Chapter Text
James returned to his common room, disappointment and confusion painting his face. When his friends saw him arrive they were going to joke about it, but they changed their minds when they saw the animagus's expression.
— What happened? – Sirius took the initiative.
— I kissed him. – James plopped down on the common room carpet, sighing in defeat.
— And why aren't you screaming, jumping, and celebrating? – Remus sat next to him.
Peter copied Lupin's action. — I thought you would propose to him after the first kiss.
- He run away.
— How did he run away? – Sirius took a seat in front of his best friend.
— He literally ran away, didn't say anything, just ran back to the common room. – James ran his hands over his face, full of frustration. — It was the best kiss ever, it was incredible, but he ran away.
Sirius' laughter caught the attention of his friends.
— What's so funny? – Peter asked.
—My brother had a gay panic. – Sirius couldn't stop laughing.
Regulus was with his friends in the common room, Evan was laughing as much as Sirius did in Gryffindor tower.
— I never thought I would feel sorry for Potter. – Barty looked at Regulus with an amused smile on his face. — You left him standing, in the middle of the hallway, after he kissed you.
— Poor James. – Dorcas looked at her friend with pity.
— I got nervous, he was kissing me and I wasn't thinking clearly. – Regulus was leaning on Pandora's shoulder, who caressed his arm in an attempt to comfort him. - He probably thinks I'm an idiot.
— I would do it. – Evan wiped away the tears that had come from laughing that much.
—You can't criticize Reg, it took you a year to realize that Barty was flirting with you. – Dorcas defended her friend, smiling when Evan hid in the crook of his boyfriend's neck.
— I thought he was being kind, just my friend.
— But friends don't know the way you taste lalala. – Pandora sang, making her brother's boyfriend laugh.
— Stop behaving like idiots and help me, how do I fix this? – Regulus looked at them one by one.
— Go find James and kiss him yourself. – Barty contributed.
—And pray that he doesn't run away. – Evan said laughing.
Pandora rolled her eyes and turned to face her best friend. —Go find James, talk to him, tell him what you feel. – Pandora smiled dreamily. —He kissed you, he wanted to kiss you, there is no way he'll reject you.
— Dora is right, he was brave and you ran away, now it's your turn to be brave. – The other girl completed.
— I'll think about it. – Regulus stood up from the place he was in. — I'm going to the library, see you later.
Black got up from the couch he was in and left his common room, heading towards the library. He couldn't stop thinking about the kiss and James, how good the other's lips had felt on his own, and how idiotic he felt for running out of there. His friends were right, sooner or later he would have to talk to him, but he didn't know how to do it. First he fainted when he saw him, and then he ran away when he kissed him. Regulus believed it was impossible to make himself more ridiculous.
But then he passed Remus Lupin entering the library. The Gryffindor camouflaged his laughter behind a cough, and looked at Regulus to greet him.
— Hey, Black.
— Lupin. – It was his time to ask. —Has James...? – It was embarrassing to say it out loud.
Luckily the lycanthrope didn't need him to complete that sentence, and nodded, taking a seat at an empty table, where Regulus sat in front of him seconds later.
— I think your brother is still laughing, he was when I left.
Regulus slumped, defeated, on the table, and Lupin felt sorry for the boy, even though the situation was comical.
—Did James say something?
Remus thought for a moment, he had to measure his words well, so as not to overexpose his best friend with the boy he was in love with. —It was not something especially pleasant to experience.
- He probably thinks I'm an idiot. – In his voice Remus found the same tone that Sirius used just when he was about to create drama. Apparently it was familiar.
— I think you should talk to James. – Black had lost count of how many times he had been told that.
— I know, I know, but I don't know how to do it.
— Well, think about it now. – Remus opened a book quickly, looking over it. —And pretend you're reading.
Regulus copied him, without understanding much, until he heard his older brother's unmistakable laugh, who was incapable of remaining silent even when in a library.
—I'll put that in the speech I give at your wedding, Prongsie. – From their voice he could guess that they were approaching where they were. —Moons! You forgot this. – Sirius handed his boyfriend a book, who took it and looked at the cover.
— I wouldn't have been able to finish the Charms homework without him, thank you. – Lupin smiled and kissed the boy's cheek before opening the book and placing it on the table.
— I know. – Sirius leaned an elbow on the desk and looked at his partner. —See you later at the Astronomy Tower?
— Yes. — Remus smiled and gave a light caress to Sirius's cheek.
— Alright. – After straightening again, Sirius ruffled Regulus's hair and smiled at him. — Bye, Reggie, love you, kissing man.
He was going to walk away with the other Gryffindor, who stood by, and when he turned his back Remus gestured for Regulus to talk to James.
—Potter. – Regulus closed his eyes tightly, trying to find an ounce of courage to turn around and look the boy in the eyes.
—Reg? – James looked again in the direction where the two boys were "studying".
After taking a deep breath, Black looked in the direction he had avoided. - Can we talk? – The animagus nodded, but did not move, and Regulus wouldn't do that with an audience. - In private.
— Um yes, sure, of course. – James looked nervous, although no more than Regulus was, who got up from his chair and nodded goodbye to Remus, before leaving the library followed by Potter.
They walked quietly down the hallway, side by side, as Regulus led the way. They ended up in an empty class and James sat at the teacher's desk, not taking his eyes off the other student. —What do you want to talk about?
— The kiss. – There were no expressions to read on Regulus's face, and James didn't know how to take that.
— Yes, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it, it was stupid. – James looked at the ground, embarrassed, thinking that he had acted against Regulus's wishes.
— Do you regret it? – Regulus didn't know how his voice came out normal, he felt a lump in his throat just thinking that the other boy regretted it.
And he didn't, James considered that the best kiss of his entire life. He had been pining for Regulus for too long and if that was the only one he would get, it was fine with him, at least he had tasted the Slytherin's sweet lips once.
Nerves took place in the Gryffindor's stomach, but not like butterflies, he felt dizzy, as if he had spent many hours on a ship, and he didn't know what answer he should give to that question, the truth? a half truth? He looked up and met Regulus' bright eyes, he was waiting for an answer, and James knew that he couldn't lie to him, he wouldn't be able to, because he didn't regret it, he was dying to kiss him again. — No. — He smiled sadly, there was no shine in his smile. —I couldn't regret kissing you, ever.
- I like you, James. – Potter's eyes widened almost comically, and Regulus looked away. — Since first year, in fact. I saw you with Sirius, laughing, being you. You illuminate everything in your path, James, and it felt like I had never seen the light before, like I had lived in the dark until I heard you laugh for the first time. – Regulus chuckled. — You are incapable of being in a room without your presence being noticed, and you do it without realizing it, and it's fucking frustrating, because I can't stop looking at you when you shine, and you do it all the time. If the sun could be personified, it would be you, James, and... – After pausing to take a deep breath, he turned his gaze to James, and that shine in his eyes only confirmed what he was saying, it was dazzling. — It scares me, it scares me because you are so good, and brilliant, and brave, and you look for the good side in everything, and you are incapable of hiding anything, you are an open book, you feel with your whole heart, and James... It's terrifying to fall in love with you, 'cause it isn't possible to avoid it, it just happens, you suddenly arrive and you take over everything, and I haven't felt anything like it.
Regulus's breathing was rushing by the time he finished, and his gaze avoided James again, but his body remained static in the same place, trying to control the beating of his heart. He heard James' steps, slow and measured, approaching him, and he closed his eyes as he felt his warm fingers caressing his cheek. When he opened them again he found the hazel gaze closer than he expected, failing in his attempt to calm his heartbeat.
James was smiling, his chest warm and feeling love coursing through his veins as he looked at Regulus, who looked nervous and about to run away again. This time James wouldn't let him.
—The first time I saw you, that I really saw you, you were on your broom, Slytherin against Gryffindor, at the beginning of the season in my third year. – James laughed lightly and Regulus was infected by his laughter. —I almost fell off my broom, but I couldn't take my eyes off you. We lost that match and I hated you, I swear I hated you Reg, I could forgive you anything, but not make me lose at Quidditch. – James left small caresses on Regulus's cheek while looking directly into his eyes. — I looked at you at meals, in the hallways, and I thought it was because I hated your presence, everything that had to do with you, but then I found myself seeing you more than usual, in a different way. How you concentrate when you study and abstract yourself from the world, your laugh's the higher note when you truly do it, the shine in your eyes when you spend time with your brother, which is the same as the one that appears when you are with Pandora. And I knew that I had irremediably fallen in love with you. – James laughed once again. —Sirius was about to kill me when he found out, but he got over it over time, I guess.
Regulus's eyes were filled with tears, he never believed that James would see those details, and he never believed that he would be in that situation, with James confessing that he was in love, as much as he was.
In an attempt to control his emotions he held on to James' jersey and rested his head on the other's chest, feeling that everything fit, and that everything was right.
— Reg, I want to kiss you, but please don't run away. – James whispered against his hair, and Regulus couldn't help but laugh and move away to look again at those eyes that looked at him with adoration, a moment that James took advantage of to close the distance between them and kiss him again, with love, with desire, with all of the feelings that they had saved, and that they could finally bring out.
Regulus didn't run away when they broke apart, or the next time James kissed him, or when he started kisses.
Regulus did not run from James again, and James became the light that illuminated the path they would travel together.
Regulus would always be the heart of the lion, and James would always be the sun that accompanied his star.