Chapter Text
Sirius knocked on the door of the Lupin household. He’d given Remus some time to recover from the full moon, but he was finally ready to lay it all on the line. He would lying if he didn’t admit he was nervous. They’d barely gotten back to normal and it felt things were still a little tenuous.
The door opened to reveal Hope standing there. “Hi Sirius, I didn’t know you were coming by today. Is Harry with you?”
“Uh, nope. Just me. Is Remus around?”
Hope’s face fell. “He’s not here right now.”
“Oh, do you know when he’ll be back?”
Hope looked behind her and then stepped onto the porch closing the door over. “It’s the anniversary of Laura’s death today. I’m watching Teddy today so he can do what he needs to.”
“Oh, is Teddy okay?”
“Yeah, he misses his mom but dates don’t stick with him the same way. Remus deserves the time to feel whatever he needs.”
“He does. Well, I’ll try and catch him another time then. Take care and let me know if there’s anything I can do to make today easier.”
“Will do,” Hope said, stepping back inside and closing the door.
Sirius pulled his phone out and sent Remus a quick text just letting him know that his mom had told him what today was and to reach out if there’s anything he needed.
Meanwhile, Remus had spent the day back in… well, he didn’t know what to call this place anymore. For a while to him and Laura it had been home. They had both thought it was the place that was going to open up their future to them. The place where they’d one day start their dream bakery with family in tow. Instead, it became the place where he lost her piece by piece.
He bought flowers and went to her grave not because he felt inclined too, but because in truth he didn’t really know what he wanted to do. Remus always expected the anniversary to feel worse but the truth was it was just another day without her here. He never knew which days were going to hit him the hardest. One time he had taken Teddy out for dinner and the waitress had said table for three and that was enough to have him turning right around with tears in his eyes. Another time it had been a trip to the grocery store where a nice old lady had gushed over how adorable Teddy looked in his overalls and made an offhand remark about how ‘his mother must have assembled such an adorable outfit’ leaving Remus gutted in the dairy aisle. And there was one time where while playing karaoke with new friends their song had come on and Remus had to hide in the garage to have a small meltdown. The truth was the only difference about today was that he didn’t have the excuse to fake the absence of grief anymore.
In some awful twisted way Remus was exhausted by finding new layers to the pain he had for the absence of his wife. He remembered the first time she couldn’t remember him simply asking if he’d been brought in to read to her. Remus had been able to muscle through two chapters of The Wizard of Oz before he had to excuse himself to cry in his car. He remembered the first time she didn’t remember herself anymore. He remembered the days where she got angry and yelled and the days where Teddy would cry in the car unsure of why his mom didn’t want him anymore. He hated that those were the memories that came to his mind when he thought of her, of sponge baths and hospital gowns.
Remus sighed as he sat down by her grave. “I brought you flowers. I don’t know why you never really like dead things. Remember your bouquet from our wedding? Remember how you spent hours learning to fold origami flowers so you could make it out of photocopies of your favourite children’s books? You could do anything you set your mind to. I think maybe that’s why I fell in love with you at first. You were so fearless.
“Do you remember the first day you broke down over the brain tumour? We were filling out forms and you couldn’t remember my birthday. For some reason it was that that made it all real for you. To be honest, I think it made me real for me too. You were so scared and I knew I had to be fearless for you and I wasn’t sure if I could do it.
“I’m trying Laura. I’m trying to be fearless for Teddy, but the truth is I’m terrified all the time. I’m scared I’m going to become my dad. I’m scared I’m going to hurt him. I’m scared he’ll get sick and I’ll lose him too.
“I just… I want you to come home. Please come home to me Laura.”
Remus wandered through the town after that past the hospital where Teddy was born, past the place where they bought their first car, past the school they thought Teddy was going to go to, past the park where Teddy took his first steps and Laura wasn’t there, past the café in which Teddy said his first word and Laura was there but wouldn’t remember. This town was full of memories. This town was his grief embodied and Remus felt so so heavy.
It was dark when Remus finally pulled his phone out to see what time it was and saw that he had a message from Sirius. He messaged him back asking if he could come over and Sirius sent back the address to his apartment.
Remus looked awful when Sirius opened the door. His eyes were puffy and red from crying and he looked so tired.
“It’s funny,” Remus said, through cracked vocal chords. “All this time and I don’t think I’ve ever been to your apartment.”
Sirius laughed. “To be honest, I barely spend any time here myself. How are you feeling?”
Remus stepped through the door and kissed Sirius soundly, one hand sliding up the back of the shirt. “Please,” he said, when he pulled back. “Please. We can talk about it all later, but I just don’t want to think right now.”
Sirius paused. He knew he shouldn’t do this. He knew this probably wasn’t the responsible thing to do, but he looked small and broken and in that moment Sirius would have given him anything if it made him feel better.
“Okay,” Sirius said and pulled him back in, but if he was going to be with Remus, he was going to do it on his terms. It was clear that Remus wanted him to be harsh, trying to get Sirius to dig his nails in, to push him too hard, to make it hurt. Sirius took his every demand with gentleness. Opening him up slowly and reverently, worshiping him with gentle kisses pressed all over his body. He was so soft and kind that it was driving Remus mental and when he came, everything he was holding inside him came bursting forward and he dissolved into sobs. Sirius cleaned him up gently and held him until he fell asleep.
When Remus awoke, he forgot for a moment where he was. His eyes ached from all the crying he’d done and he rubbed them and as he tried to blink his way back to waking. “What time is it?”
“It’s morning,” Sirius said. “Don’t worry. I texted your mom to let her know you’re with me.”
Remus groaned and stretched. “Since when do you have my mom’s number?”
Sirius shrugged in response and sat back down on the side on the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. Thank you, for last night. In the past, people have been a little too willing to be rough with me.” Sirius gave him a concerned look as Remus rolled over onto his stomach, propping his head up with one arm. “Let’s just say these scars aren’t all my doing.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Why sorry?”
“You were clearly in pain. No one should take advantage of that.” Sirius wondered then if he’d made a mistake worried that he’d scared Remus into closing up again. He wanted to step in before he ran. “Listen, I’ve been wanting to do what we did last night for a long time. Obviously, I’d imagined it under much different circumstances, but I wanted to be honest with you about my feelings and I thought –“
“Sirius. I’ve known about your crush on me for a month.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, you’re a little less subtle than you think. That and you really got to work on your whispering skills when talking to James.”
Sirius’s mouth open and closed. “Um, so… last night then was just cause you knew?”
Remus’s face fell. “You thought I was just taking advantage of your feelings?”
“No. I mean maybe. I’d hoped not, but…”
“You got some scars from past hookups too?”
“Something like that,” Sirius said with a sad smile.
“I like you Sirius. I mean I thought that was obvious when I almost jumped your bones at Teddy’s party.”
“But you said you weren’t ready.”
Remus sighed and sat up himself. “I’m sorry. I think I was a bit embarrassed about the whole thing, but also I was scared. I still am. I’m a mess Sirius. I’m still grieving and I know there’s a whole pile of traumatic shit with my dad and around Laura’s death that I haven’t even started to deal with. It didn’t feel fair to do that to you, to anyone. I don’t want you to feel like you’re competing with my dead wife.”
“Remus, Laura was your wife. She’s the mother of your child. The grief from losing her is a part of you. Every love is different. It would be unfair to compare two of them. I know I can’t replace her and I would never try to. That doesn’t mean you can’t love us both.”
Remus nodded and was mildly aware of the fact that he was crying again. “I’m sorry. I thought I got all this out of my system.”
“That’s okay,” Sirius said, giving his hand a squeeze. “Why don’t you take a moment and I’ll start breakfast, okay?”
Remus nodded and Sirius slipped out of the room. Remus gave himself a moment to spiral about last night and this morning and then he pulled himself together, getting up and putting on a clean pair of Sirius’s boxers and a t-shirt before slipping out into the kitchen.
Sirius was humming quietly to himself as he cooked. Eggs and bacon swirling around in the air as he moved pans around. A bowl on the counter was stirring itself and seemed to be filled with pancake mix.
“Hi,” Remus said, quietly.
Sirius turned around and smiled. “Hey,” he said, taking in the look of awe on Remus’s face. “Oh shit, I didn’t think. Is this okay?”
“Yeah, um, if it’s not on me that’s alright. It’s just been a long time since I’ve seen magic used.”
“That’s fair. I guess growing up around it it loses its, well, magic after a while.”
Remus stood in the doorway for another moment. “I borrowed your clothes. I hope you don’t mind.”
Sirius’s eyes traced hungrily up and down his body. “You going to let me take them off you later?”
Remus blushed and shuffled his way over to the table to sit down. Sirius turned back to finishing the breakfast leaving Remus to ogle both his ass in boxers and the muscles in his bare back.
“Okay,” Sirius said, levitating an array of plates over to the table. “I might have went overboard but we got eggs, bacon, toast, and chocolate chip pancakes. Don’t feel like you have to eat it all.”
“It’s lovely. Thank you,” Remus said, loading his plate up with chocolate chip pancakes. “I’m starving. I kinda forgot to eat yesterday.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. You’re kinda terrible of taking care of yourself.”
Remus looked at him in shock.
“What? Do you or do you not remember working with internal bleeding, a sprained ankle, and a head injury?”
“Yeah, that’s fair. I guess I’ve always been good at pushing through things. I am sorry about that.”
“You don’t have to be sorry about getting hurt but I will accept the apology for lying about it when you were. I was worried about you. I didn't know if you were in a gang or something."
Remus choked on a bite of pancake as he laughed. “A gang? What exactly about me screams gang?”
“I don’t know! I had a lot of time to think about it, okay?”
Remus looked at Sirius and smiled, but it quickly faltered. “Are you really okay with me being a werewolf?”
“Of course. James and I will be there for every full moon from now on and I didn’t mention it before but James’s dad is a very talented potioneer. He’s willing to teach us how to make Wolfsbane. There’s no pressure or time limit on that offer, okay?”
“Wolfsbane is supposed to make the transformation easier, right?”
“Yeah. It allows to keep your mind during the transformation.” Remus was quiet for a while. “Listen,” Sirius said, reaching across the table to take Remus’s hand, “I know you’ve had a tough past with magic and I think there are a lot of potion and spells that can make the recovery easier, but know that I’ll never pressure you into trying anything you aren’t ready for.”
“Thank you.”
“I also have a friend who’s a therapist if you were interested in finding someone you can talk to about things. Helps when you don’t have to worry about the whole ‘magic exists’ hurdle. Okay, that’s it. I’m sorry. Lily is always telling me to not try and fix things for everyone.”
Remus chuckled. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why did you try so hard to get Teddy and Harry to be friends?”
“Yeah, I guess now that you know me following your kid as dog seems a little creepy,” Sirius sighed. “I didn’t have the best upbringing. My family had very rigid beliefs and had kids more to continue the bloodline than because they actually wanted to be parents. For a long time, I didn’t have anyone to talk about it with. I was so lonely and then I met James and his family.
“I guess when I looked at Teddy all alone dealing with so much, I saw my younger self and I wanted him to have what I didn’t at his age.”
“A friend?”
Sirius nodded and gave him a sad smile. “I wouldn’t have pushed it if they really didn’t get along but besides the few spats I think they’re doing okay. And if it meant I got to get to know his cute dad, well then that was simply an added bonus.”
“Mhm, sure only altruistic reasons.”
“Shut up,” Sirius said, elbowing him gently. “To be fair, I was focused on Teddy, but then that night with the sleepover when we were in the garage… I realized how much pain you were in and I felt like a fool for not seeing it before. Maybe that’s when I moved beyond wanting Teddy to make a friend to going overboard trying to fix things for you.”
Remus smiled sadly. “It’s not like you can undo what happened to Laura.”
“I know, but I hope I can give you a soft place to land on the bad days.”
“Mhm,” Remus said, pushing a pancake around on his plate. “Speaking of which, we should talk about the night Teddy called you.”
“You don’t have to. Your mother told me the broad strokes.”
“I – I need to. You need to know about that and my lycanthropy in my words.” The ‘and then you can decide if you still want me’ remained unspoken.
“Okay,” Sirius said, reaching for his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “After breakfast?”
Remus nodded and the two of them went back to their meals. The conversation shifting to lighter topics. When Remus offered to help wash up, Sirius simply smiled and flicked his wand, joking about how Remus would never need to do dishes again. But the atmosphere quickly turned tense again as they both remembered the conversation they needed to have.
“Can we go to your room?” Remus asked, blushing when he realized the implications. “It’s just breakfast has been so nice and it’s easier to not do this in the light.”
“Of course,” Sirius said leading the way. He lay down on his side so he could look at Remus and Remus joined him laying on his back.
“If it’s too much at any point tell me stop, okay?”
Sirius made a noise of assent. “Same for you.”
Remus nodded and then turned his gaze to the ceiling. “So, you know magic usually appears around the age of five. My dad’s side of the family had a history of being early bloomers. He was convinced I was going to be too. His presence was borderline suffocating but playful at first as he tried to get me to levitate my toys. It was only after the attack that it turned violent.
“My father worked for the Ministry. He was involved in a case against a high-profile werewolf, Fenrir Greyback. He got off on a technicality and my dad was very vocal about his surety of his guilt and his opinions on those afflicted with lycanthropy. Fenrir saw that and decided to get his revenge. I was sleeping and then when I woke up – I’ve never known such pain.
“My mom knew what it was like in the wizarding world for werewolves. She begged my father to move us to the Muggle world. She knew it would be safer for me there. My father agreed but his resentment for that decision never really faded.
“He was so sure that I’d have magic. I’d been touch by it already – how could I not? But when my fifth birthday past, his anger twisted into something uglier. It started with things I cared about, setting my favourite teddy bears alit, putting my favourite books into indecipherable languages, but then he decided he needed to do something more serious. I can still remember that fear,” Remus said, his voice choking in his throat. He gave himself a moment, swallowing, and focusing on the task at hand.
“My mom came home early from her book club one night. She found my dad having me hold my hand in an inferno with burns covering most of the rest of my body. She lost it on him. Grabbed a kitchen knife and got between the two of us. Demanded he heal me and that it was never to happen again, but it didn’t matter because the next morning he was gone. I think it’s for the best he left. I don’t think we ever really could have gone back from that.
“I was terrified. Avoided magic for years. I was convinced I could never have a relationship because who from the Muggle or magical world would want a werewolf? Laura was a squib too. She figured it out first, put two and two together and forced it out of me. Her parents offered to heal me too, but I couldn’t let them.
“I was terrified about Teddy having magic. Especially after Laura got sick and I fell out with her parents, I didn’t know how I could handle it without her. I thought we were past that age maybe, but then that night with windows. It’s like I was that scared child being tortured just for being who I was all over again.
“I don’t want Teddy to be afraid of magic, to be afraid of using it around me, but that fear is so deeply engrained in my heart I’m not sure if it will ever go away.”
“It’s okay if it doesn’t,” Sirius said quietly. “If you never want me using magic on you. It hurts to see you hurting knowing I could take that away, but I’d never take that choice from you.” Sirius started to run a soothing hand up Remus’s arm. “Laura’s parents – they were the ones at Teddy’s party?”
Remus nodded.
“Can I ask what happened there?”
“When Laura got sick, they decided they couldn’t see their daughter like that. Couldn’t bear to lose more of her day by day so they just left. We fought about it without Laura knowing, but I guess she figured it out cause she sent them a letter asking them to take care of me once she was gone. I went to see them after my surgery because I didn’t have enough money for Teddy’s birthday. They asked if they could come. They want to be a part of his life.”
“Is that what you want?”
Remus rolled onto his side. “I don’t think it’s up to me. That’s a choice Teddy has to make for himself.”
“Still, I can imagine it’s hard to see them.”
“I was so angry at them for so long. They didn’t even show up to her funeral. They were Teddy’s godparents, along with my mom, and they just left when he needed them the most. I don’t know how anyone can just walk away like that.”
“Me neither.”
“Are you sure you still want to do this?” Remus asked in a voice that was barely a whisper. “I understand if I come with too much baggage.”
“Remus,” Sirius said, laying a hand on his cheek. “I’ve been wanting you to let me care for you for a long time. Let me love you, okay?”
“Okay," Remus said and he let Sirius pull him into a kiss.
A few hours later, Sirius drove Remus back home. They had decided to keep their relationship quiet for the first little bit before telling the kids. After everything that had happened, they both wanted some time to figure themselves out on their own, but Remus knew he was going to have to explain what happened last night to his mom and he wasn’t looking forward to that.
Reluctantly he went to open the door and Sirius grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back in for one more kiss. They were interrupted though by a little thunk and turned to see two small handprints pressed to the front window.
“Oh no,” Remus said as he heard tiny feet come running to the door.
“Nana! Sirius is kissing Daddy!” Teddy yelled as he tugged the door open.
“Is he really?” Hope said, appearing behind him.
“Okay Tedster,” Remus said, “why don’t you and I have a talk.” He said herding Teddy into the living room leaving Sirius alone with his mom. “What were you doing looking out the window kiddo?”
Teddy’s eager energy went out of him in a moment. “You didn’t come home last night and Grandma said you’d be back later today. I wanted to make sure you came back.”
Remus sat down next to his son and let him cuddle into him. “I’m sorry Tedster. I ended up staying out longer than I’d meant to, but I promise no matter what I’ll always come home. You got that?”
Teddy nodded against him.
“Do you know where I was yesterday?”
“Nana said you were feeling sad and needed some time to be alone.”
“Nana is right. Yesterday was the anniversary of your mom’s death. I was feeling sad and so I went to talk with Sirius about it.”
“And Sirius kissed you to cheer you up?”
Well, he’d done more than that, but Remus didn’t need to tell his son that. “We talked about how we were feeling and then some other feelings came up. Sirius and I both like each other and so we’ve decided to start dating. How do you feel about that?”
Teddy shrugged and burrowed further into his side.
“You can always tell me how you feel Teddy and I want you to know that me dating Sirius is in no way me trying to replace your mom, okay? Was there something you wanted to say?”
“I don’t think I miss Mama as much as you do. Is that wrong?”
“Oh Teddy. No, no it’s not wrong at all. Your emotions are yours to feel and yours alone. I knew Mommy for a lot longer than you did and I know as you get older you likely won’t remember her as well and that’s okay as long as you keep telling me how you’re feeling, okay? I don’t mind talking about her even if I seem sad sometimes. You can ask me anything about her you want to and I’ll do my best to answer, but you can also let me know if I’m talking about her too much or if I’m making you uncomfortable.”
“Okay,” Teddy said, still not meeting his dad’s eyes.
“Was there something else?”
“If Sirius is your boyfriend will you still have time for me?
“I will always have time for you. You are my number one priority kiddo and Sirius knows that too. I know these last few months have been rough and with me changing jobs sometimes I haven’t been around as much. Do you remember what we talked about after you ran away? If you are feeling left out or like I’m not spending enough time with you, you can tell me and I can do my best to make changes.
“Plus, if you’re okay with it, I was thinking Sirius could answer some of your questions about magic?”
Teddy’s eyes lit up then. “Does he know where I can meet a dragon?”
“I sure do,” Sirius said, appearing in the living room. “Hope I’m not intruding. Has Harry told you about his friend Ron?”
Teddy nodded. “He has lots of siblings.” He look overwhelmed at the thought.
Sirius chuckled. “He does. One of his older brother’s works at a dragon sanctuary. I’ll give him a call and see if he can give us a tour.”
Teddy jumped up off the couch and ran over to give him a hug. “I’m okay if you kiss my Dad.”
“Thanks Teds. I appreciate your seal of approval.”
“Will you come play dinosaurs with me dad?”
“Sure, just let me say bye to Sirius, okay?”
“Okay!” Teddy said, running upstairs to his room. “Don’t spend too long kissing!”
Sirius laughed as Remus face palmed in response. “Well, that didn’t go exactly the way we wanted it to. Everything okay though?”
“Yeah, some other stuff we’ll need to talk about, but we’re good. Although you should probably tell Harry before Teddy spills the beans.”
“I’ll start with his parents first, but then yeah the three of us will sit Harry down and let him know.”
“Everything go okay with my mom?”
Sirius blushed a bit. “Ah yeah, she gave me the good old shovel talk, but mostly she really just wants you to be happy.”
“Dadddddd!” Teddy hollered from upstairs.
“Duty calls. I’ll see you later?”
“Yep,” Sirius said, kissing his cheek. “First official date.”
Sirius headed over to the Potters then and let himself in. Harry, who seemed to be in the process of running through the house with a foam sword screaming, stopped upon seeing his godfather and changed directions so he could plow right into Sirius. A few moments later, James appeared dressed as a pirate clearly ready for a fight that went out of him when he saw his brother.
“Uncle Sirius! Protect me from the pirate!”
“I don’t know Harry. Pirates are pretty cool. They get to find buried treasure. Don’t you want to find some treasure?”
Harry’s eyes gleamed as he nodded eagerly. Sirius led them in a treasure hunt that took them out into the garden eventually and James and him sat on the porch to watch Harry dig in the sandbox for his treasure.
“How long before we tell him there’s nothing there?” James asked.
“Don’t worry,” Sirius said with a smile. “I hid a snitch in there. Of course, it’ll keep moving around for a bit.”
“You trying to keep my kid busy so you can hang out with me?”
Sirius grinned. “Something like that. But, um, I do actually have something to talk to you about.”
James squinted at him for a long moment. “Oh my god. Sirius Black! Did you get laid?!”
“Whose getting laid?” Lily said, as she stepped out onto the deck with lemonade. Sirius’s face had gotten bright red as he buried it in his hands.
“Who was it?” James asked. “Is it that fitness instructor at the gym? The one who is always spending too much time ‘adjusting your stance.’” James did air quotes to add effect.
“No. Um, it was Remus.”
James let out a squeal that was reminiscent of a teenage girl. “Tell me everything.”
Lily rolled her eyes as she sat down next to them. “Reel it in just a touch darling. You only have to share what you’re ready for Sirius.”
“Um, so yesterday was the anniversary of Laura’s death.”
“Interesting start,” James interrupted and Sirius glared at him in response.
“Hope told me cause she was watching Teddy for the day and I texted him to see if he needed anything. He texted me back later that evening asking if he could come over and he stepped through the door and kissed me.” James and Lily were now looking at him with concern. “It’s not like that. Yes, he wanted to distracted, but I think more than that he wanted to be cared for. He, uh, he actually knew about my crush for a month. Guess I’m not good at being subtle.”
“So where does that leave you?” Lily asked, the worried crease hadn’t left her face.
“He likes me. He’s liked me for a while. I guess he was scared and worried he’d be burdening me with how much of a mess he was. We had breakfast and talked a lot and then, um, we had a round two which was a lot more heated.”
“You dog,” James said slapping him on the thigh.
“We weren’t going to say anything. Remus is still pretty vulnerable about things. Teddy too. But I kissed him goodbye on the porch and Teddy was watching from the window.”
“Beginner’s mistake,” Lily told him.
“So you two know now and we decided I’ll need to tell Harry before Teddy does.”
As if on cue, Harry came sprinting towards them triumphantly holding the snitch in his hand. “Look Padfoot! I’m a really pirate!”
Sirius hoisted Harry onto his lap. “That you are.”
“You were right being a pirate is much more fun.”
Lily passed him a plastic cup of lemonade, which Harry drank greedily.
“Harry,” Sirius started. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Okay,” Harry said, looking at him intently.
“You know how in movies when two people like each other they go on dates.”
Harry frowned. “Padfoot, I’m old enough now to know that’s not just in movies.”
Sirius looked up at Lily and James who like him were trying to stifle laughs. “Right, well how would you feel if I dated someone?”
“They’d have to be nice.”
“Okay, anything else?”
“And they’d have to know pirates are the best and be good at colouring pictures and helping me tie my shoes til I get big enough to do it on my own. Are they good at sharing?”
“Very good.”
“Well, as long as they know they are sharing you with me I guess it’s fine.”
“Okay, well, I’ve started dating Remus, Teddy’s dad.”
Harry’s mouth dropped open in an o of pure glee. “That’s awesome! If you two get married that would make Teddy and I brothers!”
Sirius laughed but didn’t correct Harry on the fact that that was not at all how that worked. Harry was already off rambling about all the fun things that they’d do as brothers. He was asking his parents if they could be twins.
Sirius grinned and pulled out his phone, taking a picture of Harry jumping up and down on James’s lap.
- Got the seal of approval
Remus reacted first with a laughing emoji before sending his own response: a picture of his own face red and puffy from crying.
- Mom and I had a good chat. Think there was a lot we needed to talk about. You got her seal of approval too
Sirius smiled and sent Remus back a message telling him how proud he was of him. He knew Remus still had a long way to go on his healing journey and Sirius was so grateful to be able to walk that path with him.
Three years later
Tonight, was the soft launch of Remus’s bakery and he was filled with nerves. Some of it was about his concern that their family and friends wouldn’t like the food, which Sirius had already told him a dozen times was ridiculous, but the second reason was they had an important discussion to be had with the two eight year olds who were currently sprinting around the shop pretending to be t-rexs.
Remus smiled as his eyes followed them. He’d worried that Teddy might hate the restaurant when he outgrew the dinosaur phase, but that didn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. Even if he did, Remus hoped the place could serve as a time capsule for Teddy’s inner child.
They’d both been doing a lot of hard work. Teddy in therapy learning that he didn’t need to protect his dad and how to stop feeling guilty on the days he didn’t miss his mom. Remus was working hard to come to terms with his father’s abuse and his relationship with magic. He wasn’t ready to try wolfsbane just yet, but he did let Sirius heal any major wounds after the full moons, which Sirius was taking as a huge success. Norman and June were still around, but all of them were learning that their relationship needed to shift for all of them to be able to get what they wanted from it.
Things were still far from easy and Remus had days where he thought the memories might swallow him whole but it was getting far easier with good friends and his wonderful fiancé by his side.
Slowly, the guests started to file in one by one. Remus took his time to talk with everyone. Marlene complained about losing him at the bar and how she’d need to do math. Parents of Teddy and Harry’s friends from school gushed over the décor and pastries. Norman and June were sure to tell Remus how much Laura would have loved it. The best though was Remus’s mom whose eyes seemed to have a constant sheen of tears as she bragged to everyone about her son.
Eventually, most of the guests trickled out, leaving little food in their wake. Sirius gave Remus’s hand a squeeze, telling him to leave the dishes, as he brought him out of the kitchen to where Hope, Lily, and James were trying to wrangle Teddy and Harry. Lily bounced Harry’s younger sister, two-year-old Daisy, on her lap as she slept tired out from all the excitement. Her stomach starting to show as she moved further into her pregnancy with their third. Harry was adamant she needed to have a boy this time. Teddy had quietly confessed to Remus that he really hoped it was another sister.
“Boys,” James said, as they scrambled up on their seats. “There was something we all wanted to talk to you about.” They both half-listened as they shoved cookies into their mouths.
“Now,” Lily said, “you both know how busy it was when Daisy was born and it’ll be even busier when this new baby comes along because there will be the four of you.” Remus heart warmed with how Lily and James thought of Teddy as their own. “So we’ve been doing some thinking.”
Sirius took Remus’s hand and squeezed, smiling up at him before turning to the boys. “What do you think about all of us moving in together?”
The boys erupted into joyous celebration, bits of cookie spraying out of their mouths, as they started to dream up the perfect bedroom for them to share and let their parents know their specifications. They were disappointed to learn they’d have to wait for this weekend to start looking at house.
Lily tired first and they helped get all the kids into the Potter’s car. They’d agreed to keep Teddy tonight, Hope going with them to help, knowing the boys would likely want to plan, and so that Remus and Sirius could celebrate the bakery together.
Remus slipped outside as Sirius finished up the dishes in the kitchen. He stood in the lightly falling snow and looked up at the glowing green sign, which read Laura’s in her own handwriting.
“There you are,” Sirius said, stepping outside to join him. “Thought you left me.”
“Only to the dishes,” Remus teased.
“Keep talking like that and I’ll think my magic is the only reason you’re marrying me.”
Remus hummed as he leaned his head on Sirius’s shoulder. “Never thought I’d have two weddings in one lifetime.”
“You missing her tonight?”
“Yeah, it’s going to sound crazy but I think she was here. I kept thinking I saw flashes of her amongst the crowd.”
“That’s not crazy at all,” Sirius told him, wrapping an arm around his waist. “You put so much of your love for her into this place that it’s a piece of her.”
“Thank you for all your help with this and with not being weird about the name.”
“Of course,” Sirius said, leaning down to kiss Remus on the head. “It’s been nice going through her recipes and sketches. I felt like I got to know her in someway.”
“She would have liked you.”
“Of course. We both have excellent taste in men.”
Remus laughed. The sound bright and unencumbered. He was learning that life wasn’t just about finding happiness. Joy was so important but he was also learning that that there weren’t many moments that were one emotion or the other and that was okay. It was a sign that he had lived. That’d he’d survived. That he was human and scarred and how lucky he was to be able to experience so much, to carry all those living memorials inside of him. To him, it felt like magic.