Chapter Text
TWO
'Twas the night before Christmas when last we met,
The Evil Christmas Ninja had a plan and all was set,
To bring together two clueless – or perhaps not? – agents,
Using a brilliant, basic gift from the ancients.
Mistletoe here, mistletoe there, mistletoe everywhere,
With candy and Santa; it's her own personal lair,
But no one was around – this wouldn't do,
It was as if everyone had some sort of curfew.
And so she left, with a weight in her ninja heart,
Because with the festivity she could not bear to part,
But she would be back in three hours and a second,
And with company, the atmosphere will be brightened.
So the ninja headed home in her super-special-speed-demon,
And waited around, impatient for her plan to take action,
The clock ticked and ticked and ticked but it's ever so slow,
She felt like it should have been time a million years ago.
Finally, finally the time was a horrible hour of three,
And old, lively Hetty was as happy as can be,
For now it all starts – a fairytale affair,
And of this juicy secret only she would be aware.
"Hetty?" Callen questions incredulously before jumping out of bed. His superior has only ever called him in the middle of the night twice, and twice it had been due to certain emergencies, mostly to do with his team – his family of sorts.
"Ah, Mr. Callen. Good morning and Merry Christmas to you, too. It has come to my attention that a certain case – an old one, certainly – has recently been re-opened and Washington would like our team to get to the bottom of this."
"And it couldn't wait?" He sighs, part relieved and part annoyed. Well, at least his team is all right. But really? Three in the morning? On Christmas? Not that he has any plans, but…
"I'm afraid not. This is very important."
"I'll be there in ten."
"Good, good," She sounds dismissive and distracted as he snatches his keys off the nightstand and heads out. "Oh, and Mr. Callen?"
"Yes, Hetty?" He stills, phone in hand, keys in the other.
"Ms. Blye and Mr. Beale will meet you there. As of now, only the four of us are aware of this and I would like to keep it so."
He grows suspicious – Sam is being left out of the loop? – but decides that he'll just deal with this first, see what the situation is before he goes against Hetty.
Besides, a certain brunette agent will be there, and he actually prefers her company over Sam's at three in the morning.
He hangs up and gets to the office in no time at all, bounding up the few steps to get to Eric. It's dark, save for the twinkling Christmas lights, and they cast an odd, eerie glow around the empty office, which gives him no cause to linger around.
Two minutes later he's about to walk into Eric's lair when he bumps into someone – not someone, but Kensi. They pause under the doorway, flustered and a little thrown off.
"Merry Christmas, Callen." She grins, and he picks up immediately on the sarcasm and that subtle change in her voice that tells him she's running on caffeine.
"Merry Christmas, Kenz," He replies, and then they both try to side-step each other so that they can be on their way, only to almost collide again.
A sharp gasp escapes her lips as she freezes, and his first instinct is to freeze as well. He doesn't question her, merely follows her gaze to identify the problem. Directly above them, in all its terrible, festive glory, sits a merry little sprig of mistletoe.
Hetty suddenly appears in that ninja-way of hers, clasps her hands together and announces, with thinly-veiled glee:
"Oh, goodie – mistletoe!"
That evil ninja, that Christmas Puck - this time she's done it,
Though certainly, to this horrible crime she'll never admit.
But it pops up everywhere, that bit of festive green,
In doorways and arches and more places unseen.
She underestimates them – their skills; I told her so,
She'd called me a voice out of many and told me to go,
But now they sit, and think, and discuss, and suspect,
Something is wrong; something they can detect.
But they play along, for what is there to lose?
They'll sit it out and they'll drop tiny clues,
She will pick up on them; eventually, she will,
And maybe then her secret plan she will spill.
But when they stand under mistletoe for the seventh time,
And she silently pouts in a corner as if this is a crime,
They know it's enough – they have to step forward and ask,
Just what in the world does she think she will achieve with this task?
Caught red-handed, she glows red like Rudolph's nose so bright;
Just what was she thinking, calling them after midnight?
But Hetty steps forward, and I use my writer powers to make her tell it all,
And Callen and Kensi, they laugh and laugh until they want to fall.
"Hetty, you were – you – you… you tried to set us up?" Kensi gasps between laughs, too fond of the elder woman to be angry or even upset at her. It's adorable and heart-warming, actually, that she was trying to make sure they enjoyed their holidays, but man, did she go about it the wrong way!
Callen stands next to his co-worker, amused smirk in place as Hetty looks at one, then the other, clearly feeling a little put out and slightly confused. Kensi is notoriously against being set up and in any other situation, he would have been equally taken aback by her reaction. But for once in his life, he knows something Hetty doesn't.
"I think it's adorable," Kensi finally announces, smiling widely as she works to keep her laughter in check. "Really, Hetty, that was sweet. But Callen and I, we're big kids now. We can handle ourselves."
"I know that, Ms. Blye, but I didn't want to have two of my best agents spending the holidays alone. It is quite the tragedy, actually, to be all alone and blue on Christmas."
"Hetty, we aren't going to be alone. Kensi and I have plans. She has friends to visit and I have some stuff I've been meaning to catch up on."
"Yeah, we talked about all of this weeks ago, Hetty."
"Well," Hetty huffs, quite embarrassed to be caught playing holiday matchmaker. "I suppose I was quite off about this. Merry Christmas, Mr. Callen and Ms. Blye. I will see you after the holidays."
"Wait, Hetty!"
"Yes, Mr. Callen?" She turns around with an inquisitive look.
"We all have holiday plans, but what about you? No one should be alone on Christmas, Hetty."
Hetty smiles; it's very nice of him to ask, and his question reminds her of her Christmas plans. She imagines the thirty orphans she will be reading to will keep her company for the day.
"Oh, I will be just fine, Mr. Callen."
With that characteristically-vague answer, she turns around and leaves for her office. As soon as she is out of sight, her two agents turn to each other and Kensi asks, in a cautious whisper, a question that would have filled Hetty with glee had she been around to overhear it.
"Your place or mine?"
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all around L.A,
Everyone gathered to celebrate a special day,
With family and friends, and less fortunate strangers,
To care for the young and respect their elders.
And in the early morning with the day so bright,
They felt goodness in their hearts, and so much light,
For Christmas had come and now it was time,
To share and care, and maybe give out a dime.
And somewhere amidst all this beautiful wonder,
One just had to sit down and ponder,
Where was the team, and what were they doing?
Were they sharing and caring and smiling?
And yes, I can honestly say,
That on this special day,
Our team, just like everyone I know,
They enjoyed a very merry Christmas, albeit without snow.
Twas the night before Christmas when a curious plan,
Took hold in the mind of Hetty – a scary land.
And now that it's over, let me bid you before the final curtain call:
"To all a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to all!"