Chapter Text
Location, Remus's house, 1994
Remus had given Selene one of the bedrooms on the first floor. The house was rather small but cosy enough. The wizard also apologized multiple times for the size of his house and if it would make her feel more comfortable, she could have his bedroom instead. Quite insulted by his offer, Selene had shaken her head and told him not to worry about it.
The quest room was big enough for her. There was a double bed which was already a blessing as well as a desk and a chair adorned with a wild flowers patterned cushion. Selene found Remus's taste in furniture quite, unexpected. Old-fashioned, to be exact. She pushed her trunk underneath the bed after she had taken her clothes out and, neatly folded, placed them into a wardrobe.
"All settled in?" A warm voice said.
Selene looked up and smiled at Sirius leaning against the doorpost. Quickly she moved away from the bed to embrace him. He still looked pale and very malnourished but the dirt and grime was gone and he smelled strongly of sandalwood. She nuzzled her nose against his neck to take it all in and memorize his scent, never to forget it. Sirius started breathing heavily and Selene could feel his heartbeat quicken underneath her hand which rested against his chest.
She chuckled and pressed her lips in a cheeky grin. "This will do quite nicely."
"I, uh,-" Sirius suddenly gulped and he swallowed the lump which had formed in his throat. "I'll have to leave soon."
The mood shifted and Selene retracted her hands from the man in front of her. They hadn't discussed anything after the events at Hogwarts. Things were still different compared to twelve years ago. Even if Sirius now looked more like his former self than he'd done so over the past few months, it still wasn't the same between them.
"I know." Selene replied. She knew it all too well.
"Have you thought about,- you know,-" Sirius pressed his lips together. "Us?"
Selene looked up and blinked her blue eyes at him. He didn't have to explain what he meant. Or what it was that he wanted to hear.
"I have." And she had. But still she was unsure of what was logical and what her heart wanted.
She had to admit to herself that Sirius would never be the same person he was before Azkaban. They had been together for five years and they had both been so young back then. She knew him and yet there was also a big black hole of knowing nothing at all. What if they tried again and what if it didn't work out? But what if it did? Was this something she wanted to go through? Then there was also the matter of his supposed crimes. Would he forever be an escaped convict or one day a free man? And could someone who had been locked up in prison for over a decade truly ever be free?
"My love?" Sirius asked again.
She stared into his stormy grey eyes. Selene licked her lips and her heart pounded in her chest. "I want to try, but I'm also afraid."
Sirius raised his hand and stroked her cheek. "I can fix that."
With lightning speed Sirius closed the door behind him and pulled the woman before him in his arms. His smile was the brightest thing in the room. He buried his hands in her hair, and gave her another look before capturing her lips roughly with his own. He manoeuvred the two of them to the bed and gently laid her back. Breaking their kiss, Sirius hoovered over her and stared intensely. In that moment they were both young again. Twenty year old Selene and twenty-two year old Sirius. The ages they had been before they lost each other.
"I want you." Sirius admitted hoarsely.
He reached for his wand, flicked it before Selene could reply, and cast a silencing charm on the room. He lowered his arms and smiled at her with that infamous smirk.
He moved closer to recapture her lips. Selene moved her hands over his chest and started to unbutton his shirt. They parted as Sirius freed himself from the confinement of his upper clothes. Selene followed his example by pulling her own top over her face but yelped Sirius's moist lips pressed against her chest. He sucked lightly and a soft moan escaped her as she struggled getting the blasted shirt past her head. Sirius chuckled and ran his hands up her arms, helping her along the way.
Sirius kissed her once more, licking her lips which she parted eagerly. She felt his desire beneath her hand. Sirius groaned and bit into her bottom lip. He pulled his head back and gently turned Selene over until she sat on top of him. She felt incredibly warm and the whole process was going far too slow for her liking. But Sirius knew this all too well, which was probably the reason why he was taking his sweet time.
Once again he switched their position and Selene closed her eyes as he made a trail of kisses across her chest, down to her stomach and stopped just above the waist of her trousers.
"Sirius,-" She moaned as his hand reached down.
She swore she could hear Sirius smile with approval. Quickly he removed the last parts of her clothes before removing his own. He placed himself between her legs, nothing else standing in their way, just him and her. Selene pulled him close. It wasn't the first time they'd had sex, yet it felt like a first time again.
::::::...::::::
Remus emptied the glass of firewhiskey with one quick gulp. He glanced up at the ceiling thinking about what those two were doing up there. One did not have to be a psychic to know what was happening. He poured another glass of firewhiskey and placed the half empty bottle back on the coffee table.
He swirled the contents of the glass before swallowing all of it. Remus, the vicious werewolf. He barked out a laugh. How vicious must he look in this very moment? Before he knew it, his glass had once again miraculously refilled itself. He sighed and placed the full glass next to the bottle. What was wrong with him? This was not at all like Remus. Drinking, complaining, being jealous of his best friend. Not to mention having certain thoughts about his other friend.
No, not his friend. His best friend's woman.
He was driving himself crazy. Remus stood up and walked into the hallway. He halted and stood there, his eyes looking up the stairs. This was the last thing he needed to trouble himself with. Thinking about Sirius and Selene making love, if that was indeed what they were doing. Remus was nowhere near the guest-room, yet it still felt like eavesdropping. No sound was coming from upstairs. He shook his head and went back into the living room. Absent-mindedly he stroked his moustache and top lip as his mind wandered to Selene.
To her touch, her lips, the sparkle in her eyes. Oh God, how he longed,- no, lusted for her touch. He loathed himself. Why was he falling for her? That was also inaccurate. He had already fallen for her. Never before had he thought it possible. She was Sirius's girl during Hogwarts. But things had changed. It was no longer the same as it was before. Their kiss had changed everything.
At least it had for Remus and he had to deal with it. He had to get it out of his system. Once again his hand embraced the glass still filled with Firewhiskey. He looked at it for a moment before pouring it into the fireplace.
He wondered what James would have to say about it. About how he felt. Though Remus would probably not ask for James's opinion in this matter, but for Lily's. She'd probably tell him not to ignore his feelings, but to make sure that they were real and not some sort of misinterpretation.
Perhaps he was mistaken and what he felt for Selene had nothing to do with love. More a feeling of being needed,- of being wanted - belonging to someone. Remus groaned deeply and dimmed all of the lights in the house as he made his way up to his room, which was on the opposite side the guest bedroom. With one final glance at the door he closed his.
The next day
It had been quite some time since he'd had a long night of just sleep. No dreams, no nightmares, no waking up screaming and drenched with sweat. Just a deep, deep slumber. He listened as steady breathing sounded from his left. Those sounds belonged to a woman, a very special woman, who held his entire heart. Last night was one unlike any other they'd had spent before. Sirius couldn't describe how it felt, but it was nothing compared to how they had made love years ago. They had been ever so young and making love was new and exciting.
Last night had been so much more than that. He felt more connected to her than ever before and he couldn't dream of ever letting go of that feeling. Sirius turned onto his side and looked at Selene's bare back.
Four clear and deep pinkish lines were drawn across the left side, starting at her shoulder then trailing across her shoulder blade and down the centre of her back. He had paid no attention to them last night, but now that he finally saw them he could understand why Remus had felt so ashamed of himself and why Hermione had stopped Harry from informing him about Selene's injuries.
It had not even been a week ago yet the scars looked healed enough to him. That probably meant that Remus must have been able to stop himself in time before doing any serious damage. Sirius was still certain his friend had stopped in time, realizing who he was before killing his friend. A moan escaped from Selene and she started to stir,
"Mmm, good morning,-" She mumbled softly and a smile formed on Sirius's face.
"Morning, Love." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"How long have you been up?" She asked.
"Not long," He told her. "I was looking at the markings on your back." His voice dropped. "Remus,- he told me what happened."
There was no reply.
Sirius traced his fingers along the line of one of the scars. "Do they hurt?" He asked her.
She turned her head to him. "Not really." She replied grabbing his hand and placing it against her cheek. "It's only a scar. My pain is nothing compared to what Remus is feeling."
Sirius sighed and kissed his love on her forehead. "I'm amazed the scars look the way they do. I had expected them to look,- well, to be honest, worse."
Selene closed her eyes and breathed in deeply through her nose. "The person who found me must have known some brilliant healing spells."
Sirius frowned at her comment. "Darling, are you sure that's what happened?"
Now it was her turn to frown. "Of course. Remus wasn't aware of his actions, he didn't stop on his own accord."
Sirius shook his head at this. "No, Remus knows who he is. Deep down inside I know for sure he was aware of what was going on. Once he realized it was you, he immediately fought with himself."
Selene groaned and moved his hand away from her cheek.
"No, Sirius. I know you wish to believe in Remus, which you should. But some things cannot be denied and this is one of those things. I know Remus did not stop his attack. Severus told me that the skin of my back was almost torn into pieces,-"
SNAPE?!
"Did you just say Snape?" Sirius looked at Selene who pressed her lips into a thin line. "Did Snape save you?"
The look on Sirius's face was hard to describe. Anger, irritation, even disbelief.
"I,- ugh, look." She sighed. "He was the one who found me. It couldn't have been Peter. He was there, but he ran off,-"
"You caught up with Peter? Are you telling me, that it could also have been Peter who saved you?"
Selene was getting incredibly frustrated with the man next to her. He was back into his new mode. His revenge mode.
"You listen to me, Sirius Black. I went after Peter, yes. And when I was on the ground, Remus showed up. Peter escaped. But even in that moment, Peter was the last thing I was worried about and I called out to him for help,- Hush now!" She said placing her hand on Sirius's mouth when he was about to speak.
"Let me finish. I thought I was dying, Sirius. I did not want to die." She lowered her head. "If there was one ounce of goodness in Peter, he would have helped me. but I don't know if it was him or Severus who found me and fought Remus off. When I woke up in the hospital wing, there was Severus standing beside my bed."
Sirius made a fist with his hand as she said that. He refused to believe her theory even though it made more sense than his own belief in his friend.
"I don't care which one of the two saved me. I'm glad that somebody did. Can't you be happy that someone saved my life, even if it was Peter of Severus?"
She stared deep into his eyes, stating a perfect point, but he was not willing to agree. He hated this feeling. Of course he was thankful that she was saved, but not when it was by people who he loathed to his very core. This resulted in him being in their debt, one of them at least, and that was not a position he wanted to be in.
"Can't we just say that you were saved because of a miracle?" He suggested and Selene sighed before planting a kiss on his mouth. Her way of showing she no longer wanted to discuss the matter. She stood up from the bed and grabbed a bathrobe.
"Where do you think you're going?" Sirius asked watching her every move.
"I am going to get some breakfast." She smiled slipping into the robe. Sirius got out of the bed and walked up behind her, encircling his arms around her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "Sounds smashing, I would like some bacon with scrambled eggs."
Selene laughed and turned around. "I am not your personal chef, Mr. Black. How about some toast with marmalade?"
Sirius scrunched his nose. "I am a man, a hungry man and I deserve a real meal." He continued.
"Alright hungry man, Eggs and bacon."
"In bed." He added.
"In bed?"
"And then dessert."
Selene snorted. "Let me guess, something soft and hot?"
"Sponge cake." He wiggled his eyebrows as he moved his hands towards her bottom.
Selene placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him back towards the bed.
"Funny." She smirked.
::::::...::::::
Selene headed downstairs into the kitchen where she found Remus sitting at the table drinking. Tea from the look of things. Remus loved tea as much as Sirius loved coffee.
"Morning, Remus." She greeted him.
Remus responded with a small nod and continued sipping his drink.
"You wouldn't happen to have some left for me, would you?"
Again Remus simply nodded. He appeared rather distant that morning. Selene walked past him and poured a cup for herself. She quietly turned around and looked at his back. He seemed to be completely engaged with the paper he was reading. It might have fooled anyone else, but not Selene.
"Are you alright?" She asked.
At first she thought Remus was going to continue his façade and keep his distance from any conversation. But then he lowered the Daily Prophet he had been reading and moved his tea aside.
"Sirius won't stay here forever." He said to her.
She hadn't expected Remus to address that matter. But apparently she wasn't the only one bothered by it. He probably hated the idea as much as she did.
"No, I know." She replied and she lowered her eyes. "I wish we could do something about it."
Remus looked at his friend, his eyes glancing up and down her body. It was clear what had happened upstairs in his guest room. How Sirius and Selene had spent the night. He didn't like it. He knew it wasn't his place, it had never been before, so why try and take it now? Probably because it had happened under his roof. Nevertheless Remus pushed his chair back and walked over to her.
"Did he tell you when he's leaving?" He asked quietly.
Selene shook her head and looked up at him. Remus blinked and Selene realized that her friend knew more about it than she did.
"You know when he's going?" Selene's brow furrowed and Remus sighed.
"He should have told you."
The witch knew what that meant. It meant he was leaving today. She clenched her fist and was ready to throw the cup of tea through the kitchen. Luckily for her Remus was there. He grabbed her hand and took the cup from her before placing it behind her.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. I'm just,-"
"Sad." Remus answered for her.
Without warning Selene wrapped her arms around Remus, who stiffened up at the unexpected action. He quickly composed himself and pulled her into a tight hug. He wasn't sure if she was crying or not, but one thing was certain she still loved Sirius. Remus hugged her a little tighter just then.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Sirius said as he entered the kitchen. Remus lowered his arms and stepped away from Selene. Sirius looked at the two of them and he arched an eyebrow.
"Did someone die?" He joked, but the joke was very misplaced and he knew it as Remus shook his head and Selene crossed her arms.
"When were you going to tell me that the plan was to leave today?" She asked him.
Sirius nervously scratched the back of his neck. He knew this was going bite him in the arse. Even before he knew Selene was coming over, he had planned on staying at Remus for no more than three days.
"That is the plan." He said. "I know I should have told you. But after you arrived here, that honestly was the last thing on my mind to tell you."
His eyes moved and stopped at the newspaper Remus had been reading. There was a picture of him on the front page and beneath it a headline saying: Where is Sirius Black?
He shook his head. "I'm still an escaped convict, Sel."
Selene rolled her eyes. "I know that, Sirius. I'm not dumb. Just because I know what the most logical thing is to do, doesn't mean that I have to like it."
"Perhaps, I should leave you two alone." Remus suddenly said and he prepared to head out of the kitchen when Sirius stopped him.
"No, mate. Please, stay."
Remus threw his friend an odd look and frowned but stayed put.
Sirius stepped in front of Selene and placed his hand under her chin. "If I could stay here, I would. But I don't want to get Remus or you into trouble and staying here will cause that. If they discover me here, the two of you will be taken in as well."
Selene sighed. "And without Peter there is no proof of the truth. No matter what we say."
Sirius nodded. "As I said, as long as the ministry is looking for me I can't stay here or anywhere else for too long. I'll keep moving around until Dumbledore thinks of something or when the ministry stops their search."
"You plan on running for what could very well take weeks, months even!" Selene's voice rose, she looked over his shoulder. "Remus, say something!"
Remus cleared his throat and crossed his arms. "Sel, as much as I hate to say it,- Sirius can't stay here."
Selene clenched her jaw and her expression changed. "What if I will come with you? We could leave the country. I know lots of places where the ministry will never find you." She said forcefully.
"Sel, I can't. I am not planning on leaving the country. I am staying in England and because of that I can't take you with me."
Selene blinked. "Why?"
"Harry,-" Sirius answered.
"Harry?" Selene repeated.
"I need to keep an eye on him. He's my Godson."
Selene knew she couldn't change his mind. There were more people involved than just her and Remus. There was also Harry, not just Harry but also the memory and promise to James and Lily. Sirius wasn't as selfish as people took him for. He was in fact probably more loyal and noble when it came to his promises than any of them.
"Will you come back here?" She asked him.
Sirius grabbed her tight by her upper arms. He paused and then released them. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out an object he should have personally given to her a long, long time ago.
He held it firmly in his hand as he grabbed hers. He held out a tiny velvety box.
Selene took a step back. "Sirius,-" She gasped.
"I know you said you wanted to try again. And this is my way of showing you I am serious about it. I should have done this a long time ago and I know we promised not to think about this but after last night,- I want to."
It was the ring he'd sent her with Christmas. The ring Selene had tucked neatly into a little pouch in her trunk. An easy location for someone like Sirius to find the small object which he himself had bought twelve years ago.
"But I had that,-"
"Hidden in you trunk. I know, I took the liberty of rummaging through your stuff in order to find it." He smirked. "Now if you'd please hush so I can ask you a very important question."
"Don't,-"
Remus could not believe what was currently happening in his own kitchen. He stood there dumbfounded, unsure if he should be supportive or if he should knock Sirius out for this irrational behaviour.
"Selene Nerice Merrythought, will you do me the honour, the great, great honour of becoming my wife?" He took a deep breath as he waited for her to answer.
"You stupid, stupid man." She cried as she lowered herself to the ground.
"I'll take that as a yes or at least an I'll think about it." Sirius laughed as he grabbed her hand and slid the ring on her finger. The silver ring with a light blue gem in the centre with inside it tiny silver specks, which looked like the stars in the sky.
"You're so stupid." Selene sobbed as the ring settled at the base of her ring finger. She placed her hands on either side of Sirius's face and pulled him in for a swift kiss. When they pulled away, Remus appeared beside them with a small smile on his face.
"I guess congratulations are in order." He said spreading his arms and embracing Sirius and Selene at the same time. Selene had tears in her eyes though they twinkled with joy.
"You do have the worst timing, Padfoot." Remus said to Sirius.
"What else has changed, huh?" He replied and he directed his attention back to Selene. "I know this is sudden. But I am serious and that was not intended as a pun." He smirked. "Promise me you'll think about it?" He grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on the ring.
Selene nodded and smiled brightly.
::::::...::::::
Selene did not lower her arm until Buckbeak and Sirius had vanished from sight. Remus had his arm wrapped around her shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze.
"Come on, let's go inside. It's rather chilly out here."
"He's really gone,-" She whispered not looking away from the starry night sky. She twirled the ring on her finger. She sighed and closed her eyes. Remus moved his arm and pulled her against him.
"You heard him. He'll be back, Moonpie. He escaped Azkaban and fought of several Dementors and powerful wizards." He planted a kiss on top of her head and sighed. "In the meantime let me be here for you?"
Selene lifted her head to look into his eyes. "Thank you, Remus."
His gaze was intense and for a moment she noticed his eyes shift downwards. "I'm glad you're here."
He looked back up and blinked, a quick smile showed but vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.
"Come on, I'll make us some tea." He said as he unwrapped his arms and walked into the house. Selene sighed and turned her gaze back to the sky.
I'll be waiting for you…