Chapter Text
Day 3
It was the day to bury his body and somehow you manage to sleep there right next to him. The person who found you was Hange, she didn't comment that you look worst with your unruly messy hair or your red puffy eyes or your dishevelled attire. She just tells you that Erwin is in one of the extra rooms for clothes you thanked her while she leads you there. You are left alone with Erwin, you told him that you finished reading the letters as your tears started to fall.
“Don't cry. Levi don’t want you to cry. Remember how he will try to stop those tears before they fall” he tells me as you started to remember.
“Yea, I remember.” then silence “Did he really love me back then. During our time in college” You asked.
“Yes, he really did and whenever he come by without you he get all chatty about you and then starts to worry whenever you are late” Erwin tells you.
“But ever since you start dating I could see that he was hurt but all he wanted is for you to be happy so whenever you are happy he was too. But whenever you start hanging and spending more time with your boyfriend back then Levi started to put up walls after walls”
He looks at me and said “but whenever you are around him he looks so carefree and I could see that he really does love and cares about you”
You are crying again and the pain in your chest is choking you. Drowning you so much that it hurts. Erwin is hugging you as he kept silent.
A few hours pass and you both need to go to attend a funeral. You change your clothes and Erwin offers you a tight smile. You just nod but you cant smile because all the hope in you is gone. You put flowers in his coffin as it lower into the ground. All wish goodbyes and went to live there own live while here you stand in the pouring rain question yourself as you try to find the answers now. You didn't realise it was Hange who offered the umbrella and moving into the direction of her car.
You didn't notice anything until she pull up the pavement but the house in front of you is unfamiliar. You both got out of the car and you observe the place it simple and modern. In the front there is a lawn it is neat and surrounded by red roses along with white roses. Which happens to be your favourite.
There is one section in the garden where there is a willow tree and underneath it was black roses circling it. And you know that is was Levi’s favourite.You smiled at the thought.
“Eren this is Levi’s home. It is now yours.” Hange said You trun to look at her and the house with big eyes “What?”
"Most of the inheritance in Levi's possessions are divided among us Eren. It is said in his will" Hange explain it to you but all in a sad tone.
"But most of it belongs to you now and that what Levi always wanted"
"What? I really appreciated that Levi still thinks about us but I still don't get it" You said
"But Eren I know that this is a lot to take in but you know how Levi is I mean was and I want you to respect his last wishes. If not for him at least to us"
"Us? who is Us?" You asked
"Erwin and I, We both agree that it what Levi would want especially when it concerns about you." She still goes on. "I know Levi Loves you. He loves you so much that we both saw how much he is hurt whenever you are not there. It like pieces of his heart is leaving trials to his lonely soul"
"I......I...I can't explain I can't I just.....Please don't" you try to hold yourself at what you are left. "I need I want....." you left word word hanging not knowing at what you want for things but you know you can't.
Hange give you a warm hug. "I know Eren I know how you feel. you feel so lost right now. I can't say that everything tis going to be okay but at least try something. like accepting what Levi had given to you".
"okay" You choke out. "Okay i will".
Hange gives you a small smile " So lets go inside. You know this would be your first time in his house".
“Yea….I know but it is also sad to think that i am visiting to his place at this time” You state.
“Lets go inside I know you will love it” Hange said.
As you walk towards the house you took notice at the surrounding. Levi’s place have a nice view toward the sea and only that the place looks a bit secluded and free from wailing children and the yelling mothers.
As you reached the front door you notice a nameplate and it wrote “Magnolia”.
“Magnolia as in the flower or a name say Hange tell me” you asked
“The flower Eren, recently he had been obsess with them come you should see the backyard”.
You set foot at his house for the first time. Shaking yourself to get a grip and as got in you could feel the warm and comfort and it puts a smile at your face. You look at Hange and you see that she is also smiling. She took a glance at you and saw you smiling.
“Its nothing much even though it is fancy for my taste but its home”. She said
“Yea.” You said while a smile a small one but it is a contentment and peaceful one is forming as you said those words.
Hange took you a tour around the house to say you are impressed and loving it even more. Its like your dream house and you couldn't keep your eyes still as you keep glancing from the sofa to the lights, then to the windows which in fact have an awesome view then you wander to the dinning room and then to the kitchen then goes to the living room then you see photos by the mantelpiece and as you went to observe the pictures consist of college photos.
There is one photo that caught your eyes. There is you and him smiling like crazy in formal's.
He is wearing a suit but instead of a tie he wore his white cravat. The only white clothing in this picture where everything is black. Even his shirt but he look so handsome in here compared to you. You were wearing a beige suit, white shirt and a forest green tie.
You remember this. It was a dinner celebrating the day that both of you passed your third year in college. Both of you were happy that you both passed with good marks so you decided to go out. You thought that maybe go both should go to a fast food then come back to the dorm not expecting a full blown dinner like making reservations and eating expensive as shit food plus drinking wine like those in romance novels. But damn you were enjoying it and so was he.
But you cant drink much because you don't want to get drunk in alcohol but Levi drank most of it and not losing his cool but he was a bit tipsy. Laughing and smiling and giggling at the silliest things. It was the most fun memory after the whole ordeal with these past few days events.
You put back the picture and glance through the rest. There a few of them like one of them is with Erwin and Hange in front of a building with Levi in the middle and scowling and both to each by his side. The others are college photos in groups none are solo but there is one that caught your eyes. Its you sleeping. Huh! you don't remember that.
“Levi you sneaking little ass”.
“If he hears you saying that he will scrub your mouth with soap”. Hange said at the entrance.
“I know but i didn't know when he took this”. You explain to Hange
“I think its before graduation if i remember. I accidentally saw the photo in his laptop one day and i kept asking when did took it. He just say graduation that it.” Hange tells you
“Come lets go up” Hange bounce to you and grab your arm dragging you.
“So what do you think?” She asked
“I think i like it. It is so Levi. It is clean with no dirt around” You said
“Hmm” she agrees with you
She lead to to all the rooms and finally you both stop in front the last room.
“This is the master bedroom or should I say his room” Hange said
Suddendly your heart is in your throat and sweats start to form in your palms of your hand.
Hange is looking at you expecting you to make the final decision. You slowly lift up your hand at the doorknob then twist it open.
At first you notice that the walls are deep blue blended with steel grey that almost resemble his eyes. Then your eyes landed at the master bed located in the middle which have emerald green bed covers and pillows, his work desk is in the far right conner which have bits of paper stack in one place. He have a walk in closet and adjoining bathroom which is so clean.
You are not surprise if the place starts to smell like bleach.What really caught your eyes was the view for the balcony. You went straight and open the sliding doors and took a deep breath or more likely stop breathing. The view from his room is spectacular and in a conner there was a table and two chairs.
You went and sit and Hange came and sit the other. You both were silent enjoying the view that the world has to offer.
“This was his spot” Hange declared “This and his garden.”
“He kept a garden.” You asked
“yea, didn't I tell you about it.”Hange look at you confused then it drawn to you at the earlier conversation.
“Oh! I remember it now. Can we go look at it now”.
“Sure, come”. She pulls you from your seat taking you to the back then your breath once again catches your throat because the sight you see it is something. It beautiful it is like another world you never see.
" This.......is....…..it’s……” You can't even get the words out of your mouth.
“It is something alright. He spends here tending it and now just look how beautiful it is.” Hange says
“Yes it is” You say but words cant describe the feelings right now. A small breeze came by and somehow you could hear his voice saying
“Welcome home.”
A flash of memories came in your head seeing him so happy, content.
“Hange I think I have decide to stay here. I think I have finally found home.” you said
You went back with Hange, back to your lover house. A few days later you rarely came back to your lover house you spend your time in Levi’s NO your home.
So a few weeks pass by till the guilt is eating you away.
One time your lover caught you leaving in the late evening asking you where you are going you just replied “somewhere” you didn't even give him a chance to ask more questions and you didn't even try to explain to him.
Some days you never stay in your lover place. You keep on doing this for 3 months and one day you pack your belongings and waited for him to come.
You decided to tell him the truth and asking forgiveness to the thing you are about going to do.
Its 4:30 he arrives with the children you tell him that you both need to talk you both send the children upstairs and you sat by the kitchen.
“I am sorry but there is something I need to tell you and you are going to hate me for it.” You say to your lover but you cant look him in the eyes the shame.
“These pass few weeks i rarely come here as you notice. But there is a reason for it. I….”
“Tell me are you seeing someone.” He ask you in a calm tone
“No There isn’t.”
“Then why?”
“The reason” he cut you off
“Is it you hate me?” he ask
“No why would you….” he cuts you off again
“Don't love me ? ” he asked
“I….I…I” you stutter as you cant find the words
“It is isn't it, there is someone” he cuts you off but his tone is mix with both anger and hurt
“Yes. But…” you tried to explain but again he cuts you off
“But WHAT?” he asked with irritation
“HE IS DEAD” You almost yelled with those words and there is silence none of you didn't say anything.
“I saw the letter so I knew it would come to this.” He says
“huh!”
“I knew back then you loved him and you still do I was blind and I took advantage at you I was selfish to let you go back then I just don't want to lose you.” He left you thinking with those words.
“I always know that I always have a competition for you and that is Levi. when I heard that he died I was so glad that he did. I know that I shouldn't think like that but I just cant stop and I am sorry, so sorry. Please trust me that I will always be by your side no matter the situation maybe.” He looks at you in the eyes determination and honesty in them.
“So you knew that he loved me.” You said softly
“Yes I did and I thought that maybe he might moved on.”
“Why?” Was all you can ask right now
“I am going to tell you something. okay.” He says
“okay………….”
“I………I………I want to tell you the truth. I found someone and I am selfish to let you go”
“WHAT??? so basically you are trying to say is that you are having an affair. And for how long? Tell me how long”
You manage to say this but it now only a whisper that you yourself and you don't want to hear the truth.
Silence between the two of you and you think all this time your marriage means nothing it is just a namesake that you are happy but you are not
"7 months we are seeing each other and I still am seeing her."
Oh
"Then what about the kids" You asked.
"She loves them and I do too. What about you?"
"I think its better that you two look after them and we get a divorce yes."
"Yea that would be better"
"Okay then, I will be going then"
"Is this goodbye, for the both of us." He asked and you replied
"Yes, it is. Goodbye and take care I hope you both will be happy."
"And I hope you will find happiness and goodbye." I look at him. He smile and that was the last thing I see from him.
As you leave him, your memories with him replayed in your mind and yet you didn't feel anything but somehow you feel relief wash all over you and as you took off your wedding ring you left it in the mailbox.
For the first you feel like you wanted to go home and as you reached home you are happy, very happy.
yet to be continued.......