Chapter Text
Creamy dropped Barcode off at the spot Jeff wanted to meet a little late.
He had barely sat down and didn’t even have a chance to apologize for being late when Jeff spoke. “Here’s the deal. My mom guilted me in to this. I don’t want to do this, at all. I already have a girlfriend that I was planning to propose to before this whole mess happened.” He is blunt and angry with his words.
“I don’t want this either.” He finds his voice after the surprise.
“Ok, we’re on the same page. So, here’s what’s going to happen: We’ll marry and then divorce after 1 year. That’s enough time to convince everyone that it just didn’t work out. After that no more contact between us. Got it?”
Blinking in shock at being bombarded like this all Barcode can do is nod. He doesn’t want to marry, but somewhere inside himself he thought maybe it would work somehow. In all honesty, if it is just going to end in divorce he’d rather not marry at all. What’s the point?
“Great. See you.” Jeff said dismissively and left.
Barcode sat on the bench alone, feeling lost. He had made Creamy drive out here just for this? it could have been a phone call, a text message, even. He felt embarrassed calling her to come back as soon as she left. What else can he do?
Looking around he noted that there are a few interesting shops nearby he can take a look at. He decides to just do that and walks over to them.
The clothes in the shops are really expensive. Just one look at the price has Barcode turning on his heel and power walking out. No wonder the workers had given him strange looks. A normal kid like him can not afford anything they sell.
That’s how he ends up sitting in a cafe, across from the shop he had just been in, eating lunch. While people watching through the window he sees Jeff walking along the other side of the street with a beautiful woman. From the way they are holding hands and his enamored smile it isn’t hard to figure out that this is his girlfriend.
She is definitely gorgeous with long flowing brown hair, big pretty eyes, and a small flawless face. Wow. Barcode is in awe. He guesses he shouldn’t be surprised; Jeff himself is objectively a very attractive person, so it makes sense his partner is just as attractive.
That has Barcode thinking. They obviously love each other a lot, it’s clear to see in their gazes when they look at each other. He doesn’t want to get in the middle of a relationship; just the thought made him gross and uncomfortable.
Staring down at his food he frowns and debates what to do; do his parents know he has a girlfriend and still forced it? Maybe he should tell them? Ugh, so annoying, why does it have to be him? Why’d they have to make such a stupid promise in the first place anyway.
Sighing, he buries his face in his hands. All his friends are worried about is passing their final year of high school, yet he has to worry about getting married to someone that clearly dislikes him, and how his life will be after.
Finishing up his lunch he leaves the cafe and just walks around for a while to clear his head. After a couple of hours of walking around aimlessly he calls Creamy to pick him up.
She asks what they had talked about and he tells her a vague truth. “Nothing really, just a little about our future.”
As soon as they get home Barcode is ambushed by his family about wedding decorations, his outfit, and other details. All he can do is watch them put so much time, effort, and money into something that neither of them want and that will just be going to waste in the end. It leaves him feeling devastated and he cries that afternoon in the privacy of his room. He cries as much as he can , so he can make it through all this without breaking down during the process. And it is a process.
The next few weeks are a blur of wedding preparations and stress from seeing his soon to be husband so much. Their interactions are strained and unpleasant, mostly due to his non-stop aggression. Barcode wants to snap at him for being a jerk, but he holds it in. It will just makes things worse to respond to aggression with more aggression.
He doesn’t really understand all the preparation when they are just having a small wedding with only close family. Barcode doesn’t want any of his friends to know about the marriage, so he kept his mouth shut about it. His parents are confused why he doesn’t invite them, but respect his decision and leave it.
Jeff also doesn’t want anyone outside of his closest friends to know and kept quiet about it. He isn’t exactly famous, but he is known enough that it would make headlines if word got out, and he wants to avoid that at all costs.
Finally, after 1 month from the day they met they are standing in front of their families and friends to take their vows.
The officiant looks to Barcode. “Barcode, do you take Jeff as your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.” He says after a pause that is a little too long to pass off as anything other than hesitation.
He turns to Jeff. “Jeff, do you take Barcode as your lawfully wedded husband?”
Jeff stares back at him, and he is so close to saying no; to just saying screw it and running out of the wedding and back to Nene. Instead he says, “I do.” Through gritted teeth.
Once they said they’re strained “I dos” there is the awkward moment of the marital kiss. They just stare at each other silently, before Barcode turns to the officiant.
“Can we skip that part?” He whispers shyly.
He glances between the two and seems to understand, so he nods and moves on. “I now pronounce you husband and husband.”
There are congratulatory cheers and hugs. Barcode gets a little swept up in the excitement; he feels tears prick at his eyes, not from happiness, but sadness. He comforts himself with the thought that it is finally over and he can go home and curl up on his bed to rest. That goes straight out the window with the bombshell his mom drops on him.
“Ok, honey, we already dropped your stuff off at Jeff’s house, so you will be heading over there now.”
“What?!” He almost shouts. “What do you mean?”
His mom pats his hand she is holding. “Dear, you’re married now. You will be living with your husband.”
For some reason he didn’t expect to be moving into Jeff’s place. He thought he’d still be living at home with his parents. He felt sick at the thought of having to live with someone that hates him.
“Isn’t it too soon?” He asks, anxiety making his heart beat quicker and his body tremble a little.
“The sooner the better.” His mom cheerfully sang.
Barcode can’t help but feel like he is being pushed out of their lives. First, he has to get married to someone he doesn’t even know. Now, he is being told he has to live with him? Sure, ok, they’re married, but can’t they just live their own separate lives? No one outside of the people here know they’re married anyway, so what difference does it make where he lives?
As always, he resigns himself to his fate and once the reception is over they are practically pushed into Jeff’s car to start their married life.
Please kill me. It is the most awkward and uncomfortable car ride of his life.
Jeff had been equally as blind-sided by this turn of events and he grips the steering wheel tightly to help keep his anger at bay. No one had told him the kid would be moving in. Maybe it should have been obvious, but he hadn’t wanted to think about it to avoid manifesting it into reality. Looks like it didn’t matter either way.
They arrive to Jeff’s house after a bit, get out of the car and walk in silently. Neither moves from the doorway, and Barcode feels like the awkwardness is going to make him go insane.
Ok, let’s try to ease the tension a little. Maybe dinner? He is starving, having been too nauseous the whole day to want to eat, so he imagines Jeff is, too. “Are you-“ he’s cut off abruptly.
“No.” Jeff says without bothering to hear the rest of what he has to say. “Your room is over there.” He waves his hand in a general direction.
If that isn’t a dismissal Barcode isn’t sure what was. Breathing out slowly to try and keep his almost broken string of patience he walks in the direction Jeff gestured and opens the first door he sees. It is a regular room with not much in there; just a bed, bookcase, and desk. A guest room, he realizes. He sees his stuff is already in there he just needs to unpack and set everything up.
Looking at all his stuff he debates on what to do. He doesn’t particularly feel like unpacking right now, so he just puts out some of the easier stuff to get rid of boxes, and then shoves everything else in the closet and under the bed to deal with later.
Still feeling hungry, he goes out in to the kitchen. It all feels strange and foreign and uncomfortable, but he starts looking for pans and cooking utensils. He has to at least familiarize himself with the kitchen if he wants to feed himself.
“What are you doing?” Jeff’s annoyed voice comes out of nowhere, making him jump in surprise.
He turns to face him. “Umm, making something to eat?” He says uncertainly.
Jeff scowl makes Barcode want to just go back in his room and not come out. “You’re making a lot of noise.”
“Sorry.” Barcode apologizes, figuring it is better to diffuse than engage in any potential argument. “I’ll be quieter.”
That didn’t seem to be what Jeff wanted to hear because he frowned deeply. “Don’t touch anything unnecessarily.” With that he left the house.
His words left Barcode lost. What does that even mean? What he can touch and what can he not touch? It would have been better if he just said don’t touch anything at all, but now he has to worry about what he can and can’t touch? This isn’t going to be easy.
While he makes himself a simple dinner his moms words ring in his head. ‘You will definitely be happy.’
He silently prays, even if this isn’t forever, she is right. He really dones’t want to live a year of misery.