Chapter Text
- [DAY 119]
It’s been almost a month since my last update. Funny, life has been so crazy for me, I thought I wouldn’t come back to this journal for at least a year. But I suppose there’s no shame in admitting I miss writing down my thoughts at the end of the day, it was a sizable break; I am not, by any means, feeling less exhausted. But I could use a distraction.
I spent the last three hours reading my entries from Day 1 to my latest entry, it felt like a long trip down memory lane. My good days, my bad days, horribly tired days, and days where I would rather do nothing but daydream about how I fumbled my confession to Oliver. I felt like such an idiot, and I still do. Re-reading it made for a good chuckle – but I stopped to really think when I realized past Monroe left me a sizable list of predictions as well as a few parting questions:
“ How are you, how is Oliver? And are you happy with your life? ”
How am I?
Tired. I’m tired. Mentally, emotionally, but somehow I’m still physically stable.
How is Oliver?
He’s doing a lot better than I am, all things considered. He hasn’t collapsed yet.
Am I happy with my life?
Legal assistant by day, vigilante by night; getting no more than 3-4 hours of sleep and trying to balance a relationship. Do I wish I could black out and never wake up until my body feels like it? Absolutely. But my Ollie would be lonely while I pretend to be Sleeping Beauty. As long as I have his company and his affection, despite the aches and pains, I am ecstatic with my life.
As much as I would like to write all that has happened to me during my time away, there’s simply too much to regale and I have prior engagements to get to tonight, I only stopped to journal my return because I was in a writing mood. Another question I’d like to answer that my past self didn’t ask: Is Lysandre okay? – He’s okay. My workload doesn’t mean we’ve stopped being friends. If anything, it means he’s stopped by to check up on me more often. He’s the little brother I didn’t ask for but don’t want to spend a day without. I should think of a way to pay back his kindness the next time I see him. He’s a sweet tooth so he’s not difficult to buy for.
For now, I should go.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 121]
Lysandre and I had our weekly meet-up, per usual. But there’s something about him today. While I’m not so fond of children to the same degree as my ‘little brother’ is, he reminds me of the little ones when they can hardly contain their excitement. It also reminded me of Claudia when she’s asked to keep a secret - perhaps that’s what is happening. But what secret could he possibly have? He already told me about his business with the Liyuen merchant and I expressed how proud I was of him. It can’t be that. Perhaps he’s encountered another admirer that took it too far and he’s too scared to ask for my help to negate the situation. I don’t think it could be that either. He has that stupid-looking grin on his face, and if my eyes don’t deceive me - he’s physically vibrating. I’m very certain he didn’t take a sip of my coffee by accident. Something is up.
Oliver is also acting quite strange. He’s smiling more than usual. Breakfast, lunch, and even at dinner he’s keeping a fixed gaze on me. I’m quite certain I didn’t have anything on my face, nor is my hair out of place (there is no room for split-ends on my perfect coif). Even Louane and Annette noticed it too, and they’re giggling about it like schoolgirls. They must think this whole thing is adorable. Don’t get me wrong, Oliver is a gentleman, as to be expected of a man born and raised in Fontaine; but he has his quirks, catching him staring at me with a goofy grin is one of the cuter quirks. Even then, Oliver exited work quite early today too - saying he had an errand to run. Since when did the youngest son of the Kingsman Family run errands?
Alas, all that speculation does nothing for me. So I guess I’m staying in late by myself again. Glad to know there’s been no major development in that regard, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep oneself busy while the world goes by. And if work gets too overwhelming, I brought some books to read from home. It’s actually an advice I took from Lysandre, he mentioned passingly that he always has a novel close by when he’s tired from work - a quick escapism, as he calls it. The title of this particular one is called “The Boar Princess”, it was highly recommended to me by Mondstadters living in Fontaine. So far I was only able to find the first four volumes, and there’s seven I believe. Well - it can’t hurt to read them first and track the rest down later. Perhaps this quaint little story can give me some peace of mind.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 124]
I had planned to visit Café Lucerne today during my lunch break, but by some misfortune it started raining. Whatever trials are going on at the Opera Epiclese, it must be a grim one to attract such bad weather. But I suppose having lunch at the Hotel Debord is a better option than sitting outside in the pouring rain. I’ve only been at the Hotel Debord a handful of times. Oliver's sisters were invited to sing here from time to time, but the top charts were always that magic duo. Their name escapes me, but Claudia has been begging me to come see a show with her for ages and I could never make the time. All that ‘sleight of hand’ and ‘smoke and mirrors’ aren’t all that attractive to me to be completely honest. Perhaps I can make it up to Claudia when her birthday arrives.
Oliver’s strangeness continues, but today I caught him meeting up with Lysandre to discuss something. Those two don’t often interact, so seeing them whispering to one another has my suspicions raised. Will I call them out on it? I could. But I’m not going to. Why? Because they’re going to deny they were discussing anything noteworthy, and in the end I will leave that conversation empty-handed. So I chose to go another route and return to my work, whatever it is that has them giggling and looking at me with those goofy smiles - it’s probably some kind of surprise. But what kind of surprise could it be, since it’s nowhere near my birthday. A special date? But why would Oliver discuss something like that with Lysandre, it doesn’t quite make sense. I’m just going in a mental circle at this point.
In other updates, I just finished the first three of the four volumes of the “Boar Princess”, my secretary saw them and went out of her way to scour the remaining three volumes for me. She didn’t have to but she said she wanted to, because she’s read it and really enjoyed it. But she did hint to me that the ending of the final volume could catch me off guard. At least she’s not spoiling the ending for me.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 132]
Excuse the lack of updates, since there was nothing to update. But I simply wanted to write this down because if I didn’t, I won’t be able to sleep tonight. While meeting with an informant from the Guild of Thorns, he mentioned passingly that he spotted Oliver at the jewelers not too long ago but thought I had already known. I asked why he felt the need to bring it up, and he said:
“Aside from his earrings, I don’t often see the boss wearing jewelry. So I thought it was either for you or his mother”
Jewelry, for me? I was sure I misheard, but my hearing has never failed me. Usually a jeweler would be called to the Kingsman Family’s estate if Mrs. Kingsman or the twins wanted something new to wear. I don’t wear jewelry, I never liked the idea of wearing jewelry either. So why would Oliver go out of his way to buy me something knowing this fact?
Could he be– it’s preposterous. It’s too soon, we’ve only been dating for no more than a year, it would be rushing things. My parents, to my knowledge, took almost a decade of knowing each other before tying the knot. Claudia's parents had at least five years under their belt before marrying. Look at me, I thought writing this down would ease my thoughts - now they’re racing a thousand miles a minute! Calm yourself dammit!
Speaking of Claudia, my aunt Adda’s birthday is coming up in two weeks. I should speak with my cousin first thing in the morning regarding presents and how much to pack for this trip. (We discuss how much to pack each year because Natlan is quite far from Fontaine, and its heat is not welcoming - I don’t want to be lugging anything too heavy that’s for sure). On the topic of the heat, I should also prepare something to wear that’s accommodating to traveling weather. There’s no way my current suit will be comfortable in the long haul, and Claudia will have to sacrifice her favorite dress for a pair of pants (not that she minds). I’m not leaving my fedora behind though, if there’s one crucial thing I need in Natlan it’s a reliable hat! I refuse to have a head so hot you could cook eggs on it.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 135]
Lysandre was a no-show all day today. I'd ask his compadre Oliver but he doesn’t seem to know either. I would go looking for him if I didn’t have five whole case files to sift through: suspected animal trafficking, inappropriate behavior towards Melusines, a museum curator suspected of art theft – the list goes on. And my mother wonders why I don’t get enough sleep. Animal trafficking and art theft I can grasp, but inappropriate behavior towards Melusines? We have some sickos wandering the streets it would seem. But that’s not for me to worry about; I just have to organize the main points in order, get in contact with clients for an appointment, and make a copy to hand over to the Chief Justice.
It only took me six hours to get everything done, an extra two just to copy everything down into a neat folder for Monsieur Neuvillette. I should invest in a typewriter, as much as I admire my handwriting, I don’t want to get carpal tunnel. As for my journal, I will continue to keep it strictly handwritten; there’s a certain charm about a handwritten journal in my opinion. But I digress, if I wanted a typewriter for my desk I would have to make a special request with the law firm’s bookkeeper - technically it counts as a business expense. Make that ‘expenses’, because I think Oliver would also benefit from having his own typewriter, the amount of times I see him writing at the speed of sound that he nearly tips the ink jar over when he goes for a dip. We have to get with the times, there’s technology available to us Fontanians and we should use it as it was intended for.
As for the Guild mission tonight, nearly got caught by a Gardemek. Those things are clunky but they’re quick when they want to be. This was an oversight on my part, recently a neighborhood in the vicinity of the Steambird publication house has reported break-ins and the thief reportedly wore a red coat. Any other day I’d assume this was a Fatui and have someone call for Lysandre (kid loves to interrogate these colorful folks) - but upon further inspection, intel. came in with a torn piece of the thief’s coat - probably from the coattail, and it’s Fontaine fabric. We either have a run-of-the-mill local thief, or someone out of town running robberies while dressed as a Fontainian citizen. Looks like I’ll be busy the next few days. As much as I trust the gardes - or as we’ve repeatedly been calling them - peacekeepers, I think this falls under the qualifications of us ‘vigilantes’.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 137]
That request came and went by rather quickly. Samantha informed me this morning that The Steambird is willing to give Oliver and I two of their unused typewriters that’s been sitting in the publication house’s storeroom. They’re unused and brand new. I can’t wait to get my little fingers on them and get a feel for this new device that’s about to save me from another day of aching wrist.
Other than that, I received something wonderful in the mail this morning - a letter addressed to Claudia and my uncle Antonio from Natlan. It was from Javier! He’s the son of my aunt’s next door neighbor, he’s like a cousin to us. But I don’t know him as closely as Claudia since she used to travel between Natlan and Fontaine to be with each parent as a child. I was told Javier used to have a crush on Claudia. But anyway, the letter went along the lines of: “Hi Claudia, it’s Javier! I will be coming to personally pick you up from Fontaine! As I am writing this letter, I’m getting ready to depart. Hoping to see you soon! P.S. pray I don’t get lost trying to find you!” - the P.S was not comforting to say the least. Since I’m at the office at all hours, the responsibility of greeting Javier at the aquabus station falls onto Claudia. I should treat her to lunch as my way of thanking her.
The typewriters came to the office by noon, and it’s every bit as impressive as I thought it would be. Of course, being a property of The Steambird, it was of the utmost highest quality - not like those rustic-looking ones in our accountant’s office. No offense to our accountant. The outer body was a gorgeous red lacquer wood and the keyboard were circular white buttons with a silver metallic trim; the platen knob and paper roller have yet to meet a drop of ink. It’s absolutely gorgeous. I am drooling at this thing like a photographer would drool over a Kamera. It tickled me pink to test this thing out on my first batch of paperwork of the afternoon, luckily it wasn’t anything important - just paperwork regarding a previous case that just wrapped up. Kingsman Law Firm likes to have written paperwork about finished cases to look back on (Sir Kingsman’s words, not mine).
As for tonight, Guild duty continues - but I informed my agents well in advance I would not be with them until dawn since I would be traveling soon and need to get some sleep. A majority of them being youths, they were very reassuring that they’ll do their best at patrolling while I’m away. And who says today’s youths aren’t admirable?
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 139]
We are officially setting off for Natlan tomorrow morning, Javier arrived very early this morning at the crack of dawn. By the time my mother awoke to open up shop, Javier was already at the door, startling my poor mother to bits. Luckily Claudia informed her in advance that he would be coming so he was able to catch Claudia at the breakfast nook. I met him on my way out to work, he hasn’t changed a bit. Well, perhaps a little. Javier grew his hair out a bit, I noticed a short ponytail protruding from the back of his head and I think he had a stubble. We exchanged a quick hug and he bid me a good day at work (if only Claudia would give me the same courtesy every morning. I’m joking).
While I was at work, Claudia and Javier talked for hours till breakfast went cold. And because customers don’t often flood into a tailor’s workshop early mornings, Claudia took this opportunity to give Javier a tour of Fontaine while meeting up with friends (said friends kept mistaking Javier for Claudia’s boyfriend, wouldn’t that be the scoop of the day). He took it like a champ I was told, admitted his childhood crush to Claudia, but now views her like a cousin or a sister. They stopped by Café Lucerne for snacks, went sightseeing, rode all three aquabus lines for the fresh air, and partook in a show at Hotel Debord. Those two definitely had more fun than me and my new typewriter (yes I’m still going to flaunt it).
Around the late evening, Claudia did bring Javier to my place of work just so he knows I’m no longer a seamster. He was kind of sad, even said “I can’t believe you gave up your needle and thread for law books and paperwork!” - just because I don’t work there full-time anymore doesn’t mean I gave it up. I still help with the sewing if my mother is overworked. For the time being, Claudia and I both agree to omit my relationship to Javier. The timing of everything isn’t right yet, I don’t know when it will be but I have a feeling the Archons will give me a sign. Our honored guest couldn’t stick around long since there was nothing for him to do at the law firm. The duo went straight home and made me promise to be home in time for dinner. No promises.
Seeing as I had travel plans tomorrow, Oliver permitted me to leave work earlier than I usually would, and gave me a nice long kiss good luck for my journey in the morning. I love this big lug. Because of him, I made it home two hours before dinner. It gave me enough time to put my belongings away and get a good soak in the tub. Dinner was magnificent, nothing can beat my mother’s home cooking. I’m going to miss it the most during my two weeks away - this doesn’t insinuate that my aunt Adda is a terrible cook. She tends to go overboard with her spices. I’ll leave it at that.
That reminds me. I think I’ll bring my journal along. Though there won’t be much to chronicle since this is a familial visit, I’ll be sure to jot down when I get the chance. But alas, I must slumber. I can’t be groggy in the morning, it’s not a good start to the trip!
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 140]
We are officially setting off to Natlan. As I am writing this, we are already mounted on Sumpter Beasts bound for the Nation of Pyro. Lysandre promised he would be up early to see us off, but it would seem my dear apprentice slept through that promise. Typical Lysandre, it’s not like I can blame the boy either. I just hope he won’t feel bad when he finally does wake up and realize Claudia and I are long gone into our trip. I should bring him back some souvenirs so he doesn’t feel bad about sleeping in. As for the two of us, we’re going to enjoy this breeze while we still have it. Archons know I won’t be feeling this coolness for two long weeks while in Natlan. You would think, visiting my aunt annually for her birthday, I would be used to the hot air by now. But some things you never really get used to.
Aunt Adda is a real go-getter in her youth from all the stories my uncle Antonio tells me. She loves her friends, her family, her tribe; and she has always been a lover of the outdoors. As a child she was a self-proclaimed adventurer, and she was very good at sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, so to speak. She was approached by the Adventurers’ Guild at some point, inquiring if she would like to register to become an official adventurer - she turned them down, announcing that she would rather go where she wants to, not where some fancy guidebook tells her to go. I really admire her for that.
The trip would take us no more than three to four days if we travel without stopping, sadly as sturdy as these Sumpter Beasts are, they also need to eat and sleep. Our travels to Natlan is the only time I ever get to experience camping, compared to Lysandre who relishes being outdoors any chance he gets. I’m not ashamed to say I prefer the city compared to the wilderness. There are no bugs, no Hilichurls, no Slimes, and I would be in a proper bed. Beggars can’t be choosers. And besides, the sooner we get to Natlan, the sooner I can experience being in a bed again.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 143]
We arrived in Natlan at the break of dawn, when the breeze was much warmer and more tolerable. Claudia slept most of the final stretches of the trip. I don’t know how she managed to nod off in such weather but I guess that’s her Natlan genes for you. We were welcomed with open arms by our aunt’s tribe the moment we got off our Sumpter Beast. I hear the people of Natlan can be quite apprehensive but I suppose when you visit once a year, the heart begins to grow fonder. Of course that is just me theorizing. Aunt Adda looked as radiant as the last time we saw her, but to Claudia this was her mom - and you can’t help but feel lighter than air seeing these two reunite.
Claudia and I have our own respective guest rooms to stay in, we used to bunk with one another until the former got sick of me always getting up earlier and making ‘morning ruckus’. If you count making my bed and morning reading ruckus. But fairplay to her, sometimes I pace around my room when I read. It's a habit of mine that had been pointed out to me years ago but I couldn’t stop. That was enough incentive for my aunt to dedicate an unused guest room to me. It was furthest down the hall and a great view for sunrise and sunsets. It was also the most secluded, making my reading and pacing unheard of to the rest of the family. Even if we still had bunked together, I think I would’ve made the initiative to move on my own because of how much ‘knickknacks’ my beloved cousin likes to bring along. How many accessories do you need for a two-week trip, and in a nation known for their scorching climate no less?! You know what, never mind. We no longer share the same room and I would rather not hear her talking in her sleep. Claudia hates it when we ask: “Do you know what you said in your sleep last night?”. She will either find something to throw at me or storm off. I sound extremely mean, but everyone in the family knows it - I’m usually the only person that points it out.
Enough about our living accommodations and how I needlessly tease my cousin. Today we got a change of clothes and went around my aunt’s tribe saying hello to everyone. It’s only good manners. Of course, Javier was there and he was so happy he practically dragged us all over the place. It was like being tugged by a child running ahead of you and they really, so badly, wanted to show you something amazing. Chronicling everything we did would do the experience an injustice but let’s just say - by the time we got back for dinner, Javier was still bouncing about while Claudia and I retired to our rooms with aching feet.
What a great first day back. I’m going to bed now.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 146]
Time really flew by. I was so happy to be with my aunt, I never checked the time or my journal. It feels so relaxing letting loose; no paperwork, no clients to deal with, and no nosy attorneys that think they’re all that just because they’ve been working years prior to you. But that’s the up-side. The down-side is that I miss my Ollie. I'm sure if I were to tell Claudia this she would say “I knew you’d say that”; can she really blame me? This is my first trip out of Fontaine where I now have a significant other whom I usually spend every waking moment with. It will be a strange two weeks not waking up to seeing him still asleep next to me. But while I’m here I might as well grab a souvenir for him - Claudia suggested the idea of going to the market so accompanying her wouldn’t hurt. Plus, Javier is going with us too. He told us there are some new stalls and he wanted to introduce us to the stall owners.
Turns out those stall owners were members of his family, distant uncles and cousins and whatnot; their items ranging from ceramic clay pots to windchimes and some handmade toys. I thought the pot might be a great present for Lysandre but that would be too obvious. But I bet his nephews would enjoy having new toys from another nation. Scurrying not too far from where I was, Claudia was gawking hard at some jewelry (like she doesn’t have enough at home) - but she justifies it as “I’m getting them for Mrs. Dubois. So mind your tongue!”. I wouldn’t dream of crossing you, dear cousin. Javier would reconvene with us with decorative charms, trying to sell it to us as a really popular item with the older folks. I guess there’s Mr. Alexei’s gifts since the man is quite difficult to shop for. I had no idea what to get Lysandre yet, Javier and Claudia were quite stumped too; so we all made a mental note to come back to that later.
That night was my aunt Adda’s celebration; the whole tribe prepared for it like a miniature festival. So much meat, vegetables, and drinks. From a distance I can already smell the spices for seasoning, it’s tempting my nose to sneeze but I did my best to hold it in. Probably not my smartest decision because my nose really hurt during the whole celebration. We had beef stew, skewers, and barbecue - and while we ate, musicians were in the background, amplifying the happy atmosphere. While I ate, Claudia and I were surrounded by the little ones who asked what Fontaine was like. Claudia hammed it up a bit, because of course she would, their eyes lit up like stars and their gasps of astonishment only made my smile grow. A curious little boy, I surmise he was the youngest of the group, pointed to my engagement ring and asked about it. As much as I wanted to gab, I made sure to remind the children I want to keep my love-life private. I expected them to put up a fuss, I guess I underestimated them. They all nodded and were very understanding, then ran off to get themselves more food.
I don’t remember how long the party went on for, but Claudia went to bed before me because (for some reason) spicy food makes her sleepy, and on a full stomach the effect was amplified. In Natlan, the tradition of a birthday cake isn’t common; but my aunt Adda kept her celebratory face paint on the entire party. It felt more like a thick paste than paint, I say this with confidence because Javier talked me into getting some subtle decor on my cheeks. It was very difficult to wash off. I was so tired I’m tempted to go to bed with some bits of this face paint still on me. The music is beginning to dim down, and a majority of the guests have returned home. No better time now for getting some sleep. The party was fun. I can’t wait to tell Ollie about it.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 155]
That trip was amazing. I wouldn’t say it was better than last year’s but credit where it’s due; Natlan knows how to hold a celebration. We got back quite early yesterday, around the crack of dawn to be precise. By the time we arrived back in Fontaine, we were the first round of passengers to board the aquabus. Even Aeval was surprised to see riders this early. But we were exhausted, hauling bags of belongings plus souvenirs; we weren’t expecting our families to be up for another two or so hours. Surprisingly, my father was the first one up to greet us. I asked why he was up before his alarm, his response: “Something in my body was telling me to get up. So I got up. And now here you two are!”. Kudos to you, bodily sense. For a moment, Claudia and I were quite scared of waking anyone up that early in the day.
We never even made it up to our room, Claudia and I simultaneously agreed to pass out in the living room because we couldn’t be bothered to trek upstairs. We both kicked off our shoes, grabbed the couch pillows and blacked out like a dead candle. According to my mother, this is the first time she’s seen the two of us sleep in the same room; we haven’t done such a thing since we were children. To be fair, Claudia is four years older than me. As she grew older, naturally she will want her own privacy. That’s when I had to get used to sleeping in my own room, the first night I slept alone. I was angry the first two to three days that “the adults were trying to separate me from my cousin”, but on the fourth day I had to accept the fact that Claudia liked having her own room and that meant I had to start liking my own room too. Now, as an adult, privacy means so much to me (despite sharing a room with a fiancé from time to time).
I’m going on a tangent, anyway – Lysandre also overslept coming to welcome me back to Fontaine. I say ‘welcome me back’ even though I’d been back since dawn, but really just coming to see me at home before work (yes, I immediately went back to work, don’t be so surprised). But Claudia gave him his bag of souvenirs on my behalf. It felt so nice to breathe in that fresh Fontaine air, even fresher so was getting a hug from my Ollie after two whole weeks. He had everything from my favorite cup of coffee on my desk, my typewriter had been dusted and polished, not to mention the cushion on my chair had been fluffed. I have never felt so spoiled before. But this is a day for me to relax and get back into the groove of being flooded by paperwork again. Fine by me, I consider reading a form of relaxation; even if it’s work-related.
~*~*~*~
- [DAY 158]
For some reason I feel the air is getting purer around here, I don’t know if I’m imagining it. But the aura around the office has been feeling much happier and it’s having an effect on me. I don’t usually feel happy at work, not with the case files we get on the daily basis; for some reason Oliver has been having this daydreamy look whenever he thinks I’m not looking. When I met up with Lysandre, he also had that daydreaming look about him too! What contagious bug is going on around Fontaine, and have I already been infected. I asked him what was going on, and all he responded to me was: “Oh, I just slept really well last night”. I won’t argue against getting a good night’s rest, but for him to be harboring that stupid smile? For some reason I am not buying it. Something is definitely up, and as I am writing this down - I now have butterflies in my stomach.
I brought this up with Ollie, and in the sweetest way possible, he told me the butterflies in my stomach could be the universe trying to tell me something amazing was underway. Something so exciting, so joyful, the body can sense it before it even happens. I have never heard anyone describe it in such a way before. As a child, whenever I had butterflies in my stomach it was in anticipation of my birthday or a big holiday; never for something that hasn’t happened yet. But now it’s keeping me from sleeping. I didn’t even bring work home with me tonight, for once I am sitting with a free night on my hands. Not even a single mission from the Guild either; this silence is appreciated but it makes the mind run. I don’t know if I like it.
It is currently midnight, I should put my journal and then myself to bed. Yet another early morning at the office and this is one of the few chances of me getting any peaceful rest. I desperately beg that this notion of something exciting happening soon doesn’t keep me up at night.
~*~*~*~