Chapter Text
April
The next day when Blair drove her back to the Wesley’s house she was prepared. She went in with her jaw set to stop her tears from falling and immediately set to cleaning. Wash the plates. Open the window. Light a candle.
Then she made her food. Most of the food her mother made had gone untouched but if April knew anything it was that since childhood Sterling had a sweet tooth.
“Where do you keep the flour?”
“You’re cooking now? Should I be paying you a maid’s fee?” Blair teased. "Ooh, maybe I'll get you one of those frilly black and white dresses!"
“Do you want pancakes or not? Because I haven’t eaten all day and your stomach sounds like the opening to a thriller with all that deep gurgling.”
“Pancakes sound good dude.”
She ate hers, picking at them as she put Blair’s on and then Sterling’s.
“Ugh, and she’s magic in a kitchen. These are damn good Stevens. Dare I say it, a solid eight out of ten.” But then she froze. “You didn’t poison them, did you?”
“Not yet. What are you feeling? Arsenic?”
“Har har. Hilarious.” Blair rolled her eyes. “Are you taking those up to her?”
“Yes. How much syrup does she have?”
“You really need me to answer that?” Blair said.
So, she doused them in so much syrup that the pancakes could no longer be seen.
She placed the food on her bedside table and waited. Waited some more.
Nothing.
Again, April talked to fill the silence. Told her about the idiotic answers Hannah B had spewed in math class and how Ezekiel looked like he wished to fling himself out of the nearest window upon hearing, “If we have a square root does that mean some of them are round? Or oval?”
The next day Blair jumped her in the parking lot. “She ate the pancakes. After you left, she ate the whole stack.”
April felt something akin to hope rippling through her then. “She did?”
“Can you come over tonight?”
“Didn’t you say your parents would be back?”
“April Stevens,” Debbie said. Though her smile never met her eyes, almost as if she was worried that someone else was in their house. Someone who would know about the secret that lay up the stairs. “As I live and breathe. What are you doing here?”
“I brought her over to see Sterl,” Blair clarified.
That managed to throw Debbie off, and she looked like she was biting back a remark. “Do you think that’s a good idea? With the fact she’s… unwell?”
“Maybe she wouldn’t be ‘unwell’ if you utilised the basic skill of communication in the past, I don't know, decade,” Blair snapped back.
April watched them go back and forth until Debbie relented.
“Let me know if you need any snacks.”
This time when April headed in, Sterling said, “You should shut the door behind you, or Debbie will snoop.”
It was strange hearing her call her mother Debbie. Regardless she was so focused on the sound of her voice that she hadn’t heard in weeks, that she didn’t bother to dissect that yet.
April simply gawked for a moment before her brain clicked into gear and she shut the door.
“Hi,” she said nervously. “I… I can go if you don’t want me here.”
Sterling peered at her and quietly said, “You’ve been cleaning my room. And bringing me pancakes.”
“Yes.”
No other accusations were made, but Sterling began to withdraw. She could see it in the way her eyes averted, the way that vacancy began to return, and April could not have that. Not when she was just getting her back.
“I came out to my mum,” April blurted.
“What?”
“I came out to her. Last night to be exact.”
“Aren't you worried she’ll tell your dad?”
And April’s heart clenched at that moment because Sterling was concerned for her. Even in her exhaustion, she worried.
“Are you safe at home? You can always stay here. We have a spare bedroom and Debbie kind of owes me one so…”
There it was again. Debbie.
“I’m safe. She is divorcing him, and he’s left her the house because of some shady savings he has abroad or something,” April replied.
But now Sterling was here, and present.
Blair knocked on the door. “Hey, Stevens, Mom’s heading out so you can chill out no-” She paused, taking in her sister who was now sat up. “You’re up.” But Sterling was already slipping back into discomfort, something Blair seemed to read as she said, “I’ll leave you two be.”
“Thank you.” April watched her leave.
Okay, if Sterling was present that sorted today’s task. The one she had been putting off for days because she couldn’t move her. “I’m going to run you a bath with a tonne of bubbles and then you’re going to sit in it.”
If Sterling had any complaints, she didn’t voice them so April went about running a bath with as much bubble bath as she could.
When it was almost overflowing, she tested the heat and returned to her.
“Are you okay to move?”
“You don’t have to do this,” Sterling replied.
“Do what?”
“Baby me.”
“I’m not,” April stated, cutting herself off. “I would never. I’m helping you the way I would help anyone I care for who felt like this.”
“Because you cared so much when you were flirting with Luke.”
It was a low blow and April knew what she was doing. She was trying to push her away the same way April pushed others away when she was at rock bottom. It was a defence, and yes, she may be upset but Sterling wasn’t someone who spoke with such venom. The accusation was thrown out harshly, with an edge to it that left April tearing up.
She swallowed down her emotion, placing it to the side as she said, “Come on, your bath will get cold if you leave it too long.”
As Sterling stood, she wrapped her arms around herself. It made her look small and defeated, and April couldn’t help but take her hand.
“Are you okay?”
“You’re worried if I’m okay? After I tried to force you out of the closet and put you at risk?”
April frowned. “Of course I’m worried about you. I didn’t simply switch my feelings off the night of the lock-in. And even if I had, I would still be concerned because I’m not heartless and you’re clearly going through something serious.”
“Blair didn’t tell you?”
“No. And I have to agree with her that it’s not her place to. As much as I would like to know who hurt you so I can hunt their behinds down, I also know that’s not fair to you. We all have our secrets, they don’t need to be aired for everyone to know. But if you do ever want to tell me, I’ll be here.”
“Why are you here?”
“Blair asked.”
“She asked you? Of all people?”
“I can assure you I was far more surprised than you to be approached by The Shining Twin. Apparently, she’s soft underneath all that bite.”
Something about her response left Sterling on edge, so April changed tack. “Come on, I’ll wait outside for you.”
Sterling paused by the door. “Can you… sit with me? I don’t want to be alone today.”
“In the bath?”
“I meant by it, once I’m in.”
“Oh,” April replied, flustered. “Yes, I suppose I can manage that.”
She heard the shedding of clothes and the splashing of water as Sterling got into the bath. Once she was sure she was in, April entered the room and was instantly unsure of what to do. She ended up sitting beside the bath, her knees pulled to her chest as she rested her chin on the edge of it.
Sterling was beautiful. And April couldn’t help but take that in as she laid there, covered to her neck by bubbles.
“Why Luke?”
“Honestly, I wanted to hurt you. I knew if I flirted with anyone else you would excuse it. You would see it for exactly what it was. But Luke I knew would get under your skin. I needed to push you away, to sever what we had, and Luke was the only way to do that.”
“The only way?”
“You’re so forgiving. Even when I flirted with him you were willing at first to hear me out. To gloss over it. You have this heart that… it’s so vibrant. It’s so loving and it’s one of the things I adore about you. Even when we were young you made excuses for everyone, gave them a place when they didn’t deserve it.”
“I’m not whoever you see me as,” Sterling started.
“Then who are you?” April asked, meeting her gaze. “Who is Sterling Wesley?”
“She’s the person that arrested your father,” she replied.
Shock settled in April's bones, cold and striking. “What?”
“I work as a bounty hunter. The night he was captured… Blair and I brought him in. I hit him with a pistol.”
And at that revelation, April wasn’t sure what she was expecting her reaction to be. All of a sudden she burst out with loud laughter, shocked and in denial until Sterling’s face never changed.
“How is that legal? You’re too young to hold a position like that. Surely, it’s a breach of several child safety laws in the workplace and that’s before you account for-”
“I guess it’s not like… entirely by the book. I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell Debbie. We got caught up in something and Bowser… he’s a bounty hunter. Since then we’ve been working for him.” Sterling swallowed. “We’re super gifted at it. Like Charlie’s Angels but more kick ass because it’s real criminals and guns.”
“You’re the reason my father is behind bars?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not mad,” April said. “Perhaps a little, but more because you didn’t tell me and we were together at the time.”
“I know, I-”
But April continued because something was eating at her thoughts. “Why do you keep calling your mom ‘Debbie’?”
Sterling carded her hand through the bubbles and tears began to form.
“How long have you got?” she joked half-heartedly.
“All the time you need.”
She sighed and nodded, chewing her lip. “The night of the lock-in, Debbie picked me up when I wanted to leave.”
April felt like she was going to throw up because now she felt like whatever occurred was entirely because of her leaving Sterling there.
“She turned up and I got in the car. We drove but something was off. The way she talked and her accent… it wasn’t right. It wasn’t Debbie.”
“I don’t get what you mean,” April replied. Was Debbie living some double life?
“It wasn’t her. The woman who picked me up was her twin. A twin Blair and I only found out about recently. She took me hostage, took me to someplace with a guy where I was held at gunpoint. She wanted money, not me.”
“Sterling-”
“The woman who kidnapped me, she- she was my mother. She’s an addict and involved with a lot of crime. When I was born a day before Blair, Debbie offered to raise us both together. They paid her sister off if in return she promised to leave us alone.”
“I-”
“They didn’t realise she would want more money. So she took me and threatened to kill me if her demands weren’t met. But Bowser he… he helped them. Saved me. Dana is in prison now. That’s my actual mom. I saw her once, the morning after they brought her in to ask her some things. I wish I hadn’t gone. When we got back my parents couldn’t look at me and Blair was crying.”
April couldn’t imagine the human storm cloud crying. “I’m sorry. Had I not left you there you-”
“She would have done it another time,” Sterling replied. “That was just the first chance she got.”
“Sterling-”
“Can we not talk about it anymore?” Sterling asked. “Not today.”
April agreed though she took Sterling’s wet hand that shook where it hung over the side of the bath. She let their fingers weave together with hers and squeezed.
Once she got out of the bath Sterling was shaking and couldn’t get warm. April wrapped her up in bed, laughing as she piled so many blankets on her that she became this tiny head in a cocoon.
“I’ll get you a hot drink.”
Making it down the stairs, she found Debbie in the kitchen. She looked exhausted, and she was absentmindedly staring at a book she wasn’t reading until she noted her presence.
“April, hi. Did you need anything, sweetie?”
“How about I make you a drink whilst I make one for your daughter? You look like you could use it.”
Debbie was taken aback until a loud burst of laughter left her. “What makes you think I need a drink?” Then as she realised. “You know, don’t you?”
“Where do you keep the hot chocolate?”
Debbie pointed to a cupboard as April put some milk in a pan and clicked on the heat.
“How many times have you been over?”
Perhaps she had grown too familiar with the Wesley’s kitchen this week. “A few. And before you worry, I’m not going to say anything. I think you could agree that I have borne the brunt of gossiping people before and I’m not about to add to their fuel pile. My family is a mess, but everyone has their skeletons. My fathers were beating up a sex worker… and yours are… all of that. Comparatively, I think yours is less embarrassing. Harder on your daughter, sure. But less embarrassing.”
“Well, that's something I suppose.”
April softened as she stirred the liquid in the pan. “It was admirable, what you did. Caring for Sterling, taking her in as your own and treating her no differently.”
“She hates me.”
She shrugged. “It’s a lot to process. Give her time. At the end of the day, you love and care for her. She’ll see that. But right now, her whole world and everything she knew has been turned upside down and I know a little about how that feels.”
“You forgave your daddy?”
“Gosh no,” April replied. “That man could be ten feet under for all I care. But the difference is you love Sterling. You care for her, and you have always done what you felt would make her safe and happy. My father did the opposite. It was only ever about him, not us.”
Debbie took the hot chocolate when she held out the mug. “I hope she comes around soon. She doesn’t have to love us. It’ll break me, but I get it. I need her to be happy again though. Healthy.”
“She’s getting there,” April replied.
When she found Sterling again, she was still shivering. April kicked the door shut, knowing she could get away with it until Debbie realised that they were more.
Something… even if neither knew what that was.
April ended up sitting behind her with her arms wrapped around Sterling to try and warm her up as she sipped her drink.
It was intimate, something she realised as her cheeks flushed pink; suddenly glad Sterling couldn’t see her to pry.
Sterling leaned back into her, and April let her hand comb through her damp hair; scratching her scalp as she resisted the urge to place a kiss on it.
The next day April found herself called into Ellen’s office. Her heart thudded, knowing she had missed two homework assignments.
“Debbie Wesley mentioned that you’ve been helping Sterling in the evenings.”
April froze. “She did?”
“Yes. Sterling wishes to return to school tomorrow so I thought it may be best to make sure she has either you or Blair in each of her classes. If it’s okay I thought I could switch her into your free studies period as I can’t move Blair’s around to fit?”
“That would be fine.”
“I’ll ask the teachers with seating plans to put you two beside her. Hopefully, it will help her whilst she gets used to being back.”
April nodded eagerly.
Sterling returned.
She looked tired, and her usual sunny disposition was gone. She let herself grow used to keeping up the conversation despite the silence she was met with.
Hannah B helped more.
“Ezekiel said that Patricia doesn’t actually need braces anymore. She just wears them as like… a style choice. Which is very nineties of her I guess.”
Sterling snorted. “It’s definitely a style choice.”
“Right? Like I can't tell if it's chic or a little too wild. I’m all for bringing back trends but some things need to be laid to rest. Ugh, like skinny jeans on men.”
“I like skinny jeans,” Ezekiel said as he sat down. “They’re form hugging. And God gifted me with a great behind that the world deserves to witness. I am the last supper ladies.”
It was then that she could see Sterling nervously tapping her thigh out of the corner of her eye. Silently, she took her hand and squeezed; an action that Hannah missed but Ezekiel clocked with wide eyes.
‘Not now.’ April mouthed at him.
It was later that she found herself being dragged into the girl's bathroom. “You can't be in here,” she said.
“Oh please, no one ever uses this one. Hannah drags me in here all the time because she hates urinating alone. She said the sound scares her.”
“She does,” April agreed. “It’s the echo.” Hannah and her eccentricities.
“You and Sterling, huh?”
April cleared her throat.
“Gosh. I thought maybe I was reaching but my oh my if that isn’t a blush I see. How long?”
She recounted their first date. Their first kiss before that and then everything else. Ezekiel’s closet was glass, if there was someone whom she felt comfortable talking about her sexuality with it was him.
“I had my theories since we were thirteen so I’m really enjoying being proven right here. Not Sterling though, that one’s… a surprise.”
“Please don’t tell anyone.”
“Like I would. I have class,” he said. “So, you and Sterling.”
“I don’t know that there’s a Sterling and me.”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, there’s a Sterling and you. Big time.”
After a couple of weeks, Sterling began to get her usual pep back. She also dropped using ‘Debbie’ and began calling her ‘Mom’ again. Whilst she still grew distant at times, April felt like her old Sterling was back.
She didn’t stop visiting.
April spent more time at the Wesley’s than her own house, which was a welcomed choice when her mother was out with her friends so often. She had encouraged it, knowing that her mom needed support in her life just as April did.
Really, her home still reminded her of her father or lack thereof.
This day was different.
This day would throw everything up into the air.
As they were standing in the kitchen, Sterling threw a towel at her. “I just don’t get what the point is in giving us an assignment when she clearly doesn’t understand the history herself.”
April groaned. “Our teacher is not going to need this material in college. You, however, will.” She punctuated the last three words with a firm poke to Sterling’s chest.
When she looked up their faces were inches away, and the heat of Sterling’s breath tickled her nose. She felt her mouth grow dry as Sterling rested a palm on her cheek.
“Is this okay?” Sterling asked.
Instead of answering, April leaned in. She let her lips find Sterling’s as they had before. Though now there was no fear, no worry that this would ruin everything. Now her lips roamed Sterling’s with confidence as she backed her up against the island, kissing her like she was trying to prove something.
Prove herself.
Her body flushed, and she felt the butterflies hammering away inside her as she pressed for more with a tongue that passed her lips. With a hand that gripped her hair. With panted breaths as they refused to let each other go.
A cough sounded; a clearing of someone’s throat in the background, causing both girls to whip around.
April felt her stomach jumping into her throat when her eyes landed on Debbie.
Oh dear god.
This was not good.
“Girls,” Debbie said slowly, looking between them with surprise as she cleared her throat again. But then she said, “Don’t forget to leave room for Jesus.”
Blair snorted beside her, barely containing her amusement as April wished to die on the spot. Being caught tonguing Debbie’s daughter by Debbie was never on her wish list of memories. She wanted to erase this one as soon as possible.
Sterling took one step to the side. “That enough room?”
Raising a brow until Sterling backed down, Debbie said, “Yes. Now if you don’t mind, I have shopping to put away. And Sterling hun?”
“Yes?”
“Your door stays open when April is over.”
Again, Blair burst out into hysterics.
As soon as the two left Sterling tugged her back.
April shook her head, resting a palm on her chest. “I’m not getting told off by your mother again.”
“Please, she owes me for everything. We can totes get away with another kiss. Or like… eight.”
“Eight?” April asked, leaning in.
“Mhm. Maybe nine if we’re super committed.”
As soon as they leaned in again Debbie's voice called down the hall, somehow knowing. “Room for Jesus.”
“Ugh.”