Chapter Text
It had been roughly two years, ever since I've met you.
And what you had done. Is something I am unable to erase.
The day our hands brushed together, is the day where you've made me fall deeply into an ocean strom.
Drowning in it's endless waves of your words, and when I had thought you'd be drowning with me when you were not.
I've always wondered if you remembered the days where we'd walk together. The days where I still had the chance to see your smile.
I'd give you my heart. That's what I promised. Would you do the same? I'd question.
You'd promise you would, but your eyes would tell me a different story.
-
Was I too much or too less?
At nights I wondered if I did something to make you leave.
If I'd confess to you will you stay or push me away? You'd laugh and say that our relationship was just a humourous act.
It was obvious you won't see me the way I see you.
-
I had a feeling you had caught on.
And how you'd distance yourself from me, as if I was seconds away from hurting you.
Was I always like that to you?
-
Our conversations had been awkward until that point don't you think?
Sometimes you won't even look at me, your eyes averting mines.
Am I that unbearable?
-
Often I wished I'd become someone who'd be up to your standards.
So then, maybe you'd look me into the eyes, with that same shine it had once.
The shine you had lost overtime.
-
Remember when Valentines came?
I had such a fantasy to dance with you within the crowded halls, hold your hand and only see us amongst the crowds.
If only you'd allow me.
Allow me to stay close?
Allow me to love you? Then maybe I'd start loving myself too?
-
Despite all my efforts, I'd only tire myself out trying to run in an endless tunnel just to end up into your arms.
Just to feel your warmth and your words.
"I love you." We're those never real?
I never wanted to believe it that it wasn't, I wanted to live in my dreams forever, thinking you had always felt like this.
But.
Like how destiny brought us together, it'd find a way to cut that red string.
An oath.
As long as you're happy, I'll be happy too.
I don't talk to you as much anymore.
Sometimes I do.
It never felt the same as what it was used to.
We'd pass each others and not say a thing.
Sit next to each others and not utter a word.
I'd be a dream if one day you'd like me back, no?
But, I know that you were never mines.
And I was never yours.
I've come to accept that.
It still hurts to think about what we could've been. Though, I've promised to let you go and let you choose your own destiny, and I'd do the same.
-
You were an amazing experience and I was so happy that you were part of my life.
It's been some time ever since I've wore that ring you gave me.
I'd see you and smile of how much you had improved in your own terms. How much you had grown over time, stepping out of your comfort zone to meet new people you'd fit your style.
Needless to say, I've also found my own group of people. I might not have found true love in the end. I did find something alot sweeter.
I couldn't be much happier to where I am now to how much we've reached to get to this point.
-
So what if love had failed me for the 2nd time, we're still young aren't we?
Our journey is still pretty long, so why rush it?
It may hurt, but I'll assure you, overtime you'd find your healing.
-
What's mine?
Well, my healing was the year I've met
them.
And I could never wish for anything better :)