Chapter Text
“Hey!” Chuuya grabbed Dazai by the collar the moment they stepped out of the court. The police officer tried to pull Chuuya back, but Chuuya’s strength was simply no comparison to the policeman’s.
“Yes, Nakahara Chuuya?” Dazai smiled as he got lifted a few inches off the ground by Chuuya.
“So, you’ve betrayed the Port Mafia and became a judge here? What’s your deal?” Chuuya gritted his teeth.
“Hey, no.920, let go of the judge at once.” A higher ranking officer was summoned. He snarled at Chuuya viciously. Chuuya reluctantly let go of Dazai before walking off with the officer and his lawyer.
“Pft… chibi behaviour…” Dazai muttered to himself as his assistant tapped his shoulder.
“Yes, Oba-chan?” Dazai glanced at his young female assistant. Pale yet healthy skin, azure hair, young smart mind, Dazai never regretted recruiting Oba. She has potential, no older than twenty, and is basically Dazai's mental support.
"Senpai, I am a bit concerned about your behaviour in court. You see, you aren't usually like this, so I really want to know you relationship with Nakhara Chuuya." Oba's eyes glimmered with worry.
"Ah, Oba-chan, you see, me and Chuuya are really good friends. No in fact, we're not just friends." Dazai smirked as the silhouette of Chuuya's petite body was sent into a different room.
"Are you guys...? You know what, I'll be off preparing for court." Oba scurried to the opposite direction.
***
"Right everyone. I have decided on the consequences for Nakahara Chuuya."
After loads of listening to the cute lawyer and the annoying proposition side, with loads of comments from others, Dazai finally made up his mind for Chuuya's sentence. No, that wasn't true. The moment Chuuya's name was called into court, Dazai already knew the perfect sentence for him.
Dazai paused for suspense. Chuuya grunted. Dazai wouldn't do anything weird. Not as the judge.
"Chuuya Nakahara, come forward."
Chuuya scooted to the front unwilling. Dazai must've been enjoying himself, toying with him.
”Our juries have voted you guilty at 7:2.”
"I now sentence you to life imprisonment."
"I DIDN'T EVEN STEAL THAT MUCH, YOU-"
"Court dismissed, please escort Nakahara Chuuya away." Dazai stood up from his spot and walked down the stairs of his place.
Chuuya screamed angrily, not forgetting to curse Dazai, as he was pulled away in handcuffs.
"STUPID LITTLE PIECE OF-"
Chuuya was brought away.
***
“Senpai, I thought Chuuya was your boyfriend? Sure you have to be rational, but won’t his crime only be worth at most fifteen years?” Oba immediately asked as soon as Dazai walked out of the room.
“Oba-chan. As my assistant, you need to check the notes more thoroughly. Look up the prison I have written down. The address, to be precise.”
“The address?” Oba checked the address on the notes. “What’s special about it?”
“Well, you see, I may or may not have put the address of my house as the prison.” Said Dazai sillily.
“Senpai! You're gonna get into so much trouble after this!” Oba face-palmed herself as she regretted her life decisions of being Dazai’s assistant. At the same time, she knew how much Dazai cared for Nakahara Chuuya to have endangered his occupation.
“Well, what are they gonna do? Lock the judge up?”
Yes, Dazai, they will. But for some reason, the police force didn’t seem to notice anything suspicious about the prison, and Chuuya was sent there.
***
“Hey Dazai! Where did you put my hat?” Chuuya screeched as he smacked Dazai on the back of his head. Dazai smiled stupidly.
“It’s on your head, chibi.” Laughed Dazai.
“Eh?” Chuuya petted his head. No hat.
“Hahaha! Made you look!” Dazai patted Chuuya’s head.
“Oh my days, Chuuya! Stop being so angry! I feel a bald patch!”
“HA?”
And that, is the daily life of Soukoku.