Chapter Text
- •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Ryo: “…”
everything hurt. but I didn’t care.
Nijika: “Did I keep you waiting?”
Nijika was here to make it all better.
Nijika: “You ready to check out all the stores?”
Ryo: “mm-hm.”
as long as I was with Nijika… it was all okay. she makes me happy. even if I can’t save her… I never have to say goodbye… if I just Reset every time before she dies… I’ll never lose her again…
you can do a lot in an hour… I bet we could share all kinds of experiences together…
but for now, she led me around the mall. I went to the record shop… she went to the home appliance store… we both walked away happy.
and then at 11:59 PM-
Ryo: “ reset. ”
- •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I vomited the entire contents of my stomach the moment I Reset… but I didn’t care.
Nijika: “Are you okay!?”
Nijika was here to make it all better.
Ryo: “let’s browse the stores.”
Nijika: “A-Are you sure? We can go home if you-“
Ryo: “it’s okay. let’s go.”
Nijika: “…”
we walked around the mall. I went to the record shop… she went to the home appliance store… we both walked away happy.
and then at 11:59 PM-
Ryo: “ reset. ”
- •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I began to cough up blood the moment I Reset… but I didn’t care.
Nijika: “Are you okay!?”
Nijika was here to make it all better.
Ryo: “let’s browse the stores.”
Nijika: “Y-You need to go to the hospital!”
Ryo: “it’s okay. let’s go.”
Nijika: “No, this is seriously an emergency.”
Ryo: “…after we browse the shops.”
Nijika: “…If you start coughing like that again, we leave immediately.”
Ryo: “okay.”
we walked around the mall. I went to the record shop… she went to the home appliance store… we both walked away happy.
and then at 11:59 PM-
Ryo: “ reset. ”
- •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Ryo: “Aah-“
the world must have realized that physical applications of punishment were no longer affecting me, so instead it attacked my mind and sent me into a panic attack. b-but… i-i… didn’t…
Nijika: “Are you okay!?”
Nijika was… Nijika was…
Ryo: “I can’t even… lie to myself correctly… I… I… I can’t do anything!!!”
Unable to deny reality any longer, I ran. I heard Nijika call out behind me, but I wasn’t listening. I just ran and ran and ran and ran. I couldn’t take this anymore… This burden… Humans trying to play God… No one should carry this…
Ryo: “Damn it! Damn it!! This is all because of that stupid Kagami!!”
If she’d left me alone, my suffering would’ve been over a long time ago…
Ryo: “And if Ikuyo didn’t give me that stupid card!!”
How could I ever recover after reading something like that…
Ryo: “And that stupid newscaster too!! A ‘member of Kessoku Band’ is dead!? You can’t even say a goddamn na-“
I stop in my tracks.
…
Wait.
“Because you need to save Nijika differently than all of us did. In a way that also handles the Distortion.”
“…Then, you’ll have to find the next Ryo.”
…
Ryo: “I was only able to see her… when I was about to…”
…
Ryo: “Ha… Haha… Hahaha…”
So, that’s it, huh? We don’t know how to deal with the Distortion, so we just trick it instead?
Ryo: “Damn, Kagami… you knew all along… what saving Nijika meant.”
A member of Kessoku Band, huh?
Ryo: “…I’ll play your game. As long as I save Nijika… I don’t give a damn.”
That’s when I realized… I was instinctively running in the direction of where I found Kagami. I just continued along the way until I reached it. That building… I began climbing the stairs until I reached the roof. The view from half a day ago, or a view from the future depending on how you look at it, awaited me.
I had to wait for the exact right moment. The news specifically mentioned the member being 18, meaning I need to jump so that I hit the ground the moment I turn 18. The grudge against Kessoku Band will be satisfied with me, and Nijika will get to live. It’s perfect.
…
Ryo: “…Damn it…”
This isn’t the future I wanted…
Ryo: “…Nijika…”
I wanted to be with you…
Ryo: “I’m sorry… I wasn’t strong enough…”
I can’t keep watching you die…
…
It’s time…
Ryo: “…!”
Taking a step off the building, I feel like I’m in slow motion. There’s a pit in my stomach. I don’t want this. I don’t want this at all!
B-But… it’ll save Nijika, so…
I try to resolve myself as I continue to fall…
Until… my phone makes a sound…
It’s not the usual Happy Birthday…
It’s the ringtone I have set for Nijika-
Ryo: “ RESET!!”
- •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Ryo: “HAAH HAAH HAAH HAAH HAAH-“
The world didn’t give me any extra punishments this time. Maybe it wanted to give me a break considering the stunt I just pulled.
I’m shaking like crazy. There’s no way I could ever do something that scary again. I don’t want to die. Even if it’s the only way to save her…
I can’t take this…
With my shaking body, I simply curl up into a ball and begin to sob.
Ryo: “I can’t… do this… I can’t stop the Distortion… I can’t save her… I can’t even sacrifice myself for her… I can’t… do anything… Hey… Someone… Anyone… What should I do!?”
…
Nijika: “…You can start by asking me for help.”
Ryo: “N-Nijika…”
I was too scared to move my head up, but I could tell she was standing right in front of me.
Nijika: “No matter what it is, I’ll always be there for you. So, rely on me! Who cares if you can’t do anything alone, you aren’t alone! You have me!”
Ryo: “B-But… You wouldn’t even believe me… and even if you did… you might hate me…”
Nijika: “…I won’t hate you. As long as you tell the truth. The whole truth.”
Ryo: “B-But-“
Nijika: “I can tell when you’re lying, remember?”
Ryo: “…”
Timidly, I raised my head to meet her gaze. The benignity of her eyes sent a warmth through my body that I never could have expected.
Ryo: “…O-Okay.”
Nijika: “Now… what say we head home?”
She reached out her hand towards me.
Ryo: “…Mm.”
I was hesitant, but I took it. And its warmth was no longer diluted by my own negative mind.
I wanted to leave… everything to Nijika…
It was a quiet walk home, but I simply enjoyed clinging onto her. Before long we arrived and we both sat down at the couch.
Ryo: “…This is your last chance. You might hate me… for what-“
Nijika: “Ryo.”
…She could tell I was stalling.
Ryo: “…What time is it?”
Nijika quickly pulled out her phone. It read 11:10 PM.
Ryo: “…In 50 minutes, you… are going to… die.”
Even when she told me she was prepared for the truth, I knew that would be the hardest part to swallow. I saw her eyes widen in shock, but she didn’t speak. Despite her no doubt numerous questions, she let me continue.
Ryo: “I’ve gone back… well, really Reset the world… um… I’ve lost track of how many times. I’ve gone back to try and save you so many times… There’s this thing. A Distortion, uh, a person with intensely negative unconscious desires that’s somehow causing you to die at 12:00 AM no matter what I do. Eventually, they cause the end of the world too… I tried to stop them… I did a lot of things I would never normally do… But I could never even find them… And then, I realized… I could trick the future by dying instead of you, but… I chickened out at the last minute… Now, I’m… too scared to go back. So… I don’t know what to do… I don’t know how to save you… I’m sorry…”
A silence once again brewed between us. Of course, I understood why… This was a lot to take in. And it probably sounds completely insane. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t even believe me.
Nijika: “...Ryo.”
Expecting a disappointed look at telling a dumb joke, I moved to make eye contact with her, but reality… was so much worse. I could tell from her eyes alone what she was going to say.
Ryo: “No.”
Nijika: “Ryo…”
Ryo: “I didn’t come back just to let you die!”
Nijika: “Some things… are just meant to happen.”
Ryo: “This isn’t one of them! It’s the Distortion that-”
Nijika: “You don’t know that for sure.”
Ryo: “E-Eh?”
Nijika: “You couldn’t find it… Maybe there is no Distortion. Maybe… this is just how the world wants it to happen.”
Ryo: “B-But that’s… How? How can you just accept your death like that?!”
The melancholy smile she gave me made me instantly regret saying that. She didn’t accept her death… Of course she didn’t… But, even in a moment like this, she’s still looking out for me first… Someone like her… I just can’t…
Ryo: “I-I can’t… I can’t accept this, Nijika… I… I…”
…
Ryo: “I love you… I don’t… want to exist in a world without you…”
Tears begin to well up in my eyes, and surprisingly I see tears on her face too.
Nijika: “...I love you too… That’s exactly why I can’t let you keep suffering like this.”
Ryo: “N-Nijika…”
Nijika: “You look like you’ve seen hell… When I think about the fact that I’m the one who did this to you… t-the person that I love… I can’t help but feel awful.”
Ryo: “N-No! None of this is your fault! I had a choice! A-And I chose to save you!”
Nijika: “...And now, I’m choosing to save you .”
Ryo: “ No !! I can’t… go back to that future… You don’t understand… I’m… I’m nothing without you, Nijika…”
Nijika: “...”
Ryo: “Even with the gift you gave me, and the card… You don’t get it… The suit is nothing without the dress… It needs its other half to shine…”
She already looked like she wanted to interject, but she held her tongue to let me finish.
Ryo: “...When I quit my last band… I had no idea where to go… I’d lost my passion for anything. I didn’t think anyone wanted my stupid brain… But, you… you said you loved how I played. I hung onto those words for so long… You’re the only reason I’m still here right now. You’re… everything to me… Please… I don’t want to go back to how I used to be…”
Nijika: “...You’re so much stronger than you realize.”
Giving me an unexpected response, Nijika wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I couldn’t stop the tears now…
Ryo: “Nijika…”
Nijika: “Even if I never found you… you would’ve found your footing again, You’re resilient, and you hate losing. You have the drive to keep going… Sometimes, you just need someone to fish it out of you.”
Ryo: “T-That someone is you …”
Nijika: “And I’d love to be that someone for as long as I can! But… your happiness extends far beyond me.”
Ryo: “...”
Nijika: “Your love of creating music you believe in. Your moments with Bocchi and Kita. Your alone time. Even without me, you can enjoy life.”
Ryo: “...”
Nijika: “A-And maybe in five… n-no, ten… a-actually, yeah, five years… you could… find someone else that you love.”
Ryo: “...Nijika…”
Nijika: “...Promise me. No more Resets.”
Ryo: “Niji-”
Nijika: “Promise me!”
Ryo: “...Nng… O-Okay…”
I don’t know how many more I can take anyways…
Nijika: “One more thing!”
Her hand petting my head right now feels like the only thing keeping me from falling apart, but I listen to her request anyway.
Nijika: “It’s okay if you don’t see it now, but… I want you to realize that you’re more than me.”
Ryo: “...”
Nijika: “...The suit was made first, you know.”
Ryo: “H-Huh?”
Nijika: “Ryo Yamada… is already an incredible girl on her own. Incredible enough… that I fell super hard for her.”
Ryo: “...”
How… How do those simple words… seem to light my path more than any others I’ve heard… The suit was made first…
Is it… really okay… for me to stand on my own…?
It seems… so hard…
Nijika: “I’ll be really sad if you don’t at least try .”
…
…I don’t want to make Nijika sad anymore.
Ryo: “...I-I’ll try.”
A truly serene smile was awarded to me as I felt my heart begin to beat again.
Nijika: “...N-Now, I don’t want to change the subject or anything, s-say whatever’s on your mind, b-but… we let a few things j-just casually slip out there.”
Ryo: “...Sorry. I ruined your confession.”
Nijika: “H-How did- O-Oh, right… future.”
Ryo: “Do you wanna… do it now?”
Nijika: “W-Well… Y-You already know how I feel…”
Ryo: “I… still want to hear it from you…”
As red begins to spread across her face, she checks her phone and resolves herself.
Nijika: “...Ahhhhh, jeez!! I don’t know how to do these kinds of things! You make my life crazy, but it’s the kind of crazy that I love. You’re so fun to be around, and your creativity is inspiring. Every time you start taking the band stuff really seriously, I’m seriously just awestruck. I love every single moment I spend with you, even when you drive me crazy. I love you, Ryo Yamada. And… Happy Birthday!”
…
I blink once. And then twice. T-That can’t…
Ryo: “W-What?”
Nijika: “E-Eh?? I-I made most of that up, s-so I can’t really repeat it.”
Ryo: “What did you say at the end?”
Nijika: “Happy Birthday!”
Ryo: “Aah- Aaaaaaah-”
Furiously whipping out my phone, I see that it’s-
Ryo: “12… 01…”
I look up to Nijika with tears in my eyes. She doesn’t seem to realize just how big of a deal this is.
Ryo: “Nijika… We made it past 12…”
Nijika: “Ah-”
The realization dawns on her as well, but instead of getting overly emotional, she simply gives me a big smile, no doubt because she can tell I’m becoming a mess.
Nijika: “See? Problems get a lot easier to solve when you talk them out with someone!”
Ryo: “Nijika… Nijika!!”
Instantly I begin crying way harder in her embrace.
Ryo: “I love you… I love you… I love you…”
Nijika: “Hehe, you don’t have to use all your Love bombs up. Looks like… I’ll be around to hear them a little longer.”
I just kept crying into her until… I fell asleep in her arms… They felt so warm… Warmer than I ever could have imagined…
——————————————————————————————————————————
In-between reality, Kagami watches on.
Kagami: “Ha… Hahaha… Wow.”
She can’t help but find this turn of events extremely ironic.
Kagami: “An infinite number of Ryos… and only one of us could figure out that we were the Distortion… Our over-reliance on Nijika… The fact that we hated ourselves for being nothing without her… None of us ever thought about the negative emotions we’d attached to her. Though I suppose… you didn’t either. You were just the only one… who talked to her.”
Kagami gave a genuine smile.
Kagami: “...Good job, Ryo. Enjoy your life with Nijika to the fullest.”
And with that… the world acted as if the being known as Kagami never existed at all…
——————————————————————————————————————————
Ryo: “Mmgh-”
Waking up, I realize I’m in an empty futon, but my memories of yesterday are hazy at best.
Ryo: “Nijikaaaaaa?”
Nijika: “Making breakfast, sleepyhead!!!”
I hear her call out from the kitchen. For some reason, I’m filled with the urge to see her. I make my way to her as fast as possible, not even bothering to change out of my pajamas. She can hear my footsteps as I get closer.
Nijika: “Goood morning, Ms. Birthday Girl! Ah-”
I wrap myself around her, careful not to obstruct her arms.
Nijika: “J-Jeeeeeez… Someone’s needy for their birthday.”
Ryo: “It’s okay, right?”
Nijika: “Y-Yeah. I told you I’d let you know if I didn’t like something.”
Ryo: “...What happened last night?”
Nijika: “E-Eh?! Y-You don’t remember my passionate confession?!”
Ryo: “I remember that part… But after that…”
Nijika: “You said… you felt the same… a-and then we k-k-k-k-k… y-you know…”
Ryo: “...?”
Nijika: “C-Come on, stop teasing me! You know what I mean!”
…
Ryo: “Oh.”
Nijika: “MM-”
I stole her lips in an instant. It was short, but the warmth of her lips lingered on mine even when I pulled away.
Ryo: “That?”
Nijika: “...Y-Y-You…”
Ryo: “...?”
Nijika: “Yes, that !”
Ryo: “...Did I do something wrong?”
Nijika: “...Haah, you just don’t get how to be romantic.”
Ryo: “O-Oh… Sorry.”
Nijika: “...Well… I-I like your way of doing things too.”
Ryo: “Ah… Nijika. I love you.”
Nijika: “I-I love you too. N-Now go sit down, I have your present ready. You can open it before we eat.”
I do as I’m told and sit on the couch. I guess we’re not eating at the table. I kinda thought Nijika would be more strict about that kind of thing. Before long, Nijika brought over our food.
Nijika: “…O-Okay! Open it!”
Ryo: “Mm.”
The wrapping was covered in a little duck character that Nijika loved. For some reason, seeing it today made me really happy. Maybe I’ll buy her some of this little guy’s merch for her birthday… if she doesn’t already own all of it, I guess.
Nijika: “You can rip it open, you know.”
Ryo: “O-Oh…”
As she pointed out, I was very carefully tearing certain parts of the wrapping, but at her suggestion I ripped it open and saw-
Ryo: “This is…”
Nijika: “Mm-hm! The suit you were so enamored by! O-Oh, but read my card first!”
Following her suggestion, I opened the card and found a bright lover’s birthday card. The message from the card wasn’t anything special, but her handwritten one…
Ryo: “Nijika…”
Nijika: “Hehe, I know it’s a weird way to ask, but it works for us doesn’t it?”
For some reason, tears began to flow from my eyes. This was an emotional moment, but not that emotional.
Nijika: “A-Are you okay!?”
Ryo: “Y-Yeah… I don’t know why I’m crying…”
Nijika: “…Maybe I’m just that good at sappy messages.”
Ryo: “Maybe.”
Nijika: “S-So…”
Ryo: “…?”
Nijika: “T-The birthday date! Y/N!?”
Ryo: “Oh. Y, of course. I thought that was obvious.”
Nijika: “Y-You… I still want to hear you say it…”
Ryo: “…Nijika, I want to go on a birthday date with you.”
Nijika: “…O-Okay!”
I’d somehow turned her bright red with that simple sentence alone.
Ryo: “Oh, but you did get one thing wrong.”
Nijika: “E-Eh?”
Ryo: “It wasn’t the suit that was making me look so happy. I was imagining… you in the dress and me in the suit… sharing a dance together.”
Nijika: “R-Ryo…”
Ryo: “So… if you really want to make my wish come true… will you give me this dance?”
Nijika: “R-Right now!? I-I haven’t practiced in forever and-“
Ryo: “I don’t even know how to dance. Let’s just have fun.”
Nijika: “…Jeez, our food’s gonna get cold.”
Ryo: “You have a microwave.”
To my surprise, that earned me a Nijika Death Glare… I guess that was insulting to her chef’s pride…
Before long, we’d both changed into our respective outfits. Nijika had even done her hair up. I was taken aback by how beautiful she was.
Nijika: “W-Well… do I look as good as you imagined?”
Ryo: “…No.”
Nijika: “HUH-“
Ryo: “I-I think you look… better.”
Nijika: “…Jeeeeeeez, don’t start a sentence like that with ‘no’, dummy dummy dummy!!”
She lightly punched me with every dummy remark.
Ryo: “…My bad.”
Nijika: “…You look pretty dashing yourself, in case you were wondering.”
Ryo: “Heh.”
Nijika: “Now… Wanna dance?”
Ryo: “Yeah.”
Taking her hand, she guided me in the basics of dancing with someone. It was basically just a set pattern of movements, so I only messed up a few times… Okay, that’s a lie, I messed up a lot, but she would giggle and move on, and that was cute to me. Eventually, when her head was resting on my shoulder, she whispered to me.
Nijika: “…Did you think about what I said last night?”
…My memories of last night were still pretty hazy.
Ryo: “R-Remind me…?”
Nijika: “…That you’re more than me. One of my ground rules for our relationship is that we both acknowledge that we can be happy as our own people, hopefully made happier by being together.”
Ryo: “…I remember now.”
Nijika: “S-So…?”
Ryo: “…I’m more than my love for you. I can be happy… even if I’m alone.”
Nijika breathed a sigh of relief and gave me a gentle smile.
Ryo: “But… it’s exactly because I know that… that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can be happy… so I want to be happy with you .”
Nijika: “Y-You… You have a lot of nerve dropping a marriage proposal-esque line like that on your birthday… A-Am I supposed to say no to a birthday girl???”
Ryo: “…Do you want to say no?”
Nijika: “…Of course not, dummy. I-I already said you could mooch off of me forever…”
Ryo: “Nijika…”
Nijika: “…But let me enjoy being a girlfriend for a little while first, sheesh!”
Ryo: “…Sorry.”
Nijika: “It’s okay! You already know this, but spending time with you makes me crazy happy too. I wanna keep doing it!”
Ryo: “I’m glad…”
Eventually ending our dance, Nijika runs in front of me dramatically, like she always seems to like doing.
Nijika: “Now then, birthday girl! You’ve got a band and a girlfriend waiting for you today. Are you ready for the best 18th birthday ever??”
Ryo: “Mm. Lead the way, Nijika. I won’t let go of your hand.”
Nijika: “Hehe, then let’s go!!”
Hand-in-hand, we leave to go meet up with Bocchi and Kita…
That’s right… this isn’t a day of tragedy…
This is a day of hope… for our long future together~