Chapter Text
Lim had always been a secure person, she had to be in order to succeed in her job. To the outside, she still was the same intense, hard-shelled Dr. Lim. But now, from time to time, she allowed herself to be vulnerable. Around Clay, at least. She felt safe, admitting to him, that being in the brake room still made her uncomfortable, that flashbacks happened from time to time, but now were starting to get less. She talked to him about her scars, being honest about how it was taking her time to accept them as part of her body. Audrey also admitted that it still was weird, being on the other side. To be the patient. To having to listen to the advice she usually told others. She learned to communicate her needs in a healthy way. And she was so proud of herself. And very thankful, that Porter was everything she had never wanted, but found. Making her very happy. He listened and tried to be encouraging and support her through the hard days. Clay told her as often as she needed to hear it, that her body was perfect the way it was, that he loved her no matter if she walked or was in a wheelchair. And reminded her that she was allowed to be proud of every step she took. Never hiding his awe for everything she had achieved and was still in the process of achieving. He asked her to take breaks, when he saw she tried too hard to get through with whatever she was doing, whether it was work or something in their private life. And, he tried to always remind her, that she didn’t have to worry about them. Lim had noticed, every time she had expressed some doubts about their relationship, the ring would show up. For a day or two, before it was gone again. Never being commented on. And she had been so grateful for that, figuring there was no need to address it any further.
Until Andrews had to become noisy. The day had started out so well, she had managed to bring them coffee, before it had gotten cold, walking all on her own. With Clay grinning at her, telling her his patience was endless for her, instead of agreeing with her complaint that she was still not fast enough. Which honestly, he had proven in the past months more often than she would like to admit. They had had a great morning, enjoying their coffee together, before kissing goodbye and heading into work. Porter had wished her luck for the day and told her she got it. Letting her feel like she was able to do a good job as chief, handling the talk with her resident, without saying more than three words. Lim had still no idea how he was able to do this – be that supportive, make her feel so confident, without saying much, only one look usually was enough.
And then she met her boss in the elevator and the dreaded small talk started. There weren’t a lot of people in the hospital who dared to ask her about her empty ring finger. Every time the topic came up, which happened less and less, she did her best to throw whoever was talking, a look, that shut them up. But well, Marcus had become immune to her looks. Especially since he had once again become president. She had tried to be nonchalant, when he told her about his doubts about Clay being fine and indirectly implied her boyfriend wouldn’t wait much longer. Which Audrey knew was crazy. They weren’t like that. Clay didn’t need an answer. But the longer the day went on, the more she thought about it and started to become insecure. What if Porter had only been fine with waiting until she was healed and had recovered? What if the ring showing up now, meant he was expecting an answer? What if, he wouldn’t wait any longer? What if his patience was running out? What if he was starting to doubt her commitment? She did not want any of that.
At the end of the day, by the time they were sitting at her dinner table, her anxious thoughts had taken up so much space, that Audrey wasn’t even able to eat her pizza. While he had been eating, she had spent the time recapping her day, talking so much, that he wouldn’t think anything of the fact that she wasn’t eating. All the while Audrey was trying to find the nerves to ask the questions on her mind. Even if she felt comfortable talking to him, this wasn’t something she could easily bring up. Admittedly, fearing his answers. Scared that things would change for the worse by talking about it.
And the moment he took the ring of the table she knew why she hadn’t wanted to say anything in the first place. The thought alone, that he was un-proposing, that they were taking a step back, it didn’t feel right. In that moment, she also realised, she did not not want to be engaged. Her eyes got big, while she tried to get her mind in order. The fact that he stayed so calm and didn’t make it a big deal out of it, that he heard her out and tried to find a solution to make her feel better immediately, helped her put her mind at ease. Audrey appreciated what he was doing. Once again, letting her set the pace. His answer made her relax and let her breathe more easily. His ‘I love you’ giving her the confidence that they truly were fine.
So, she took the time to think it through. She wasn’t ready to get married, not yet. They’d known each other for too little time to make that decision. And she knew, once she said yes, the question or rather doubt, if it was too soon, would be her constant companion. Yeah, she didn’t want that. But the millisecond in which she had thought he had taken his question back, let her know, she wasn’t completely opposed to the idea either. Which surprised her, she hadn’t seen herself getting married again, even a year ago. Thinking about it alone, made her head hurt.
What Lim did know was that she did want to move forward. She was sure of that. Then she thought about his comment, about how it was his third time staying over this week, when it had only been Wednesday and, suddenly, she knew what she wanted her next step to be.
“So, at what pace do you would you like this moving in together to happen?” Clay asked later that evening. Having spent the whole day grinning so much, that his cheeks hurt. Now, they were done eating and laying on his sofa together, it seemed like a fitting moment to start talking about it.
“In a timeframe that won’t stress us out, but I also don’t want to keep pushing it off.” Audrey answered, with her head on his chest, sharing his excitement. To her luck she still felt as secure in her decision as she did when she had started thinking about it. Sharing her life with another person like that, was a little scary but even more exciting. She was really in love with the idea of having someone home to come home to and fall asleep next to as often as possible.
“Okay. I could start bringing some of my clothes with me, every time I come over. Once my place is almost empty, I’ll look into renting or selling it. How does that sound?” He suggested, playing with her hair, while looking through his living room. His space was a little bigger than hers, but he didn’t mind moving in with her and giving up most of his stuff. “There are few keepsakes of furniture I’d like to take with me. Would that be oaky with you?” He continued thinking out loud, once he had felt her nod.
“Of course. Look, I know I said my pace, but that doesn’t mean your opinion or needs don’t matter.” Lim told him, looking up, making sure to catch his eye. She wanted to assure him of that. Sometimes she felt like she took up a lot more space in this relationship than he did. And while she could admit, in the last months she had needed exactly that, now she wanted to start to even it out a bit. Honestly, she was quite proud of herself that she had taken up the space she had needed without feeling guilty about it. Yet, she knew a relationship went two ways and she wanted Clay to feel as comfortable as she did and be there for him, like he had been for her.
“I get to fall asleep and wake up next to you, I already have what I want. If we feel like this space is too small, we’ll look for something bigger. We have time, right?“ He replied with a cheeky grin, knowing these cheesy answers made her roll her eyes. “And it’s more important to me, that this works out. If that means we need a longer adjustment period or spent more nights apart than not, I’m fine with this as well.” He replied seriously, kissing her forehead.
“Could you stop being so perfect please? Makes me afraid I’m missing a major red flag.” Lim mumbled into his neck, where she hid her face. Not yet used to be in a relationship with such open communication.
“I thought me being in the Raider Nation was a flaw, you’re gracefully trying to ignore?” He laughed, knowing he was far from perfect, but their baggage matched each other’s well enough for it to not become a problem.
“Yeah. Don’t even think your jerseys will make it into the wardrobe. You’re lucky if they get to be in a box stuffed under the bed.” Lim laughed, kissing his shoulder, before turning again, so they could look through the room together. He was way more whimsical than she was, with family photos strewn across the room and personal items added as decoration. It made her smile, when she found a picture of them next to his TV.
“Hey, what have the jerseys done to you, to receive such harsh treatment?” He laughed, not able to keep a straight face asking this. Loving the carefree look on her face. These small interactions gave him confidence that this wasn’t a rushed proposal from her, but something she really wanted.
“Raider Nation. Isn’t that reason enough?” She asked with a raised eyebrow, a soft smile never leaving her face. She then turned to him and kissed him purposefully. “I might be convinced to show some mercy and let them reside in a box at the bottom of the wardrobe.” She added suggestively, going in for another kiss. Deciding that planning the move could wait for another day, this was way more important.