Chapter Text
“Can I come in?” Terra asked.
Aqua’s face was flushed with embarrassment, but she nodded. She had wanted to see him, after all, even if she would’ve preferred less awkward circumstances.
Terra had to stoop a little to get through the door. Their rooms were in an old wing of the castle, which meant they were built back when people were shorter, and Terra was not a short man.
Aqua gulped as he drew closer. She was wearing baggy sleeping clothes and didn’t look very put together. Her bed had about five crumpled blankets on it too. These rooms got drafty at night, which was why fireplaces were in each of them. To distract herself, she quickly summoned her Keyblade and mumbled a quick Fire spell under her breath to light the fireplace. Now there was a warm, crackling fire in the corner, and its familiar sounds were relaxing and soothing.
Terra stood awkwardly by her bed. He likewise was dressed more comfortably than his usual attire: simple sweatpants and a t-shirt that still managed to be form-fitting because his muscles made it impossible not to be.
Her face flushed again, but for a much more pleasant reason this time. She patted the spot next to her, and Terra carefully sat down, making the bed creak.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so standoffish lately,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about everything and getting lost in my thoughts. But I want to be here for you and Ven.”
Her lips parted. She still wasn’t used to him being so open and honest. But he and she and Ven had talked about what had driven them apart, and bad communication was at the top of the list. So now they were all trying to get better at good communication. Which meant she should be honest too.
“Thank you,” she said. “I want that too.”
“To be honest, I don’t really know what to do next,” he admitted. “Being back feels better than I could’ve dreamed. Being myself again, being free of Xehanort for good, being whole…it’s like I’m getting a second chance at life. But with Sora gone, it feels wrong to be happy.”
“I know what you mean. Why are we here when he’s gone? I keep replaying what happened in my mind, over and over again, thinking about what I could’ve done differently.” She smiled bitterly. “Something I’ve always been good at. Ruminating over past mistakes. I don’t need other people to torment and torture me, I do it to myself just fine.”
“You and me both,” Terra said, his head drooping and his voice heavy. “I can’t help but feel like Sora’s death is my fault.”
“I feel the same way. I told Ven earlier that that means we’ll just have to save Sora. But I have no idea how.”
A few long moments of silence passed as Terra searched her face. “We could…we could go to the realm of darkness,” he said at last.
Aqua shuddered. It was a possibility she’d considered. That place had so many ties to death that it would be silly not to at least check. But the thought of returning to that hellish place where she’d been trapped for over a decade? Her stomach roiled at the thought of it.
Playing with one of the blankets on the bed, she said, “I know it isn’t rational, I know you and Ven would be with me, but I…I’m scared of going back. I’m scared of something happening and getting trapped there and winding up alone again.”
For so long she’d been on her own. Going back to that existence was her worst nightmare. She hoped Sora wasn’t alone. She wouldn’t wish the solitude on her worst enemy. It ate you up inside, made you crave something, anything from another living being. A kind word. A gentle touch. After a while she started hearing voices and fantasizing about past touches, hoping they would happen again. Haunted by the ghosts of her own memories. No wonder she’d created a phantom out of her fears.
“You won’t be. I won’t let that happen,” Terra promised, his voice low and determined. The look on his face as the flames from the fireplace flickered across it…she knew he was deadly serious and would keep this promise with his life.
Oh how badly she wanted to touch him. Her hand twitched as she restrained it. She hadn’t realized how much she would miss human touch during her time in the realm of darkness. But after returning, she realized it wasn’t just any touch she craved the most. It was his touch.
“It’s messed up, I know,” she admitted, “but after a while…even a stray Heartless brushing up against me during battle felt good. I sometimes…I sometimes let them, even if it meant I got clawed. Just to feel something.”
He rested his hand over hers, and a pleasurable shudder went through her whole body. She noticed his hand trembling a little too. Maybe he’d been touch starved in his own way too. He’d been in the realm of light, sure, but not as himself. His heart had been trapped inside that guardian, and how often had he really gotten any sort of physical affection?
“Thank you, that feels nice,” she murmured. He tenderly stroked her fingers, and it felt even better.
“You’re not alone, Aqua.” He caressed her arm, and her breath caught. She was no slouch in the physical strength department, but his hand was so much bigger and stronger than hers and yet so gentle.
“I know.”
He cupped her cheek, and now her breathing really was shaky. It felt so good and he was being so bold and everything was overwhelming. But a good kind of overwhelming. So very, very good. She just wasn’t used to touching again yet, especially not like…like this.
He smiled as he caressed her cheek, and she rested a hand over his. She wanted to touch him too. Wanted to give him what they both craved. They weren’t alone anymore, and why not celebrate that fact? If it would help her face her fears and go back to the realm of darkness to search for Sora, then there was nothing wrong with enjoying this closeness with Terra.
No, that wasn’t it either. She wanted to be close to him for the sake of being close to him. Might as well be honest with herself about it.
“Aqua,” he murmured, running a thumb over her lips, and her breath hitched. A part of her felt like this wasn’t real: the look in his eyes, the feel of his hand, the warm fire crackling in the corner. The fact they were in her room, alone, together. That he wanted her and she wanted him and they both craved each other’s touch and company. But it was real. It was real, and she wanted to savor every moment.
He leaned close, and her eyes fluttered shut. His lips brushed against hers, and all the bad memories fighting for her attention melted away. In this moment only the two of them mattered. She wasn’t alone. She was here with him, and in these stolen moments they could make up for lost time.
She wrapped her arms around him as he deepened the kiss, and he did likewise. Embracing at last. Oh, they’d hugged before, but never like this. If she’d been starving for all those years, she was now at a banquet for two and not entirely sure where to begin. But they would figure it out together, she was sure of that.
She’d saved him all those years ago, and now, in his own way, he was saving her. Or maybe it was more accurate to say they were saving each other. Ending the loneliness and solitude and longing for affection that had plagued them both.
Whatever it was, she was glad they had each other.