Chapter Text
“Okay. Remember to stay within the limits we established, yeah? If someone blocks your way or recognizes you and asks for pictures, politely decline them. Nothing to worry about, just try to have a good time. You know the sign in case you need some assistance?” Junghyun’s manager asks while fixing his useless sunglasses.
They both nod at the same time.
“Great, you're good to go” He says, already looking at something else in his phone.
The plan is simple: they’re parked just one block away from the cafe, it’s a very discreet one, all things considered; located in one of the more familial neighborhoods in Incheon. It’s also right in the midpoint between Seungmin’s dorm and Junghyun’s, so logically, it would make sense for them to have a date there.
Seungmin extends his hand to Junghyun to help her step out of the car, and they start making their way side by side to the cafe. They came to a mutual agreement to wait for the hand-holding until the end of the date when they exit the cafe, so it would look more natural to everyone that could spot them around.
To Seungmin is still all the same. He woke up that morning and did everything on automatic mode; he didn’t have to dread the moment he would perform this date with Junghyun, it was going to happen anyway, with or without him being excited for it. The only favor he could do to himself was to keep going and try to swallow his real feelings for the time being.
“After you” He says to her, Junghyun smiles and says goodbye to her manager before stepping out of the black mercedes, gracing the dirty sidewalk with her pink ballerina flats.
They’re both wearing matching facemasks and Seungmin has the hood of his navy blue sweatshirt covering the back of his head and framing his face. Junghyun doesn’t look nearly as mysterious but according to her it was an intentional decision from her team, whatever that means.
The cafe is as small on the inside as it is on the outside, decorated with fairy lights and leafy vines, light brown walls and black leather couches for every booth. It looks homey but casual, perfect for a first date manufactured by two of the biggest companies in the kpop industry.
“Good afternoon! Over here” A petite waitress clocks them as soon as they appear on the other side of the glass door entrance, she leads them to a further back booth even though Seungmin wasn’t made aware they had a reservation.
Once they take their seats and thank the young girl, they are handed a newspaper-sized menu each. Seungmin sets it down as soon as the waitress disappears around the corner.
“How long is this supposed to last?” He asks, paired with a cocky smirk like he’s saying some kind of teasing remark and not thinking about their departure even though they just made it there.
Junghyun instantly catches up to the game, as she usually does. She lets out a shy giggle and tilts her head to the side.
“Forty-five minutes to an hour” She gives him a glossy smile.
“Great” He says through an overly sweet smile.
Somewhere from the window on the far side of the room, he can almost hear a flash going off. And the Dispatch articles and tweets are already writing themselves in his head, along with the fan reactions, his mother questioning him via messages, and also the online death threats of course.
Junghyun starts a casual conversation about the dance practice he attended the last time they saw each other, Seungmin keeps talking as he usually would, but this time he knows this is a performance, so he needs to deliver.
Laughter, giggles, a slithered touch here and there. They are feeding the lions, or rather throwing a feast for them as they settle into their roles; he knows what’s on the line, a tiny ink smudge still staining his finger from when he signed the last NDA he was handed.
“So I heard you liked baseball, right?” Junghyun asks.
“I’ve been a Lotte Giants fan since I was nine” He nods.
“My sister likes baseball too actually! Though I never cared too much to learn about it, and if I’m being honest, I actually thought it was kind of lame” They both laugh, Seungmin even throws a balled up napkin at her.
“Are you really trashing one of my lifelong passions on our first date?” He asks, slightly louder than he usually would speak.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!” She shifts her stare to a more serious one. “Although maybe you should take me to a game, see if I change my mind”
Damn, she’s good. Seungmin would stand up and clap if he could.
For some reason, his actual surprise must’ve been the correct response to that because he continues, confident.
“Sorry, I don’t bother dealing with haters” He says in a fake-annoyed way, crossing his arms and all.
“Oh” A sort of awkward pause follows, and Seungmin is afraid she might have drawn a blank for a moment. “Fine, I’ll invite you. First row tickets, how 'bout that?”
The recovery is so smooth that Seungmin’s smile is genuine for the first time that night.
“And hotdogs” He adds in a deadpan-but-kind-of-considering-it type of way.
“Fine” She rolls her eyes.
“And ice cream after the game”
“Sure” She nods even though she’s fake-glaring at him.
Another pause follows.
“What a girl has to do for a second date” She says through a sigh.
Seungmin laughs, and he does it in a way so natural that it almost scares him. Maybe he should pursue acting after this.
Junghyun winks at him, and something tells him this is her breaking character for a second.
Now he knows. They’re both in on this after all.
***
The first wave of reactions come right when Seungmin is getting ready for bed. Nothing major is out yet, but a few minor speculative articles have been going around already.
He’s just finished brushing his teeth and flossing when he steps out of the bathroom to find his phone vibrating like crazy on top of his pearl white comforter. His eomma (as expected), some friends from his hometown, and even halmeoni; then there’s his sister who sent him a single three word text: ‘what the fuck’.
The rest of the members don’t really have a clue yet, but he knows for sure Hwang Hyunjin is going to burst through his door at any minute asking for an explanation. He will give him one, then he’s going to be insufferable for the rest of the week probably.
But for now, he just answers the texts with cryptic reassurance that everything is going absolutely fine. Nothing to worry about! He will answer all the questions they have once he comes back home for his yearly break. Done.
Although a lingering thought stays in his mind before he closes his eyes in bed: how is Changbin going to react? Will he be cheerful and playful about it? Will he pass it off as if it’s nothing important? Is he going to allow him to explain anything?
Should he?
Seungmin and Changbin are on good terms again. They laugh together, they make jokes at the expense of the other, and Changbin even asked him to rub his shoulders after a particularly tiring stage. They’re fine. Worrying about the state of their friendship is just dumb and irrational. It’s not like this thing with Junghyun is linked to anything that could affect them as good friends.
Seungmin lays in bed, covers drawn up to his chin and fluffy pillows arranged perfectly to his taste. He closes his eyes but sleep does not come, instead, his mind is clogged with images of carefully crafted news articles and disappointed faces.
***
Surprisingly enough, none of the members mutter a single word about his little date the next day. At least not to his face, which means nothing because they don’t talk behind each other’s backs. That could imply two things, either they are purposefully playing dumb about it or they still aren’t clued in with what happened that day. The first one being more plausible than the latter.
But it’s fine, Seungmin has prepared himself for either outcome; and he knows he can count on his bandmates to treat the situation accordingly despite the initial worry that may come with it.
When Seungmin had asked if the rest of the group would know about the insides of this PR stunt, the two managers of each group glanced at each other from across the table.
“They’ll know what they need to know” Is what manager-nim had said. His grin resembled a stress ball being squished a little too hard, abruptly forced and disturbing in an uncanny valley type of way.
He could’ve asked for further or clearer explanations, but he was running on a single bottle of mineral water and five hours of sleep that morning, and he still needed to save brain power for the rest of the day. Vague answers be damned.
The rest of that same week goes as usual, albeit more rushed and demanding than their last comeback. Rehearsals, boring meetings regarding promotion, last minute studio hours, a photoshoot for a magazine paired with individual and group interviews, and a few live and pre-recorded performances. Among the chaos of it all, he almost forgets about his outing with Junghyun.
It isn’t until he gets pulled aside regularly by their manager, each morning, that he feels his nerves crawl inside out once again. As hectic as their schedule may be, it’s become more or less familiar, and Seungmin has the reassurance that he’s not going through any of this alone; but this thing with Junghyun feels like going on a side quest, and he has no one to rely on. As he follows his manager through the hallways of the upper offices, he comes to the realization that he hasn’t felt this exposed and uncertain since his trainee days.
***
Chan gives him a funny look when he enters the practice room that day. Seungmin adverts his gaze and swallows, this is it. Chan found out about the date and the inevitable worry is finally sinking so deep that he can’t contain it in his mind anymore. He will pull Seungmin aside and gently interrogate him, he will ask him to be more careful next time if he is going to start seeing another idol. He will give him a few pats on the shoulder and a fake smile, and will send him back into the room with the rest of the guys.
Seungmin raises his eyebrows at him in a playful manner and Chan lets him escape, for now. Still, he knows that the more he tries to avoid the unavoidable, the more difficult it will be for both of them; and the worst thing is that Chan will allow him to slip away, thinking that he’s giving Seungmin the space he needs before having this conversation. He will continue worrying about this issue just so Seungmin can continue being a coward.
They’re going over the choreography for their next single, S-class. It’s not the most complex choreography they’ve done, but he’s still struggling with some details regarding rhythm and tempo.
“Seungmin-ah, can you look at me when I’m trying to explain this to you?” Minho’s face is tense, he’s frowning in that way that indicates he’s not mad yet but he’s definitely irritated.
“Sorry” Seungmin mutters, Chan’s gaze is still heavy on him. He’s doing his best to try to mask it, he’s such a good guy and leader, and Seungmin is almost intentionally screwing him over. “Actually, can we take five?”
All eyes are on him suddenly.
Minho raises an eyebrow at Seungmin and leans in slightly. He looks like he’s about to say something but then Chan clears his throat louder than usual (even if the room is as silent as can be) and both start communicating with their eyes. Chan seems to win in the end.
“Take three” Minho says to no one in particular.
Seungmin makes a mental note to spend extra time practicing once he’s dealt with this.
“Hyung” He motions his head to the exit. Chan catches his stare and nods.
“We’ll be back” He announces, they get out of the room in silence.
He closes the door behind them and leads them to a secluded corner in the hallway.
“Alright, I guess you know what I’m meaning to talk about, right?” He asks with a grimace.
“Yeah. Those articles about me and…” He trails off, giving his answer an opening for Chan to take it and start his speech.
Chan nods. He’s not looking at Seungmin, instead, he’s focused on the end of the hall leading to the practice room. He scratches the skin above his top lip.
“Is this a thing? I mean–do the managers know? Does the company know?” Chan frowns.
“Uh” He bites his bottom lip, eyes casted down. “Yeah, I didn’t know if anyone had told you guys but–We’re doing this”
“Oh” Chan looks pale all of a sudden, and Seungmin doesn’t need to explain further. He knows that Chan knows.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything until now, I just didn’t know how to approach this and,” He sighs “Honestly, it makes me really uncomfortable talking about it. But I should’ve done it anyway, it wasn’t my best moment. Sorry, hyung”
“Seungminnie, it’s fine. I’m not angry, none of us are,” He pauses for a moment and something weird crosses his face, it only lasts a second but it’s enough to spike Seungmin’s worry. “Just know that is fine if you’re scared or if it feels awkward talking about this, but no one is going to judge you, okay? We always have each other’s backs, you know? We look after each other. And whatever you need–I just need you to speak up about it, yeah?”
Seungmin nods.
When they come back to the practice room, the rest of the members are clearly trying not to be too obvious about their staring, still, they’re not very subtle.
Seungmin decides to ignore them, to make them feel like they aren’t intruding at all. He makes his way to the back of the room where his water bottle rests, as he drinks, Changbin starts approaching him from behind.
“Hey, do you want me to stay with you for extra practice? The guys are pretty much all set with the choreo” He says, his tone is neutral but gentle. Seungmin can appreciate that, nevermind the surprise he gets from Changbin willingly offering to spend time alone with him.
“Sure” He offers his brightest smile, or so he hopes. “Thank you, hyung”
“You can repay me with dinner later” He slaps the side of his shoulder and winks before walking away.
Seungmin pretends he’s hurt from the slap, in return, Changbin gives him a playful smirk looking over his shoulder. He smiles, his eyes lingering on Changbin’s frame until he gets brought back to reality by Minho’s sharp gaze.
***
By the time they finish practicing, Seungmin’s forehead is dripping with sweat and his clothes stick to his body uncomfortably. All signs pointing to a productive day of choreography practice.
“You’re sweating bullets,” Changbin says through a sheepish smile, even though he’s also drenched in little droplets. “You should really come to the gym with me sometimes”
Seungmin’s mouth gawks, Changbin stares at him with a blank face.
“Are you saying I’m out of shape?” He, very purposefully, opens his eyes wide and puts on a murderous facade.
“Yah! I meant that it would be nice to build up your stamina,” He counters.
“But suit yourself” He shrugs before taking a quick sip of his own two liter water bottle. “If you want to keep those noodle arms that’s up to you”
“Dick” Seungmin punches him on the bicep, then he does it again, and again; like he’s using Changbin as a literal punching bag. Changbin quickly places his bottle on the floor and launches himself towards Seungmin, the latter starts running the opposite way.
They do laps around the practice room with matching grins on their faces. It brings Seungmin back to his childhood days of playing hide and seek with the kids around his neighborhood, the sun shining on their backs and the redness puffing up their cheeks. They just let themselves be, not a care in the world, their minds would erase every reminder about homework and the obligation of going to school the next day.
Seungmin didn’t realize he yearned for those days still. Until now.
Changbin chases Seungmin, and they’re both strangely energetic despite having danced their asses off just minutes ago. At some point Changbin catches Seungmin from behind, he grips the front sides of his waist and brings him closer to his own body until they’re practically glued to each other.
“Let me go, Hulk” He says, but he can’t help chuckling between the words. And Changbin holds him so firm and tightly against his chest that it’s infinitely impossible to escape from his grip, even if Seungmin actually tried to.
“Not until you learn your lesson, punk, '' Changbin says through gritted teeth. His hand suddenly comes into Seungmin’s view, and he’s caught off guard, too slow to react when it starts blocking his sight.
“Stop!” He yells.
Does he mean it? Of course not. If it were up to Seungmin, he would spend days and weeks locked here with Changbin. Even if the ceiling fans are not enough to dissipate the heat built up, even if they still don’t have the necessary hydration in their system. Even if the others are waiting outside, the clocks ticking away and each minute marking every beat of their selfish strike; and they'll start growing more and more restless without having their presence to squeeze for profit.
Suddenly, Seungmin’s brain short-circuits and he decides to do something, to be active for once. He wiggles his body enough to turn around, facing Changbin straight on. What he falls to calculate, or think about enough, is the way their faces inch so close. Their breaths mingling in the confined air trapped between the two.
And Changbin still grabs onto his waist, his hips, he feels him everywhere.
Seungmin doesn’t want him to let go. He rejoices in the heat, both of their musky scents melting in a strangely satisfying way, their bodies pressing against each other until it becomes almost unbearably warm; but it never quite does. The pillowy strands of hair beneath his fingers as he brushes the fluffy swoosh at the crown of his head, messing it up even further.
He misses the moment Changbin’s eyes go from playful and amused to dark and wanton.
“Seungmin” He says in a warning tone.
What’s coming up is probably the most predictable thing ever. A ‘we shouldn’t do this’ type of moment. But then there’s an annoying thought that flashes over his mind like a warning sign, in big neon red letters, that can’t let him think properly.
Stray Kids. Junghyun. Endless pages of legal gibberish. Stay. Their music. Their reputation.
“I don’t-”
“I’m fake dating another idol” He blurts out.
It only takes a second for the contact points between their bodies to suddenly be torn apart, like little torches biting on flesh.
“You’re,” Changbin doesn’t look startled, not even surprised.
His arms are still stretched out as if he were holding an invisible version of Seungmin. He doesn’t seem bothered by the sudden confession, bursting out of his mouth like a deviated projectile; messy and unpredictable in a way that could only be filed under ‘disaster’. The sight is disappointing and overwhelming at the same time, and he has no idea of where to take it from there.
Changbin then sighs, he drops his gaze and rubs his chin like he’s putting together some elaborate thought. Seungmin stays silent through it all. He wants to sit on the floor and gradually let his body drop until he’s morphed into a fetal position. He should’ve known better than to let his impulses overtake his actions.
“I knew it” He finally mutters, a small but strenuous smile plastered on his face. Seungmin swallows. “I just didn’t want to. But we both know that’s not possible now, isn’t it?”
The silence that follows is perhaps the worst part of this whole week. Nevermind the occasional insomnia and his overworked brain trashing the fantasies of things getting better some day.
“I didn’t want this” Those are the words that manage to trip out of his mouth. His own saliva tastes like toxic residue as he comes up with something to follow it up, anything, and fails.
“Hey, are you okay?” Changbin speaks in a soft whisper.
Seungmin just shakes his head and hides his face in his arms, no longer able to stand the sight of Changbin staring at him like that. Like he’s a street rat that sneaked into a family house and got caught skipping around under the bed, starved for anything and unable to get it anywhere at all.
It’s even worse when itchy tears begin drooping down his cheeks. But he pulls himself back, enough to avoid exploding into a sobbing fit, but not enough to pretend he’s not affected the way he clearly is.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry, yeah? I’m sorry, Seungminnie” Changbin's strong arms wrap around him and it feels like an anesthetic.
Seungmin would ask him to stop apologizing, he would say that he’s the one that should be saying sorry. But he can’t open his mouth, too afraid of having the floodgates slam open. Still, Changbin just brought the cards to the table. He exposed his dubious decision-making skills, yes, but that doesn’t make it any more fair to him.
“Changbin,” He starts when he finally stops shaking, his skin is cold but his body stays stoic in place. “I didn’t think this through”
“I know you didn’t, I imagined so” He gives him a tiny smile, but his eyes don’t match the gesture, too wet and delicate by themselves.
He pulls away and quickly walks to where his gym bag is resting on a corner. Seungmin takes advantage of the small break to look away for a moment, to let his mind reset and his emotions spill down into a balanced (and more acceptable) level.
Changbin comes back with a long sigh leaving his parted lips.
“Look, it’s okay now. You made the right choice by telling me, Seungmin-ah” He brings a tissue to his eyes and starts dabbing the wetness around them, ever so gently that Seungmin could cry again just for this. “Do the rest of the guys know?”
“No” His voice sounds like a birthday cake smashed into the ground, heavy and soggy.
Changbin swipes once on each of his under eyes and shoves the tissue into his joggers’ pocket.
“That’s fine. Do you…want to keep this between us?” He asks in a near whisper, even though they’re the only ones in the room and no one is likely to interrupt them anyway.
With that question, Changbin is hanging the choice around Seungmin’s neck. He’s not thrilled to make a choice that he won’t be able to take back, but if this is all it takes to patch things up into a semi-normalness, then he’ll endure it.
He’s already wrapped in a time bomb, what’s the damage in being a little rebellious about it?
“Yes, I’d–I would like that” He murmurs, accentuating his words with tiny nods.
“Then you have it, pup,” Changbin says with an easy smile and a warm palm pressed to his shoulder.
This time he doesn’t look like he’s powering through a layer of pain while smiling, Seungmin is glad. Because if Changbin can feel better about this, there’s also a chance Seungmin will get there too. Sometime.
***
‘seungmin dating scandal??? for real this time?? 😭😭😭’
‘wait THERE’S PICTURES THIS TIME?? FREE MY MAN RIGHT NOW’
‘I swear if yall start being weird about this’
[ reaction video ]
‘seungmin baby, I’m sorry but I can’t take this scandal seriously 😔😔’
‘sorry but who even is this girl? does anybody know her??? 😭😭’
‘Please respect Seungmin’s privacy and space, we don’t even know if this is real in the first place’
‘If you support whatever stunt JY*E is doing right now please block me’
´This shitass company can’t even handle a minor rumor. So yeah, sorry if I’m genuinely worried about seungmin right now’
Seungmin watches the twitter screenshots slide one after another on the giant TV. He glances over at Junghyun, sitting on the opposite side of the long wooden table. She doesn’t seem too affected by the few comments regarding her, in fact, she catches Seungmin’s eyes on her and gives him a wink and a comforting smile.
Right, these are the comments regarding his part of the fandom.
It was only two hours ago that the first batch of major articles regarding the coffee date with Junghyun started circulating. HD photos and all.
“Okay, so as you can see, people are not really buying it,” One of the guys from the head of marketing team says. “Stays seem to be particularly–um–taken aback by this”
“I swear these people are going to kill me one day” Manager-nim mutters under his breath, sitting right beside Seungmin, as he massages his temples.
“But don’t you worry, we designed a fool-proof strategy for this” The man talks with his hands like a cheesy car salesman. It would be funny if it wasn’t slightly embarrassing. But then again, isn’t this all of the people that work in marketing?
“I don’t get it. Where does Hyunnie fit in all of this?” Junghyun’s manager, still wearing his stupid sunglasses on top of his head, says. He takes a quick sip of his tall glass of water and opens his mouth to, most likely, complain again. Thankfully, the marketing guy interrupts him.
“Let me explain everything first. Questions at the end, please” He announces with a greasy smile.
Seungmin’s knee starts bouncing under the table.
“The plan goes as it follows: Seungmin and Junghyun will stop seeing each other publicly” Despite his best wishes, the room (filled with their managers, sales representatives, and lawyers) erupts in opposing protests. “Like I said, let me finish, please!”
The room quiets only when the guy announces an interesting premise once again.
“It will be like a conspiracy theory! We’ll sneak in hidden messages for the people to discover and analyze. You know how the internet works, they all love a good mystery. Plus, these people blaming the company will start blaming themselves for forcing Seungmin and Junghyun into hiding in the shadows again”
At this, everyone but the two people in question, Seungmin and Junghyun, start nodding their heads slowly; like they’re finally seeing this poor intern’s vision.
Seungmin sneaks a glance at Junghyun, but this time she doesn’t seem as laid back as she did mere minutes ago. He slowly raises his hand like he’s a child in school again.
“Yes?” The guy in the front motions at him to speak up.
“I–how are we supposed to do that?” He speaks slowly like he’s doubting his own question.
“Seungmin-ssi, you don’t even have to worry about that! You leave it to us to do our magic, yes?”
Seungmin nods, still confused; and by the looks of it, he’s not the only one doubting this strategy.
Once the meeting ends, with everyone agreeing to follow this plan as close as to holding a magnifying glass to every step of it, Seungmin asks Junghyun if she wants to take the elevator together; separate from the execs.
“What do you think about this?” He asks once they’re secluded from the suffocating air in those meeting rooms.
“It seems overly complicated” She sighs, looking ahead like she’s contemplating something else. “Do you think we didn’t perform well enough?”
“What?” Seungmin can’t help letting his confusion follow him even outside those rooms.
“Like, I thought we did a good job on that ‘date’” She makes quotation marks with her fingers on the word date. “But–maybe it wasn’t enough to convince the fans”
Seungmin observes her from the corner of his eye, this is the first time Junghyun truly looks defeated over something she used to be so optimistic and hopeful about. He can’t help but feel a pang of guilt, this whole thing was fucked up from the beginning but they can’t back down now.
“No. I think this is out of our control, Hyunnie” Seungmin borrows the endearing nickname his manager used earlier but with none of his cynicism, he hopes. “I think the best thing we can do right now is stick together through this, yeah? I’m here for whatever you need, and I know we met only a few weeks ago but, I think you’re a great girl and I don’t want you to be burdened by this”
He speaks with sincere words, hoping to compensate his insecurities with some genuine reassurance; because he’s aware he can’t be the only one worrying about this. Junghyun is the leader of her own group, he doesn’t know her that much already but he’s sure she has a lot to deal with already. He doesn’t want to let her slip into the feelings and mindspace he’s already struggled with.
Junghyun looks at him with wide and kind eyes. She smiles, sweet as ever, and nods.
When they step out of the elevator together, Seungmin bids her goodbye with a quick hug. On the other side of the lobby, where two other elevators reside, he notices two pairs of eyes settle on them.
Chan plays dumb like a professional, Changbin not so much. His eyes linger and bore into him, even if he knows he’s not being intentional about it. Chan briefly waves at Seungmin and Junghyun, then he more or less drags Changbin to the exit.
Seungmin watches them leave. And he knows Junghyun watches him watching them.