Chapter Text
The door finally opened to the familiar atmosphere and you sighed in relief, the heat of the sun and the already building stress rolled it’s way off your shoulders. Kaeya watched the way you seemed to deflate from his spot at the bar.
He’d been at the Angels Share on his day off mostly to annoy Diluc, the multiple orders he’d had replaced evidence to prove that. Diluc was festering behind the bar, glaring openly at Kaeya. He was able to do this because no one else in Mondstadt was much of a day drinker, at least on Tuesdays at 11am. He laughed to himself as he watched Diluc straighten when you walked through the door.
“Kaeya, just the guy I wanted to see.” You greeted quietly, trudging your way to the seat beside him. You greeted Diluc with a nod and gestured for him to give you your usual. You turned back to Kaeya in time to not see the look Diluc gave him. Kaeya smirked.
“Oh really? Why so?” He asked, laying on the charm thickly. Your face suddenly hardened and you glared at the countertop with a dark expression.
“I think there’s a…” You paused to try and muster up the right word in your mind. Kaeya and Diluc both watched your indecision.
“Weirdo, or something.” You finally settled on, glancing up to see the way they both were confused. You sighed, bringing your hands together on the bar in front of you.
“Maybe a… predator?” You offered. They both jolted to look at you, varying levels of anger in their eyes.
“Why do you say that?” Diluc interjected, his hands tightening around the cloth and bottle he was holding under the counter. You sighed, leaning back in your seat. He placed the dry bottle on the table top, you giving a grateful smile to him. Kaeya looked on in jealousy at your non-wet hands as you grabbed the bottle. He scorned his fifth bottle, the condensation making it almost impossible to pick up without dropping.
“Someone, a stranger no less, willingly caught Klee when she fell.” Diluc seemed to go stiff, his back ram-rod straight at your words.
“I just can’t understand why someone would do that! There’s no reason, her reputation proceeds her by miles.” You groaned, taking a sip from your bottle. Kaeya surveyed Diluc with a barely disguised expression of humour, the red-haired man decidedly only looking at you.
“So.” You slammed your bottle on the bench, standing up on the lower rungs of the bar stool you were sat on. “I must catch this creep! No weirdo shall roam around Mondstadt while I’m still breathing.” You were determined to a fault.
“That’s very commendable.” Kaeya said in a teasing tone, leaning his body down onto one elbow that rested on the bartop. “You seem incredibly committed to this.” You shrugged, plopping yourself back in your seat and taking a swig.
“Just don’t want some random getting their rocks off by sweeping kids off their feet. It’s really weird and has no place in Mondstadt.” Even talking about it more was getting you fired up. Diluc didn’t seem as set on your idea.
“I’m not sure.” He started, causing your head to snap to him. Kaeya snickered at the expression that you were sending Diluc. He held up his hands in a show of surrender.
“It might be dangerous.” You scoffed at his worry.
“I’ve dealt with worse.” You offered, rolling your eyes. He fixed you a stare that made sweat start to drip down your back. It was incredibly intense.
“Worse being a few hilichurls.” He returned, speaking tersely. Your eyes narrowed.
“Hilichurls are hard.” You defended yourself, mildly offended one of your friends was speaking to you this way.
“What if it’s one of the Fatui?” Kaeya interjected, bringing your attention away from Diluc and his strange nagging. You turned to him, kind of affronted. Not only was Diluc dissuading you, but Kaeya was too? God, did these people have no pride in the place they called home or what?
“If it was, I think it would be good grounds for Jean to finally kick them out.” You sniffed, turning your nose up. You saw Kaeya and Diluc exchange a look.
“I don’t think it would be Fatui though, they’re objectively evil but they’ve mostly kept to themselves. Plus I think it would tighten politics so much if one within their ranks were caught being such a creep.” You reasoned. Kaeya shrugged and then nodded at your explanation, accepting it with a sip from his dripping bottle.
Diluc was not as easily swayed.
“It would still be dangerous. I think you should stick to reporting it and letting the Knights of Favonius handle it.” He said calmly, watching your expression further sour.
“First, do you have no confidence in me? And secondly, leave it to an organisation you have no hope in? Do you hear yourself?” You both ignored Kaeya’s pained wince. Diluc sighed.
“I have faith in you, I just think you should leave it to the authorities. It’s not worth the risk.” He said and before you could disagree, Kaeya said something that made all the puzzle pieces fall into place.
“Yeah, leave it to the Darknight Hero, he’ll sort it out!” His voice sounded mocking, but you didn’t ponder it, instead remembering the hero’s circumstances and comparing them to Klee’s description.
Stranger? Check. Runs away from the scene of the crime? Check. Weirdo? Check!
Ok, maybe it was a bit of a stretch, but it explained some of the questions in your mind. Who would be most likely to get away with creeping on people? A secretive figure who is widely regarded as one of Mondstadt’s protectors or a random dude probably from Shneznaya.
“Oh my archon.” You said softly, standing from your place at the bar.
“What?” Kaeya asked lazily, staring down the hole of his bottle with his one eye.
“The pervert is the Darknight Hero.” You said, an air of finality surrounding your words. Kaeya’s head spun towards you so fast you were surprised his eyepatch didn’t come off. Diluc similarly stared at you, an expression you’d never seen before on his face.
Kaeya started laughing, loud. Louder than you’d ever heard him laugh.
“What? What’s so funny?” You asked, crossing your arms. He waved a hand through the air.
“Nothing, it’s just you seem so convinced!” He said, giggles permeating his words. You saw Diluc run a hand through his hair.
“Well… think about it! Anonymous saviour of Mondstadt who could do no wrong, that’s the perfect cover story!” You exclaimed from your place halfway between the door and the bar. Kaeya shook his head and Diluc was staring at you.
“Anyways,” You nodded. “I’ll get back to you guys later, I have to report everything to Jean.” You looked back at Diluc.
“Though I’ll make sure it won’t only be her who handles it.” With that, you turned with a flourish and left.
When you’d exited the building, Kaeya waited a few seconds before almost spilling out of his chair with laughter. Diluc clenched his eyebrows and his fists.
This was the most annoying thing to happen all morning.