Chapter Text
Between reassuring clients that yes, the shipments of fireworks this time around would not be stolen from treasure hoarders and going back and forth on booth display colors, and sale rates, and a reassurance that the Guild would help them make connections, Xingqiu fled his study the second there was an opening. At times like these when it was non-stop work, and his mother was distracted enough he couldn't help himself from slipping away.
There were more dark corners in Liyue than some would think. Knowing this was useful for his chivalrous justice but it was also useful when you needed a place to hide. He sat on a ledge between a building and the large, bricked wall that separated the lower and upper parts of Liyue. Best part, no one would know he’s there unless they went into the alley spot and stretched their neck. Maybe it was a bit hard to see his penmanship but at least now he’d have an excuse on why his handwriting looked terrible.
Journal Entry #2
‘There are tensions with Lantern Rite coming up. My mother is very stressed and is knee deep in work. It makes her more likely to snap at small stuff. Like today I rewrote some of the details about restructuring the mines in the Chasm and she almost blew a fuse at my handwriting.’
—
“No matter how much training you’ve gone through, how can your handwriting still be this bad?” It was a rhetorical question obviously. Xingqiu bit his cheek to stop from speaking out.
She huffed standing from her messy desk and walking towards her window. “I’m under a lot of stress right now. The Chen’s had me rewrite that report again, ‘something about not accounting for the weather change’.” Her hands are on her hips as she lets her long dark hair cascade forward, blocking her face.
Xingqiu walked over to her side. Stopping once he was a few paces away from her.
“I'll fix it Mother, and I'll help you with rewriting that report if you'd like.”
She sighed as she combed back her hair primly. Reframing it around her face properly. “No, I'll handle it. Just continue doing your work.”
—
‘I remember feeling bad for her. With our father gone overseas to Sumeru for a business deal, the weight of the Guhua Clan has been placed on her shoulders. But still, I do wish we could have small moments with each other. It's selfish, but I wish she was kinder to me.’
Xingqiu shook his head. Think of something else.
‘The other day I had completed another job with my dearest Chongyun. Although I love my work, completing chivalrous justice by his side always tastes a little bit sweeter. But, the entire time I felt like I was being watched. When we were fighting off treasure hoarders and even when I was healing myself from a much too intimate exchange with an arrow, my skin crawled with being too seen.’
‘I told this to Chongyun but he just awkwardly avoided eye contact with me.’
“It's just your imagination.” As if I'd believe such a terse lie.
‘After that when we were exhausted and covered in grime we laid next to a small lake. Backs on the grass and breathing heavily. I looked over to Chongyun and almost lost my breath all over again.’
‘It was no secret that he had filled out in both muscle and fat ever since he started training with the Adepti. But I couldn't help but admire how sturdy and full he looked.’
‘The words ‘well loved’ rang in my head over and over. Even though he now harbored new scars arching over his skin. I couldn't find it in myself to take back the sentiment. His cheeks were losing some of the baby fat. A testament to him growing older. It suited him.’
‘Chongyun blew out air in calming, paced, puffs. It must be a meditation tactic to help in cooling Yang energy.’
---
Laughter broke out distantly on the sun lit street a few paces away from him. Xingqiu moved back farther to hide better. Skin gliding against the cold roof tiles. He looked back down at his writings. Not really seeing them as he processed the thoughts he was having.
‘I’m simply admiring beauty.’ He justified in his head. ‘Everyone has such a unique and personal beauty to them and I, as a writer, was simply drawn to Chongyuns at that moment.’
‘It's not like I don't do the same thing with XinYan. Or Xiangling.’ He wrote hastily in his journal. ‘They're both beautiful in their own right. He was just a sap with words. That's all it was. I mean Xiangling has cute, gapped teeth that compliment her always creased smile. XinYan’s eyes always draw you in before getting lost in her fun and expressive outfits. Chongyun…I mean, subjectively, leaves you star struck. (A term the traveler had used before.) I mean where to even start? His albinism makes him stick out among the people of Liyue, as if he were dipped in snow. Apparently, it’s a trait that runs in his family. His callused hands, his pale eyes and hair. He always has such an endearing expression. Confused? Or pondering? Like he’s taking in the world for the first time every time he opens his eyes. Yet at the same time he could turn around and shoot glares that could freeze over the entirety of Liyue.’
‘You can see the impact of others on his skin as well. Yes, his scars, but also you can see the impact of the support from his clan and from The Adepti. Lots of people mistake Chongyun at first glance. They think him unfeeling. But you can see the youthful gaze of an adventurous child who had parents calling him back home at the end of a fun filled day. Feeding him warm meals. Singing him to sleep at night.’
Xingqiu snapped back to attention. Wow, that was, much more than he had expected to write. Curse his ever-beating heart.
He closed the book after letting the ink dry for a bit. He learned his lesson from the last manuscripts he'd written. Taking a second to breathe deeply. It was hard to leave moments like these. He put it back in his satchel before jumping down from the side roof. He hit the concrete with a bend in his legs, having to shake out his ankles as they popped with the strain of laying on them for too long. Once they both popped with two small clicks, he moved back into the light sun-soaked tiles and joined Liyue once more.
—
Xingqiu snuck back into his home, avoiding the maid's rotation schedule and breathing a sigh of relief once he had closed the door to his study.
There was still a small window in between now and lunch where he could finally start the next draft for his new book. The creative high from earlier hadn’t worn off and his hands danced with excitement.
He jotted down ideas and bullet points trying to think up new concepts and looking back in his diary at past entries to get some more humanizing concepts. He tried to stray away from the more traditional aspects of fantasy. His editor would have his head if he didn't heed her advice.
He wrote down his idea about the ribbon dragon but then quickly scribbled it out at the memory.
Maybe he could write a story set in Snezhnaya. The boy didn't even bother dipping his quill for that idea. With how tense the military relations were with the Fatui, he'd best not tread on such thin glass. Or ice, ha.
Wait.
Now there's a thought.
Maybe he could write about a boy falling into a lake of ice. He could be saved by some sort of ice spirit or creature. It made him think of Chongyun and he snorted lightly.
Chongyuns reaction to reading about a character much too similar to himself in front of Xingqiu was enough motivation for said boy to start writing a draft.
He wondered what face he'd make. The thought made him smirk maniacally at his evil plan.
A good while passed before a knock sounded at his door. Xingqiu jumped out of his skin as he hastily collected his journal and notes, shoving it into the bottom drawer of his desk. It took much longer than he would have liked but there was no time to think of that when his mind was occupied with shoving countless papers away without creasing them.
He cleared his throat, putting some spare documents on his desk to avoid suspicion.
“Come in.” Xu entered with a small folder pressed lightly to his chest.
“The young lady is asking you to deliver this. It's the rewritten agreement for the Chens.” He stood, taking the envelope from his assistant and flipping it to examine the details.
“I'm assuming she wants me to make ‘business talk’ to soothe their worries.” Xingqiu tapped his foot idly.
Xu let out the biggest sigh. “Don't speak like that Xingqiu. I swear I'm gaining gray hair by the second with you.”
The young boy moved past him to leave before considering and smiling evilly.
“I certainly see a few flecks of gray from the back, so you aren't very far off.”
“What! Where?” Xu mimed a dog chasing its tail as he tried looking for signs of his aging and stress.
“Ha ha, bye Xu!” He didn't wait for a response but the muffled sound of frustration permeating from his now closed door was a joy enough to witness.
—
He was walking back home to finish more grueling paperwork as his stomach grumbled. He'd have to skip out on lunch again. That meeting has taken longer than he thought. They kept asking him about the likelihood of rain and how it could mess up their shipment of flowers and their booth decorations. He could only argue back so much about how the weather was out of his control before he grew frustrated. This had been a common issue the last year. He supposed that the death of Rex Lapis was still having lingering effects on the peoples' hearts.
He made sure to throw in the idea of using a tarp for their booth. It must be frustrating though. Having your profit destroyed in the wake of the New Year. Quite an upsetting start.
The boy's frustrations grew as his stomach grumbled again. Maybe he could buy something from Wanmin?
Mischievous giggling caught his attention and very suddenly he was on high alert.
It was almost comical, the incredulous look the Guhua Clan member gave at the sight of a fiery funeral director kneeling behind a wall.
“Hu Tao.”
“AAAAAHHHHH!” The girl jumped, slumping dramatically on the floor from the shock.
“Ah it's just you Xingqiu thank goodness,” the ghost accompanying her wrapped around her hiding from the boy.
“Should I even ask?”
“You should not!” She knelt back down peering behind the wall.
“Thank Rex Lapis, my cover hasn't been broken.” a beat passed and Xingqiu kneeled next to her. “On second thought, don't thank him, he's a blockhead.”
“What?”
“Don't worry your pretty little head.” she brushed him off with a rapid wave of her hand, refusing to take her eyes off what Xingqiu assumed was her next target.
“Who are we looking at?” Xingqiu whispered, trying to pick out someone he knew from the crowd. His eyes immediately stopped on a familiar tuft of cool blue hair.
“Easy there lover boy. I'm assuming based on those hearts in your eyes that you've spotted our target.”
“Our target? Glad we’re on the same page my chaotic companion.” Xingqiu teased.
“Ooo alliteration, you must be in a good mood. Which reminds me we really should have another one of our rap battles, it’s been ages, and I just found a verse that rhymed so perfectly with ‘corpses’.”
“Hu Tao, focus.”
“Ah yes yes, right right.”
The two chaos enthusiasts stalked forward, using the harsh shadows cast by the mid-day sun as cover. Luckily the many tall buildings in the harbor made it perfect for stealth. Xingqiu found it funny that his sneaking skills were being used twice in one day. At least now he wouldn’t get rusty. Like two hawks swooping down on their prey they dashed silently on the concrete towards the target before screaming “Boo!”. Xingqiu and Hu Tao were rewarded with the delighted expression of Chongyun jumping and doing a full 180. His eyes were wide in that adorable, startled expression Xingqiu loved so much.
Hu Tao rejoiced in their victory with whooping and hollering as she punched the air and jumped up in celebration.
“Hu Tao. A pleasure.”
“Oh no, the pleasures are all mine! Now that I’ve got you here, can I interest you in Wangsheng Funeral Parlors' most recent deal?”
“Not over my dead body Hu Tao.”
“But that’s just the thing! It would be over your dead body!”
“Xingqiu! Lovely seeing you again so soon after our last excursion!” The boy stood ramrod straight as he peered past Chongyun and into Wanmin. Xiangling’s father was standing there. The boy inwardly panicked; did he see all of that? Oh, what would he think of him acting so unrefined. The boy smiled back at the older man, but something must have looked strained about it because he was returned with concern dotting the creases in the man's face. Xingqius' heart ceased at the thought of getting scolded by someone he had been getting closer with. Yet Chef Mao didn’t bring it up.
“I’m glad you’re here you two,” Chef Mao turned around to fetch something from the back counter, continuing to talk as he went. Xingqiu let out an airy relieved chuckle. His worries rushed past his lips on startled breaths. He should have known that the man wasn’t one for keeping propriety. “I was just telling Chongyun here, that I had been meaning to give you two something as thanks for the other day.”
Xingqiu couldn’t mask the surprise on his face. "There’s no need! You’ve already done so much for us I couldn’t possibly-”
“Oh nonsense! You kids are so young no matter what you may think. You can use a pick me up after a while. The world gets much too heavy for the youth nowadays.” He was pouring something into small bowls as steam rose out of the small dishes. Saliva gathered in Xingqius mouth as he tried not to drool. Yet, he still refused.
“That’s very kind of you, but really you don’t need to go out of your way to make food for me! I was happy to help and besides, I don’t take payment for assisting others.”
Hu Tao peeked around Chongyun, physically clinging onto his shoulder to use him as a pillar, “I mean if you don’t want some of…whatever that is, I’ll gladly take it off your hands.” she drawled out teasingly.
“No.” Chongyun sternly cut off glancing down at the girl. “Aw is this because I made a comment about your hair, I didn’t mean it seriously.”
“What, no, wait what’s wrong with my hair?” That poor confused kicked puppy expression was back and Xingqiu couldn’t help the thawing of his heart. No, Chongyun was the ice prince, not him. Shush confusing emotions.
“The foods for Xingqiu first and foremost,” Chongyun elaborated as Hu Tao pouted. “You’ve been busy right?” Because he was directly asked, Xingqiu nodded.
“I doubt you’ve eaten much today.” concern grew on the boy's face and Xingqius’ heart aches at the sight of it. It was selfish to wish but he loved the care he found in that expression. To be worried over so severely was something he'd always cherish.
Battling away the emotions stirring in his head, Xingqiu tries to placate his company's worries.
“I had an early lunch.” A lie of course, but Chongyun didn’t need to know that.
Chef Mao turned back around; two small dishes were placed on the counter in their personal bowls used for home cooked meals. An ironic statement if you thought about it too long. He hesitated in picking it up before Chef Mao shot him a look. He quickly scrambled to pick up the small dish, holding it delicately in his hands. His thumb moved against the rim of the bowl, going over a chipped off piece in a repetitive motion. Xingqiu stayed unaware of the many soft eyes on him as he got lost in the texture.
“It’s my wife's famous rice pudding. It always cheers up me and Xiangling on bad days. Of course, it never tastes the same now that she’s gone, no matter how many times we try.” His words were sad, and it made Xingqiu want to rush to comfort the man. But he stopped. His eyes were strange…. It struck him how old he looked. The peppered gray in his hair stood stronger than he noticed before. He froze in place as his eyes grew distant. Old memories clouding his brown eyes.
The young boys shared a look, Chongyun suddenly clasping his hand gently. All of the unspoken words shared through the soft squeeze. It must be tough, losing someone so close to you.
Having parents that shared such a deep love for one another was foreign to him. Maybe they loved each other once. After all, he's seen them hug before. Have soft whispers every now and again. Fond whispers, like inside jokes, not secrets. But those were very distant memories. So fuzzy he could convince himself he had made it all up.
He returned the squeeze of his hand to Chongyun. He wouldn’t let that happen.
Chef Mao seemed to come back to himself. He looked at all the silent looks being thrown his way. Even Hu Tao had started twiddling with her thumbs awkwardly.
“Ah, look at this old man rambling.” Xiangling’s father laughed but it held no weight to it.
The voice that came out was soft. "No, please don’t say that.” Xingqiu surprised himself by being the first to speak up. But his urge to be understood undermined his fear of saying the wrong thing.
“Feelings are a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing that with us Chef Mao. Truly.” The young boy tried to put as much earnestness into his stare. He wanted him to know he meant it. He knew all too well what it felt like to be ashamed of your own feelings. It was brief, but Xiangling’s father had shown him such kindness. That was a beautiful thing for someone older to still be capable of. Xingqiu thought it impossible. All his life he’d seen all those older than him lose that light in their eyes. But it was as if it was the opposite for Chef Mao. He radiated that happiness.
He rethought the homemade treat he was receiving. It was another extension of that kindness. Something Xingiu didn’t realize till now, was that people help others simply because they want to. Everyone is responsible for their own emotions. If someone truly wanted to give him something, that’s all there should be to it. The thought hit him like a tidal wave. There was always a catch anytime he received a gift from his mother. Nothing was ever truly his, it was the clans. Always. But this. This small, sweet thing felt like it was truly his. So much so that his heart seized.
If he wasn’t used to controlling his emotions maybe he would have even teared up. But he kept that burning feeling behind his eyes.
He went to speak again but was cut off abruptly by something light hitting his nose. His words fizzled out in a nonsensical sound. The other gave him a look before startling as they were also hit by the small light touches. Everyone looked up, a light rain had started falling from the still bright sky.
People nearby could be heard letting out exclamations of shock at the sudden light downpour. Some ran to take cover under shops that were nearby. Suddenly the streets became a frenzy of activity as people either hid under banisters or began running home or into stores. There were a select few, mostly the younger populace of Liyue, who used their coats as cover or simply accepted the rain. The distress was evident in a lot of people's voices, even Hu Tao who tried to escape by hiding closer to where the awning was for Chef Mao's shop.
Xingqiu couldn’t help himself as he let out soft giggles, holding out his arms slightly as he let the drizzle coat him lightly, the rain was like tiny kisses tickling his skin. Xingqiu never knew why but he always loved the rain. Although his preference usually settled for the dark rumble of clouds, he supposed that the light rays streaming through the rain suited this moment quite well. His eyes closed as he looked up, taking in the feeling fully.
Chongyun let himself get rained on. This was nothing new, he had trained in the rain before countless times. Besides, he was much too entranced with the Hydro user in front of him to care much.
“Xingqiu, there you are.” Very suddenly everything shifted.
The young boy snapped his eyes open and turned around swiftly. His mother stood there, an umbrella covering her from the rain. She looked as refined as ever, dagger like eyes and long hair cascading down, framing her face elegantly. The other two children grew curious. Must be one of Xingqiu’s clients. But something felt off about that conclusion.
“Ah mother,” Xingqiu tried to hide his surprise and subsequent fear at his mother being here. Everyone startled visibly at that. Especially Chongyun.
‘This was Xingqiu’s mother?’ The young exorcist thought. She appeared very casual, but her posture was perfect, no portion of her was out of place even as the wind lightly moved her hair. He had never met her before, even though they had been children ever since they were young. Part of it was partially his fault. He was an energetic kid and s[ent most of his time playing outside instead of socializing with the family members of his friend. But still, it felt like he was meeting a ghost.
“Oh,” The woman's gaze fell down to the small dishes held in the two boys' hands as they tried to cover the warm rice pudding from the rain. Xingqiu tensed on where the gaze focused on. "What's that you have?” Xingqiu was the only one in the group who caught the slight edge to her voice.
Chef Mao interjected, “Ah yes I made some Rice Pudding for these two boys because of their help around my shop the other day.” Xingqiu moved over so Chef Mao and his mother could speak directly. He lowered his gaze and covered the top of the dish with his hand, trying to keep the rain off the treat.
He looked at the two adults exchanging polite greetings as his stomach curled uncomfortably. He never wanted these two worlds to collide. He understood he walked a fine line when it came to propriety and mischief. His mother finding out fully about this side of him was a terrifying thought.
“That’s a very sweet gesture for you to do for my son. I greatly appreciate it. He has quite the proclivity for helping out anyone and everything. I hope he didn’t overstep too much.”
“Nonsense, he and Chongyun were wonderful, especially since I’ve been having back troubles recently. I had a nice meal with them after they were done working but I knew I’d have extra Rice Pudding today and they’re such great boys.” Chef Mao sounded genuine and Xingqiu gushed inwardly at the praise. “Plus, they’ve been friends with my daughter Xiangling for the longest time now, it was about time I treated them to a good meal.” Chef Mao crossed his arms in pride. Quite the doting parent that much was sure.
Xingqiu’s mother smiled lightly, “Yes, I understand how important cooking must be to a chef. It was very kind of you to provide food for my child. Especially that meal. I hope he thanked you for it.”
Xingqiu interjected quickly, “Yes of course, thank you again for the food Chef Mao.”
“Ah nonsense nonsense.”
“Well, we really must be going. It was nice to meet you Chef Mao, and you as well Chongyun and Hu Tao.” The young girl blanched at being acknowledged. Surprised that the lady even knew her name without being mentioned.
“Oh, does Xingqiu talk about us often?” She teased.
Xingqiu never talked about his friends to his mother.
That serene smile was back on her face, along with a barely there glint in her eyes. “Something like that.”
“Good evening.” With that she turned away, expecting Xingqiu to follow without having to tell him explicitly. He quickly said his own farewells to Chef Mao and his friends, sharing a soft smile with Chongyun before dashing off abruptly to join his mother.
He walked one step behind her, not sure exactly where she was deciding to go.
“Why do you always do that? I don’t like how it feels when you follow behind me like that. It’s like you're a little duckling.” She joked but it fell flat as Xingqiu quickly corrected his pace, now walking next to her. A bit difficult with the umbrella in the way.
—-
The door to the house closed and locked. Both of them changed out of their muddy shoes and into house shoes while his assistant fetched him a towel, taking away the bowl up to his study in the process. His mother wrapped up her umbrella before putting it into the holder next to the door.
As he was drying his hair, he braced himself when she finally spoke.
“Why did Chef Mao offer you food? What have I told you about doing that? Did you force him to make it for you?”
Xingqiu guffawed. This wasn’t the first time she’d said something like this, but it didn’t hurt any less. “No, I wouldn’t, he didn’t even ask if I wanted the food he just invited me to have it.”
“You expect me to believe that you didn’t whine to him about how hungry you were? Maybe you were complaining too much while you were working. Honestly, you probably manipulated him into getting food for you. Do you want to make me look bad? Are you trying to make them think I don’t feed you at this house? We have plenty of food here.”
“No, I, what are you talking about? I didn’t manipulate them.” She scoffed at that indignantly.
“You’re always complaining about how much work you get, of course they’d end up feeling bad for you. It’s not like they're doing that just because they feel obligated to help you.”
They weren’t yelling at one another, but it was toeing that line and Xingqiu took heavy breaths to make sure he didn’t cross it. He didn’t want to make a big thing out of this.
“You weren’t even there. I don’t complain about them. I swear I didn’t ask him to do this for me.” He urged but he knew she wouldn’t listen. They had this same argument once when one of their older clients had offered him a small snack during a meeting.
“It doesn’t matter if you think you intentionally manipulated them, but you did. Why else would they offer to do this? You asking for food is what’s making them do this.”
“I didn’t ask for food, I told them no, I already said that.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. He tried ignoring the anxiety flooding his veins, hoping she couldn’t hear the beating of adrenaline coursing through his body. “Enough of this, don’t do it again. I swear you act like I starve you.” She walked away briskly, leaving Xingqiu to quickly rush up to his room after hearing her own study close.
The adrenaline felt like it was choking him as he shoved himself between his bookcase and his desk. He rocked back and forth on the floor, hands rubbing his arms on his pulse points where the prickling feeling sang the loudest.
She never listened.
God, she had met his friends now. What would they think of her? What would she think of them?
The young boy spent a long while ignoring the heavy staggered breaths filling the room. Trying to focus on the rain outside. It had started falling harder outside. Impulsively he slowly got up, flinging his window open as rain rushed at him, cold winds and fat droplets cooling the feeling on his arms and neck that made him want to claw at his skin.
He’d have to clean the floor up before his mother found it soaked from the rain, but he forced himself to ignore it as the sound of the thunder shook the world. Enveloping everything and clouding his mind. Taking him away from this place.
He imagined running through it. Like he was fleeing from a monster as he glided along the current of the rain. It roared again and again but his legs would burn, and he would be shrouded in wonderful cold blue.