Chapter Text
Mista had bought a lot of roses, twice a year he spent as much as he could on flowers. For Narancia's birthday and also for his death anniversary. Giorno had grown flowers all year long, vines of flowers that twined elegantly around their graves, but still Guido wore flowers. Fugo did too, but it was only a small bouquet of lilies, he rather always carried a book, this year's book was "The Treasure Island" and he usually stayed there to read to Narancia in the afternoon until it got dark, Mista went early, got up at dawn, bought the flowers and stayed in the cemetery for a while, talked to Narancia about all his new adventures, what he had done that year, the missions and how things were going. He also had a CD player with him and played the latest rap, hip hop and some rock music on his headphones.
Mista tried not to cry, but sometimes he did. He couldn't help it.
"Was Narancia happy?" The voice snapped Mista out of his sad trance and he immediately pulled out his gun. The man walking up to him didn't flinch, there was lake on his face that made Mista feel strange, as if he knew him but he was also sure he had never seen him before in his life.
"Who are you?" he asked without dropping the gun, he had him in his sights and could kill him at any second. Then he saw a small toy plane in his hands, the man ignored him and put the toy on the grave.
"I ask you again... Narancia, my child, had happiness?"
Mista felt his chest fill with rage and sorrow, he wanted to shoot him but he didn't, he put the gun away again.
"He was so happy that he infected us all... But he wasn't happy always, he was hurt... By people like you" He said with acidity.
"Hmm, I see" He replied. "What's your name?"
"Why would I tell you that...?"
The man shrugged and touched one of the vines growing on the grave.
"The other guy, I heard his name once... Fugo something... I know the other two are Leone Abbacchio and Bruno Bucciaratti" He pointed to the graves next to him "I also know that the man who now rules this country is Giorno Giovanna."
Mista became nervous.
"But I never saw him...so that leaves us with you being either Guido Mista or Giorno Giovanna"
"Mista..."
"I see... Fugo I saw him once, well I've seen him from afar a couple of times when I come to visit."
"And who is the show for? Do you want to earn people's sympathy?"
The man shook his head.
"No, I don't deserve pity or forgiveness... But that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't regret not at least saying goodbye to Narancia."
Mista wanted to hit him.
"Tell me Mista... Did you love Narancia?"
"Of course I loved him! He was my best friend! He was my family!" shouted Guido wanting to draw his gun again.
"So they never told you?"
"Tell me what?!"
"Oh no, I couldn't... If he didn't tell you I have no right to, I have no right to hurt my child more than I already did, from everything they said that day... in the middle of the night. I thought they had gone to kill me and they would have had every right to do it, but they didn't and now I am here in my kid's grave... In the grave of a 17 year old child who did not have the love of a good father, I was not a good father and I will never be one, but at least I can not be a worse father... If Narancia didn't say it, who am I to do it now?"
"To hell with your cryptic bullshit! You have no right to come here to mourn Narancia! You never gave a fuck about him!"
"Not completely... But I don't expect you to understand. And honestly, not for you but for Narancia, I hope you never have to... That you lose what you love, that you lose a wife and with it your soul."
"This is not about Mrs. Ghirga, this is about you should have had courage, you should have given more for him."
"No, it's not him..."
"Eh?"
"I won't give you full details but if anything I can correct now it's that. That day I shouted to them that they would go to hell... But I know that's not so, I will go to rot there... I didn't understand it then and I don't fully understand it now, but I can try. Narancia told me that they was not a boy, that they was not a girl either... that they were something in between, something that I did not understand... Is not him, nor her, Narancia is only Narancia, they also told me something about you...".
Mista lost hiz patience.
"About me? Ha! What the fuck are you going to know about Narancia or me?" he shouted.
"Apparently more than you know now... I may not know what his favorite song was, but I know what it was, and they weren't a boy, it weren't a him!"
Mista walked home, frustrated and kicking rocks all the way. When he entered the mansion it was all alone, there was none of the usual movement, the leather shoes against the polished floor; the servants here and there bringing visitors, other capos, other agents. There were no people asking for an appointment with Don Giovanna or a meeting, just the soft sounds of the piano keys in the music room.
So Mista went there to that place that was like a sanctuary for Panaccotta, that's how he had also found him long ago, in a half-pint restaurant playing Libiamo, ne' lieti calici to people who probably wouldn't know the difference between The Traviata and The Barber of Seville.
"Today..." He started, didn't even knock on the door, just opened it and started talking. Fugo watched him with those red eyes, like a little white rabbit impatient and nervous "Today I went to see Narancia and his father was there.."
Fugo had been planning to go later, he didn't like going with Mista because he inevitably ended up feeling even guiltier than when he went alone.
"Oh... So... are you okay?" he asked carefully, almost afraid that Mista was going to spontaneously combust.
"N-No." He sat down on the stool next to Fugo, in front of the piano and played a note with his finger "He told me that Narancia isn't... wasn't a boy."
"Hm... Well, they wasn't."
"You knew?"
Fugo nodded and let out a sigh.
"Nara didn't want anything to change, so I kept it a secret. One night they snuck out of their room... and I don't know, I followed them. I was worried they were going to do something stupid. I just remember they was in a bad mood that day and well..."
Mista looked at Fugo, sometimes he looked as old as a man who has seen and done more than he should and other times he was like a little boy, so innocent and kind. Fugo was an ambivalent and strange being that Mista had learned to appreciate and love.
"They went home...to their old house, I stayed outside in case something happened. I knew they a didn't have a good relationship... I didn't hear much, but when Narancia came out they already knew I was there, they had tears in their eyes and went straight to me and hugged me... It's a bittersweet memory." he gave another sigh and patted Mista. "They told me some things that I don't know if you should know, they wanted to tell you... I don't know if I should tell you... But once you know them your life is going to be different, you have to decide if you can live with that information..."
"If you were me what would you do?"
"I would want to know, but I also know that it's going to hurt you and that nothing is going to change that afterwards... I think you should go to Mr. Ghirga, it's the least he can do for you and Narancia."
"I think I should at least think about it... do you have the address?"
Fugo nodded.