Chapter Text
Now that Marechiyo knows that he is stupid enough to have fallen in love with his captain, he has to figure out what he is going to do about it. After all, this is not just some run of the mill realization that he has made here; this is the sort of thing that could completely ruin his life if handled incorrectly. Hell, it’s the sort of thing that could ruin his life no matter what he does, because this is not something that he can do alone. Like it or not, Soi Fon is very much involved in all of this, and her actions are going to matter every bit as much as his are.
There is, of course, always the option of doing absolutely nothing about this, though. She is likely going to kill him for even considering having feelings for him, and that would be the easy way out. As far as he can tell, his feelings for her are completely hopeless, because there is no way in hell Soi Fon is ever going to see him that way. She has made her feelings for him pretty clear, and they have not changed in all the time that he has known her, except to possibly get even worse.
There is no way in hell he could ever convince her to fall in love with him, and he would end up hurting and humiliating himself in the process. If only he could just forget this realization had ever happened, but it is as if he has unlocked something major and, try as he might, he just can’t get it to all go back. His feelings for her have not changed, but becoming aware of what they truly are makes him feel as if a major change has been made, and as if he is never going to be able to look at her the same way.
His heart is always going to race when he sees her, unless he is able to get over this somehow, but he knows better than to try and pursue her, all the same. Even if he has to suffer on his own, wouldn’t it be better to just ignore his feelings and avoid further suffering?
With all that in mind, he has a lot going on when his father summons him for an important family meeting. Marechiyo is so caught up in his own feelings that he is not even curious about what his father wants to discuss, assuming that it probably has something to do with his business, or the recently resolved war. It isn’t until his father actually states his intentions that Marechiyo realizes how serious his situation has already become, before he even realized the path that he was on.
“I’m going to start searching for your bride,” Marenoshin says. “At your age, it’s time you marry someone so that you can work to carry on the family name.”
It takes him a moment to even process those words, and then, he is so overwhelmed by the meaning behind them that he still can’t think of anything to say. At the very least, his father must be able to tell how shocking this is for him, because he doesn’t say anything else, and instead gives Marechiyo a chance to gather his thoughts.
In a way, there’s nothing all that surprising about the fact that his father expects to arrange a marriage for him. He knows how things tend to work in noble families, and even if it hasn’t been discussed for him before, he’s pretty sure his other siblings have had engagement discussions before. Then again, he hasn’t paid all that many attention to their affairs, and…wait, is Mareyo going to have an arranged husband one day?! He can’t handle the thought of her getting married, not now or ever, but that isn’t even what’s important right now!
It is so difficult for Marechiyo to keep his thoughts on topic, but even before he is able to identify what it is, he knows that there is something very wrong about all of this. What was it that he was thinking about, before he was given this rude awakening?
His captain! He remembers now, and it all relates perfectly, because he’s just realized that he’s in love with her. Even though he was just thinking about the fact that it was all hopeless, the instant he imagines himself marrying someone, having to move on from her when he’s only just realized how he feels, he realizes that he isn’t ready to give up on her. Not yet, not when he hasn’t had the chance to try.
“But…but I…” he starts to protest, but he realizes he doesn’t actually know what to say.
“What? You’ve already got a girlfriend, or something?” his father asks, looking amused.
“Not exactly, but…well, there is someone that I’m interested in…”
“So, you want me to reconsider because you have a crush?”
“It’s not like that! I…I care a lot about her, but it’s more than that.” Marechiyo might just be talking out of his ass right now, but he knows that there’s at least some truth to his words. “The two of us work well together, we’ve proven ourselves to be compatible. And she’s of high standing herself, both as a captain and-”
“You’re in love with your captain.” His father hardly looks like he believes this, and Marechiyo is ready to resign himself. If even his own father doesn’t believe in him, then what chance does he have? Maybe his decision to give up was the right one. Maybe all of this really is hopeless. However, when he speaks again, it’s to say, “If you can actually win her over, I might consider it. She’s not a bad choice at all, and I haven’t even begun the search. But if she turns you down flat from the start, you’re going to give up on her and let me find someone more realistic.”
In a way, it’s not actually his father’s blessing, or anything like that. He still doesn’t seem like he believes in him, but he must think there’s a slight chance, if he’s going to give Marechiyo a chance. That, or he’s looking to teach him a lesson by humiliating him with Soi Fon’s rejection, but if that’s the case, he’ll just have to deal with it.
Because, in this short time, he’s come to realize just how important she is to him. Marechiyo isn’t going to give her up, not without trying to fight for her.
“Deal,” he agrees.