Chapter Text
It was dark, so so dark. I felt my blood leaving me, I felt so hollow. I was forced to be a shell of myself. My mother strapped me down, forced me from my home, from my friends, and was now taking away my last little bit of humanity. Everything burns, my skin, my hair, my veins, I can't escape it. She won't let me go. I don't want this, I just want to be a teifling, I don't want to be stronger, or to overtake my brother, Mother please!
It was cold, or, it was colder than before. The stone table below me turned to a bed so soft I could barely feel it. I felt like I was falling, like there was nothing below me, I had no support.
"Umiku, stay still. You don't want to fall out of bed."
I know that voice. I looked at the woman attending me, she was much older than when I had last saw her. It's only been a week and yet her skin held wrinkles I didn't notice before, her once gorgeous dark brown hair turning grey, a now glossy eye was surrounded with a healed scar. I couldn't tell if it was a burn or something else.
"I must admit, I was truly surprised when I heard of your return to your kingdom. I was starting to think you would never come visit us, Umiku," a small laugh followed and told me she wasn't meaning to be rude. Even then I couldn't help the annoyed tone of my voice,
"Oh, trust me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to."
She just reached down to lay a hand on my forehead and carefully brush a stand of hair out of my eyes.
"You're fever seems to have gone down, and you fangs seem to have come in nicely," she paused to look me over before adding, "you were only out for a couple days, meaning up top you'd only have been out a half hour at most, Umiku," she said that like she knew what I was thinking, because of course she knew, everyone seems to know what I'm thinking, what I want, and what I need. I'm incapable of making my own choices, of taking care of myself. I had to join the crew on their adventure, I had to become a succubus, I had to be a princess. No, not a princess, mother nearly took off my head when I called myself that, "Princesses are weak and useless," she looked me up and down, I knew what she meant even if she didn't say it out loud, "It doesn't give you the respect I deserve, you will call yourself the prince. You will rule how I tell you to, do what I say, and maybe then the kingdom will be able to over look your... less desirable attributes," the maids looked at me with pity as I was being scolded, and now Emeralde was doing the same.
"Umiku," she had called me that when we first met, telling me she knew prince was typically used for men in Spyre and wanted to make me feel more comfortable in my title, "is everything alright? I didn't mean to upset you," Pity. It was all I could see in her eyes. I had to swat away her hand to keep her from drying my face, preferring to do it myself.
"Didn't mean to upset me? I just woke up and you are already going on about 'my kingdom'! I don't even get one moment of peace with you," I couldn't stop myself, she was being so selfish, they all were, "Haven't I given enough? I gave my WHOLE LIFE. I was never trained like Neptune. I was never told what was happening. My mother *locked me in a cage and bloodlet me* until I wasn't a teifling anymore. I lost *everything*"
I stood to try and leave, but of course I couldn't even storm out of the room before everything went blurry and I fell. Emeralde followed suit, dropping to a knee and offering me a hand up, "I didn't know that, Umiku. I am truly sorry," she bent over ensuring she was eye level with me, doing everything she could to make me think she didn't look down on me. I hated it, atleast my mother was honest in her hatred of me. Emeralde put up a facade of respect that makes me want to snap, "Will you stop that! I am not so weak that I need you to wait on me. I can get myself up, and stop calling me that! I never asked for that title. I never asked for any of it. I can't, I can't rule a kingdom. I just," the floor felt like it was slipping out from under me, forcing me closer to the ground. I heard Emeralde sigh clearly annoyed with my antics. I was quite proud to finally get under her skin, but when I felt arms lifting me to my feet and looked in her eyes my heart sank. She wasn't looking at my with pity, not like how the maids were. I wasn't some helpless little girl to her. It was the same look she had when talking about her own daughter, she looked almost proud. It made my skin crawl, and I felt dizzy.
"Then tell me you don't want you title, Princess. Make an official decree and I will ensure you are no longer our umiku. You won't have to do anything else, Lady Adolina," it couldn't be that easy, and she had a small smile. She had to be messing with me. She thinks I'm to stupid to notice... but her eyes, that looked pride was still there. Why was she proud? Was I seeing things? I was yelling at her, and she's proud of me. I was telling her I couldn't rule the kingdom, and she didn't get upset. Mother voice echoed in my ears 'stupid waste of time, do you know how much effort it took, how much I gave up to get you here'
"I don't want my title. I don't want this, I want my life back. But I can't get that back. I don't know what to do. Emeralde... what do I do?" She was right there to catch me before I could fall again.
"Just do that, Adolina. Be honest, tell me what you want, and we will make it happen. We are so proud of you, Adolina. You have done more than enough for the kingdom, Princess. Just tell me what you need, and I will make it happen. It will be okay, Adolina. I promise you, everything will be okay. No one is going to be upset with you for giving up your title, Lady Adolina."
It felt like a stake in my heart, one final blow that made me weep like a baby. Made only worse by Emeralde holding me. Offering to be my support as I clung to her. The room filled with my sobs and her promises to make everything alright, and for once I believed it. I wasn't a princess anymore, but I was going to be fine.