Chapter Text
The first time Lando kisses him, it takes Max merely an entire night of sleep to forget the taste of his lips against his own.
As soon as he wakes up, Max finds it unacceptable. Unfortunately, he can’t do anything about it now, Lando is probably dead to the world, sleeping soundly in his own bed after finally making it back home in London.
All in all, his day starts with disappointment but a smile still forms itself on Max’s lips when he remembers how right it felt to kiss Lando.
One moment he was driving over the speed limit, trying to make sure Lando wouldn’t miss his flight. The next Lando kissed him goodbye with a soft and fleeting peck on the corner of Max’s lips, before visibly freezing midway once he realised what he did. And then, Lando was out of the car, hurrying to take his bags out of the car’s trunk.
“I-I’ll let you know when I’ve landed !” the omega told him, a mortified look still painted on his face as he waved him goodbye one last time and disappeared behind the automatic door of the airport.
Then, Max was on his own, his hand still firmly gripped to the wheel and his cheeks a deep, deep scarlet red.
Outside, the rain kept on hitting his car windscreen heavily. Yet, in his memories of that moment he felt warm, like Lando laid a blanket on him before wishing him good night.
He drives back to his house almost in a trance, replaying over and over that moment. It’s a miracle he doesn’t cause an accident before he parks his car. He goes to bed quickly after entering his apartment, dreams of soft and timid lips against his own and gentle hands stroking his cheeks.
Logically, the first thing he does when he wakes up is to check his phone anxiously.
No battery, just his luck ! he complains when his phone doesn’t turn on. He rapidly stands up and connects his phone to the nearest power outlet. His throat tightens up in impatience as he watches his phone charge and he paces nervously through his bedroom. Finally, after what seems like a couple of neverending minutes, he hears the familiar sound of his phone starting up and he rushes to his phone to type in his password. With relief, the first notification he receives is that Lando texted him like promised, just a few hours ago probably before boarding on the plane.
[From Lando 🐸, 17:36] Sorry for earlier, hope things won’t be weird between us
He answers back after a few moments of hesitation, his heart beating uncharacteristically loud in his chest.
[To Lando, 08:24] Ahah no, it was nice no probs !
[To Lando, 08:24] Sorry for not answering sooner, was asleep !
Immediately after pressing “send”, Max does regret sending those texts. “It was nice no probs!” , who even answers that to anyone ? Their lips touched ! he admonishes himself.
Still, Lando doesn’t seem too fazed by his answer and he follows with a question about the new sim ring Max wants to install in his apartment and when they’ll hang out again.
It’s almost as if the omega kissing him was just a daydream that he mistook for reality. And for a few days, Max is almost convinced it was.
But it was real.
Because when they meet again, there’s an unmistakable tension hanging around in the air. Lando is looking at him from the threshold of his door, waiting for Max’s permission to enter his apartment when before he wouldn’t even bother to knock on his door. Logically, Max knows he should probably start a conversation with Lando, to ask him where they stand. But, of course, he does none of that and leans toward Lando to kiss him on the left cheek.
“It’s what we do now, right ?” he wants to ask outloud, but finds his throat tied into knots.
For a moment, he’s starting to believe he got it all wrong, before Lando smiles at him and nose clumsily at his jaw.
“Missed you...” the omega whispers in his ears, before quickly rummaging through his bag. “Got us this !” He brandishes a bag of Max’s favourite brands of chips, one that he can never find in Monaco.
And just like that, their relationship shifts into something else while remaining still exactly the same as it used to be.
They’re just friends.
Friends who sometimes kiss each other. After all, they’re already friends whose scents have started to fuse together, friends who spend more time together than not, so sharing a few kisses here and there for comfort isn’t going to massively offset anything in their relationship.
And it’s just what Max needs. Something uncomplicated while his first year in Red Bull passes. Eventually, he knows they’ll have to talk it out, but then his first season of F1 is over and he just wants to enjoy his winter break alongside Lando. They’ve got it all planned out, a house in brazil near the beach just rented for the both of them.
He can’t afford to risk ruining this moment.
After that, his season begins and his car gives up on him almost one race out of two it feels and Lando’s stressing himself enough as it is about how challenging his first year of Graphic design course is. So, he doesn’t want to make their life more complicated than it already is.
It’s only when 2020 comes and goes by, that it occurs to Max that perhaps he never actually really wanted to change anything in Lando’s and his relationship. That maybe, he can survive the most crucial years of his career, having thousands of detractors and everything will be fine as long as Lando is there, by his side.
And then, the 2021 F1 season comes and changes everything.
The outrageous number of races they’ll have to complete this year surely is of no help to calm his nerves. Even by just looking at his calendar, he can feel himself getting tired with constant jetlag. Of course, he only confesses that outloud surrounded by the darkness of his living room, during a long night when he’s snuggled safely against Lando. Yet, he has an unexplainable inkling that he needs to brace himself for something else too, something that isn’t just his own upcoming workload he needs to prepare for.
Or maybe, if he was more honest with himself, he would realise he’s been on edge about 2021 ever since Lando sat him down on a saturday afternoon and told him he needed to focus on his studies and couldn’t afford anymore to follow him on every race weekend this year.
Yet, he has no time to delve too much into this ominous feeling when against every expectation, the first few races of the season are more challenging than anyone in his team predicted. Max spends entire meetings with his race engineers complaining about how everything in the car feels off. Too slow in corners, too draggy on the straights, too unpredictable. They would surely end up losing the championship if they kept this up, he argued impatiently countless times to whoever he was talking with in the team.
But then, he would come home and find Lando crouched over his computer, touching up for the hundredth time a drawing that already looked perfect in Max’s eyes. And like always, Lando would fail entirely to notice him. “Perfect.” Max thought each time, it would give him just enough time to go to the kitchen to warm some water.
One spoon of sugar, a few drops of almond milk and a black tea bag to steep for no more than three minutes.
Lando has always been very meticulous about his tea and while Max himself did not get the omega’s obsession over the drink, making it just right for him was a mission he was always ready to complete.
Once ready, Max would come back to Lando and observe the omega, admiring how enraptured he would be on his project. Then, he would cross the threshold of the living room. Only then Lando would startle and realise he’s not alone anymore. And almost every time, Max wouldn’t have time to lay the tea cup on the ground that his arms would be full with the omega, welcoming him properly.
“How long have you been there ?”
“Not long enough !” Max would answer each time, before rubbing his cheek against Lando in a not so subtle attempt to scent the omega, as if trying to make sure his absence hasn’t irremediably changed something in his bond with Lando.
Home , he would then sigh in relief, letting all the pent-up tension of the week-end flow out of him.
It’s all a well-rehearsed routine that they are both happy to follow.
Or at least it used to be.
Because recently Lando’s scent, an usually perfect combination of his own and of the omega’s light and homely scent has started to change ever so subtly. At first, Max is only too relieved to fall in Lando’s all-encompassing embrace each time they meet that he barely notices the change when he noses at Lando’s neck. It’s always an afterthought, wondering if the omega’s scent really seemed a bit more muffled than usual or it was just his imagination.
If it were only for his scent, Max wouldn’t worry too much, simple hormonal change can causes scents to deepen or weaken occasionally and aren’t necessarily a sign of a physical illness. But the now constant dark circles under Lando’s eyes are a constant reminder of how far he is pushing himself. How too far, perhaps.
“Hey, it’s ok, I’m fine I swear ! I’m just a bit stressed with all those exams, it’s nothing !” Lando keeps brushing off Max’s questions about those slight changes whenever he asks him.
And it does nothing but doubles Max’s worries.
So, before the first triple-header of the year, his instincts tell him he needs to make sure he remains close to Lando as much as possible before they spend the next three weeks apart.
"You don’t need to stay back for me, you know ? I can handle myself.…" Lando protests guiltily at some point when he sees the displeased texts Gemma, Red Bull’s PR officer, sent to Max after he cancelled his public engagement on Wednesday.
"Too late, I already cancelled ! "
Lando doesn't complain and only noses into Max’s neck in a silent thank you.
They go to bed early that night, Max cradling Lando in his arms until his breath even out and he falls asleep. Max remains awake for a good forty five minutes on his own, his stupid alpha instinct telling him to guard over Lando, as if anything could pose a threat to them in his own house.
Eventually he falls asleep too, lulled by the gentle rise and fall of Lando’s chest against his own.
The next three days pass too rapidly for his liking, most of their time is spent either in bed or on the sofa when Lando is not studying. Once a day, Max still manages to convince Lando to take a short walk outside. And yet, Lando remains just as tired as before.
“I’m sorry I’m not a better company…” the omega apologises on their last day together while they sit together on the balcony of Max’s apartment while the sunset disappears slowly on the horizon.
To that, Max only answers is to kiss Lando on his forehead before stroking his hair. “What are you talking about, you’re the best company I could ask for….” he says as confidently as he can, trying to hide away how worried he actually is.
Thankfully, Lando seems to be too tired after their little outing of the day to take notice of the trouble Max is faced with. If not, he would be running around to gather every blanket and cushion in Max’s house to build a nest and forces Max in it.
The morning after passes too rapidly for both of their liking and eventually, it’s time for him to take his flight.
"Come on, hurry up. You've got a plane to take and a 4rth win to clench this year, right ?" Lando almost pushes him outside of the apartment while embracing him one last time.
And with a heavy heart, Max walks to his car and already, he is counting the days until he comes back home..
***
For the next four days, Max is submerged by meeting with his engineers and with journalists. The frenzy surrounding him still doesn't make enough noise for him to forget about Lando back at home.
Even Lando’s texts, updating him once a day that he's doing better and that he’s caught a flight back to London don’t necessarily reassure him. It’s almost embarrassing really, how the idea of Lando alone and still unwell somewhere else than in Max’s home makes his skin recoil with worries.
Despite that, he wins on Sunday. Yet, the feeling of being untouchable, on top of the world doesn’t come to him like it usually does. His head should feel light, delirious with euphoria and relief after the podium ceremony.
Instead, Max is left with a deep ache in his bones, an uncharacteristic tension still in his muscles.
"Something is missing, uh ?" Gianpierro says, coming from behind him with a friendly tap on his shoulder.
Taken off-guard, Max scratches his head nervously. How long has he been standing in the middle of the paddock as he was deep in his thoughts ? « Yeah, maybe some beers ? »
"Ah come on, I'm not talking about that ! It's a shame your mate couldn't make it..."
At that, Max cannot hide the frown on his face before quickly schooling his expression.
He’s long given up on correcting people’s assumptions about the status of his and Lando’s relationship. "Yeah….Well, his health is more important…." he explains.
"Of course ! Once he’s doing better you should bring him around my house one of those days. I could cook you both a mean steak." Gianpiero says noncommittally as they watch one of their team members spray five others with a champagne bottle.
A smile appears on Max’s face at the proposition “Yeah, that could be a good idea.” he says as he remembers the last time the both of them visited Gianpiero’s house. Lando’s cheeks looked a healthy rosy hue that day, his face round with happiness and laughter at yet another of his and Gianpiero’s over-exaggerated retelling of an incident during a past race.
Only Gianpiero’s voice extirpates him from those pleasant memories. “Anyways, boss told me there was a car waiting for you outside of the paddock, you should hurry before traffic get too intense out there.”
“What ? We’re going somewhere to celebrate ?”
“Well, yes most of the team is but your car is going straight to the airport. Christian already arranged a plane for you to London.”
Surprised, Max stammers an answer. “No, no I’ll follow the rest of the team and we’re supposed to fly directly to Austria to prepare for the next race ?”
Gianpiero doesn’t look convinced by his protest and raises a knowing eyebrow in his direction “Max, no one will take it the wrong way if you go…Cleary, you’ve done nothing but think about your mate all weekend, so just make sure you’re back with us in two days and go take your flight, alright ? ?”
Max doesn’t bother protesting some more and after promising everyone he’ll organise something in Milton Keynes for the entire team, he rapidly gathers his belongings before walking in direction of the car awaiting him.
Gianpiero is right, his presence is needed somewhere else.