Chapter Text
“You don’t have to do any of this.”
“I owe you.” Duncan stops. They turn back, unable to keep the irritation out of their tone. “Duncan, I quite literally do not have time to explain right now—I want to introduce you to Velma and Qismah before I leave. But I need to get back to Mirage as soon as possible and—”
“—no, no, you’re not doing this to me again!” Duncan snaps, “Explain, now, or I’m going back to Wizard City and I’m going to hide out in Suzie’s house until I can face the others.”
They grit their teeth, squeeze their eyes shut for a moment.
Time is growing thin, the sands swirl ever back into place.
Raven’s voice is firmer than usual.
They ignore her.
Not this time.
He’s right.
He has earned that much of them.
If not more.
“Take your pick,” the wizard starts, “If you hadn’t shown up that night in the academy commons I might have bled out. If you hadn’t gone with the other Necromancers when I was trapped in Nidavellir none of us might have made it back alive. If you hadn’t managed to channel Shadow magic in Darkmoor I would still exist under the guilt I carried for Malistaire Drake. I owe you Duncan Grimwater, my life and beyond, regardless of whatever you think you deserve, I owe it to you.”
“I tried to kill you.”
The wizard laughs, it echoes through the Panopticon. “No—you didn’t. And if you were trying, you were doing a terrible job of it.”
“I don’t deserve anything.”
“Why not?” The wizard shoots back, “Because you made a mistake? Because people older and smarter and more manipulative than you pulled at the strings they knew would hurt the most? Would make you most sympathetic to their cause? Welcome to life as a savior of the spiral—it’s hell and high water more often than not.”
“But I—wanted to—”
“—You wanted to feel needed, and important, and like you were someone’s first choice.”
“Stop doing that—I don’t need you telling me what I already know, and I definitely don’t need you acting like you’re inside my head.”
“Clearly you do.”
It’s not friendship.
Whatever this is.
But it’s not actively eating away at them either.
It’s not the constant guilt of thinking they’ve damned someone else to their own existence.
It’s not friendship.
But maybe, with some work, it could be.