Chapter Text
The journey from Nazuichi Beach to Inazuma City was by no means an easy one. It would be multiple days of hiking before they’d be forced to await a ship at the edge of the neighboring island.
The contents of the letter gave Kunikuzushi enough confidence to let them simply travel around the islands along the beaches. It would take a bit longer, but the hike itself was easier and they weren’t in any rush.
He sighed, starting the tread with his soldiers following behind him. Kazuha flew about them, seemingly happy to glide along at a slow pace in order to not get ahead of the group.
It was silent for a long time as they walked, only footsteps could be heard. Kunikuzushi was emotionally exhausted, barely paying attention to their surroundings.
He didn’t even realize hours had passed— they were already on the larger Kannazuka island. He decided the setting sun was enough sign to allow soldiers to set up the bare minimum of their camp and rest.
Kunikuzushi watched them all unpack their sleeping arrangements before raiding the food crates to snack on what they could.
He sighed and quietly joined them, ignoring the sound of Kazuha landing on his makeshift bed from nearby. He grabbed his food and took a seat on the bed, silently eating next to the angel.
It was weird to be unable to talk to him, but they were not given the same privacy as they had when in his tent.
Kunikuzushi ever so slightly leaned against Kazuha, pressing his weight onto the angel as he ate his food.
Kazuha could only smile and rub at the small of Kunikuzushi’s back, whispering into the humans’ ear. He whispered about all the things he saw during his flight, how the clouds from afar seemed to be blowing closer to them, how the birds flew with him.
Kunikuzushi made no reaction to any of the words, though the faintest smile could be seen on his lips as he ate, indicating he was listening.
The sun set and Kunikuzushi explained to the soldiers that they would be sleeping in shifts. Kunikuzushi would sleep for the first four hours, then would awaken and take the place of whatever soldiers stayed awake during the first half.
Kunikuzushi quietly laid down in his blankets, offering space for Kazuha. The angel slotted himself next to the human, easily wrapping himself around him. To people nearby, it looked as if their general was simply curled in on himself.
Kazuha gently stroked Kunikuzushi’s hair, occasionally kissing the male’s forehead to coax him into sleeping. Kunikuzushi found his eyes growing heavy, clutching onto Kazuha under the blankets as he slowly fell asleep.
Four hours passed by and Kunikuzushi was shaken awake. He sat up without a word, nodding at the soldier to tell him to rest now.
Nothing eventful happened during the night, Kunikuzushi nodding off a few times in a tired state. The moment the stars began to fade and the dark sky started to lighten, the soldiers were up and the hike once again continued.
They took breaks every couple of hours, allowing the soldiers to rest. The longer they walked, the less weary Kunikuzushi had become. Unfortunately, this meant that they were walking less and less distance as the hours went on.
Everyone was exhausted, so they called it a day. They had only managed to walk half the distance they had from the day before.
It wasn’t a big deal, his mother wasn’t expecting him to come home. It wasn’t like they had to rush to aid her in battle.
In all honesty, Kunikuzushi didn’t want to return to the city.
He didn’t want to return to the shallow mansion where he would be forced to wait.
He wanted to stay on the islands forever, living his days holding Kazuha and smiling together.
It wasn’t realistic, he knew that. But it was a hope that began to etch through his blood while their hike began to get slower and slower.
He was going to stretch out this time as much as physically possible.
Kazuha could see right through him and his plan. He could tell the human was trying to take as long as possible. He couldn’t blame him, in fact, he let Kunikuzushi continue to take as many breaks as he could.
Anytime Kunikuzushi saw a soldier beginning to struggle behind the group, he’d declare an hour rest. They had barely made any progress and thus, Kunikuzushi decided to call it a day.
Kazuha himself seemed a bit on edge, which was a new sight to behold. The angel seemed to try and hide it, not looking Kunikuzushi in the eyes as he pulled his feathers out and set them down next to him.
That’s how they ended up sitting next to each other on a rock, overviewing the ocean. Feathers slowly pile up next to them.
“I don’t want to go back,” Kunikuzushi mumbled quietly.
The ocean drowned out his words, all the other soldiers dead asleep as the stars sparkled above them.
“I know, but they do. And they deserve to see their families. Plus, I have a bad feeling. I’d rather not be out in the open for longer than needed,” Kazuha replied, voice soft as he smiled over at Kunikuzushi.
Kunikuzushi hugged his knees to his chest, staring out to the vast body of water. He sighed loudly, once more leaning onto Kazuha.
Kazuha was more than happy to support Kunikuzushi’s weight, smiling against his skin. He pointed up to the stars and began tracing shapes. It was in those moments he felt calmer, the anxiety building up within his system seeming to pause ever so slightly.
“You know, angels find their way home through the stars. We find the brightest star within the night and fly straight towards it until we reach our homes, far within the heavens. I think my star led me to you, though,” he whispered out, pressing his lips against Kunikuzushi’s temple.
Kunikuzushi felt his cheeks heat up, burying his face into Kazuha’s shoulder as he mumbled something in return. Kazuha could only smile and hold Kunikuzushi tighter, continuing to trace constellations within the darkening sky.
It was easy.
Loving Kazuha was easy.
Easier than anything Kunikuzushi has ever done.
Loving Kazuha was easier than breathing. It came so naturally to him. Honestly, he’d be more shocked if he learned someone didn’t love him.
Kazuha was unapologetically kind, patient, and gentle. He didn’t care that Kunikuzushi wasn’t a good person, or that he was emotionally constipated.
Kazuha understood that it was hard for Kunikuzushi to accept unconditional love, and waited for him every step of the way.
“We should head to sleep, Kazuha. We have to keep traveling tomorrow,” Kunikuzushi whispered into the angel’s shoulder.
Kazuha simply offered a hum back, offering his hand to the human and helping him stand. Kunikuzushi decided that nothing had happened so far, therefore they wouldn’t need someone standing guard at all times.
Kunikuzushi moved silently around the sleeping bodies, sliding into his make-shift bed and offering space for the angel. Kazuha shook his head a bit in response, offering a small smile.
“I think I’m going to stay up a little later, dear Kuni,” Kazuha whispered. His voice seemed a bit forced.
Kunikuzushi’s brows furrowed, slowly moving the blanket to cover his shoulders. He frowned a bit, staring up at Kazuha as the angel moved away from him, returning to the rock once more.
He watched for a few more minutes, sighing softly as the angel resumed plucking at his feathers. Eventually, Kunikuzushi grew tired of watching and allowed himself to sleep.
Once more, he was awoken with the peaks of sunlight blazing into his eyes. Kunikuzushi couldn’t feel Kazuha’s weight on him. Did Kazuha even return to his side?
Kazuha wasn’t even in sight. The only sign the angel even existed were the feathers scattered around the beach, blowing around in the wind.
Anxiety bloomed in his chest. Where was Kazuha? Would he really just leave in the night and not return? Would Kazuha really just leave him?
Kunikuzushi felt as his hands gripped the blanket, zoning out on his lap. He felt a sob try to escape his lips, but before he could let the tears fall, a hand touched his shoulder.
Kunikuzushi immediately snapped his head back, expecting to see an angel, his angel.
But instead, he was face to face with one of his soldiers. His brows furrowed, the soldiers lips were moving, yet it seemed as if no sound was being let out.
Kunikuzushi rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. There had to be an explanation for this all, but for now, he had a job to do as a general. He would have to push his own worries aside in order to stay in charge.
At first, the action dug into Kunikuzushi’s heart, he blamed himself, assuming he did something.
Kunikuzushi sat up and distributed food for soldiers. They weren’t able to eat much, needing to preserve as much as possible just in case. Each soldier got a basic meal: bread and crackers.
His mind swarmed with thoughts. What if it was my fault? What if I upset him so he left? What if he got found out by someone and got kidnapped? Killed? Was he even real? The feathers could be that of a bird. Did I imagine a whole ass angel in order to cope?
Kunikuzushi quietly ate before starting to pack up the camp once more. Within the hour, the journey continued.
Kunikuzushi kept his eyes on the ground in front of him. No one bothered to ask what was wrong. They all probably assumed he was just tired or something.
Kunikuzushi felt the urge to run away, curl up in a ball, and never move again. The chance that something happened to Kazuha was worrying. Maybe he needed help? And Kunikuzushi was leaving? What if he was just leaving the angel behind?
He glanced behind him, seeing nothing but the hundred or so soldiers walking behind him.
Kunikuzushi chewed on his bottom lip, lowering his gaze once more to the sand beneath him. He felt sick.
After days of taking frequent breaks, they hadn’t made a single stop for the day. Kunikuzushi ignored the burn in his legs and the need to hydrate. He ignored the groans of complaints from soldiers. He ignored it all as his mind raced.
Nothing else mattered. He felt abandoned. Hurt. Even if Kazuha ended up being a figment of his imagination, why would that suddenly cut off now?
That only left abandonment as the answer. He was left. Again.
He thought that abandonment would grow easier the more it happened to him.
It didn’t.
A cough caused Kunikuzushi to raise his head up. He turned his head, looking at the mess of soldiers behind him. How long had it been since they started walking? The sun was already starting its descent.
“We’ll stop here for the day. Unload anything you may need,” he mumbled out, unraveling his sleep bag and taking a seat on his make-shift bed.
He stared out to the ocean in the distance, letting himself to tune the background noise of the soldiers out.
Kunikuzushi wanted to cry.
More importantly, Kunikuzushi wanted Kazuha.
He wanted Kazuha to be sitting next to him, holding him gently, telling him everything is okay. He wanted Kazuha to kiss his cheek and whisper about every small detail in front of them.
Kunikuzushi felt the tears build up in his eyes. He blinked them away and told the nearest soldier that he was going to scout the area and would be back soon, leaving without a second thought.
He pushed himself through the grassy area of the island, opposite of the beach. It was thick with trees and bushes, almost an entirely different scenery. If the smell of salt didn’t surround him, he would’ve assumed he was on a different island entirely.
He found himself deeper in the forest, but close enough where he could see the temporary camp being set up from a distance.
Even when his mind was racing, he had to stay near enough in case of an emergency. Despite there being zero activity spotted so far, one could never be too cautious. Especially due to the fact that he was currently questioning his sanity as a whole.
He was truly doubting all of the moments with the angel. Had the loneliness gotten to him? To the point he managed to make up an imaginary partner of sorts?
Kunikuzushi let out a heavy sigh, wanting to desperately collapse onto the harsh ground. The thick scent of salt seemed to suffocate him, wrapping him in an unwanted blanket of self doubt.
Moments passed with Kunikuzushi glaring at a tree as if it had personally ripped Kazuha from his clutches. He only focused his vision once a blur of white fell gracefully from the sky. His vision immediately focused onto the object that floated down onto the ground in front of him.
It was a large, white feather. One that he used to stroke through with his hands almost nightly after getting over the initial embarrassment.
Kunikuzushi felt help flash through his mind, quickly looking around the area to find more feathers. He saw a few, following them like a dog sniffing a scent trail until alas, he saw large white wings and the pretty angel.
The angel was sitting on a rock, turned away from Kunikuzushi, and staring out into the trees.
At first, relief fled through Kunikuzushi’s mind. Relieved that the angel in fact wasn’t a figment of his imagination (probably) and that he was okay.
The relief soon bled into anger. Red, hot anger. He felt the words bubbling up in his throat as his fists clenched at his sides, digging his nails into his palms.
He was angry that Kazuha just disappeared without a single word. No warning, no heads up, not even a sign! Hell, he wouldn’t have even known the angel was okay if he didn’t decide to walk around!
Kunikuzushi took a deep breath, not wanting to lash out like his mother, before clearing his throat to make his presence known.
Kazuha immediately stiffened and snapped his head around, his body visibly relaxing when he saw it was merely Kunikuzushi. Though soon, the relaxation turned tense one more time, noticing the harsh glare on the human.
Kazuha’s brows furrowed, not understanding exactly why Kunikuzushi was upset with him.
“Yes, Kuni dear?” Kazuha asked softly, asking what Kunikuzushi wanted from him.
Kunikuzushi felt his anger grow. The angel didn’t even understand why he was mad. It was infuriating!
“Do not ‘Kuni dear’ me right now, Kazuha. You disappeared without a word! I thought you died! Or worse, that you had just been a figment of my imagination that whole fucking time!” Kunikuzushi couldn’t help his voice raising volume. He knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t risk anyone witnessing him talking to what was an empty rock in their eyes. He truly did appear to be losing his mind.
Kazuha blinked a few times. Had he truly been gone long enough to cause worry? It had only been a few days at most? That was basically nothing!
“I’m…sorry?” he responded, which seemed to only fuel the anger further.
“You should be sorry, Kazuha! Do you know how scary it was? Do you know how worried I felt? I was left wondering if you returned home, or if you got injured, or again, that I was quite literally going insane and that all of that was just really realistic hallucinations! Which I am still slightly worried was the case! Just… can’t you at least see why I’m upset? And stop looking at me like I shouldn’t be upset right now,” he mumbled out, voice growing more and more quiet as he went on.
Kazuha stared for a few moments, slowly starting to see it from Kunikuzushi’s side. It was a bit worrying, he himself would grow worried if Kunikuzushi randomly disappeared without a word one day. However, Kunikuzushi took this silence as Kazuha’s refusal to acknowledge he had hurt Kunikuzushi’s feelings.
Before the angel could clear it up, a loud shout could be heard from the direction of the camp. Kunikuzushi’s attention immediately turned to the noise. He quickly turned and began to run back towards the camp.
He spared one last glance over his shoulder at the angel, who sat flabbergasted at the chain of events. It took a few moments before the cogs in Kazuha’s brain began functioning again, causing him to run after Kunikuzushi.
Kunikuzushi made it to the camp within minutes, immediately looking around for the cause of the shout. He was breathing heavily, brows furrowed, and hand rested against the handle of his katana.
Though as he looked around, nothing seemed amiss. The soldiers were finishing setting everything up for the rest of the night. Kunikuzushi caught his breath, brows furrowed as he slowly began walking around the camp.
Kazuha had caught up, regretting his choices running as he clutched his knees and tried to catch his breath as quietly as possible.
“Is everyone alright? I heard a shout,” Kunikuzushi asked, observing all the soldiers look around at each other confused.
A few replied with a verbal “Yes” while others simply nodded, indicating everything was fine.
“Did any of you hear the scream?” he asked, already assuming the answer was no, seeing how calm everyone was.
As expected, all the soldiers shook their heads. Kunikuzushi’s brows only furrowed further, taking one more glance around at everything.
His eyes found Kazuha’s and his confused look switched to one of painful indifference. He looked away from Kazuha and took a seat next to some soldiers, clearly avoiding talking to the angel and making it impossible for Kazuha to get a single word in.
Kazuha frowned, growing anxious at the thought of Kunikuzushi being mad at him and being unable to fix it. It was simply a mistake on his part, along with unfortunate timing on his side, that wasn’t allowing him to fix this.
As the thoughts flooded his head, watching Kunikuzushi barely even pay attention to the people around him, zoning out, Kazuha felt a familiar ache in his heart.
The anxiety clawing through his body as his gut twisted through thoughts.
It was the feeling of becoming attached. He already knew he had an attachment to the human, that much was obvious. But that attachment was starting to feel more like being tied down. Emotions were always so confusing and overwhelming. He wanted to help Kunikuzushi, hug him, hold him, comfort him, be the reason the male smiled, and more. But the longer this went on, he realized exactly how dependent Kunikuzushi was on the angel.
That thought rolled through his brain. He caused Kunikuzushi this much worry from being gone for a few mere days? Granted, it was inconsiderate of Kazuha to leave without saying anything, but he thought he was being helpful!
In truth, Kazuha had noticed how slowly the group was traveling, and it seemed as if Kunikuzushi was too caught up in thoughts to travel at a proper speed. Kazuha assumed that the reason why was because of himself, so, he simply flew ahead and decided to wait. He was right, too! They had made it to his spot much faster than at the speed they were all traveling at before!
Kazuha chewed on his bottom lip, internally arguing with himself. Logically, he knew that Kunikuzushi had every right to be upset at him for not saying anything before flying ahead. But, his intentions were good! And he wasn’t even being given a chance to explain his intentions! So now, Kunikuzushi was just upset with him and Kazuha was forced to sit with that feeling.
It felt like claws wrapping around his heart. He never realized how terrifying it was to have someone mad at him. Kazuha wanted to fix it, but Kunikuzushi needed time to calm down first. It was rough, but Kazuha soon realized staring at Kunikuzushi surely wasn’t helping anything. He retreated to the forest's edge, sitting where the sand met the grass and hugging his knees to his chest.
Kazuha let out a sigh, distracting himself with the nature around him as he waited. He made sure that Kunikuzushi could easily spot him, not wanting to worry the human even more, while still respecting his space.
Hours went by; the sun now dipped far below the horizon. Everyone in the camp was asleep, except for their beloved general of course. After a few minutes of staring out into the night sky, Kunikuzushi decided sleep was futile.
Kunikuzushi knew within the rational part of his brain that Kazuha probably had a reason. But his heart ached with fear. Fear that he was being abandoned again, that Kazuha was in fact distancing himself instead of being upfront and simply declaring that he was leaving.
He hated it. The anxiety that rushed through him at the thought of being left, of being unloved. He was shown love and care for the first time, and now he was watching it deteriorate. He didn’t even know how to fix it. He wanted Kazuha to apologize without Kunikuzushi asking him to, but as he glanced over at the angel, it appeared that wasn’t going to happen.
Kunikuzushi huffed, ignoring the tears welling up in his eyes as he turned to face his body away from Kazuha, forcing himself into a temporary break from the pains of reality.
A few days went on with continuous travel, they were going at a steady speed. They had managed to cross onto the next island, all of them carrying their belongings and helping each other bring all of their equipment across the waist deep section of the water that barely disconnected the islands from each other.
Almost two weeks went by before they made it to the other end of the island. Now they would simply camp until a ship came to pick them up and bring them back to the main port of Inazuma.
In the back of Kazuha’s mind, he vaguely noted the thunder clouds rolling in slowly as they made it to the other side of the island. Dark clouds that covered the blue.
Kazuha never liked thunder. The storm made it a bit difficult to reach the heavens once again. Although it was easy enough to simply fly above the clouds, the view above was usually rather boring.
Just endless, thick, clouds that you couldn’t see through. Plus, the thunder was loud! So, it was safe to say that thunderstorms were much more beautiful to observe from the safety of land.
The camp set up on the shoreline allowed for a distant view of Inazuma City, the soldiers clearly excited to only have to wait a few more days before being able to return home. Kazuha himself grew a bit more comfortable with the idea of staying with Kunikuzushi for a while. Afterall, they could just explore the many islands of Inazuma together if Kazuha ever gets bored.
Kazuha and Kunikuzushi spent the days away from each other. However, Kunikuzushi seemed more excited to be back home. He missed his life of luxury ever so slightly, tired of being surrounded by so many people constantly. He couldn’t wait to show Kazuha his home and allow them to take their time with everything they wanted to do, despite them still not talking to one another.
Kunikuzushi sighed and laid down, watching the storm start to roll in, lightning striking in the distance and the calm lull of thunder following soon after.
Everything was calm, the storm's lullaby, the waves crashing against the storm, soldiers quietly talking amongst themselves quietly.
Thunder echoed loudly around and suddenly, there was a loud scream.
Kunikuzushi immediately sat up, looking around for the cause of the noise, though he was given barely three seconds before another scream could be heard.
Then, Kunikuzushi could hear the incoming whistle, immediately rolling away from his spot on the sand.
“Ambush!” Kunikuzushi screamed out, immediately diving towards the sand to grab his katana that was laid next to him.
Kunikuzushi needed to think. Yae Miko had informed him that the war was over, but they had to be given directly from the person directly below his mother, were these people also not informed that? Did Yae Miko lie to him?
He wasn’t given time to think, soldiers with katanas jumping out from behind the nearby treeline and rushing towards them at full force.
Adrenaline pumped through Kunikuzushi, immediately in a defensive stance. He couldn’t worry about the life of his subordinates at this exact moment, three soldiers rushing towards Kunikuzushi at once.
Kunikuzushi made quick work of them, allowing muscle memory to carry him through the motions. Rain began to pelt on his skin, soaking through his clothes, and invading his vision ever so slightly.
He didn’t stop.
Kunikuzushi couldn’t stop.
He couldn’t stop every time he pushed his katana deep into his attacker's stomach, twisting, before pulling back out to block another attacker. Bodies littered around him. He couldn’t tell how many bodies were subordinates, his comrades, or his enemies.
Kunikuzushi was running out of stamina, but he continued to push on. He had already managed to defeat over a dozen other soldiers, blood coating his clothes.
Kunikuzushi got a break within the relentless attacks, taking a moment to breathe as rain blurred his vision.
He took a good look around, eyebrows furrowing. Many of his own laid still against the harsh sand, blood puddling beneath them as other soldiers fought around them. Guilt flooded his body.
He should’ve been more cautious. He should’ve kept guard. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to relax. It didn’t matter if the war was technically over, it was fault that he wasn’t prepared for attack. It was his fault all of his soldiers were left scrambling for weapons and defense. It was his fault they weren’t able to attack back. He should’ve done better. He should’ve-
“Kunikuzushi!”
Kunikuzushi heard the noise before he felt it.
The sickening noise of a katana piercing flesh, pushing deeper and deeper.
The sickening rush of bile rose through him, his katana falling silently onto the sand as a mix of vile and blood escaped his mouth.
He gasped pathetically for air as he collapsed to his knees, feeling the katana move with him.
Kunikuzushi coughed violently, adrenaline turning to pure panic as he felt the katana twist within him before a foot pushed him the rest of the way down, as if he accidentally fell onto the katana and was a pest who needed to be removed from it.
Kunikuzushi fell onto his side, clutched the wound that pierced his side. It was clear that he was struck at an angle, the entrance wound starting in the middle of his side and existing just next to his belly button.
Kunikuzushi gripped the wound tightly, feeling tears fall freely from his eyes as he attempted to curl up. He could barely process the sound of screaming and the ache of his throat, unable to understand that he himself was the one screaming.
The attacker left his side, continuing on with the brutal ambush without acknowledging the general slowly bleeding out on the beach.
Kunikuzushi gasped for air as ugly sobs left his lips. He felt arms wrap around him and his first reaction was to fight. He tried to desperately push away, only to cough up more blood, staining the beautiful silk of the wearer.
Kunikuzushi felt the arms tighten around him, and he gave in. He let himself sob into the arms of the potential enemy. He squinted his eyes open, looking up at the one holding him through blurry tears and rain.
It was Kazuha. His angel. The one he cared for more than he cared about more than himself.
His lovely angel was crying. Suddenly, the anger felt so stupid.
He felt his own sobs die down, shakily reaching his hand up and touching the angel’s cheek.
“Kuni… my dear Kuni… please- please tell me you’re gonna be okay… I can’t- I can’t lose you too. Please, Kunikuzushi,” the beautiful angel sobbed out, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, collecting in Kunikuzushi’s hand.
Kunikuzushi could feel his senses dulling by the second, yet as he stared at the angel, all pain seemed to dissipate.
“My beautiful Kazuha is crying because of me… Don’t do that, my angel…” Kunikuzushi gasped out, breathing heavily between each sentence.
Kazuha’s hand cupped Kunikuzushi’s over his cheek, tears falling from his eyes as he shook his head.
Kazuha tried. He tried so hard to help Kunikuzushi.
The moment the battle started, Kazuha flew up into the sky to stay out of the way. He watched helplessly as the humans did what they knew best: destroy. He watched the lives of many he grew to know depleted beneath him.
But most importantly, he stayed still and watched as a soldier crept up on Kunikuzushi. At first, Kazuha believed that Kunikuzushi was staying still to give the attacker a false sense of confidence. But the closer the person got, the more his stomach twisted with anxiety.
Kazuha couldn’t help but squeeze his eyes shut and yell out, “Kunikuzushi!”
When he opened his eyes again, dread filled his body.
The sight of blood, his Kunikuzushi’s blood, drained out of his body, writhing in pain. Kazuha dived down to his side, not caring if anyone spotted Kunikuzushi’s body weirdly floating in their eyes.
Now, he was left holding Kunikuzushi as blood, so much blood, pooled beneath him. The rain diluted the thick liquid, and Kazuha was begging for the human to be okay.
He couldn’t stop crying.
“I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have,” he sobbed out, holding on tighter to Kunikuzushi’s weakening hand, “I shouldn’t have left, I shouldn’t have flown ahead… It was… so stupid… I was just- scared. And I thought I was helping. I’m so sorry, Kunikuzushi… Kunikuzushi dear, I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. We can fix this… Don’t leave. I can’t do this without you, I don’t want to do this without you.”
Kunikuzushi slowly blinked, barely processing any of the words as he stared at the beauty above him.
“The moon isn’t out tonight… A shame. Only the beauty of the moon could compare to yours, Kazuha… I wish I told you that more often…” he whispered weakly, his hand only remaining up due to Kazuha holding it up for him.
Kazuha’s brows furrowed as he shook his head violently.
“Don’t… don’t say that… You can tell me tomorrow… and the day after that… and for the rest of eternity, my dear Kuni, please… You’re not meant to go so soon. We were supposed to have longer. Please… please keep fighting.”
“Kazuha… you’re so beautiful. Even as you cry. It’ll be okay… You’ll be alright, I promise… You know I would never break a promise…” he whispered.
Kunikuzushi felt numb to everything around him. The sounds of the waves crashing violently against the shore, rain pelting the sand around him, swords clashing, people running, everything. All he could feel was Kazuha. The thought caused him to smile.
“I don’t want to be okay without you. Please… Please, Kunikuzushi…!” Kazuha hugged the human harder, sobbing into the human's neck. He couldn’t bear to see the life draining from the one he loved.
Kunikuzushi merely hummed in response, feeling his eyes shut slowly to avoid the rain.
Kazuha sobbed.
For a while, it felt as if the heavens themselves were sobbing for Kunikuzushi.
Kazuha didn’t know when the battle stopped, nor did he care. He merely noticed the silence after a while, the only thing filling the noise being his gasps and sobs.
He felt the rain lighten to a mere sprinkle, and then into nothing but a cold on his skin.
Kazuha felt tears dry against his blotched cheeks.
They didn’t get to say goodbye.
Kazuha slowly lowered the boy onto the sand, staring down at him, begging for this to be a sick dream. A dream where he’d wake up any minute, right next to his Kunikuzushi, who would stroke his hair and hold him until sleep came once more.
He never woke up.
Kunikuzushi never opened his eyes once more.
His chest didn’t rise or lower anymore.
The pool of blood got washed out by the rain some time ago, staining all the sand in its path.
Kazuha couldn’t handle it. Tears fell from his eyes once more as screams ripped from him. Screams full of pain, misery, regret, and most importantly, love.
He loved Kunikuzushi. He loved the boy more than anything. He loved the boy more than he loved the stars, Kunikuzushi was his star. His sun. His life force. For the time he knew Kunikuzushi, he had become his wings, his everything.
Now he was gone.
Lifeless next to him.
Screaming wouldn’t bring him back. Crying wouldn’t bring him back. Nothing would bring him back.
Kazuha felt himself collapse next to the cold body, gripping tightly onto the boy's soiled clothes as consciousness left him.
When Kazuha had woken up, he refused to open his eyes.
He knew. No matter how much he hoped that it was all a dream, the coldness next to him was proof enough.
Though, eventually he felt himself sitting up, wings drooped behind him. He opened his eyes and looked down at the body, his heart seemingly twisting in pain.
As he stared at what once was, he noticed a deep red blooming next to Kunikuzushi.
Kazuha barely noticed his actions as he reached forward and plucked the red from the ground.
Beautiful red petals could be seen, red as blood. He twisted the flower within his fingers.
A laugh escaped him, grip tightening around the flower as his head threw back.
Once more, his cheeks were trailed with wetness.
“Of course… It’s only fitting for such a beautiful flower to bloom from my beautiful Kunikuzushi… I guess this is you telling me to get up, huh…?” he whispered out to the still air, waves once more brushing gently against the shore.
Kazuha leaned down and gently placed a kiss on Kunikuzushi’s forehead.
He felt numbness push through him, emotions leaking out gradually as he placed the flower down gently on Kunikuzushi’s unmoving chest.
Kazuha felt as if life itself had lost meaning. What was he meant to do now? Kunikuzushi wouldn’t have wanted him to stay grieving by his cold body for eternity, but he also wouldn’t want him returning to his miserable job.
Whispers of the waves seemed to move him more than any solid thought as Kazuha reached down.
Next to Kunikuzushi was his katana, bloodied from use.
Kazuha’s shaky hand was clasped around the handle, slowly raising the blade higher and higher.
He could feel tears stinging in his eyes as the blade pressed up to his neck.
Kazuha’s lip trembled, guilt and regret filling his heart. He shouldn’t have argued with Kunikuzushi, hell, he shouldn’t have even flown away in the first place. If he had known that he would be losing Kunikuzushi mere weeks later, he never would have left. Guilt consumed his mind and heart, regret ripping through him. There was so much he should’ve done, ending his life would be the only just thing to do.
But as the blade pressed against his neck, he suddenly found himself frozen with fear.
Fear.
The one he loved most just passed away in a gruesome battle, it would make sense for him to follow, yet with the cold metal against, all he could think about was how much he wanted to live.
Kazuha wanted nothing more than to live. He wanted to experience everything that met the eye, roll down a grassy hill, have a picnic in a flower field, and simply exist.
He hated it.
He hated how much he wanted to live, even without Kunikuzushi by his side. Another sob left his lips, angrily twisting his body at an awkward angle and holding one of his wings out.
Before he could think, the katana made contact with the base of his wings. He sobbed as he sawed his wing off, screaming through the pain.
At the very least, he deserved the freedom of flight to be cruelly ripped away from him. He didn’t deserve the happiness his bloodied wings brought him.
Kazuha sobbed, unable to ignore the pain of cutting his wings off.
You deserve this pain. You deserve to suffer. You deserve to rot.
Kazuha laid pathetically next to Kunikuzushi, vision hazy from the tears that seemed to never stop. He breathed in, staring at Kunikuzushi with dull eyes. Still beautiful, even in death. Maybe death would bring Kunikuzushi a peace he was never allowed in this life.
Kazuha smiled sadly at the thought, slowly dragging his bloodied wings and laying them on top of Kunikuzushi’s body, resting the katana next to him.
The path of a wanderer would be lonely, but he would live. He would live for both of them.