scared that another confrontation may lead to one of them leaving again. 

Then Mew wets his lips and lowers his eyes, tracing an invisible line down Gulf's arms before holding his elbows. 

“First thing first, I have to apologize." His voice is calm and sincere. "Everything you said the other day isn't true but if you even only once thought that it could be, then I failed as your partner. " Mew stops to look at Gulf's reaction, leaving him time to process the words and making sure he can continue with his speech. “You’re right to say that I’m too overprotective and that I might still have some issue to solve with my ex, but it’s not keeping me from trusting you. In fact, it’s the opposite.”

Another break. Gulf watches Mew gathering word by word while caressing his forearm with sweet touches. The last time they saw each other the man was still fighting over Chom's custody and, shame on Gulf, he doesn't know exactly how things ended, so he makes a mental note to ask as soon as they made up. 

"A few days ago, Chom asked me why daddy wasn't coming over these days and… It took me a moment to realize that she was talking about you. When I heard her calling you dad , I wasn't jealous nor surprised, I was relieved." 

Gulf is holding his breath, Chom had called him like that once, but it was out of jealousy so learning that it was becoming a habit is making the boy feel like he's on cloud nine. On his part, Mew seems just as excited as his lover is, beaming at the way Gulf lighted up at the mention of the word 'dad', rubbing their noses together in affection. It feels so good. Gulf feels so lucky. 

"The reason why it's still hard for me to let others around Chompoo is because we suffered too much. Looking back, I still don't know how I managed all of this alone but then my daughter is calling my boyfriend like that and that means that she's ready to let you in just like I am."

Gulf opens his mouth to tell him that it's okay, that it's understandable in his position but Mew is placing a finger on his lips before hugging him even tighter. 

"I can't promise that I will never be possessive again but-" Again, the man halts and stares right into Gulf's eyes as to show how sincere and determined he is "I know what I want. I want you to be present for my daughter, I want her to grow up with two parents and I want to know that when I'm not around, she will always have someone to rely on. I want to leave for work knowing that if I'm coming home late, someone else will be providing for Chom. I'm not the father I used to be, you spoiled me and now I can't do it alone, I need someone to be beside me and it can't be anyone. It has to be you. There's no one else I trust."

A small smile blooms on Gulf's lips hearing those words. It's exactly what he also wants so he nods quietly and pecks his lover's lips. 

"You can count on me." His voice is hoarse but he doesn't care as long as Mew is watching him with so much adoration. 

"I'm not done." The man disentangles their limbs to bring his hands to Gulf's face, stroking his cheeks and kissing the tip of his nose. "When I say that I want you to be a father for my daughter, I mean it. But I want you to know that if Chom wasn't here, I would still choose you. You're my happiness whether or not Chom likes you and I know that this family is so messed up, but I don't love you because I need you, no matter if I'm at my highest or lowest, you'll always be my priority."

Unexpectedly, Mew slips a hand behind Gulf's nape and pulls him closer for a kiss. The moment lasts for a few seconds, sweet and warm, until the older man is retreating with lucid eyes and a big smile on his face. 

"I love you Gulf and I know we've been dating for a few months only, but I am a father and in my life I had to face many obstacles, so I don't need more time to know that I want you to be my last." 

It's either Gulf bursts out in tears or he finds a distraction so he grabs Mew's shirt and pulls him in for another kiss. His eyes sting a bit and his chest feels heavy for how content he is, the discussion has definitely exceeded any expectation. 

With a tiny voice and an overwhelmed heart, Gulf finally finds in himself the words he has waited for a week to say. "I love you too Mew and I'm sorry if I overreacted but I guess I really needed to hear this. I'm sorry." 

The way he's holding onto Mew's shirt mirrors the exact emotion Gulf can feel inside. There's this desperate need of keeping the man beside him because without Mew he feels lonely and lost and like Gulf cannot love anymore.

"And I would choose you too, even if Chom hated me, even if your parents would never accept me. I want to be the first person that comes to your mind when you need help." 

Mew smiles against Gulf's lips. 

"You're already that person. That's why I called you today." 

The previous tension has been washed away, leaving them clinging onto each other and sharing an occasional kiss whenever their eyes meet. Gulf can finally relax as Mew starts caressing his back, taking the chance to recharge his love-battery with every move. 

It's not until Mew's stomach begins to growl that they let go, deciding to order take out for dinner. For the entire night they throw glances and smirk at each other, happy to bask in the lovely atmosphere that is once again hoovering upon them. They consider moving to the bedroom when a kiss becomes particularly heated but give up after they decide that they missed cuddling too much to rush things. Sleep comes soon for both, while they're watching TV together and Gulf is lying on Mew's lap. The younger boy snuggles into the comfort of Mew's scent and yawns while the latter moves a strand of hair out of his face.

"You're not allowed to leave. You belong to this family now." 

Gulf barely hears the words as he dozes off, but he still falls asleep with a smile on his face. 

Epilogue

"Dad! Look! Looook!" 

Both men crouch closer to the wooden door measuring the tiny gap between one black mark and the other. 

Chom is pointing at the higher mark proudly, standing on tiptoe to look taller. 

"Indeed, you are six centimeters taller than last year." Mew announces writing the number five right next to the mark. 

The little girl grins widely at her new achievement and picks up her new giant sized Care Bear to have it measured too. 

It's a pity that Chom's birthday happened in the midst of the week or Mew would have taken her and his boyfriend to the beach for a special day. They're still planning to visit soon, but for the time being Mew resorted to ordering a customized cake while Gulf stopped at a mall to buy her a huge plush. The celebration is intimate, only among the three of them but Chom seems to have everything she needs. 

On the weekend they will bring Chom to visit her mother and her new partner, as Mew and his ex have agreed after finding a compromise. The agreement also requires Mew and Gulf to be present and supervise the situation since the kid wasn't too fond of meeting her mother at first, even though she quickly changed her mind after learning that the woman has recently adopted a pet. 

Then, on Sunday, they planned another family gathering that is making Gulf quite nervous but also excited. Chom's birthday has fallen on a time of settlement, when Mew and Gulf are still trying to get used to their newfound routine, but it's also a great excuse to officially visit their parents as a family.  Looking back at the past months, Gulf has collected many sweet memories, like that time Mew and Chom surprised him at work, a reservation at the fanciest Skyview bar for no reason just because I love you so much or when Mew had to go on a two days trip in Indonesia and Gulf had been appointed the parent in charge.  There's only one thing left in his agenda: introducing Chom and Mew to his parents. Of course they're aware of their relationship and Gulf has shown them several photos of father and daughter, but they never had the chance to properly meet the duo.  It's a big step for Gulf because he finally feels like he found his home and he wants Mew to understand how serious he is about it.  Furthermore, Gulf knows for a fact that his mother has always wished for grandchildren and when he started to date men, the boy had been conscious of the impossibility of having a kid of his own. 

Chom isn't technically nor legally his child, she still calls him P'Gulf most of the time but then there are moments when she feels particularly cuddly or in need of attention and shyly calls him 'dad' or 'papa'. Those are the moments Gulf knows he'd fight everyone to protect her and he will never treat her as anything less than a daughter. 

"This is for you." Mew hands him a piece of cake and goes back to sit next to the boy on the floor, watching Chompoo dancing with her new plush. His head is resting on Gulf's shoulder, occasionally rubbing his cheeks to sneak a few sniff-kisses. 

"I can't believe she's five already." Mew yawns. 

"One day you will wake up and she'll be planning her life outside of this house. We should enjoy these moments until they last." 

It's simply life. Children grow and become independent. 

"Hmm." It's a weird reply from the man but Gulf decides that he only cares to imprint that moment in his mind so he shrugs it off and pecks Mew's head, going back to observe the little girl dancing. 

Mew slips an arm around his waist and squeezes his hip softly. 

It's perfect. 

When his birthday comes, Gulf hopes he will have the chance to celebrate it in the same way. 

When Mew parks the car in front of the house where Gulf grew up, the boy is shivering in anticipation. He's a bit nervous but also thrilled at the idea of officially introducing Mew and Chom to his parents, even if technically his boyfriend already met them once but this is going to be completely different. 

Chom has worn a dress for the occasion, her hair has been braided and adorned with pink bows (courtesy of Gulf and a tutorial for beginners on YouTube) and she insisted on carrying around the new plush she received for her birthday. 

On the other hand, Mew has opted for casual clothes, giving up on suits and stating how suits are for those who dress to impress. 

"I'm not asking for their permission to date you, just informing them of my existence." He had said while getting ready for the meeting. In all honesty, Mew seemed so confident before leaving the house but now that he's about to meet the in-laws he looks way more nervous. 

Walking past the garden and up to the front door, Gulf reminisces the old memories of when he was younger and never thought he would bring over his lover along with a daughter. He wishes he could tell his old self that it's okay to be insecure and scared but never regret his choices because in the end it will be so worth it. 

It's Chom who rings the door with the widest smile ever, even if Gulf thinks she's more excited to show her plush rather than meeting his parents. The sound of the automatic door comes so fast the boy wonders if his mother hadn't been spying from the peephole, revealing a woman with dark hair tied in a ponytail and the same eyesmile that's so characteristic of Gulf. 

"Hi mom." Gulf and Mew do a little wai and proceed to gently push Chom forward, urging her to introduce herself. 

Even before the kid could open her mouth, Gulf's mother had already covered her mouth like she couldn't believe her eyes. 

"You must be Chompoo, right?" She asks with a high pitched voice, kneeling a bit to be at the same level with the little girl. 

It's unusual to see his mother acting so cute, she's a very comforting and supporting woman but if Gulf inherited his introverted side from someone it's definitely his mom. Yet, Gulf also knows how much it must mean to her. 

"My name is Chompoo but you can call me Chom. This is my Care Bear, I have six Care Bear plushies and last week I turned five. This is my dad and this is Phi Gulf." 

Chom introduces everyone, making the small group laugh, she's almost out of breath for how quickly she has spoken and Gulf figured she must have rehearsed her speech several times. It's cute, Gulf's mother finds it cute too because her face stretches in another smile and her eyes begin to shine a little. Since when is she so sentimental? 

Gulf decides that it's time to properly do some introduction or at least to give some context to the kid who's looking at him, waiting for instructions. He places both hands on Chom's shoulders and leans next to her ear. 

"Chom this is my mom. She wanted to meet you so much." 

Gulf's mother nods vigorously and opens her arm to welcome the little girl. There's a quick exchange of glances between the little girl and Mew, a silent request for permission to hug the woman that is easily granted. 

While Chom allows herself into the woman's arms, Gulf takes a moment to fully enjoy the moment. He walks back next to his boyfriend and slips a hand into Mew's. Being surrounded by people he loves, feeling the warmth from Mew's hand and seeing his family becoming one… it's truly overwhelming. 

In front of him, his mother is holding Chom like the most precious and fragile treasure, maybe a bit too tight considering how she's a stranger for the kid. 

"You can call me auntie. Alright Chom?" She says fixing the wrinkles she did on Chom's dress. 

Gulf can see the effort his mother is putting into making the little girl as comfortable as possible. It's almost painful because it reminds him that this is everything he can return to his parents and still his mom is so ready to accept his new family with open arms, trying to get close to them since the very first meeting. 

Chom turns towards her dad with a questioning look, only to be replied with a nod. 

Curious, Gulf has no idea what's going on. He gently tugs at Mew's wrist to ask for an explanation but the man only smiles and beckons at the scene in front of them. 

It's in that moment that Chom goes back to face Gulf's mother and half covers her body with her plush in a shy way. 

"If you're Phi Gulf's mom then I should call you grandma !" 

Gulf goes stiff in a millisecond, gripping at Mew's hand and watching his mother remaining just as shocked. She eyes him and then Mew and then Chom again as if she wants to make sure she hasn't misunderstood the meaning behind those words, then she nods, wiping away a single tear and hugging the kid again. 

"Yes dear, you can call me grandma-"

Soon the woman is sobbing and laughing at the same time, Gulf has to lean on Mew's side to refrain from bursting into tears as well seeing his mom so happy and relieved. He softly slaps the man's side pretending to be annoyed at the cheesy way Chom was instructed to respond, even if both of them know how much Gulf appreciates it. 

"What's happening here? Are you okay?" Gulf's dad makes his appearance in that moment, a stained apron tied around his waist and thick sweat beads falling from his temple. He looks at his wife confused and then turns to the couple, making Mew flinch and breaking any physical contact with his boyfriend. 

So much for feeling confident, Suppasit.

Gulf and Mew bow again, mumbling a greeting but they're soon interrupted by Chom who has taken a liking to be the center of the attention. 

"I am Chompoo, this is my Care Bear, this is my dad, Phi Gulf and grandma." 

She explains like it's such a hard job to remember all the names. 

Of course Gulf's dad only focuses on the last part, widening his eyes for a moment and looking at his wife. 

"Grandma? Are we grandparents now?" The man laughs a bit nervously but Gulf can hear a hint of anticipation in his voice. It's like he doesn't want to create too many expectations but isn't able to hold back his excitement. 

In response, his wife hugs Chom closer showing a big smile. 

"Chom say hi to grandpa." 

The little girl opens her mouth in a O shape like she finally understood the situation and wais at the man. 

"Ohh, so educate." 

Again, Gulf sees his dad holding back probably embarrassed for feeling emotional in front of a kid. He's never been good at showing his emotions but being his son, Gulf knows exactly how to read the sign and it makes him beam in pure contentment. 

This is exactly what he wanted, he can only be satisfied (and a little emotional himself) with how things turned out. 

"You're going to spoil her so much, don't you?" 

Gulf's mom asks her husband while caressing Chom's head. 

"You know me, I can't resist this cuteness." 

Chom giggles and starts jumping around as a way to hide her shyness. She's only a kid, yet Gulf is so proud of the way she's behaving so naturally around his parents. He's not sure if Mew has anything to do with it, but it seems like Chom had been informed about the people she would meet or she wouldn't be so open and comfortable around them. 

And, yeah, maybe he did it for Chom's well-being but Gulf knows that part of the reason was to make him feel special and at ease. 

"Let's go inside, I'm scared to leave your sister near the stoves alone." 

It's one of his dad's usual jokes to escape an embarrassing situation. With time, he will warm up around Mew and Chom and Gulf can already catch sight of the excitement lingering around the man. He's happy and relieved to see his son settled down, it's just that he needs time to get used to the new dynamic. 

Before going back inside, Gulf's dad dares to take a step towards his son and hugs him for long, patting his back fondly like he was preparing to officially say goodbye. 

"Congratulations, son. May you be happy every day of your life." 

His dad whispers in his ear with the softest voice, too timid to share his thoughts with the rest of the people. Then he turns to Mew and unexpectedly places a hand on his arm, staring at the man with nothing but gratitude.

"I'm leaving him under your care. Thank you for treating him well." 

For a moment Gulf is about to retort how he can take care of himself but soon understands what his father meant: he's acknowledging Mew and Chom as his new family. His father is giving his blessing to build a family together. 

"Thank you sir. I promise you will never regret it."

Gulf rolls his eyes to stop the threatening tears. It seems like all he's doing lately is crying but he's so happy, feel so complete. 

As he closes the door behind his back, Gulf knows a new chapter of his life is about to begin. 

A few hours and a full stomach later, Gulf is walking out his old house and looking for a familiar face in the garden. Chom has completely fallen for his sister Grace and is currently busy learning how to do a manicure for her new auntie, which means that Gulf and his boyfriend are free for the next hour or so. 

The garden isn't as big as the one at the Jongcheveevat mansion, nor it has many trees that create a secluded place to talk, but in the backyard there's a hidden corner with an old swing bed that's out of sight from indoors. Gulf finds Mew sitting there, rocking his legs just enough to make the bed move at a slow and calming pace. 

As soon as he sees him, his lover pats the empty space next to him. He's smiling but there's something on his face that is making Gulf worry, almost as if he needed to let go of a concern. 

"Thank you for today. It couldn't go any better and it's thanks to you." 

Gulf sighs and scoots closer to his boyfriend, resting the head on his shoulder. He feels Mew sniff-kissing his nape and gently rubbing his nose on the spot in an affectionate way. So good. Gulf wants to bathe in that moment forever, he wants to remember the sunlight shining through Mew's eyelashes, the lazy warmth spreading across their bodies definitely too close for the weather. He wishes for Mew to feel just as light-hearted and accomplished as he's feeling looking at the life they have created together. 

Instead, Mew resumes rocking his legs absent-mindedly, looking out with empty eyes. There's definitely something bothering him. 

"What is it?" Gulf asks, glancing up from his boyfriend's shoulder. 

"I'm thinking." 

"About what?" 

"Hmm." 

Again, Mew is looking straight in front of him but it's like he isn't really seeing anything. There's the faintest hint of a smile on his lips, although it is kind of sad. 

Gulf entwines their fingers together, then pecks his neck hoping to soothe his worry. 

"Talk to me." 

That's when Mew exhales and then takes a long, long breath. He surrounds Gulf's waist and pulls him closer. 

"It's something you said, I can't stop thinking about it. We've been together for almost a year but I don't know if I'm rushing things and I love our life now, so… I guess I'm afraid to make another mistake." 

"Elaborate, Suppasit." 

Mew takes his hand and starts playing with Gulf's fingers. 

"During Chom's birthday you said that one day she will leave to pursue her own life and- yes, of course I know. It's not like I've never thought about it because it's life and every parent has to deal with it. But…" 

Gulf snickers and pokes his lover's arm. 

"Being sappy already?" 

The grin on his face immediately fades away when the boy notices how serious Mew is. His eyes are sharp, stoic and decisive. 

"Gulf, when that day will come, I want you to be there with me. Not only as my boyfriend but I want you to be present as Chom's father. I want you to be included in every decision, to help me raise her and be the parent her mother couldn't be." 

If Mew has noticed that his boyfriend is holding his breath, he doesn't show. He only makes sure Gulf is listening before continuing. 

"I imagine you and me waving proudly at her while she leaves our house and it will break me, but you'll be there. I won't be alone. I won't feel alone. I won't have to go back to an empty house or eat alone every day, because in my future you're always with me." 

Gulf doesn't know what to say. It's not even a question so he's not supposed to give an answer and he knows that the moment he opens his mouth, his voice will crack from the emotion. It's inevitable when the most important person in your life is saying that the feeling is mutual, right? Gulf has promised himself he wouldn't cry again so he bites into his lips and looks straight into Mew's face. He hopes the man can see how sincere he is. 

"There's nothing I want more than this. Trust me when I say it already was my plan. I also see you in my future Phi." 

Soft lips press against Gulf's in a sweet peck. Mew is staring at him with such loving eyes the younger boy feels like melting. It's all sweet and lovely until his boyfriend scrunches his nose and puts a little distance between them. 

"If you want it too, I need you to be there.. I mean always be there." 

He lifts a brow like Gulf should understand something that he isn't getting so Mew chuckles and hides his face in the boy's hair shyly. 

"I think you should move in with us." 

Oh. 

Maybe it's not the reaction Mew expected because he's peeking at a frozen Gulf who hasn't said a single word with a worried expression. 

"See? Told you I was rushing things!" 

"No!" Gulf snaps out of his trance. His heart is beating so fast. "That's.. unexpected but-" 

His voice gets stuck in his throat once again. It's hard to speak when all you can hear is the loud hammering of your heart and your head is broadcasting a million different domestic scenarios. 

Living with Mew and Chom is definitely on Gulf's to-do list, actually sometimes it feels like they're already living together for how often Gulf is staying. It's yet another step to officialise their status, the promise of a commitment. Is Gulf ready to take this step? Damn, yes. 

Before Mew can panic, Gulf cups his man's face and kisses him long and deep. 

"Shit, let's do it." 

"Yes?" Mew questions in between kisses, sounding genuinely surprised. 

"Yeah." 

It's Chom who breaks them apart a few minutes later, running happily to show her new painted nails. It's a light pink color with a lot of glitter and she looks excited to show them to her friends at the daycare the following day. 

Mew picks up his daughter and places her on his lap, stealing glances at his lover with the corner of his eye. 

"Hey Chom, what do you think about P'Gulf living with us from now on?" 

The little girl doesn't even flinch. 

"He already live with us."

It comes so natural that Mew and Gulf exchange a relieved look. The younger boy cannot refrain from ruffling her hair and leans in for a peck on her head, then he bites into his inner cheek because his chest is acting funny and his eyes are beginning to sting a bit.

No, he won't cry. 

He doesn't indeed cry but he takes a glimpse at a teary-eyed Mew who is also struggling to keep his cool. His boyfriend meets his eyes and smiles as brightly as the sun, mouthing an 'I love you' that is immediately reciprocated. 

The moment doesn't last long because Chom is claiming her right to be pampered for good. She climbs into Gulf's lap and sticks a hairpin in his hair before tying her dad's into a messy apple bun. 

When she's satisfied with the job she huffs and falls in between her two dads. 

"Let's go home?" 

She asks visibly tired. 

Mew rests his head on top of his daughter, while looking at Gulf's with so much love. 

"Let's go home." He repeats, making it clear how he's not only answering the little girl. 

Carefully, Gulf also leans on them holding Mew's stare. 

He takes a moment to fully appreciate everything that has happened to him in the past year: Mew, Chom, finding a new family, overcoming his insecurities and building a new future. 

He doesn't expect their life to always go smoothly, but he can't wait to walk down the road holding their hands. 

For now… yeah, for now let's just go home. 

─ the end