Chapter Text
The trip from Kowak back to Nevarro was a few days' journey, even while on the hyperlane. It had definitely given you and Mando plenty of time to process the events of the last week together. The only thing that had gone without being discussed was your growing feelings for each other. It was something you both had tiptoed around, each waiting for the right time that hadn't come.
Hyperspace, even with two small babies, was calm, especially in the evening. The lights on the Crest dimmed a while ago, signaling the end of the day to her occupants.
You and Mando had put your children down for the night a while ago after many kisses and bedtime stories. Now that it was quiet, you knew you had to address the something that had been trying to claw its way out of your chest since you shut the lights off in your room. The thought of Mando leaving you to fend for yourself hadn't occurred to you for over a year, yet you were convinced that he was going to do just that. He got what he wanted, saved his son, helped you more than once...
No, Mando would never leave you.
That was ridiculous, you knew he would never think about leaving you, but that nagging voice could be so loud at times. Better to shut it down now.
Mando was sitting in the pilot's chair, his back to you as he fiddled with an old blaster and an oiled rag. He hadn't spoken for a while, as was his usual, but tonight it made you anxious. With a small sigh, he tossed the rag into a toolbox on the floor beside him and set the blaster on the dash.
You looked down at your hands twisting around each other in your lap. The skin around your nails was finally starting to clear of the scabs and scars as you hadn't bitten and picked at your fingers until there was nothing left for quite a while. The nightmares were getting fewer and farther between, but you doubted they would go away for good.
Mando finally turned the chair around to face you. He had both hands resting on his thighs, fingers tapping a steady beat along the inner seams of his pants, and you found yourself staring for perhaps a moment longer than you should have.
"Do you want--"
"Can we talk?" You both spoke at the same time, each wanting desperately to fill the silence.
"I have to tell you something, and you need to listen to me." Despite your anxiety, you were surprised at how assertive you sounded. Something that would have been such a monumental effort even a year ago now came as naturally as the words themselves.
Mando straightened up, attentively waiting for you to continue, and nodded once. He gestured for you to continue as he leaned back in the pilot's seat.
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes to steady your nerves. When you continued, you hardly recognized the sound of your own voice. There was no shakiness, no fear, just a confidence you had only just begun to feel.
"I don't want to leave," you began. "I can't. No, I won't. I finally feel safe again, and my daughter is safe. I spent too many years being afraid of my family, and then of my husband. Too many years wishing I was anywhere else in the galaxy but in his bed every night. When I found out I was pregnant, I... Maker, I don't even want to tell you what I thought, what I hoped for."
At your admission, you glanced at him, guilt evident on your face, and tugged your bottom lip between your teeth. Of course he knew that whatever you thought, whatever you did before you fled, you did so for your survival.
"The day I left, I knew I would be found eventually. I didn't take anything with me. I had a few credits, but I knew it wouldn't last that long. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew I wouldn't go back there. But I think that was the first time I knew exactly what I wanted. I knew that no matter what happened, I wouldn't let him have me again, and he would never, ever get his hands on my baby."
Mando leaned in towards you, intrigued by what you had to say. He rested his elbows on his knees and silently urged you to continue.
You took another deep breath and leaned forward, closing the slight gap between you and him in the cockpit. Keep going.
"And then you showed up. And you were kind - probably kinder than anyone else I met in a long time. You had every opportunity to take me back there and not ask questions like you were supposed to. But you didn't. It's taken me this long to say it out loud, but I don't want you to leave us somewhere, even if you think it's safer."
You looked down at your lap again, not wanting him to look him in the eye as you gave him your whole heart. "I understand you have your creed, and I understand that I might not be able to be a part of it, but I think I... Mando, I think that I'm in love with you."
Mando moved in a flurry of silver beskar. He was so quick, you could barely register what was happening or what you just said to him until he was on his knees in front of you.
"I'm sorry," you said quickly, the involuntary apology coming out before you could even stop it. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said--"
"Say it again," be whispered, gentle hands wrapped around your wrists. His visor was locked onto you, the eye contact unavoidable at the close proximity as he waited for you to repeat it. "Please."
"I love you," you repeated. "I love you."
Mando surged forward and wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. He pressed his forehead against yours, one of his large hands cupping the back of your head to hold you close.
"Again," he nearly begged you as he lifted his head to face you again.
The Crest's ramp slowly descended to the dusty floor of the hangar on Nevarro. Bright sunlight flooded the hold and bathed the four of you in its warmth.
Mando put one hand on your back to help you down the ramp, his touch light enough to be passed off as an accident, but you felt your cheeks burn at the contact.
You shielded Trin's eyes from the bright sunlight and swayed with her in the shade while Mando bartered the price of docking his ship with the owner. A breeze lifted her fine little baby hairs from her forehead and she giggled at the feeling and your heart soared.
"Karga wants to meet with me," Mando said as he approached you both. "I'm sure he won't mind if you tag along."
"He's never minded before," you said with a chuckle. "He's probably more excited to see the children than he is to see either of us."
Mando nodded. "That's because they're always more happy to see him than we are."
He walked ahead of you towards the cantina, almost as if clearing a path for you. For his family.
You looked down at Trin in your arms as she gestured with a chubby fist at the new things she could see on the short walk to the cantina. She was so curious about her surroundings, and you felt so lucky to be able to see the galaxy through her eyes. Never once did you think that this would be your life, but you didn't know if you would want it another way. This felt right. Your daughter, your Mando, your family.
You wanted to be able to talk to Mando fully about what had happened on Kowak. He would eventually have to tell his own Alor about the other covert, if Paz hadn't already.
The thought of the brief kiss that you and Mando had shared still made heat rise to your cheeks, and your mind would wander when you thought about it. And of your confession while you were still in hyperspace. The desperation in his voice as he almost demanded you to repeat it...
Mando stepped aside at the door of the cantina and let you in first. His gaze lingered on you as you stepped over the threshold.
"There's my favorite bounty hunter!" Karga boomed from a booth in the corner. The other patrons of the cantina turned to stare at you, but their faces held no fear. He waved and stood up to greet you both, you with a warm embrace, and Mando with a firm handshake.
Once seated, Karga handed Mando a few pucks to let him sort through until he found the ones he wanted, and held his arms out expectantly for Trin and Grogu. Both children were happy for a chance to sit with him, and they burst into excited giggles when he presented a small toy that blew pink and orange bubbles from one of the pockets of his robes.
"These ones will do," Mando said softly after a few minutes. He kept four of the pucks and slid the others back across the table.
"I haven't seen you in a while," Karga said as he bounced Trin on his knee. "I didn't think the bounties you selected last time would be that difficult for you."
"Some other matters came up in the meantime," Mando explained after he put the pucks in his bag. "Personal matters."
Even you saw the subtle change in Karga's expression at Mando's words. A slight widening of the eyes, a raise of one brow, the flick of his eyes between the two of you.
"Well," he chuckled, "It's none of my business, but if you want to take some time off for these personal matters, you know where to find me."
"We're fine," Mando said, though his voice held no anger or upset. "Will you watch the children for a bit while we pick up some supplies this afternoon?"
"Of course, Mando! I'm always happy to do you a good turn," Karga said with a wide smile, "We've built a new school here in the city, you know! I'm sure your little ones will enjoy themselves for the day!"
"Thank you," Mando said with a nod of his head. "That would work perfectly."
He put his bag over his shoulder and slid out of the booth. He held out a hand to you and picked up Trin and held her in his arms while you took Grogu from Karga.
"Mando, a quick word before you go?" he asked as he stood up. He put a hand on your shoulder and smiled warmly as he led you outside. "We'll just be a moment. I won't steal him away from you this time."
"I'll just be right in the market," you called to Mando, returning Karga's smile. You took Grogu out into the marketplace, leaving Trin with Mando. The stalls were all overflowing with produce from the local farms and orchards, and bright textiles from merchants. The child in your arms cooed and pointed to a stack of blankets and rugs in a nearby booth. You brought him closer so he could see and feel them.
"Feel how soft!" you crooned, setting him against your hip so he could touch them.
When he smiled and rubbed his face against one of the brightly colored blankets, you felt your heart soar. Grogu looked back at you and his ears twitched as you gently touched the top of his head.
"What do you think, big guy? Which one should we get?"
He looked over them for a few moments, pondering the decision. After a moment, he clenched a little corner of a blue blanket in his tiny fist and held it up.
"That one's perfect!" you said with a grin as you moved the few on top so you wouldn't mess up the display. "You think your dad's gonna like this one?"
"It looks good to me," Mando replied from your other side. He unconsciously placed his hand against the small of your back and leaned in to rub one of Grogu's ears. "Great choice, buddy."
"Where's Trin?" you asked after a beat, quickly turning to face him. Your heart beat rose quickly in your chest and you stopped for a moment, panicked, to stare at him before you burst into laughter.
Trin was hanging from Mando's chest, facing outward in the birikad you had been gifted. She grinned at you with all five of her little teeth, face shiny with drool.
Mando pulled his hands away and placed them both on his hips. "What?" he asked, a grin evident in his voice. "It's too much, right?"
"No, no," you said with a laugh, "It looks good on you. You're a natural at being a dad... it's a good look for you."
Mando chuckled and placed his hand against your back and nodded at Grogu. "I've been lugging this one around long enough. It should look natural by now."
"Did you finish up with Karga?" you asked after you finished paying for your newest addition to your ever growing blanket collection.
"Yeah," he replied. "He just wanted to ask me a few questions. About those new bounties, you know? Are you ready to get our supplies? The school should be right over here."
You eyed him with suspicion for a moment as he avoided the question. But you knew him enough to know not to push it. If it was important, you knew he would share it with you later. If he didn't tell you, well, it didn't really matter then, right?
"Yeah, I'm ready," you said, following him to the little schoolhouse a few streets over.
A few hours later, you and Mando were working together, stacking the last of the supply crates in the hold. The few droids that had helped to bring the crates aboard had been gone for an hour or so, leaving more work for both of your sore bodies. The warm sunlight was still bright outside, but beginning its descent behind the scaffolding of some taller buildings that were being constructed in town.
You put your entire body weight into pulling the straps down to secure a crate, grunting and swearing the whole time. Of course you insisted that you'd gotten it plenty tight enough, but when Mando checked it, he still tightened it further.
"Like a baby rancor," Mando chuckled as he squeezed your upper arm to feel the muscles. He turned to face you and slid his hand up from your arm to your shoulder. There was a slight hesitation when stopped, almost like he wanted to move it up further. "Me'suumika..."
You looked up at him briefly and then looked away, not wanting him to see how nervous you looked at the close proximity. Or how sweaty you were from stacking crates.
"Look at me," he said quietly, guiding your head back up with his thumb and index finger under your chin. He said nothing for a few moments as he scanned your face. After a beat, he spoke quietly, just audible above the drone of insects in the nearby trees. "I've been thinking about... you know. About all of this."
The look on your face must have been one of pure terror, because Mando shook his head and gave your shoulder a squeeze to ease your racing heart.
"About bounty hunting," he continued with a soft chuckle, slightly assuaging your fears. "Back when it was just me going out on my own, it didn't really matter what happened out there. Then came Grogu, and I tried to be more careful so he wouldn't get hurt."
You bit your lip and nodded, urging him to continue. Whatever he had to say, you were glued to every word.
"And then I found you, and I got thrown for a loop with everything. Almost gave up bounty hunting entirely. To be honest, I was terrified the whole time. I can't imagine how you weren't clawing at the walls. But then you had your daughter. And she's... well, Grogu can at least fend for himself. But her..." he trailed off as he looked at you, bathed in the amber glow of the Crest's hold lights. "I know what you're going to say, but I think it's getting to be too dangerous with the three of you around."
All the blood rushed from your face. He was going to leave you here. Or Sorgan. Every fear you thought you had about losing him that you had managed to push away suddenly slammed into you and you skipped a breath.
"Me'suumika, look at me, it's okay, I promise that I will never leave you," he soothed, reaching for you again. He stroked your arms with his thumbs and kept his visor trained on you. Once he knew you were calm again, he continued. "I just want to keep you all safe when -- if things get bad, so I was wondering what your thoughts would be on buying a small farm right outside of town? Just for us. You'll still come with me, and I'll... I'll be at the house with you. It's just a small house we can settle do-- that we can go between jobs."
You blinked owlishly at him. A house. Mando wanted to get a house. For you. For all of you. He wanted you to stay and live with him...
"Mando," you replied, not caring that your voice cracked. You covered your mouth with trembling hands and let out a small squeak. Tears welled up in your eyes and you nodded excitedly. "I... yes! Yes, I would love that!"
He seemed to visibly relax at your acceptance and he squeezed both of your shoulders tightly. "Good! I'm so relieved," he said with a chuckle. He sounded like he had run a marathon, high on endorphins at the prize of your acceptance. "Karga told me about it this afternoon, and I didn't know when to bring it up, or if you'd even say yes."
You hugged him tightly around the waist, face pressed against the cold metal plate of his armor. "Of course I would say yes! Why would you think I wouldn't? I just -- Stars, Mando! Thank you so much!"
He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him. He chuckled when you squealed a little as he lifted you off the ground a few inches and spun around with you.
"Thank you," he whispered, pressing his helmet against your temple.
Six weeks and four bounties later, you were sweeping the barely furnished front room of your little cottage on the edge of town. The few items inside the house were already there when Karga handed you and Mando the keys a week prior. A few chairs, a table, some shelves. The rest of your belongings were still on the Crest, yet to be trekked over. You swept all the dirt towards the front door, humming softly to yourself.
"Looks good in here," Mando called from the back of the house. He slowly wandered into the front room, hands on his hips as he looked over your shoulder.
"Take it all in," you said with a huff, leaning against the broom. "Don't get used to this being clean. There's two kids that live here now, and I hate sweeping."
Mando laughed and nodded. "I'm not worried about that. I'm not trying to impress anyone."
You smiled and set the broom against the hearth. "You could always try it, you know."
He stopped in his tracks and turned to you. "Maybe we'll get a little droid to help keep things tidy."
"Don't you back out of your chores, Mando," you scolded him with a grin. "Everyone has to pitch in around here."
"I'm sure I can find another way to make myself useful," he chuckled. "Fix something, maybe? Build a chair?"
You walked over to him and took his hand. His fingers were bare and warm in yours as you gave his hand a squeeze. "Cook dinner," you suggested with a smile. "Pick the kids up from school?"
"I need to learn how to cook something other than meal packs first," he admitted sheepishly.
"I'll help you," you promised.
"Yeah?" Mando shuffled closer to you and brought his free hand to your face. He brushed away some speck of dust on your cheek and held his hand there.
You nodded and smiled as the warmth from his hand soaked into your skin. "Of course. Always."
The two of you stood like that for a moment, each taking in the closeness of the other in your bare living room. The house around you promised a safe haven for you and your family, a small retreat from the dangers of space whenever it was needed.
It was all you ever wanted.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly, thumb stroking over your cheekbone.
"How happy I am," you murmured.
"Good."
After another moment, you looked up at him and smiled. You brushed your hand over his visor, stopping for a beat over where his mouth was.
"We should go get the little ones," you suggested.
"Yeah." Mando let you go, hesitantly letting your hand slide from his. "Hopefully Grogu was better today than he was last week."
"I talked to that kid's mom yesterday, he's still got all of his fingers," you replied quickly, coming to the defense of your almost son. That kid had it coming anyway.
He chuckled and handed you your poncho. "Minus one or two knuckles."
You nodded and pulled it around your shoulders and secured it around your waist with a rope. "Yeah, she might have mentioned something about that. I couldn't really understand her past all the shouting."
You walked to the front door and pulled it open. It was a bright, sunny day, cooled from the rare morning rain. A quick glance behind you showed Mando had not moved an inch since he let you go. His visor was centered on you, and you felt the intensity of his gaze even from behind beskar.
"Coming, Mando?"
"My name is Din," he said quietly. He sounded like all the air had been punched from his lungs. Small, open, vulnerable. For once in perhaps years, he had spoken his name to another person.
You turned to face him completely, eyes wide with disbelief. Had he just given you his name? Your Mando finally gave you his name.
"Din."
He nodded. "Yes. Din Djarin."
Your Mandalorian had a name after all, it seemed. The most perfect name.
"Din Djarin," you murmured, letting the door swing closed behind you. You walked over to him again and touched his cheek again. "Din."
He leaned into your touch and nodded. "I haven't told anyone my name in many years. I wanted you to know it."
"Thank you," you said softly. "I know how much this means to you. How important that is. And I know what the creed means, and I don't want you to ever feel pressured to do something you don't want to do."
"The creed is important to me," he said with a shake of his head. "But so are you." Din pressed his forehead to yours and wrapped his arms around your waist.
You hugged him back and smiled against his chest plate. If there was ever a better place to be, you hadn't found it. But you were pretty sure it didn't exist.
"I love you," he whispered.