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It's not that complicated. I just lost all my respect for him. It was a slow process. He has to be more aware of all the people who listen to what he says. But. I mean, we can all criticize him, but what good does it do? Like, what's the point? I never really understood. It was a dumb... war, or conflict, or whatever. Everyone's said everything about it already.
You know, sometimes I think about more views, more money. Of course, I love my community and my chat, and I love what I do. But I still think about it. [Silent for a while. He turns his head to look out of his apartment window. A car alarm is going off in the distance.] I think everyone thinks about it. Like, you know, what if I didn't have to live here? But it's too late for that. Some people just... get what they want, and others just don't.
I'm definitely still lucky. I'd say I'm the most popular Minecraft Speedrunning person... like, I get the most viewers per stream. Besides Illumina. But I still have to stream to pay the rent, you know? Dream doesn't have to do that. [Silent again.] It's easy to think about it; I always get annoyed when I do.
Sometimes I remember that time in MCC, the tournament, when Fruit said "I only watch Feinberg and Dream." When I first heard that he said that, I was like "Woah!", you know? "He said my name! To everyone watching." But now, I don't know. "Feinberg and Dream..."
The donation? Yeah, I remember that. It's like a month after he did his apology. Dowsky just got three thousand from him, and so did somebody else. I'm streaming RSG, and something comes up on the screen saying "dreamwastaken just donated $3,000." The chat goes crazy, of course. They almost never get that excited, even when I get world records... yeah, well, of course I'm jealous. And I remember, he typed out a little smiley face next to the donation. Just a smiley face... and I thought why are you donating to me? What did I do? Like, how does this fix anything?
I don't know a ton about it, but I know he never finished the donations that he said he'd do. His last message in the Discord was him saying that he still had fifteen thousand left to give. So that's at least five more donations. And I remember, in our group chat, my friends were all hoping they would get the next one. We were making plans for how we were gonna split up the money... and then he never donated. But we all kept hoping... And still, his last message in the server is just "$15,000 of promised donations left." Back in 2021. And he put a smiley face at the end. He's just unpredictable; nobody can force him to do anything.
You know, I think about it sometimes. [Looks down.] We've all heard his voice, and now we've all seen his face, but none of us know who he really is.