Chapter Text
Azulin: Hey! What’s it like being tall?
The commanders: We’ll show you
*commandant Fluffy lifts Azulin up and shows him the troops blowing up the boot camp as ‘A Whole New World’ plays*
Azulin while crying: so beautiful!
Maria’s mom: I like running near the soldiers with my magic out
*galloping while laughing* IMA MURDER YOUR ENTIRE FAMILIES, MWAHAHA-
Achuchones: Why is everybody afraid of love?
*jump scares Gordi* LOVE-
Either Sargento Caricias or Blackie after getting wasted on caterpillars: Do you e-ever just wake or- or like do something and you’re just like, “what the he- fuck is going on?”
Peludito: … hey when’s the 4th of July?
Pompon: THIIIS IS WHY YOU STUPIDDDDD-
*Music for ‘This is How We Do It’ plays while Grimaldo and Pompon clown on Peludito*
Sonrisas: If you ever wanna PLAY baseball, you gotta BE the baseball! *falls and dies*
Gordi after doing drills: Hi, my name is Gordi, welcome to pizza hu- *wheeze* Let me guess, pizza- *also falls and dies*
*Azulin standing at the edge of the river enjoying the atmosphere*
The unicorns: DO IT!
Azulin: Do what?!
The unicorns: JUMP YOU PUSSY.
Azulin: I’M JUST ADMIRING THE VIEW!!
Moffy: LET’S GO GET SOME BITCHES!
Gregorio: … maybe if you wouldn’t refer to unicorns as bitches you’d actually get some
Baby unicorn: you know he doesn’t actually-
Gregorio: SHUT THE F-
Coronel Otto: Babysitting is so easy
Commandant Fluffy: yeah I know our kid’s so quiet!
Captain Hocicos: *points at Pompon floating in the water* Is this your kid in the pool?!
Commandant Fluffy: Nah our kid can’t swim
Padre: You may now place your flowers in the casket
Pandi: Thank you… KOBE! *dunks flower into the Mimosin’s grave*
Young Azulin pointing at Mama Rose’s freckles: Look at these bumps! You got eczema?
Mama Rose: I got WHAT?
Azulin: you got eczema?
Padre at the altar: Sargento Caricias from the crowd! Go ahead! Whatchu wanna say?
Sargento Caricias: … that shit is fucking TRASH, dawg! Get the fuck out of the army!
Grimaldo: Name something you wouldn’t want the police to find in the trunk of your car?
Peludito: … pickles.
Kid Azulin: Hey, can we stop at McDonalds?
Mama Rose: Azulin, I’m making dinner at home!
Azulin: … *sniffles* I hate this fucking family!
Otto: Good night son!
Pompon: But there’s a monster under my bed!
Otto: There’s no such thing as monsters, now go to sleep. *leaves*
*grimaldo pokes his head out from under the bed*
Grimaldo: I told you they wouldn’t believe you-
Pompon: SHUT UP.