Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

••••

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

••••

“I can’t believe you’re dragging me to your kid’s soccer game. It’s not even 8 am yet!” Lauren complains as she sluggishly pulls a cooler full of water and orange slices behind her. 

Helen is three steps ahead of her with her eyes focused on the field and Milo on her hip. “It’s Luna’s first game, and we aren’t gonna miss it.”

Lauren laughs at her best friend as they park their cooler near all the other mums and dads and sit down on the folding lawn chairs they brought along. 

Milo sits peacefully in Helen’s lap, content to eat his applesauce pouch as he did not get fed before they left. Helen leans over to her friend, “all these Mums and Dads ask me every time I pick up Luna from practice,  “when’s the wedding?”, “How’s your fiancé?”, “where’s Max?”, like god, am I his keeper or something?” 

Lauren cracks a smile at Helen and directs her gaze to the field where Max is smiling and waving at her and Milo. “Speaking of Max, there’s your lover boy.”

Milo nearly jumps out of Helen’s lap to reach Max. Helen has to stop him, for fear that he might be trampled by one of the many six and seven year old football players. 

Max blows his coach’s whistle and huddles all the players together. 

Helen watches as he sends each one of them out, one by one, onto the field. He holds onto Luna for last, making her wave a quick ‘hello’ to Milo and Helen before she steps onto the playing field. She looks too cute in her football jersey and pigtails.

“Can you believe this is my life?” Helen says as she watches Milo join a group of other toddlers playing a few feet away. 

Lauren looks over at her friend, “I think you make a pretty good soccer mom.”

Helen closes her eyes for a moment. Three years ago this would’ve seemed absurd. Hell, even two years ago. But now, this is all she wants. 

She wants the early mornings. She wants to spend half an hour cutting up orange slices and buying sports drinks. She wants to clean grass stains off of Luna’s tiny shin guards. She wants to watch Max get winded running back and forth across the field for two hours. She wants to see Milo play with all the other toddlers, even if she has to convince him that sharing isn’t a bad thing. 

She wants every part of this life. 

This is butterflies.

“Am I allowed to ask about the wedding?” Lauren says, with a smirk. 

Helen shrugs her shoulders, “I’m planning it, it’s just taking longer than I thought.”

“You could just get married at the courthouse?” Lauren suggested.

Helen shakes her head, laughing. “I’ve thought of that, believe me. It’s just, there are so many things I want, so many things my mother wants, and that’s not even mentioning all the citizenship stuff that goes along with marrying an American.” 

“Why do you care what Serwa wants?”

“Because this is like the one thing we’ve talked about since I was a little girl.”

Lauren lays her hand on Helen’s shoulder, “you do realize you are going to make yourself crazy trying to please her. Do you not remember what happened when you told her you and Mo were having a traditionally Islamic wedding?” 

Helen remembers that very well. Mo’s family valued religion above all things, and Helen wanted to honor that in their wedding. It was also her way of honoring her own heritage. To say her mother was unhappy with it would’ve been an understatement. 

“Helen, just try to keep in mind that a wedding doesn’t change what you and Max have. No flower arrangements are gonna make him love you any less,” Lauren says as she directs Helen’s gaze to Max, who is making a heart with his hands and blowing a kiss in her direction. 

“He is pretty great.” 

Helen smiles at Max, blowing him a kiss in return. “So if we elope in Scotland, you won’t judge?”

Lauren feigns offense, “Helen Sharpe! You cannot elope without me! I’ll watch the kids if I have to, but I will be at your wedding.” 

“Well then,” Helen sighs, “you have officially been given maid of honor duties.”

“Oh god.”

“I expect spreadsheets and plenty of cake options by the end of the month,” Helen jokes to her best friend.

“Maybe eloping isn’t a terrible idea,” Lauren laughs. 

••••

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

••••

Max and Helen have always dreamt of a magical wedding in the heart of London, their beloved city. It’s the city where everything first came together, and even if it took them twelve years to find their way back to each other, they did. And now they find themselves in a cozy café overlooking the Thames River, the perfect place to begin planning their special day.

With a view of the iconic Tower Bridge in the background, they sit at a corner table, gazing at each other with love and excitement. The café is abuzz with the soft hum of conversations, but all they can think about is their upcoming wedding.

"London is seriously the perfect place for us," Helen says as she takes a sip of her tea. "But planning a wedding here is going to be quite an adventure. Lauren can only do so much from New York. This is the first time we’ve been out of the house without kids in weeks!”

Max grins, his eyes filled with anticipation. "Absolutely, Hels. This is our dream city, and our wedding will be nothing short of perfect—even if we spend forever planning it. I mean it.” He laughs.

They take out a notebook and start jotting down their thoughts.

"Let's start with the date," Helen suggests. "What do you think about a summer wedding?"

Max nods in agreement. He’d marry her today, tomorrow, any day really.. "Summer it is. How about June?"

A smile spreads across Helen's face. "Sounds wonderful. Now, the venue?"

Max's eyes light up with excitement. “Can I share a crazy idea?"

Helen nods, “go for it.”

“What if we got married on the rooftop of the clinic? It’s got a beautiful view of the city and there’s plenty of space.”

She doesn’t even have to consider it. She knows.

Helen's heart leaps with joy. "That's perfect.” Helen can already picture their first dance as husband and wife under the glimmer of the moonlight.

Max beams at her idea. "Brilliant! Now, the guest list. Small and intimate or a big celebration?"

Helen considers for a moment. "I think small and intimate. Our closest friends and family."

Max nods. "Agreed. Now, the dress. You're the most beautiful bride ever, but what's your dream dress like?" Max knows Helen well enough that he knows she’s thought about a dress. She’s always thought about everything before it even crosses his mind. 

Helen's eyes grow dreamy. "I've always imagined a classic lace gown, maybe with a hint of vintage charm."

Max smiles and gently teases, "I can already picture you walking down the aisle in that dress. And for me, a classic black tuxedo."

Helen giggles. "You'll look dashing, Max."

As they continue to plan, the hustle and bustle of London fades into the background. It's just Max and Helen, lost in their wedding daydreams, completely absorbed in the love they have for each other.

Later, as the sun sets over the Thames, casting a warm and golden glow on the city, they can't help but feel a profound connection to London, to each other, and to the incredible journey they are embarking on. Helen leans in close to Max.

"I can't wait to marry you in this beautiful city, Max. The city where we met."

Max responds tenderly, "I can't wait either, Helen. It's going to be the start of our forever.”

Helen shakes her head, “I think forever has already started, Max.” She cups his cheek with her hand, “you, me, Luna, Milo, that’s forever.”

Their fingers intertwine, and they share a sweet kiss, knowing that their London wedding will be the most magical and unforgettable day of their lives. The city itself seems to celebrate their love as the day turns into night, and their dreams continue to unfold.

••••

Helen and Luna step into the elegant bridal boutique, their excitement palpable. Luna's wide eyes roam over the displays of wedding dresses, and she tugs at her mother's hand.

"Mummy, are you going to be a princess today?" Luna asks, her voice filled with innocence. She’s taken to calling Helen, Mummy ever since the engagement.

Helen kneels down to her daughter's eye level and smiles. "Yes, my sweet Luna, I'll be a princess today, and you'll be my flower girl. But first, we need to find the perfect dresses."

They are greeted by a friendly saleswoman who guides them through racks of wedding gowns. Helen tries on a few, and each time she twirls, Luna claps her hands in delight.

"Mummy, that one looks like a fairy tale dress," Luna says as her eyes light up, pointing to a gown with intricate lace and a long train.

Helen chuckles, "You have good taste, my darling." She turns to the saleswoman, "We'd like to try that one too, please."

As Helen changes into the fairy tale-like gown, Luna can't contain her excitement. She starts twirling around, mimicking her mother, and exclaims, "Look, Mummy, I'm a princess too!"

Helen giggles and twirls with her. "You're my little princess, Luna."

Meanwhile, Luna wanders over to the section of flower girl dresses. She carefully picks out a soft, blush-colored dress with tiny flowers embroidered on the skirt. Luna's face beams with pride as she holds it up.

"Mummy, I want to wear this one," Luna exclaims.

Helen kneels down again, admiring her daughter's choice. "It's beautiful, Luna, just like you."

Luna grins and holds the dress close to her heart. "I can't wait to be your flower girl, Mummy."

As Helen finds her dream wedding dress, she can't help but take moments to cuddle and share whispered secrets with Luna. She asks, "Luna, what kind of flowers should you carry in your basket?"

Luna thinks for a moment, her brows furrowed in concentration. "How about roses, Mummy? They're so pretty."

Helen smiles at her daughter's choice. "Roses it is. You'll be the most beautiful flower girl ever."

Finally, with dresses chosen, Helen and Luna leave the boutique, hand in hand, their hearts filled with anticipation for the special day ahead, cherishing these precious moments together and the promise of the beautiful future that awaits them.

As they step out of the boutique, still hand in hand, Helen and Luna walk toward a nearby park. The golden afternoon sun casts a warm glow around them, and Helen takes this moment to have a heart-to-heart with her daughter.

"Luna," Helen begins, crouching down to be at eye level with her, "I want to talk to you about something important."

Luna looks at her with curious eyes. "What is it, Mummy?"

Helen takes a deep breath and smiles gently. "You know, in a few days, I'll become your step-mom when I marry Daddy. But I want you to know that it doesn't mean I'm going to be any different than I am now. I'm always going to be your Mummy.”

Luna's brow furrows in thought. "So, you'll still be my Mommy?"

Helen nods, her eyes filled with love. "Absolutely, Luna. Being a step-mom means I'll love you even more, and we'll be a family together. I'll be here for you, just like I am today, and we'll share all the wonderful moments and adventures in life.”

Luna's face lights up with a smile. "I love you, Mummy."

Helen wraps her arms around Luna in a warm hug. "I love you too, my sweet girl. And I always will, no matter what."

With Luna in her arms, Helen whispers into her ear, “what would you think about sharing a last name?”

Luna looks up into Helen’s brown eyes, “what do you mean?”

“You know how you and Daddy have the same last name, and it’s different from Milo and I?”

The little girl nods her head. 

“What if we all had the same last name?” Helen asks. She takes a breath, “what if we are all Sharpe-Goodwins?”

Luna clings even tighter to Helen. Helen never wants to let go. “Yes yes yes! I love that. Then no one will ever doubt us being a family.”

Helen nods her head. She knows that people will doubt. They’ll doubt their relationship forever, but so long as they know that they are family, it’s all that matters. With that, they continue their walk through the park, their bond stronger than ever, reassured that nothing could change the love they shared as mother and daughter.

••••

The sky has a way of predicting Max’s mood. He tries to be an interesting guy, but more often than not he’s simply predictable. Even more so when it comes to Helen. 

She’s been able to read his emotions since day one. She’s been able to calm his nerves with a simple smile in his direction. She silenced his doubts with one or two reassuring words. And she’s been able to crack open his emotions with two words. 

“Burden me.”

Max turns over in bed. He’s been sitting up looking out the window for nearly three hours, wondering about so many things. He had no idea Helen could sense his trepidation in her sleep. 

“I’m okay. You can go back to sleep.”

Helen doesn’t take that as an answer. She fluffs her silk pillow and places it up against the headboard, sitting up to match Max. 

“I know you’re not fine, Max.” Helen reaches under the blankets to grasp his hand. “Burden me.”

“It’s silly.”

“I didn’t ask if it was serious,” Helen deadpans. “I asked you to burden me—to let me in.”

Max drops his head, averting his gaze from the dark sky. “Do you think we would’ve ended up together if we’d been born fifty years earlier?”

Helen nods. “I do.”

“What about a hundred years ago?”

Without hesitation, “we’d have found a way.”

“Thousands of years ago?” 

Helen’s assurance hasn’t wavered. “Max, you can ask me this question with whatever time frame you want, and I’d still answer the same. You and I are timeless.”

Max looks at her funnily, “I never pegged you as the type of person to believe in fate.”

Helen smiles, “Can I tell you a story?”

Max shakes his head. 

“In Greek mythology there are three sisters who are in charge of a person’s destiny—or fate. That’s why they are called The Fates. The fates know when someone will be born and exactly when they’ll die. They have the ability to cut the threads of someone’s life. It makes them as powerful, or more powerful than a god. The thing about them that is fascinating, is that in Greek mythology they were only known to have intervened in someone’s life on two occasions. Only twice did they exercise their abilities beyond birth or death.” Helen looks over at Max. She gently brushes his brown hair out of his face. “They are the reason I believe in destiny. The Greeks may bring up questions about morality and justice, but fate isn’t one I’ve questioned. We are owed the good things that have happened to us, because if we are threads that can be cut at any moment, we might as well make something beautiful out of our thread.”

Max doesn’t get why every time Helen tells him about Greek mythology his heart settles, but it does. It may not make sense, but he gets it. 

“So even in a different world, where we are Helen and Max, we’d still have this?” He gestures to what’s all around them. Laundry baskets, at least three silk bonnets, a baby monitor, and Luna’s favorite winter hat. 

“You’d still be mine, Max.” Helen leans in and kisses his cheek gently, “and we’d still be us.”

••••

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

••••

Max and Helen's wedding takes place on the flowery decorated rooftop of their medical clinic in Hampstead. It’s always been a safe haven for the two of them, and they couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Friends and family have gathered to celebrate the union of two remarkable doctors whose love story is nothing short of extraordinary. Soft, classical music plays in the background, setting a tone of elegance and grace.

The officiant, standing at the altar, begins the ceremony, acknowledging the uniqueness of Max and Helen's journey. "We acknowledge the unique journey that has brought Max and Helen to this moment. Twelve years ago, when Max faced a battle with cancer, Helen, not even a doctor at the time, saved his life. Despite the passage of time and the twists of fate, their paths converge again, now as parents of their own beautiful children."

Lauren steps forward to read a passage about love and second chances. Her words resonate with everyone in attendance, emphasizing the power of love and the significance of a second chance at happiness.

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness," Lauren reads. "It is a second chance at happiness, a second chance at life."

Then, it is time for the most awaited moment of the ceremony – the vows. Max and Helen face each other, their hands entwined, their eyes filled with love and emotion.

Max, with heartfelt sincerity in his voice, says, "Helen, you are the love of my life, and with you comes a family I cherish. I promise to love you and our children as my own. I vow to support and protect Milo as his father, and to love you, Helen, with all my heart. Here and now and forevermore, I’m your someone and your partner. There’s no getting rid of me.” He grins with excitement. Helen giggles wetly. 

Helen, with tears of happiness in her eyes, responds, "Max, you are my living miracle, and I am proud to be Luna's mother. I vow to cherish and love her as my own. I promise to stand by your side and support you as we build a beautiful family together. You’ve always been my someone, my partner, and above all else, my best friend. I love you.”

As they exchange rings, the symbolism is clear – their love is unending, like the circles they place on each other's fingers.

Max turns to Milo, Helen's son, with a warm smile on his face. He holds out a ring. "Milo, you've brought joy and love into our lives, and I promise to be the father you deserve. With this ring, I promise to love you as my own son and to always be there for you."

Milo's eyes shimmer with gratitude as he accepts the ring from Max, sealing their bond and marking the beginning of their journey as father and son. It’s something he’ll grow out of in a few months, but Max has already bought a chain to string the ring on whenever it comes time. He wants Milo to have it as a reminder of this day forever. 

Helen, too, has a special gift to give. She turns to Luna, Max's daughter, with a loving smile. She holds out a delicate necklace. "Luna, you are a bright and beautiful part of our family, and I am proud to be your mother. With this necklace, I want to show you how much I love you and how proud I am to be your mum."

Luna's eyes fill with tears of joy as she accepts the necklace from Helen, a symbol of their new family and a gesture of love that brings warmth to their hearts.

The officiant then declares them husband and wife. The moment they have been waiting for has finally arrived. Max and Helen share a loving kiss, sealing their vows, and the air is filled with the sound of applause and cheers from their loved ones.

With their hands still clasped, Max and Helen leave the rooftop as a married couple. Their love story is now forever united with the beauty of London, where they first met, and they are ready to embark on their journey together as Mr. and Mrs. Max and Helen Sharpe-Goodwin

London has witnessed their love story come full circle, and as they leave the roof, they know that their journey together is just beginning.

• ••••

As Max and Helen glided across the rooftop dance floor, the soft strains of the melody wrapping around them, Max couldn't help but reflect on the journey that had led them here. He looked into Helen's eyes, sparkling with a mix of joy and emotion.

"You know," Max said, his voice a gentle murmur, "this feels like our own little piece of magic."

Helen smiled, the corners of her lips revealing the depth of her happiness. "Magic, huh? I like the sound of that. What's the secret ingredient, Mr. Romantic?"

Max chuckled, a low, melodic sound that matched the rhythm of their dance. "The secret is you, Helen. You've always been the magic in my life."

Helen rested her head against Max's shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart. "And you've been mine. It's like every step we've taken led us right here, to this rooftop under the stars."

Their dance continued, a fusion of movement and whispered words. As the music swirled around them, Max leaned in, his lips grazing Helen's ear. "Remember that night we danced in the living room of your old apartment, just the two of us?"

Helen nodded, a wistful smile playing on her lips. "How could I forget? It feels like a lifetime ago."

"It does," Max agreed, "but here we are, dancing again, surrounded by our own little constellation—Milo and Luna."

Helen looked over at their children, spinning and twirling with infectious joy. "Our stars," she whispered.

"Our stars," Max repeated, savoring the moment. The dance floor became a sanctuary, a place where words were unnecessary, yet their shared glances and smiles spoke volumes.

As the song reached a particularly poignant note, Max tightened his hold on Helen. "I love you more with each step," he confessed.

Helen met his gaze, her eyes reflecting the sincerity of his words. "And I love you beyond words, Max. Here's to many more dances under the stars—and maybe another star to add to our constellation.”

And with that, they continued their dance, wrapped in the music, the city lights shimmering in approval, and their love anchoring them in a moment that transcended time.

••••

Helen gazes at the twinkling stars through their bedroom window, the weight of her unspoken secret pressing heavily on her heart. She lies beside Max, her new husband, who sleeps peacefully, unaware of the turmoil that keeps her awake.

It is the morning after their beautiful wedding, a day filled with love, laughter, and the promise of a future together. Helen had felt a deep connection with Max, and she cherished the love they shared. But, ever since her difficult delivery with her son Milo, a sense of apprehension had crept into her thoughts.

Milo, now two and a half years old, is a bundle of energy and laughter, the light of Helen's life. Yet, she can't shake the memories of the complications that arose during his birth, the anxious hours in the emergency room, and the pain she endured. It has taken a toll on her body, and her doctors have gently hinted at the possibility of fertility issues in the future.

Helen knows she has to share her concerns with Max, but the fear of disappointing him is overwhelming. She reaches out to touch his hand, gently stirring him awake.

"Max," she whispers, her voice trembling. "There's something I need to tell you."

Max blinks, concern in his eyes as he turns to face her. "What is it, Helen? Is something wrong?"

Tears well up in her eyes as she tries to find the right words. "You know how much I love you, and how much I want to build a life together, to expand our family with you.”

Max nods, his face filled with affection. "I love you too, Helen, and I want that too."

Helen takes a deep breath, her voice quivering. "I need to be honest with you. After Milo's birth, the doctors mentioned that I might have trouble conceiving again. It's not certain, but it's a possibility."

Max's eyes soften as he listens, and he reaches out to hold her hand. "Helen, thank you for sharing this with me. I'm here for you, no matter what. Our love is stronger than anything life throws at us."

Tears spill from Helen's eyes, not tears of fear, but tears of relief, and she clings to Max, grateful for his understanding and unwavering support. Together, they will face this uncertainty, just as they have faced everything else, with love, strength, and an unshakable bond.

••••

And high up above, or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try, you'll never know

Just what you're worth

••••

The morning sunlight spilled through the curtains, casting a warm glow in Max and Helen's bedroom. Today was the day they would visit the fertility clinic, a journey filled with anticipation and the promise of possibilities. As they shared a quiet breakfast, Milo's laughter echoed from the living room, a comforting backdrop to the day that lay ahead. Luna, the sleepyhead, fought to be awake that early in the morning. 

Max reached for Helen's hand, his eyes reflecting both understanding and encouragement. "Are you ready for today, Helen?"

Helen nodded, a mixture of nerves and determination in her gaze. "Yes, Max. It's time to face this head-on, for us and for our family."

The drive to the clinic was a blend of quiet reflection and shared glances. London's streets unfolded before them, a familiar landscape transformed by the weight of the day's purpose. Max, sensing Helen's thoughts, reached for her hand, offering silent support as they navigated the urban tapestry.

Upon arriving at the clinic, the sterile scent and the quiet hum of medical equipment greeted them. Helen took a steadying breath, her gaze fixed on the entrance. Max squeezed her hand, anchoring her in the present moment.

Inside, the reception area buzzed with subdued activity. Couples, each carrying their own hopes and fears, filled the space. Helen and Max found two chairs, the waiting room becoming a temporary sanctuary for shared thoughts and quiet conversations.

A nurse called Helen's name, and they entered a room where Dr. Turner awaited. The doctor's calm demeanor provided a reassuring backdrop to the vulnerable conversation that unfolded. They spoke of Milo's birth, of the challenges faced, and the dreams they held for their family's future.

As the discussion unfolded, Max, feeling a need to share his own uncertainty, took a deep breath. "Dr. Turner, there's something I should mention. A few years ago, I battled cancer. It didn't affect my fertility that I know of, but it left me with lingering uncertainties."

He’s grateful to have Luna. He couldn’t imagine life without her.

Dr. Turner listened attentively, her expression a mix of empathy and understanding. "Thank you for sharing that, Max. We'll take all factors into consideration as we explore the best path for your family."

The clinic, with its clinical surroundings, became a space not just for Helen's journey but a canvas where Max's fears and hopes found acknowledgment. The complexities of fertility, now intricately interwoven with Max's past, added a layer of vulnerability to the day.

Helen underwent a series of tests, each one a small step towards uncovering the intricacies of her fertility. Max, a steady presence by her side, offered words of encouragement and the occasional shared smile that bridged the unspoken gaps in their hearts.

In between tests, as they waited for results, Max and Helen found moments of quiet reflection. The clinic's walls became witness to shared fears, hopes, and the unspoken bond that grew stronger with each passing hour. 

“You okay?” Max asks as they sit quietly in the examination room. He knows Helen hates being the patient.

Helen nods, “I’m okay. This is just harder than I thought it would be.”

“The tests or the waiting?” 

“Neither actually,” Helen replies. “Hope. I never thought I’d have a kid after Milo. I pretty much knew that the minute I woke up in the ICU without my newborn baby. I thought he’d never have a sibling.”

“And he’s already got one,” Max explains. “No matter what happens today, we’re family. We’re in this together. Good, bad, whatever. Remember what you told me when I was knocking on death’s door?”

Helen shakes her head. “I said lots of things.”

“You told me that the only way to beat death is with life.”

Helen lays her head on Max’s shoulder, “how wise of me.”

The weight of the day seemed to hang in the air, yet within the clinic's confines, Max and Helen faced it together.

Dr. Turner returned, carrying test results that held the key to their family's future. The room, with its white walls and medical charts, became a focal point for a conversation that would shape their path forward. Helen's eyes held a mix of apprehension and hope as Dr. Turner delivered the news.

"Your test results are generally positive, Helen," Dr. Turner said with a reassuring smile. "We can explore various options, and together, we'll navigate this journey with your well-being in mind."

Max and Helen left the clinic, the day's events etched in their hearts. The city unfolded around them as they walked hand in hand, processing the emotions that the day had unearthed. The clinic, a temporary haven, now receded into the background, leaving Max and Helen to carry the weight and wonder of their shared experience.

As they returned home, the day's journey continued to resonate in the quiet moments. Max prepared a simple dinner, and the four of them – Max, Helen, Luna, and Milo – gathered around the table. The day's events became a thread woven into the fabric of their family, a shared narrative that spoke of resilience and the enduring power of love.

Later, as they settled into bed, Max wrapped his arms around Helen. "Today was a lot, Helen. How are you feeling?"

Helen nestled into his embrace. "It was intense, but we faced it together. Whatever happens, Max, I'm grateful for you and our family."

Max kissed her forehead, a silent affirmation of shared strength. "We're in this journey together, Helen. One day at a time.”

And as the night enveloped them, Max and Helen found solace in the unity of their shared dreams, the city's lights casting a gentle glow on a family bound by love, navigating the complexities of life's journey, uncertainties and all.

••••

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

••••

The sun begins its descent, casting a warm glow through the curtains as Helen sits in the bathroom, nervously clutching the pregnancy test in her hands. The air feels charged with anticipation, and her heart races as she waits for the result that could reshape their family's future.

As the minutes tick by, Helen's mind oscillates between hope and apprehension. The test, a small device that holds the key to their dreams, seems to carry the weight of the world. The room feels silent, save for the soft ticking of a clock and the gentle hum of life outside.

Finally, the moment of truth arrives. Helen carefully picks up the test, her eyes fixed on the tiny window that holds the answers to her unspoken questions. A faint line begins to emerge, delicate and subtle. She blinks, unsure if her eyes are playing tricks on her.

Could it be? Is this the sign she has longed for?

Tears well up in Helen's eyes as the reality sinks in. The test, with its unmistakable indication, confirms the presence of a new life—a promise of joy, growth, and a future intertwined with the dreams she holds close to her heart.

Overwhelmed by emotion, Helen rushes out of the bathroom, clutching the pregnancy test like a precious talisman. She finds Luna playing in the living room and Milo engrossed in a book. With a heart pounding with excitement, Helen beckons them to join her.

"Guess what, my loves?" she exclaims, a radiant smile lighting up her face.

Curiosity lights up Luna's eyes as she looks at her mother. "What is it, Mum?"

Helen holds out the pregnancy test, and as realization dawns on Luna's face, her eyes widen with pure joy. "Are you going to have a baby?"

Helen nods, tears of happiness streaming down her cheeks. "Yes, Luna. We're going to have another baby."

Luna squeals with delight, and Milo, sensing the excitement, joins in the celebration. The room echoes with laughter and the shared happiness of a family welcoming a new member into their fold.

In that moment, as the sunlight bathes them in a golden glow, Helen feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude. The journey of uncertainty and hope, with its twists and turns, has led them to this beautiful revelation. The quiet living room becomes a sanctuary for shared joy, a space where dreams take flight and love multiplies.

As the days pass, Max remains unaware of the news. He is away on a business trip, and Helen, with a secret tucked away like a precious treasure, eagerly anticipates his return. The handmade card, Luna's drawing, and the pregnancy test hidden safely, she counts down the moments until they can share the surprise together.

Finally, the day arrives when Max's plane touches down at the airport. Helen, Luna, and Milo eagerly await his arrival. As Max walks through the front door, exhaustion etched across his face, Luna can't contain her excitement.

"Daddy, you're back! We have a surprise for you!" Luna exclaims, practically bouncing with joy.

Max, a mix of weariness and curiosity, looks at his family. Helen holds out the handmade card, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "We've missed you, Max. And we have something special to share."

Max takes the card, and as he opens it, his eyes widen with surprise. The stick-figure family, Luna's drawing, and the subtle addition of a tiny figure in the middle hold the secret they have carefully guarded.

"What's this?" Max asks, a smile playing on his lips.

Helen's eyes meet Max's, her voice filled with emotion. "It's our way of telling you, Max. We're going to have another baby."

For a moment, time seems to stand still as Max absorbs the news. A mixture of wonder and joy plays across his features, and then, like a tidal wave, a surge of happiness washes over him. He pulls Helen into a tight embrace, Luna and Milo joining in the jubilant celebration.

As the room echoes with laughter and shared happiness, Helen can't help but marvel at the beauty of the moment. The surprise, carefully planned and executed, becomes a testament to the strength of their family, the bonds of love that transcend distances, and the magic that awaits them in the journey ahead.

And so, with Max's return, their home becomes a haven of joy, laughter, and shared dreams—a space where the announcement of new life echoes the enduring power of love and the timeless beauty of building a family together.

And in the warm embrace of their shared joy, Max and Helen linger in the living room, the echoes of laughter slowly giving way to a more intimate conversation. Luna and Milo, sensing the shift in the atmosphere, retreat to their own little world of toys and games, leaving Max and Helen to savor the quiet moment.

Max cups Helen's face, his eyes reflecting a mix of emotions. "Helen, I can't believe we're going to have another baby. This is... It's like a dream come true, but better. It's like winning the lottery without even buying a ticket!"

Helen leans into Max's touch, her eyes glistening with unspoken emotions. "I know, Max. It's incredible. Having a child together, creating a little mischief-maker that's a blend of you and me, it means more than words can express."

He pictures the little boy or girl that’s a perfect mixture of the both of them and nearly melts.

Max sighs dramatically, his gaze fixed on the growing dusk outside the window. "You remember when we first met, right? I thought I was the smoothest guy, getting you to take me out to lunch. It must’ve been that blonde hair.” Max laughs. Helen ruffles his brown hair. “Now, here we are, creating a life together. It's like the universe has decided to play a cosmic prank on us, and I love it!"

Helen's smile softens, and she looks at Max with a depth of emotion. "Max, there's something I haven't shared with you about the first time I was pregnant. When I was carrying Milo, I felt so alone. With everything that happened with Mo, the last thing I ever thought was I’d be pregnant. My mum hardly supported me, Lauren did, but she was in New York. And as much as my coworkers could do, it was hardly enough. I still went to sleep alone at night wondering how to raise a kid."

Max's expression shifts to one of understanding, and he holds Helen's hand more tightly. "Helen, I had no idea. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you."

Helen nods, her eyes holding a mix of pain and resilience. "It was tough. I felt like I was navigating a storm alone. But then Milo came into our lives, and you became a pillar of support. Together, we turned those challenging times into a story of love, healing, and growth. We actually turned the tide.”

Max's gaze softens, his admiration for Helen evident in his eyes. "You've been through so much, and yet you've given so much love. I'm grateful to be a part of your story, Helen.”

Helen smiles, her voice filled with warmth. "And now, with this new baby on the way, it feels like a continuation of our story. A story that started with loss but blossomed into a tale of resilience, love, and the beautiful family we've created together."

Max pulls Helen into a tender embrace, his words gentle. "You're incredible, Helen. I'm here for you. You can burden me at any time.”

“Same goes for you, Max.” 

••••

The cozy living room is filled with warmth and laughter as Helen, now seven months pregnant, Max, and their ten-year-old daughter Luna, gather for a precious family evening. The soft glow of ambient lighting casts a comforting aura, and the shared joy of anticipating the newest member of their family infuses the air with delight.

Helen, nestled on the couch with a book, feels a familiar flutter in her belly. Max, ever attentive, joins her, his hand gently resting on the curve of her stomach. Luna, with a ten-year-old's mix of curiosity and excitement, curls up in a nearby armchair, her eyes flitting between her parents and the baby bump.

"Mom, is the baby saying hi again?" Luna asks, her gaze fixated on Helen's belly.

Helen chuckles, her maternal glow radiating. "Yes, Luna, it seems like they want to join the fun too. He or she has been kicking me all day.”

Max, smiling at the interaction between mother and daughter, leans down and whispers to the baby bump. "Hey in there, Luna's waiting for you!"

Luna grins, her excitement palpable. "I can't wait to be a big sister again!”

As they revel in the shared moment, the sound of footsteps announces the arrival of four-year-old Milo, his stuffed bear in tow. The living room becomes a canvas for family togetherness, a place where the love between siblings begins to take root.

Milo, spotting Luna, rushes over. "Luna, Luna, wanna play a game?"

Luna, embracing her role as the big sister, pats the empty space beside her. "Sure, Milo. What game do you want to play?"

Milo thinks for a moment, his eyes gleaming with ideas. "How about a treasure hunt?"

Max, intrigued by Milo's suggestion, shares a glance with Helen. "A treasure hunt? That sounds like fun. What's the treasure, Milo?"

Milo giggles, leaning in to whisper his secret into Max's ear. Max, with exaggerated surprise, exclaims, "That's an amazing treasure, Milo! Let's go find it."

The living room transforms into a realm of adventure, with cushions forming stepping stones and imaginary obstacles. Luna and Milo lead the way, their laughter filling the air. Helen and Max, hands entwined, follow the trail of excitement, savoring the magic of family moments.

As they discover the imagined treasure, Milo reveals a small box hidden behind a pillow. "Here it is, the magical treasure!"

Helen, playing along, gasps theatrically. "Oh, Milo, you found the most special treasure of all!"

Max, joining the theatricality, adds, "Truly remarkable! What could be inside?"

Milo opens the box, revealing a handful of colorful stickers. "Stickers! The best treasure ever!"

The room echoes with laughter as Luna and Milo revel in the sticker bounty. Helen and Max exchange amused glances, appreciating the bond forming between their children.

After the treasure hunt, the family settles back on the couch, stickers now adorning Milo's bear. Luna, sensing her role as the older sister, helps Milo arrange the stickers with care.

Helen, delighted by the scene unfolding before her, retrieves a bag of cookies. "Snack time, everyone!"

As they enjoy their treats, Luna turns to her parents with a curious glint in her eyes. "Do you think the baby likes cookies too, Mum? Maybe we should share."

Helen, touched by Luna's thoughtfulness, smiles. "I think that's a lovely idea, Luna. We'll have to introduce the baby to cookies once they arrive."

The evening continues with a cozy movie night, Luna and Milo sandwiched between their parents. The living room, now a haven of shared joy, echoes with the sounds of family togetherness.

As the credits roll, Milo, overcome by sleepiness, snuggles into the crook of Helen's arm. He’s been extra clingy lately, but Helen doesn’t mind. Luna, eyes sparkling, turns to her parents. "Mum, Dad, do you think the baby is watching too?"

Max, admiring the camaraderie between his children, replies, "I'm sure they're listening, Luna. And soon, they'll be part of our movie nights too."

The room is filled with a sense of familial warmth, love woven into the fabric of shared moments. Helen and Max exchange a tender look, their hands resting on her belly, where the newest member of their family rests.

Max loves the feeling of Helen’s belly when their baby is kicking. It’s absolutely magical. It’s the reminder that all the IVF shots and hormone injections were worth it. Their baby is so worth it. 

“Hey, little one, it’s your dad. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.” He’s found himself saying that more times than he can count. It’s instinctual.

Helen runs circles across her belly with her index finger. “I love you too, little one. So do your big brother and sister. And they can’t wait for you to get here.”

Max takes Luna and Milo to their beds for the night as Helen gets herself ready for bed. It takes her longer now that her belly is large, so Max handles the kids most nights. When he walks into the bathroom, Helen is slathering lotion on her belly, now covered with stretch marks. 

He leans down and kisses it. 

Max looks up and into Helen’s dark brown eyes. He can read her like a book. 

“You’re beautiful, Helen. The most beautiful woman in the world.”

She smiles, tearfully, “I know you think that, Max, but it’s just hard. My body is not mine anymore.” 

He’s heard her say that several times, but he also knows that she is overwhelmed by hormones. He takes her hand and places it right where her scar from Milo’s c-section is. He gently brushes his finger over it. 

“I know you see your scar and all these stretch marks as bad things, but I don’t. I see them as the markings of you bringing Milo and our little one into the world. They aren’t a weakness.” Max presses another kiss to her belly. “They’re your biggest strength.”

Helen wraps her arms around Max. She holds onto him for a moment. She flashes back to all those years ago, standing in front of the mirror as she shaved his head. She remembers how low he was. And now, she clings to how resilient he is. It’s a beautiful thing. 

Helen reaches for Max’s hand as she heads towards their bedroom, “better views?”

Max nods firmly, “better views.”

••••

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face, and I

••••

Helen can only accredit it to the lack of kids in her house, because at 9 months pregnant, and actively contracting, her home is never this quiet. Milo and Luna are at Serwa’s for the week, as she’ll either be delivering today or getting induced tomorrow at the hospital. Max is worrisome. He’s scared about a homebirth and he has been since Helen suggested it. It’s quiet that gives him time to worry.

The quiet of the home is shattered by the sudden eruption of guttural moans. Helen, her body tensing with each contraction, clutches at the kitchen counter as the waves of pain surge through her. Max, a mixture of concern and determination etched across his face, rushes to her side.

"Helen, are you okay? Should we call Lauren?" Max's voice quivers with a sense of urgency.

Helen, her breath catching in the grip of pain, nods. "Call her, Max. It's time. The contractions are getting intense."

Max fumbles for his phone, fingers trembling as he dials Lauren's number. In the background, Helen's moans echo, the rawness of each sound a visceral testament to the tumultuous journey ahead.

"Lauren? It's Max. Helen's in labor, and it's intense. We need you here."

Lauren, a doctor and Helen's best friend, assures Max that she will be on her way. She’s been staying at a hotel only a few blocks away—ready to help with labor when it comes. As he hangs up, Helen's moans grow louder, each sound reverberating through the spaces that have witnessed the daily routines of their lives.

Lauren arrives, a calming presence amidst the storm. "How are you feeling, Helen?"

Helen, her body coiled with the force of contractions, manages a strained smile. "It's like nothing I've ever felt before. It's not the same as it was with Milo. It's more intense."

Lauren, her medical expertise combined with a deep understanding of her friend's fears, begins to set up the birthing space. Max, his eyes never leaving Helen, feels a sense of helplessness as he witnesses the woman he loves navigating the rawness of childbirth.

The contractions intensify, and with each guttural moan, Helen seeks solace in Max's presence. She clings to him, her grip on his hand a lifeline in the tempest of pain.

"Max, it hurts. It really hurts," Helen gasps, her voice breaking with the strain of labor. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

Amidst the symphony of groans and the whirlwind of emotions, Max feels the need to connect more deeply with Helen. He whispers, "Remember, you're stronger than you think. We've been through so much together, and we can handle anything that comes our way. Better views.”

He doesn’t remember much of Luna’s birth, aside from the fact that he almost missed it because of working. He’s not making that mistake again. 

Helen, her moans momentarily silenced by Max's words, looks into his eyes. The weight of their shared history hangs in the air—a history marked by both joy and trauma. Max, sensing the unspoken fears lingering beneath the surface, continues to speak words of reassurance.

"Helen, I know how tough Milo's birth was for you. But this is different. You're stronger now, and we have Lauren, an incredible doctor, to guide us through. We've learned, and we're more prepared."

Helen, her eyes reflecting the vulnerability that resides within, nods in acknowledgment. "I just can't shake off the memories, Max. Milo's birth... I nearly didn't make it. The C-section, the fear—it's all still there."

Max, his heart heavy with the weight of their shared history, squeezes her hand. "I understand, Helen. But you’re not alone this time. We have Lauren, and you're surrounded by love and support. We'll get through this together, I promise."

He’s taught as a doctor to never make promises, but this is for Helen. The woman he owes everything to. 

As the contractions continue, the conversation between Max and Helen becomes a lifeline—a bridge between the past and the present, between fear and reassurance. Each moan, each whispered fear, is met with words of encouragement and a touch that speaks of unwavering support.

Lauren, recognizing the emotional currents surging in the room, offers medical guidance intertwined with a deep sense of friendship. "Helen, let your body lead the way. Max is right here with you, every step of the journey."

Helen, her grip on Max's hand tightening, nods in gratitude. The room, once charged with the primal sounds of labor, now holds the delicate balance between the raw struggle of childbirth and the tender reassurance of those who stand by her side.

As the contractions intensify, so does Helen's internal battle. The moans, once a visceral expression of pain, now carry the weight of a woman wrestling with the unknown. Max, his heart aching for the woman he loves, continues to offer words of encouragement, each syllable a lifeline cast into the tempest of uncertainty.

Lauren, with a mix of medical expertise and compassion, provides continuous support. "Helen, you're entering the final stage. Trust your body, trust the process. You're closer than you think."

Helen knows she’s close. She can feel the hormones pulsing through her body, and everything feels foggy. She’s losing control and losing it fast. She looks at Max. He’s been there every step. He’s helped tie up her hair, helped her into their bathtub, and he’s been holding her hand—despite it being crushed by her firm grip. 

“Max, I need you to promise me that no matter what happens you’ll take care of Milo and this baby. I need you to promise.” Her eyes are desperate and wrecked with fear.

Max’s heart breaks, “I will, Helen. Of course. But don’t think about that. You’re gonna be fine, everything is gonna be fine. I just know it.” He does his best to sound certain and steady, but even he has his doubts. 

Yet, Helen's struggle persists, a silent war waged beneath the surface of each guttural sound. The room, once a battlefield, now becomes a sacred space where vulnerability and strength coexist in a delicate dance.

As the final moments of labor approach, the guttural moans transform into a fierce roar—an amalgamation of pain, doubt, and the indomitable force of a woman pushing through the crucible of childbirth. Max, his own emotions entwined with hers, offers a silent prayer for her strength.

And then, with a primal cry that seems to pierce through the layers of fear and uncertainty, Helen brings their baby into the world. The room, once filled with the guttural sounds of struggle, now echoes with the tender cries of new life.

Lauren, with a sense of reverence, assists in placing the newborn in Helen's arms. Max, overwhelmed by the magnitude of the journey, leans in to share the embrace, his eyes reflecting a mixture of relief, awe, and love.

Helen, cradling their baby against her chest, feels a surge of emotion. The raw sounds of labor, which have once been an anthem of struggle, now fade into the background, leaving behind the sweet melody of triumph and the profound beauty of a family born through the raw, unfiltered journey of homebirth.

“We have a girl, Hels.”

Helen looks up at Max. She can see that the fear once stricken on his face is now totally wiped away. He’s in awe.

It’s the best thing Helen’s ever seen.

••••

Helen awoke from her sleep and found the spot next to her completely empty. She cleared her vision with a couple blinks and realized that Max was no longer next to her. The bright red lights of the clock read 1:30 in the morning. Helen listens for a moment, but she doesn’t hear anything. Their flat is quiet, no snoring coming from Max, no sounds from Milo or Luna’s room, and no cries coming from the baby’s nursery. 

Less than a month after her delivery, Helen’s body is sore and tired when she stands up. Her second pregnancy was harder on her body than the first. With Milo her morning sickness was mild, but this time around it had been rougher and more difficult to manage. And the changes to her body felt more drastic than they did the first time. 

Her breasts felt uncomfortably large and painful. Her belly was covered with stretch marks, regardless of how much lotion she applied. And her hormones made even the mundane things feel emotional. However, Helen wouldn’t have wanted anything to be different the moment she laid eyes on her and Max’s baby girl. 

She is perfect. 

Perfect in every way. 

As Helen gently trudges down the hall towards the baby’s room, she hears Max’s singing. He used to sing like this to Luna when she would have nightmares, and he still does it when Milo has them. It’s his way of calming them down. 

He’s done the same with their baby girl ever since Helen found out she was pregnant. 

With an eight year old and a three year old, Helen wondered how they would adjust to having a baby in the house, but the minute Luna and Milo saw their little sister, their hearts were so full. 

Helen lingers in the doorway of the nursery. Max is in the rocking chair in the corner, he’s singing quietly to the baby girl in his arms. 

“A love like ours could never die,” he sings softly, “as long as I have you near me.”

He’s singing a Beatles song. It fills Helen’s heart to hear him sing. It’s a gift he really only shares with their family. 

“Was she crying?” Helen whispers into the quiet, immediately catching Max’s attention.

“No,” he replies, “you can go back to bed, Hels. You need the rest.”

He’s been doting on her like this for months, and as much as she loves it, she hates how he thinks she can’t handle a snuggle with him and their baby late at night. 

Helen walks over to him and rests her hand on his shoulder as he continues to rock, “I just want to watch you two for a moment. I don’t see this enough.”

Of course, she sees the two of them together during the day. She sees Max try and fail to change her diapers, and she watches him bottle feed her, but it’s not the same. She doesn’t get to see his awestruck eyes as he watches the baby they made together sleep peacefully in his arms. 

Max looks up at Helen, “burden me.”

Helen’s gaze softens as she looks towards their baby, “do you ever think about how life would’ve been different for us if we hadn’t reconnected all those years ago?”

Three years, two months, and nine days to be exact. Max keeps a mental tally of the now second most important day of his life. “Honestly, I try not to. Because imagining my life without you, Milo, and our beautiful baby is the hardest thing to do.”

Helen relaxes. She moves to sit on the footstool across from Max. She watches his face as he watches the baby. “It’s just that this is all I’ve ever wanted. A family, a career, a home. And now that I have it, I can’t help but feel like it’ll all disappear.”

Her entire life has been burdened by change. At five years old, the family she thought she had was ended by her father’s abrupt decision to walk out of her life forever. At twenty-one it was Max’s decision to move to New York and their decision to end their engagement that destroyed the first idea of a new family Helen ever had. And at thirty-two, Mo’s death buried Helen’s desire to ever love someone else. Each time she thought she had it all, it was all taken. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Helen.” Max says, grounding her with his steady voice. “It will take more than an entire ocean’s distance, cancer, or even death to take me away from you. I promise you that.” 

Helen does her best to find peace in his promise. “I want our kids to grow up knowing that the rug won’t be pulled from underneath them, like it was for us when we were kids.”

Max looks into Helen’s deep brown eyes, “they will grow up on solid ground. Luna has spent the last three years of her life thriving because of you. Milo is growing up and becoming smarter and braver each day. And this little one,” Max holds up the tiny hand of their baby, “she will spend her entire life knowing how much she is loved by her Dad and her Mum.”

Max slowly passes the sleeping baby to Helen. She sheds a silent tear. “What are you even doing here if she wasn’t crying?”

Max trades places with Helen. “Thinking many of the same thoughts you are. They’re harder to fight off in the night.” 

Helen supposes that he is correct. But doubts are doubts regardless, no matter when they surface. “How do you fight them?”

His blue eyes go from the baby’s face to Helen’s. “I watch you and her, and even Milo and Luna when you sleep. I watch how relaxed you are, and that’s how I fight them. I know that if you’re relaxed, then you're safe and you’re loved and you’re happy.”

Those three things are what matter most in this life.

“I love you, Max. More than you’ll ever know.” Helen says as she gently rubs her thumb over their little girl’s soft cheeks. “And you too, my Rhea.”

Helen takes in the sound of their baby girl’s name off the tip of her lips. Like Milo, they named her after the character in Greek mythology. Rhea is known as the mother of all gods. And if their daughter can take after her namesake, she’ll grow up to be both powerful and gentle. Just like her mum and dad. 

Max presses a kiss to Helen’s forehead, “you are my everything, Helen.” 

They are that for each other. 

Absolutely everything. 

••••

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face, and I

••••

The sun shines brightly on the park, casting a warm glow on Max, Helen, Milo, Luna, and their newborn daughter, Rhea. The family enjoys a leisurely day, Milo running around, Luna pushing Rhea in the stroller, and Max and Helen relishing the joyous chaos.

Ever since Rhea was born, they’ve found themselves inside their flat adding to the disorganized atmosphere they’d already been living in. Milo is old enough now to pick up his toys, but Helen is so emotional she will hardly make him. Luna, on the other hand, is constantly begging to help Helen with Rhea. It’s all so sweet, but they needed a break from the inside of their flat. The weather is warm for October, and Max has the day off.

As they find a peaceful spot to settle, a rude intrusion disrupts the serenity. A woman, with a disdainful expression etched on her face, approaches the family. Her gaze seems to linger on the interracial dynamics within the group, and tension hangs in the air.

The woman sneers as she speaks, "Well, isn't this a peculiar sight. A mishmash of races all in one family. What are you trying to prove, huh?"

Max, sensing the hostility, tightens his grip on Luna's hand and shields Rhea’s body with his own, while Helen looks at the woman with a mixture of surprise and disappointment.

Undeterred, the woman continues, "I don't know what you people are thinking, mixing races like that. It's not right. Stick to your own kind."

Helen, her protective instincts flaring, takes a deep breath before responding. "Excuse me, but we're a loving family, and our diversity is something we celebrate. It's obvious you wouldn’t understand that, and it's none of your business."

The woman scoffs, "Celebrating diversity? What nonsense. I bet those kids are confused about their identity. You can't deny it."

Max, normally easygoing, feels the anger simmering within him. He steps forward, his voice firm, "Our children are raised in a home filled with love, understanding, and acceptance. They know who they are, and they're proud of it."

Luna, sensing the tension, looks up at Max with wide eyes. "Dad, why is she being mean?"

Max kneels down to Luna's eye level, his voice gentle. "Some people don't understand that families can look different and still be filled with love. But what's important is that we know how special and strong our family is."

The woman, undeterred by Max's response, targets Milo, who is playing nearby. "And what about him? Mixed-race kids, especially Muslim kids, often grow up with issues, you know. You're setting him up for a difficult life."

Helen, her patience wearing thin, retorts, "Milo is a bright, loving boy. His life is not defined by your narrow-minded stereotypes. Your opinions have no place here."

Milo, sensing the tension, looks at his parents with a furrowed brow. Helen crouches down beside him, speaking with comforting assurance, "Milo, we love you just the way you are. Don't let anyone make you feel less than. Do you hear me?”

Milo nods his head. He hugs Helen closely.

The woman, realizing her words aren't causing the desired effect, resorts to an even more offensive comment. "Well, maybe if you people stuck to your own, the world would be a better place."

Max, his patience worn thin, looks at Helen. "Let's go. We don't need to subject ourselves to this ignorance."

As the family begins to move away, the woman continues to mutter under her breath, her racist remarks fading into the distance. Max, Helen, Milo, Luna, and baby Rhea find a quieter spot in the park, surrounded by the acceptance and warmth of others who witness the encounter.

Once they're away from the woman, Luna pipes up, "Why is she being mean, Mum? I don't understand."

Helen, choosing her words carefully, replies, "Some people have narrow views about what a family should look like. But our family is beautiful and unique, and we love each other no matter what anyone else thinks."

Max, holding Rhea in his arms, adds, "Remember, Luna, our strength comes from embracing our differences and supporting each other. No one can diminish the love we have for each other. If you don’t have to fight for it, it’s because it’s not worth it. And I know you know that our family is worth fighting for.”

As they find solace in the supportive environment of the park, the family reflects on the unfortunate encounter. It becomes a moment to reinforce the values of love, acceptance, and unity that bind them together, resilient in the face of ignorance and bigotry.

Max turns to Helen first. She’s quietly feeding Rhea under a cloth. He knows that she feels uncomfortable breastfeeding in public, but their newborn wants what she wants. She’s a lot like Helen in her headstrong nature.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that.” Max admits. “That lady shouldn’t have said those things.”

“She shouldn’t have,” Helen nods, “it won’t be the last time someone says those things, Max. Whether you realize it or not, someone somewhere is always going to have a problem with us and our family.”

Max knows she’s true. He hates it. “I know. I know. It’s just I really thought we’d be able to shield them from it.”

She reaches for his hand, “I get that. I really do. But no matter what, we have to teach them that just because we are a blended family doesn’t mean we aren’t a real family. Luna might not look like me or Milo, but she’s family. You may not be Milo’s biological father, but you’re his dad in every way that matters.”

Max kisses Helen’s temple. He watches as Milo finds a swing and has Luna push him. They’re two peas in a pod. 

“And about what she said about Milo and him looking Muslim—really Middle Eastern, what should I do? I know you are doing a great job with anchoring him to Mo, but I feel like I’m lacking in the religious area—if that’s what you want for Milo?”

He’s pretty much rambling, but Helen doesn’t stop him. She lets him finish. 

“I feel inadequate sometimes. I’m learning how to do his hair and we play sports, but it doesn’t feel like enough.”

Helen grounds him, “hey, hey, hey. You are enough, Max Goodwin. Trust me. I grew up without a dad and I turned out pretty okay. I know Mo would’ve been teaching him how to read from the Quran and all of that, but I also know that Mo would’ve wanted Milo to choose. If he expresses interest in Islam, I’ll tell him all that I know, but for now, I just want him to be a happy kid.”

Max couldn’t agree more. 

“Same here.”

He looks off at Luna and Milo playing together and smiles from ear to ear. 

••••

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

••••

Luna wouldn’t say she doesn’t know the story of her parents falling in love, but she definitely doesn’t know the full story. She knows brief details such as her dad’s cancer, Helen’s fiance and Milo’s dad dying, and how they moved back to London. However, Luna wishes she knew more. 

“Hey, Mi, come here for a sec,” Luna says as her little brother walks past her bedroom. He’s eleven now and the same height as her—which happens to be taller than their mum.

“What’s up, Luna?” Milo asks. He runs a hand over his freshly cornrowed hair. He’s wearing a Liverpool jersey, being completely obsessed with the team.

Luna pats the corner of her bed for him to sit down. She’s sixteen, almost seventeen, and ready to know more about how their parents met. “Did Mum ever tell you about how her and Dad met?”

She figures he might know because Helen takes Milo on a once a month mother-son date where she often tells him about Mo or about Mo’s family. It's her way of making him certain about who his biological father was. 

Milo shakes his head, “not really. I know they met at the clinic when he had cancer, but nothing else.” 

Luna furrows her brow, “do you want to know more? Because I really do.”

Milo shrugs his shoulders, “I guess.”

Just as Luna is about to call for her parents, who are in the kitchen making dinner together, their little sister Rhea walks into Luna’s room. She’s almost an identical twin to Helen. She’s got black curly hair and a bright smile. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Rhea asks, sitting down on Luna’s bed. 

“About how mum and dad met.” Luna replies as she gives her sister a tight hug. 

Rhea’s eyes look towards her brother and sister, “like before you were born? Before Mi’s dad died?”

Milo nods his head, tender with his little sister, “yeah, Rhea. Before my dad died and before Luna came with Dad to London.”

“So mummy knew daddy a long time ago?” Rhea asks. 

“I did,” Helen says, appearing in the doorway. Max is right behind her and smiling bright at the siblings all together. 

“Wow,” Rhea exclaims. “That’s so long ago!”

Max laughs as he joins the siblings on Luna’s bed. There’s more than enough room for all of them to sit. “It was actually twenty-two years ago.”

Even Milo’s eyes go wide. He didn’t know it was that long ago.

Rhea scoots closer to her mum, looking up at her with her blue, patented Max Goodwin eyes, “tell us the story, Mum! Please!”

Luna nods fervently, also wanting to hear the story. “Yes, mum! Please!”

Helen smiles brightly as her three kids all turn their attention to Helen. 

“It started on a summer day at the clinic. It was my first day working behind the desk. I was nervous and didn’t really know what to do, but I knew I wanted to help people.” Helen looks at Max, “and about two hours into my day, Max walks in. I can immediately tell he’s not from England. He’s tan and blonde, exactly like every American on television.”

Max grins. “I asked her to go to lunch with me. It was a lofty idea, but I just knew I had to get to know the beautiful girl behind the desk. So we went to lunch, and she told me all about herself.”

Helen nods along, “I took him to a Persian restaurant and ordered all the best things for him.”

Milo looks at Max, “was it good?”

“Best meal of my life,” he replies. “And after that, we went back to the clinic where I found out I had throat cancer.”

Rhea glances at her dad with confusion. “Cancer? Isn’t that really bad?”

Helen brushes a stray curl out of Rhea’s face, “it is. However, before he left I found him outside on a bench. I could tell he’d been crying. I didn’t really know what to do, but I felt like he needed somebody.”

Max finishes her line, “so she became my somebody.” 

Helen muses on that word: “somebody”. “I took him in with me, I went to his appointments, and we fought cancer together. It was really hard, but eventually he won.”

Luna is enjoying the story, but something is not clicking, “if he won and you were still together, how’d he end up in New York?”

“Well, Luna-bug,” Max explains. “I proposed to Helen, and we were going to get married. But before that, I kept secrets from her. I got accepted into medical school in New York and she was in London. We had everything planned out to stay in London, but I threw a wrench in that plan.”

Helen bites her lip, “he asked me to move to New York, and I told him that I couldn’t. And that’s how we ended up apart.”

Rhea frowns, “that’s so sad!”

Helen shakes her head, “not really, my Rhea. If we had gotten married I wouldn’t have gotten to spend those years with Mo and had Milo. Max wouldn’t have had Luna, and we wouldn’t be a family. It all worked out the way it was supposed to.”

Milo leans his head against his mum’s shoulder, “and then we found our way back to each other.”

Luna grins, “Milo was just a baby, but I remember meeting Helen for the first time. And she looked exactly like her picture.”

Max raises a brow, “what picture?”

Luna’s eyes widen, “don’t get mad, Dad. But when I was a kid and Georgia had just left, I found you staring at Helen’s picture one night. I took it from you and kept it. I would look at it every night and think about how maybe one day the lady in the picture would be my new mum.” 

Max feels a tear prick his eye, “I’m not mad, Luna. If anything, I’m happy you found that picture. The picture of the day your mum took me around London, fulfilling her promise.”

Helen remembers that day so fondly. “That day was perfect, but not as perfect as this right here.”

Milo rolls his eyes, “as sappy as ever, Mum.”

Max looks at all his kids. Luna is fully grown now, and she’s a beautiful young woman. She’s everything that Helen raised her to be. Milo is still the same inquisitive and energetic boy Max met all those years ago. He’s beginning to look more and more like Mohammed, and Max is proud of that. He’s proud that Milo knows who his family is, and shares his identity with them. And Rhea, their baby girl, is growing up so fast. It feels like just yesterday they were changing her newborn size diapers. She’s just like Helen, in almost every way, and she’s growing up surrounded by the best brother and sister in the world. 

They’re family. They’re perfect. And they’re home. 

Through it all, they found their way back together.

“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun.”