Chapter Text
~ ~ ~
The war had been going on for many, many months, and Nie Huaisang had been staying in Cloud Recesses almost as long. After his rescue from Qishan, his brother had sent him to live with the Lan, hoping he would stay far from the front lines of the war.
He didn’t mind being far away from the fighting, but he worried daily about his brother and the rest of those in his sect. He remembered his tearful goodbye to Nie Mingjue in the Unclean Realm, and he desperately hoped it had not been the last he would see of him.
Though he didn’t enjoy doing work of any sort, Lan Qiren had kept him close and busy doing small, unimportant tasks that kept his mind occupied. One day he would be posting guard schedules for the disciples, another he would be carrying a tray with a tea service for his teacher. Lan Qiren had even asked him to make copies of pictures and paintings found in many Lan texts – he was afraid the knowledge would be lost if the originals were to be destroyed – and Nie Huaisang actually felt useful using his natural artistic skills.
On rare occasions, he even managed to forget there was a war going on, that his brother and friends were fighting against the Wen and a single battle could mean the difference between whether or not they ever came home again.
He was carrying a basket full of freshly-laundered linens to Lan Qiren’s home when he suddenly lost his grip on the basket, dropping to his knees on the ground. He trembled and wrapped his arms around himself as he felt waves of grief, rage, and anguish.
It was his bright presence again – it hadn’t died that first time and he’s encountered it several times since, and each time felt stronger than the last. He closed his eyes, allowing his mind to follow the emotions to their source. It was not a darkness like the first time they’d ‘met’, but there was still something dark within the bright presence that worried him.
They had to die.
He sensed himself enveloping the presence in an embrace.
Revenge... not as good as it should feel.
Nie Huaisang only ever picked up on certain thoughts and feelings, nothing concrete to tell him who was at the other end of this bond, but he had gathered that they were fighting in the cultivators’ war, and that they were on his side of it. He had tried many times to speak with them, but there was never any response to his words – but there was always some sort of response when he focused on feelings. He tried to think of comfort, of resignation to the horrors of the war, of hope for things to be better once it was over.
A tendril of the bright presence reached out to him for the first time – until then, it had always been ‘him’ wrapping protectively around the other.
Thank you.
He continued holding the presence until it began to fade away. Gradually his mind came back to himself, and when he opened his eyes... he wasn’t where he had been when he’d fallen.
“Easy.”
He turned to the speaker and was met with the concerned face of Lan Qiren – they were in his home. The older man brought a bowl over to him and pressed the rim to his lips – he took a sip, cool water that had a hint of medicinal herbs.
“How often has this been happening?” Lan Qiren asked.
“Only a few times,” he hedged. “Until now, almost always at night.”
Lan Qiren nodded. “Do you know what side they’re fighting on?” He hadn’t asked anything else – he knew enough not to need to ask anything further.
“I believe ours.” He started sitting up, feeling stiff but good. Connecting with this other person always left him feeling more whole and hopeful, no matter what either of them was going through at the time.
“Good. You do what you can to help them keep going.”
He winced. “I’m sorry I dropped the laundry.”
Lan Qiren gave him a look. “It is still there for you to fold when you can. Linens are but linens – this is a time of war, and there are other things that are more important.”
They exchanged nods, and Lan Qiren was kind enough to give him a little extra time before shooing him out of the house and off to reclaim the fallen laundry.
~ ~ ~
There were only a handful of disciples left in Cloud Recesses, the rest having gone to join the forces making one final charge on Nightless City. They were gathered together at one end of the dining hall, having taken to eating together for support and comfort while their loved ones were away, fighting Wen Ruohan’s people.
Nie Huaisang was lifting a spoon of congee to his lips when his breath caught, and he was overcome by feelings of relief and exhaustion.
We won...
He instinctively tried to follow the thought, but felt something resisting him, pushing him back toward himself.
Just wanted you to know. We won.
He struggled to catch his breath as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He blinked and realized every other person at the table was looking at him. He met Lan Qiren’s eyes... and smiled.
“We won.”
The other Lan exchanged skeptical looks, but then Lan Qiren let out a long, relieved sigh and smiled – actually smiled, it making him look like he was Nie Huaisang’s age.
The words spread to the few remaining in the dining hall, then in true Lan fashion, everyone turned silent once again as they returned to their meals.
All but Nie Huaisang who picked up his bowl, carried it outside, and the moment he was out of range of various Lan disciples, let out a shout of joy so loud that the Heavens would no doubt hear it.
They’d won! The war was over, and he’d finally get to see his brother again, and the person at the other end of their bond was safe and well. There was nothing more he could ask for in the world.
~ ~ ~
Nie Huaisang leapt off his horse and threw himself at his brother, who didn’t hesitate to catch him. All around them, the other surviving Nie soldiers watched with fond amusement, none of them begrudging their sect leader’s reunion with his brother.
“Da-ge,” he mumbled into Nie Mingjue’s uniform.
His brother’s arms tightened around him, but then he felt him flinch. He pulled out of the hug and looked at Nie Mingjue, the pain on his brother’s face, and he began looking him over for bandages.
“Were you hurt? Are you all right?!”
“I’m fine,” his brother replied, his voice familiarly gruff. “Nothing that won’t heal quickly enough.”
His brother was probably telling the truth, but Nie Huaisang refused to leave his side for the next several days. They had been apart for over a year, and they had a lot of time to make up for.
They remained in Qishan for several days as more wounded were taken care of, and more Wen were captured and taken in as prisoners. The soldiers were relieved to finally stop fighting, and the messengers were kept busy as everyone wrote letters to tell their loved ones they had survived the final siege.
Eventually, Nie Mingjue led a delegation to Nightless City for the official victory celebration. Nie Huaisang tried to act proper and professional, but once the initial greetings were over, he couldn’t resist running off from his brother’s side in search of friends he hadn’t seen since the Qishan Indoctrination Camp.
“Jiang-xiong! Wei-xiong!” It took everything he had not to hug his friends the moment he spotted them, instead settling for a bow of greeting. Both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were wearing white belts, and despite the general happiness brought on by the end of the war, their continuing grief was obvious. “I’m happy to see you well.” If not well, alive.
Wei Wuxian was... different. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and he made a quiet bow where once he would have bounced over and wrapped an arm around Nie Huaisang’s shoulders in a hug. Jiang Cheng stood straighter than ever before, but his shoulders dipped as if they had the weight of the world on them.
“It’s good to see you, Nie-xiong,” Wei Wuxian offered.
Jiang Cheng cleared his throat, and something in his demeanour softened the slightest bit. “I’m glad to see you’re well...” And then he stared at Nie Huaisang in a mock glare. “But if you ever faint in enemy territory again, I’m going to break your legs.”
He pouted playfully. “But how was I to know the rest of you would be taken away to fight a monster while I was unconscious?”
His friend sniffed. “It’s probably for the best, I don’t know what I’d have told your brother if you’d been eaten by a fucking xuanwu.”
He tugged at Jiang Cheng’s sleeve with his fingers and tried to give him a smile. “Da-ge told me you sent him the message from Lanling, to let him know I was still in Qishan. Thank you.”
“Were you there long?” Jiang Cheng asked, sobering almost immediately. “Did they...”
He grimaced – he tried not to think about his time as a ‘guest’ of Qishan Wen. “It took Da-ge a couple of weeks to sneak someone inside to get me without being caught. By the time I got out... it was a little after Da-ge got the news bout Lotus Pier. I’m so sorry, Jiang-xiong. Wei-”
Wei Wuxian was no longer standing with them, and though Nie Huaisang took a quick look around the grand hall, he couldn’t spot his friend.
Jiang Cheng sighed. “Don’t mind him. He’s... he needs quiet time to himself sometimes.”
“It’s okay, I understand.” And even though Nie Huaisang had not fought with everyone else, he did understand the need for time away from everything and everyone. “I’m just glad you’re both all right.”
Jiang Cheng was called away by someone needing to address Yunmeng Jiang’s sect leader – it was still hard to imagine his friend in that role – and they promised one another to meet again later.
~ ~ ~
Nie Huaisang woke in the middle of the night, still full of food and wine from the victory celebration. Though he’d fallen asleep happy, however bittersweet it felt, he now awoke with a sense of urgency, a feeling like he was needed, but however much he tried to prod the bond that had been growing since before the war began, he could not reach the one at the other end.
He put on his robes and padded over to his brother’s room. Nie Mingjue was sleeping soundly, thankfully. Perhaps he was simply not quite over the war and the feeling of constantly waiting for news on his sect’s welfare. He knew he couldn’t go back to sleep, so he decided to take a walk outside, the air warm around the grounds of Nightless City.
He stopped when he heard grunting nearby. There was a small training field and someone was madly slashing a sword against a large post. There was no grace or artistry, this wasn’t proper training – this was someone who just badly needed to hit something. He was about to turn around and leave them to it when the person let out a sob and dropped to their knees, their sword falling onto the dirt ground – the moonlight highlighted their face, and he saw that it was Jiang Cheng.
Perhaps he should give his friend distance, but Nie Huaisang had never been good at doing what he should do.
He approached slowly, not wanting to startle his friend. “Jiang-xiong?” he asked softly, his voice almost lost in the night air.
Jiang Cheng turned his face away from him, lifting an arm to wipe a sleeve across his face. “What is it? What do you want?”
He stopped when he reached the sword on the ground. He picked it up, then handed it to Jiang Cheng. His friend had yet to look in his direction even as he accepted the sword.
“The only thing I want,” he replied, moving to kneel next to his friend on the cool ground, “is to be sure you’re okay. I couldn’t sleep and came out to take a walk, so I’m not needed or expected inside. If you need someone... I’m here.”
He expected Jiang Cheng to shoo him off or push him away. He was surprised when his friend’s eyes finally met his, Jiang Cheng’s cheeks still shiny from his tears.
“I can’t do this,” he whispered. “I can’t.”
“Do what?”
Jiang Cheng sighed. “Be sect leader, lead all these people...”
“But haven’t you been doing that for several months now?”
“That’s different.” Jiang Cheng dug the tip of his sword into the ground. “I had no choice.”
He shrugged. “And what’s different about now?”
“Now there’s politics,” Jiang Cheng groaned. “It was easy when it was just about bringing people into the sect and training them for battle. But we have Lotus Pier back – in terrible shape, but it’s still ours. And we need to deal with other sects. And you know me, Nie-xiong – I’m not the easiest to get along with.”
“You’re not so bad.” He tried to offer his friend a smile. “Da-ge was terrible when he first took over after A-Die died. He was angry and snapped at everyone, and the other sects didn’t respect him because he was so much younger than they were. But he earned their respect whether they wanted to give it or not, and he didn’t have to be something he wasn’t to do it.”
Jiang Cheng scoffed. “But people actually like your brother. Nobody likes me, not like that. They only like what I can do for them.”
Nie Huaisang leaned his shoulder into his friend’s. “I like you.”
“You only like me because of Wei Wuxian.” Jiang Cheng frowned.
“Do you really think I’d be sitting on the ground in the middle of the night for Wei Wuxian?” He gave his friend a fond glare. “Even without Wei-xiong around, I’ve always considered you my friend. I like who you were before the war, the Jiang-xiong I remember.”
The moonlight shone on one side of Jiang Cheng’s face as he turned his head more to face Nie Huaisang. “But I’m not that Jiang Cheng anymore.”
“Yes you are,” he argued, leaning his face in a little more. “You’re different in some ways, sure – the war’s messed everyone up. But who you are, who you really are... I’ve always liked him.”
He could tell his friend wanted to protest further, but he didn’t. They sat there, looking into each others’ eyes, the moon shining high and brightly overhead... and then Jiang Cheng’s nose brushed against his. He hadn’t realized how close their faces had come, and before he could even think of pulling back to give his friend some space, Jiang Cheng shifted and brought their lips together in a gentle, tentative kiss. Nie Huaisang closed his eyes and leaned in to return it.
Moments later, they pulled apart. Nie Huaisang looked into his friend’s eyes, his face feeling far too warm in the cool night air. “What was that for?” he asked with a smile to let Jiang Cheng know it hadn’t been unwelcome.
He could see his friend’s throat bob as he swallowed. “I... I wanted to do that, before the war. But I was afraid.”
Nie Huaisang’s hand sought out Jiang Cheng’s and threaded their fingers together. “And now?”
Jiang Cheng glanced down to Nie Huaisang’s lips before meeting his eyes again. “I’ve spent a year afraid I’d never get the chance to try. And now... I’m afraid I’ll never get to do it again,” he admitted.
Of course it was up to Nie Huaisang to assuage his friend’s fears – he leaned in to kiss him again.
And for the rest of the night, they traded kisses with only the moon as their witness.
~ ~ ~
In the weeks after the war, the various sects settled into a new routine. Nie Huaisang returned to the Unclean Realm with his brother and all the other disciples that had been fighting the Wen, and the fortress’ sturdy walls felt different than they had before – but then, so did Nie Huaisang. After his months working with Lan Qiren, he was less resistant to the idea of working alongside his brother, taking on duties to make Nie Mingjue’s life a little easier.
He remembered the first time he’d been given a task and hadn’t protested – his brother had looked at him as if he were a stranger, then gave him an understanding nod before sending him on his way.
Everyone had been changed by the war, including him.
He’d also maintained contact with Jiang Cheng, writing him letters once or twice a week, and had taken to ‘gently’ encouraging his brother to support the rebuilding of Lotus Pier in whatever ways became available. His brother, who knew him better than anyone else in the world, had seen right through him – and thus, whenever Nie Huaisang showed signs of wanting to refuse a task or duty, Nie Mingjue would not-so-subtly hint that it would be excellent training should he some day wish to marry a sect leader. Nie Huaisang had not been amused, but neither had he been able to argue against it.
There was only one thing he missed from the war – in the weeks since the end of Wen Ruohan, Nie Huaisang had only felt the connection between himself and the mysterious bright presence once. It had been completely random, and there had been no grief or anguish involved – whoever it was had been content, almost happy even, and Nie Huaisang had shared his own feelings of satisfaction with the end of the war and being home again with his brother.
The sects continued to rebuild and form new bonds, and more and more pressure was placed on the larger sects to provide support for the smaller ones. Yunmeng Jiang in particular, having been nearly decimated by the Wen, didn’t have the money or support to lend any to their neighbouring sects to whom they had established commitments since before the war. Jiang Cheng had spoken of it to Nie Huaisang in a letter, stating that the pressure was almost enough to force his hand and accept offers from Jin Guangshan that would put him severely in debt.
Nie Huaisang would not have it.
What was supposed to be a long courtship turned into a quick betrothal to tie Yunmeng Jiang to Qinghe Nie, and allow Nie Mingjue to lend support in Jiang Cheng’s name without any loss of face. Many were critical of a marriage between two male cultivators, particularly one who was the last of his line and would be required to provide an heir, but any arguments were put to rest with a single solid look from Nie Mingjue.
And soon enough, the grounds of Lotus Pier were adorned in shades of red and gold as they played host to the other sects for the first wedding since the end of the Sunshot Campaign.
~ ~ ~
Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng knelt side-by-side in the Jiang ancestral hall, their families surrounding them and watching patiently for them to make their second bow together. Where many would be bowing to the people who had raised them, both men had before them memorial plaques with the names of their parents engraved upon them. They knelt with their hands gripped together, the weight of past years upon them.
When he was ready, Nie Huaisang looked aside to Jiang Cheng. He expected to see a hint of leftover grief, but instead he saw confusion. “Are you all right, A-Cheng?”
Jiang Cheng blinked, then turned his head to whisper to Nie Huaisang. “Have you ever felt like you’ve done something before, even if you know you haven’t?”
“All the time,” he admitted. “Lan Qiren even suspects who I might have been once in another life.”
His friend – his betrothed – nodded, but the confusion didn’t go away. “I don’t just mean in a general way, I mean... like I’ve knelt in red before, in front of memorial tablet. But... it feels like I was alone at the time. It doesn’t make sense.”
Nie Huaisang’s breath caught and he felt a rush of hope that he tried to keep in check. There was a cough to his side and he quickly glanced at Nie Mingjue, who was signalling for them to get on with it, but he quickly motioned to his brother to wait.
This was far more important.
“This may sound like a strange question,” Nie Huaisang began, “but... have you had strange dreams or visions since we were in school? Like trying to reach out to someone but you can’t even see who they are, just feel their presence, but you still try to touch them anyway?”
Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened. “A... few times.”
Nie Huaisang squeezed his hand a little tighter. “The first time it happened to me, I felt the person was in pain, they thought they were dying, and they thought someone was going to crush something. This was while I was still stuck in Qishan.”
“That’s-” Jiang Cheng trembled. “After Lotus Pier fell, I was captured and tortured by the Wen. I thought I was going to die, like my parents. I felt something small, warm, that tried to comfort me. I begged it to stay.”
Nie Huaisang nodded, his eyes beginning to tear up just as much as Jiang Cheng’s appeared to do. “I tried to stay, but then everything just stopped.”
“A-Cheng?” It was Jiang Yanli, approaching from Jiang Cheng’s side with a look of concern. “Is everything all right? If you’re having doubts-”
“No,” Jiang Cheng answered without hesitation. “No, A-Jie, we just...” He looked helplessly to Nie Huaisang.
“We just realized,” he finished for them, speaking loud enough for their families to hear, “that we’ve done this once before. But I think I was a ghost at the time.”
Jiang Yanli stepped back with a skeptical smile.
Together, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng made their bow to the names of their parents, then a final bow to each other. For the rest of the day, through the tea ceremony and the wedding banquet, they remained connected even when on opposite sides of the room.
The only one to notice they were anything more than a happily married couple was Lan Qiren. He’d taken one look at the pair and exchanged looks with Nie Huaisang, followed by a short, significant nod. Nie Huaisang had nodded in turn and tightened his grip on Jiang Cheng’s hand, not yet ready to let him go.
From that day forward, even when things grew difficult, they would manage – because they had each other, as they had done since long before they had been born.
~ ~ ~
Nie Huaisang watched from the doorway as his husband played with their nephew on the floor of the play room. He shared a smile with Jiang Yanli before she patted him on the arm and left to rejoin her husband elsewhere in Koi Tower. There was a banquet they needed to attend, and since Yunmeng Jiang’s presence wasn’t necessary, Jiang Cheng had happily agreed for the two of them to watch over Jin Ling in their absence.
“You too, Yizhang,” Jin Ling called out, grabbing Nie Huaisang’s hand and pulling him down next to them. “You have to stay with us!”
He grinned over at Jiang Cheng and allowed their nephew to lead the play, happily giving voices to the various toys when he was asked. It was a happy evening for them all, even as Jin Ling exhausted himself and began to fall asleep right next to them.
Jiang Cheng began putting away the boy’s toys, and Jin Ling sleepily made his way into Nie Huaisang’s lap. He curled up against him with his eyes closed, and Nie Huaisang couldn’t resist stroking his hair back the way Nie Mingjue used to do for him.
“You’re my friend, right Yizhang?”
“Of course I am,” he replied. “Now and forever.”
The boy made a sleepy noise. “Good. I’m glad I found you.”
He blinked. “Had you lost me?”
Jin Ling’s body grew more lax as sleep began to claim him. “You found me in the forest,” he muttered. “You said you’d be my friend. So I found you.”
At first Nie Huaisang was confused. What did Jin Ling mean? He tried to ask him more, but the boy was now dead to the world.
He and Jiang Cheng worked together to get Jin Ling to bed and tucked in for the night, and afterwards, they simply watched him for several moments from the doorway. They hoped to have a son or daughter of their own one day – they were still discussing their options and had yet to come to a decision – and the more time they spent with Jin Ling, the more they thought about their hopes for a family.
“He said something silly earlier,” Nie Huaisang whispered to his husband. “He said I’d found him in a forest, and that he’s found me now. I know children say strange things sometimes.”
He turned his head, and Jiang Cheng gave him a short but loving kiss on the lips.
“You did find someone in a forest, once,” Jiang Cheng said. “I’ve never seen someone help a ghost so peacefully, before or since.”
And then he remembered, the ghost in the forest when he’d been a student at Cloud Recesses. He had promised she could find him one day, and he would be her friend. He wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist and held him tight. He’d have thought it silly to think she had been reborn as their nephew, but he and Jiang Cheng were plenty evidence of how ghosts could eventually move on and live again.
“You really think he’s her?”
“Whether he is or not,” Jiang Cheng replied, his lips pressed against Nie Huaisang’s hair, “we’ll love him either way.”
He closed his eyes, and for a brief moment, he could feel the love in Jiang Cheng’s heart through their bond.
He smiled.
He sighed.
And he was happy.
The End