Chapter Text
Spencer was handling himself well despite the lack of pain medication. Neal had an arm gallantly tucked around Spencer’s waist, providing support, but minding his injuries. They entered the restaurant along with Peter, Morgan, and Hotch. They easily found the table that already housed Garcia, Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss. The large square table was in the corner of the room, booth seating lining two adjacent sides.
As they moved closer, Emily Prentiss stood sharply, glaring at Neal and pointing a finger.
Neal turned his head towards Spencer, “Well, shit.” Their pace didn’t falter and Emily continued to glare but made no move to cause a scene or start yelling at Neal.
“Neal.” Peter said. Now that Neal had proven to Peter that he was a reformed man, the way Peter said his name contained more concern than warning.
When they reached the table, Emily immediately addressed Neal to the confusion of the rest of the table. “You little shit!”
Penelope looked back and forth between Neal—with his arm around Spencer—and Emily jabbing a finger in the air at him.
Neal smiled at her but ignored the insult as he helped Spencer to sit down on in the booth. Once his boyfriend was situated and had nodded to indicate that he was good, Neal turned to the group and introduced himself. “Hello, I’m Spencer’s boyfriend, Neal Caffrey. I’ve been looking forward to meeting all of you.”
Neal held out a hand, Emily glared at it while JJ and Penelope looked wary based on the vehement reaction.
After a moment, Rossi took his hand and shook it. “Care to share how you know Prentiss?” The older man prompted, unsure what to think about the outburst from Emily and the suppressed smirks from Morgan, Hotch, and Reid himself.
Neal sat down along with the rest of the group. Emily slumped back, sulking with her arms crossed, still leveling her best death stare at Neal.
Neal smiled widely. “I may have allegedly been on the run from an Interpol agent by that name once.”
“What?” Penelope interjected. “I thought you were a baker.”
“Baker? You told me he was a security consultant.” JJ side-eyed Spencer, who was smiling in tired amusement as he tilted his head to rest on Neal’s shoulder.
“I was led to believe he is an FBI agent.” Morgan offered up.
Emily leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table and steeple her hands under her chin. “And I was told he was an artist, but he’s a conman.”
“Conman?!” Penelope exclaimed.
“Reformed conman.” Neal corrected, meeting Emily’s eyes. He brought his hand up to the nape of Spencer’s neck to softly run his fingers through his hair. Spencer leaned closer.
“I’m Agent Peter Burke, since nobody asked.” Peter said with a bit of sarcasm, making Neal laugh brightly and Spencer huffing a laugh that wouldn’t hurt his ribs.
Morgan waved the white collar agent off. “No offense Burke, but you look like an agent.”
Peter rolled his eyes but refrained from commenting further.
Neal settled in, warmed by the contact with Spencer, who had pressed himself to Neal’s side. Neal wasn’t sure if it was meant to be moral support for him or if Spencer was seeking his own comfort because he was still in pain, but Neal was glad for it all the same.
“Wait, so our genius lied us about who you were?” Penelope asked, accusing Spencer lightly.
“Technically he didn’t lie to any of you.” Neal supplied.
JJ raised an eyebrow at the reformed conman. “I’m going to need more explanation than that.”
Hotch’s lips twitched in amusement at the turn of the conversation and Rossi glanced to him to see if he would silently reveal more information. He did not.
Neal started again. “My name is Neal Caffrey. Ten years ago, give or take, Peter here arrested me for bond forgery. I was suspected of a number of other crimes including counterfeiting, securities fraud, and art theft.”
“Don’t forget the racketeering.” Peter reminded him.
Neal smiled. “I have not forgotten the alleged racketeering. Peter had chased me for four years and I spent most of the next four in Sing Sing.”
“They sent you to Sing Sing for non-violent crimes?” Rossi asked.
Peter grimaced. “He was considered a flight risk.”
Neal made a distasteful face as well. “I can’t really blame anyone for that given that I did end up escaping.”
Penelope’s eyes went wide. “You escaped a maximum security prison?! How?” She asked.
Neal grinned, slightly ferally.
“You just had to ask that didn’t you?” Peter said to the brightly colored woman.
“I walked out through the front door.” Neal claimed with just a touch of cocky pride. The sentence earned him another glare from Emily, a shocked look from Morgan and JJ, and a reluctantly impressed look from Rossi.
Peter scoffed. “He broke out with three months left on a four year sentence by buying a guard’s uniform online with the warden’s wife’s stolen credit card number.”
Neal pressed his lips together. He wasn’t necessarily proud of his evasion of the consequences of his own actions, but the breakout itself was clever and did lead him to working with Peter, so it was nostalgic in that way as well.
“Damn.” Rossi said.
“Don’t be too impressed,” Peter warned, “I caught him a few days later.”
“Why would you break out with only three months left?” JJ asked, concern coloring her tone.
That made Neal frown. “My girlfriend at the time was in danger.”
Peter picked up the story from his perspective, they had told it many times to many people and had a rhythm. He also wanted to give Neal a moment, talking about Kate always brought back memories that hurt.
“I found him in her empty apartment—”
“In the same suit he wore when he was arresting me the first time.” Neal interjected.
“Classic’s never go out of style.” Peter argued the familiar argument.
“It was never in style.” Neal shot back. “One day I will get El to burn it.”
“Good luck with that.” Peter told him.
The profilers at the table listened with interest at the way the two interacted with each other. It was clear that despite the fact that Peter had arrested Neal, they were very close.
Peter took a drink from his ice water before continuing the story. “So I get called from another case, where a thief called the Dutchman had blown up a safe full of evidence, in order to go chase Caffrey. When I find him in the empty apartment, I tell him I’ve come from another case and he tells me he can tell me what was in the safe if I’ll meet with him in the prison in a week.”
Peter paused dramatically to let the story settle in.
Rossi sighed. “Alright, I’ll bite. What was in the safe, and how did Caffrey know what it was?”
Peter grinned, making Neal smile. They had been through a lot together and despite all the ups and downs, most of the memories were happy. “He pulled this tiny red fiber off my suit jacket. Told me it was the security fiber for the Canadian hundred dollar bill that had yet to be released. The security fiber that could be used to make exceptional counterfeit bills. I just about started an international incident telling the Canadians about it all.”
Spencer turned his face into Neal’s neck to laugh. Neal pressed a kiss into his hair.
“The next week, Neal convinced me to let him become my CI and wear a tracking anklet.” Peter said.
“How does any of this relate to how Neal and Spencer started dating and why he told all of us he had different jobs?” JJ asked.
“Well,” Neal answered, “One of the things Peter and I do is security checks for banks, thus the security consultant. I am in fact an artist, and I also own my own bakery.”
“That still doesn’t explain why he told me you were an agent.” Morgan said, glancing at Reid.
“I told you he had an FBI file, not that he was an agent.” Reid spoke up for the first time. He sounded exhausted but there was a faint smile sitting on his face.
Morgan shook his head.
“So you’re telling me that you—an international art thief—became a baker after completing your sentence?” Emily asked with a fair amount of disbelief.
Peter snorted.
“Alleged international art thief.” Neal corrected. “And I may or may not have bought the bakery at the beginning of my time working with Peter.”
That made all the BAU agents look back to Neal in confusion.
Peter was the one to tell the story. “Not long into Neal’s tenure as a CI, he was accused and then arrested for the theft of a very expensive jewel.”
“The Steinmetz pink diamond.” Neal added.
“Instead of proving his innocence,” Peter continued, “he purchased the bakery and then claimed he would confess to everything. He was moved to the judge’s personal offices, which just so happened to be above the bakery with its new awning, and which just so happened to have a broken AC unit that day so the judge opened the window. Neal slipped his cuffs, jumped out of the fourth story window onto the bakery awning and dropped down to disappear into the middle of a crowd.” Peter gestured with one hand, making a two fingered person run and then jump out of a window to mimic Neal’s actions.
“You were just upset because you were wrong and I was innocent.” Neal quipped.
Peter rolled his eyes. “Innocent is not the right word. But I admit you didn’t steal the jewel.”
Neal snickered.
“You still haven’t told us how you and our baby genius started dating!” Penelope demanded. She waved her fork in the air in a vaguely threatening manner.
Neal turned to Spencer, whispering into his hair. “Do you want to tell the story or shall I?”
Spencer leaned up slightly to look at his boyfriend. “You can tell it.” Spencer pressed a kiss to Neal’s lips and smiled widely.
Neal grinned soppily at Spencer for a brief moment then turned to the table. “Spencer came into the bakery to work on cold cases, but he stayed for hours, immersed in the casefile. He didn’t drink, he didn’t eat, he didn’t even move from his seat at all. Eventually, I placed another muffin and coffee in front of him and he just continued reading but started drinking and eating without thinking about it. It was by the third muffin and coffee that the bakery was closing and I finally interrupted his work. He was understandably suspicious of why I knew the case files were cold cases and I admitted I was a consultant and he recognized my name.”
“The case file I read didn’t include a photo.” Spencer added, explaining why he hadn’t immediately recognized who Neal was despite having read the file.
“I flirted with him and he flirted back and I left him one of The Greatest Cake business cards.” Neal said.
“By left he means reverse pickpocketed.” Spencer chimed in again.
Neal bit down a smile. “Spencer set up a meeting about one of the cold cases with Peter and I crashed the meeting and afterwards he turned the tables and left me his card and told me to call him.”
“And clearly you did.” Morgan stated.
Neal turned to him, somewhat serious even though the conversation had been light. “I may be many things, but I am not an idiot. I called him before he had even made it out of the building.”