Chapter Text
Katara was in a haze as she followed along behind her older self. It was like every time she tried to grab onto any higher thought it just turned to mist and slipped between her fingers. The rest of the group was following along as well and they seemed to be taking it better than her. Most of them at least. Sokka was open-mouthed, staring at her with a hint of accusation in his expression that she did not care for.
The group processed into what looked like a fairly well equipped healer’s office. A few of the contraptions tucked into the corners of the room were recognizable, but even more were an absolute conundrum for Katara. Old Katara didn’t hesitate to pull herself up onto a high cushioned sofa that she then immediately laid back on. Katara felt second-hand envy for all the women in the Southern Water Tribe who’d never had access to such a useful piece of furniture. The room was large, but not enough for the amount of people that started funneling into it.
A squat man, bald with a large bushy mustache that completely covered his mouth and made Katara think of a walrus of all things, stepped through the door and immediately scowled at the room. “Absolutely not!” he almost shouted. “Out! Out, the lot of you. It’s too crowded.”
Some of the older people present looked cowed, Old Zuko especially, but none of them made to leave. The man, seemingly aware that no one is going to listen to him, just turned and pulled a stool up toward the chair Old Katara had climbed into.
“How long have you been having contractions?” he asked as though the room was not full of people.
Old Katara rolled her eyes. “Since I woke up.” There were several gasps from around the room, but the man just rolled his eyes and scowled at her.
“And you didn’t say anything?” Old Zuko asked aghast.
“I’ve been having random contractions all week!” Old Katara shot back. “That’s entirely normal.”
The man, who was most likely a healer of some sort, spoke up before Old Zuko could respond. “Well, I’m going to need to take a look down there so unless you want to flash everyone in th-”
He was cut off as the door slammed open again. A black, gold, red, and white blur shot through the room and resolved itself into a woman standing at Old Katara’s side and holding her hand. She was wearing rich intricate robes, similar to the ones Old Zuko was wearing, and her hair was pulled into an almost identical top knot. She had a crown but with a few less flame points than Old Zuko, and a rich purple band around her throat that held a blue stone which Katara immediately identified as a betrothal necklace. Her eyes were a bright molten gold and everything from her hair to her jawline to the cut of her robe could be described as sharp.
She was also, undeniably, Old Azula. And the only word that went through Katara’s head was ‘ pretty ’.
It was not the first time Katara had thought that about some version of Azula. It was part of what made her dangerous. She was like a knife wrapped in carefully embroidered silk. This Azula wasn’t quite the same though. There was still the hint of danger to her, but there was also an amount of softness that Katara had never seen before. She’d put on a bit of weight, which made her look less severe and deprived than she’d looked in all the times they’d fought before. There was also the blatant care with which she held Old Katara’s hand, like she was restraining herself from tugging Old Katara into her arms only barely. The cold malice and hint of dangerous instability that had always been in her eyes, especially since the day of the eclipse, was gone. Instead she looked at Old Katara like she held the whole world in her arms, even as her brows pulled together in clear worry.
Katara felt a triple realization slam into her as the one she’d been avoiding since Old Katara marched away from the table in the courtyard was joined by two others ‘ I like girls ’ was joined by ‘ I have a wife in the future. ’ and (more emphatically) ‘ Oh spirits, I’m married to Azula in the future ’. By all reasonable metrics, she should have been absolutely gob-smacked. She should have been babbling incoherently and denying it internally. But instead she just felt relief. The type of relief she felt when she finally remembered someone’s name after days of trying to remember or the relief of finally figuring out the precise motions for a waterbending move. It felt like something slotting into place and Katara felt her mind give one long exhale of realization as she suddenly put dozens of smaller signs and clues together into a completely new configuration.
The rest of the room was staring at her. The adults with bemusement (except for Old Sokka who was practically gleeful), and her friends with horror (except for Suki who just looked smug). Katara wasn’t really paying attention to them though, because Azula was reaching forward and cradling Old Katara’s cheek in her hand like she was made of glass.
“Kat?” Katara almost swooned at the way Azula managed to stuff so much concern and love into one pet name. “Are you okay? This wasn’t supposed to happen for another week at least. The healer’s not here yet.”
Old Katara smiled indulgently and Katara barely registered the sound of Sokka making a cut off noise in the back of his throat. “I told you this would happen, Zula. Babies don’t like to wait and they hate playing by the rules.”
Azula laughed softly to herself and Katara felt uncomfortable as she realized this was an intensely personal moment that most of the people in the room would not have been privy to under usual circumstances. “Quick question.” Azula said, not taking her eyes off Old Katara. “Do you see younger versions of yourself and your friends or is that just me?”
Old Katara smiled, but not in a way that she thought Azula was telling a joke. “I see them too. Spirit nonsense.”
Azula groaned and slumped forward so that her forehead was pressed into Old Katara’s shoulder. “Today, of all the days.” After a moment she stood up straight again and turned to address the room. “Welcome to the future. I’m sure you all have questions. From everyone’s shock I assume my wife did not tell you all about me or I was even more of a monster as a kid than I thought.” She cracked an almost shy smile at her own joke but it faded fast as no one laughed.
Katara noticed Old Katara scowl at Azula’s back and mumble, “No monster talk.”
Azula sighed with all the energy of a well trod argument. “Fine. Would everyone in their proper time collect their younger self and wait in the hall?” Sokka started to protest but a hand on his shoulder from Old Sokka was enough to stop him in his tracks. “I promise, I’ll be out in a few minutes to submit myself to your questioning.” That seemed to be enough to get everyone to start filing out, even if some of them (Aang and Sokka) did it with clear reluctance. Katara moved to follow them. “Wait!” Azula called out. “Not you Kitty.”
Katara paused and turned to find a look of confusion on Old Katara’s face that she was sure mirrored her own. “Kitty?” Old Katara asked.
Azula shrugged. “You’re Kat. She’s little Kat. Ergo, Kitty.” Old Katara shot Azula a look that was so achingly fond that Katara had to look away. This new Azula was so different to the one she was used to. The way her and Old Katara were constantly glancing at each other, how they were always touching in some way, how Azula had stormed into the room and immediately put herself between the rest of the world and Old Katara. It was all so incongruous with the image of the evil Fire Nation princess that she’d known that it was easier to see her as not just a changed person, but an entirely other person. Someone completely unconnected to the girl that had almost killed Aang and sent her best friends to prison. “Do you want to stay?”
Katara realized she’d been lost in her own head and had to blink back to reality. “What?” she asked intelligently.
“Do you want to stay? You have as much of a right to be here for the birth as I do. And we were expecting to have a waterbender healer here but they arrive tomorrow.” Katara spent a moment gaping like a fish, overwhelmed at the prospect of helping deliver her own baby . Azula leaned down to fake whisper to Old Katara, “I think I broke her,” which was enough to knock her out of it.
“Sure! I- I mean, yeah. I’ll help.”
“Your highness,” the bald man, who Katara had completely forgotten about, spoke up, “if you would please move aside for a moment, I need to begin my examination.” Katara couldn’t help but notice that he seemed far more deferential to Azula than he had been to everyone else. Including Old Zuko.
Azula nodded. “Of course.” She took a moment to squeeze Old Katara’s hand. “We’ll be just outside.” Without even a glance back, Azula swept out of the room. She paused only to put a guiding hand on Katara’s shoulder, which she was still too stunned to react to, and led her out as well.
They heard the argument playing out in the hallway before they’d even opened the door. “-st leave her in there with them! She’s crazy!” Sokka was practically shouting. Katara noticed Azula sigh softly with resignation as she pushed the door aside.
“Behold!” Azula said, immediately drawing the entire hallway’s attention to herself, and by extension Katara, “your sister remains unharmed.” Her tone was so dry Katara was briefly reminded of the Si Wong desert.
“Let go of her!” Sokka demanded and reached for Katara to pull her away from Azula. For her part, Katara was still reeling a bit and, while she didn’t necessarily appreciate Sokka’s sudden need to protect her, she knew going along with it was easier at the moment. She didn’t miss the way Azula didn’t fight Katara being pulled away, but her hand did twitch in her direction, as though she’d only just held herself back from reaching out. It was an oddly touching gesture, in a way she was not remotely ready to comprehend.
Azula huffed and locked eyes with Old Sokka. “Weren’t you supposed to be the ‘ smart one ’?” She made air quotes with her fingers in a way that made it clear she disagreed with that designation. “How did you manage that when you were so thoroughly unable to read a room or use basic logic?”
“Hey! Don’t ignore me!” Sokka protested.
“Why shouldn’t I? You’re clearly not thinking straight.” Azula asked with an arched brow while she actually looked at Sokka for the first time since they’d entered the hallway. “It’s been ten years since your time if I'm reading things correctly, do you really doubt the ability of people to change? For spirit's sake, your Zuko betrayed and attacked you all of a few weeks ago by your memory!” She gestured to Zuko and both he and Old Zuko grimaced.
“Yeah!” Aang spoke up, “Because you convinced him to!”
Azula nonchalantly checked her nails. “Am I really to be attacked for simply being good at my job?” Katara thought it was a bit more complicated than that. She didn’t really know how she was supposed to react to all this. On some level she wanted to support her older self and defend Azula (what a strange thought to have), but on the other she was just as confused as to how this could have happened as the others clearly were.
“YES!” Sokka shot back emphatically. “When your job is to try and kill us!”
“Well I think you’re just being unreasonable.”
Sokka went to retort, but Suki actually took a full step in front of him to cut him off. “Maybe we should just get to the questioning?” She sounded mildly plaintive.
“Okay, how long have you and Katara been together?” Aang asked, eyes narrowed and bouncing back and forth between Katara and Azula. Katara noticed Old Aang sigh and roll his eyes.
Azula scoffed. “Calm down Avatar. I won’t be tempting your waterbender away from the light of good and peace for another few years in your time.” Katara grimaced at the way she’d phrased it, but did feel comforted that she had some time to come to terms with Azula before they apparently fell in love. Aang did not appear to calm down at all.
“How?” Sokka almost shouted as he gestured haltingly between the two of them.
“Oh it’s that old classic story. Girl meets girl, girl tries to kill girl several times, girl is betrayed and abandoned by all her friends and family and suffers a psychotic break, girl defeats and imprisons girl, girl helps girl learn to love and trust again. We’ve all heard it a thousand times.” Katara had a hard time believing she could find someone so snarky lovable, but it was at least a bit amusing.
“How are you all okay with this‽” Sokka asked the group at large, though clearly focused on the adults.
“Ehh. It’s been ten years.” Old Toph shrugged. “Sure Princess Sparky has a lot of snark, but she’s alright. And she and Sugarqueen are absolutely disgusting with each other. And I don’t even have to see all the heart eyes they apparently send each other.” There were nods from the rest of the adults and Katara tried to imagine a world where she was not only in love with Azula, but smitten. “They’re both big girls, not much we could do to stop it even if we wanted to.”
“She almost killed Aang!” Sokka insisted.
“Yeah!” Aang added unhelpfully.
“Well, I didn’t succeed.” Azula gestured at both Aangs. “Obviously. Again, Zuzu almost killed you more times than I did, but he gets to be a member of your little group while I get yelled at?”
“This is different!” Aang insisted.
“Enough!” Katara butted in. “It’s not different.” She turned to focus on Aang. “You were one of the first of us to trust Zuko again after the eclipse, you’re always talking about finding the good in people. Why can’t you do that now, when it’s obvious?” Without hesitating she turned on Sokka. “And you! Azula is right,” and wasn’t that strange to say, “you’re not thinking straight. Clearly this Azula isn’t evil. I don’t need you to protect me now and I certainly don’t need you to do it in the future. So just stop and be reasonable!”
Sokka and Aang both wilted under her dressing down and stayed silent after she finished. The adults were sharing smirks amongst each other, which Katara might have noticed were it not for the arm that slid across her shoulders and pulled her into a side hug.
“Aww. Thanks, love.” Azula said with a cheeky grin in both her tone and on her face. Despite the fact that there was basically nothing romantic about the gesture, Katara still felt her cheeks warm up. There was a moment of heavy silence that no one seemed eager to break.
Finally, the door behind Katara opened and when she turned she found the bald man from earlier standing there. “I’ve finished my examination, you can come back in if you’d like.” Azula barely let the man finish before she was barreling past him.
Katara had helped deliver babies before. Three to be exact. The first had been only a few months after Hakoda had left to fight. She’d still been too young to do much more than fetch water and rags and wait quietly in the corner. The adults hadn’t really known what to do with her at that point. Everyone knew about her bending and everyone also knew that she was forbidden to practice it. But no one who’d seen the work of a waterbending healer could deny how useful a skill like that could be, so she was always brought along to watch as bones were set or old cures were administered. The thing she remembered the most was just how loud birth was, the endless hours of screaming.
The second time was in the Northern Water Tribe. As much as Katara was a warrior, and as frustrating as Pakku’s dismissal had been, it was undeniable that healing was no less a valid field of mastery as combat was. By the end of their time in Agna Qel’a Katara had been splitting her time almost equally between Pakku’s sparring grounds and Yagoda’s healing hall. Healing came easy for her (not that she would ever admit that to Pakku, who definitely would have been a bit of a smug jerk about it). One day a woman had come into the hall in the middle of labor and everyone had jumped into action. Yagoda had grabbed Katara and brought her to the front of the crowd of students that formed around the woman, more of a teaching aid than an expectant mother at that point. The process took hours and Katara mostly remembered how wet it was, and the way the baby had looked when it was held up and glistened in the soft blue lights of the hall.
The third time was at the Serpent’s Pass. Katara had been crashing off the end of the adrenaline spike from the encounter with the eponymous serpent when she and Ying were ducking into the small stone hut that Toph had built. That time, the birth stank. The hut was unventilated and small. Ying and Than hadn’t had the luxury of a bath for days at that point and the exertion and cramped quarters meant they were all sweating profusely. That was so different from the comparatively sterile experiences in the Water Tribes. It was also the first time she was directly involved, and without any support at that. Despite all that had been taken from them, the spirits decided to smile upon Ying and Than that day and the birth was luckily straightforward. Katara didn’t even want to think about what might have happened if it hadn’t.
So Katara had helped deliver babies before. She’d never helped deliver her own baby before however. It was an important distinction to make. Intellectually it was no different from any other birth, but emotionally it was entirely different. There was no way she’d be able to remain dispassionate in this instance. If something happened to either Old Katara and the baby, Katara shuddered to consider. She was beginning to regret her earlier offer to help, but she would never have rescinded it. On some level she needed to be there. So it was not without a huge helping of trepidation that she followed Azula back into the room.
Azula took up a post at Old Katara’s side and did not move from the spot for the whole delivery. Birth, generally, is not a fast process, and so Azula stood next to Old Katara for hours. A chair was brought for her early in the process, but she never used it to Katara’s memory. In between contractions, the whole group talked. In practice, that meant everyone grilled Azula and Old Katara about their relationship. They were surprisingly willing to talk about it given Old Katara’s earlier adamant refusal. They got the whole torrid melodrama, replete with angst and tender moments, healing and relapses, trust and tentative steps toward it. At a few points Katara had to wick tears from her eyes, and she was pretty sure she wasn’t the only one. By the end of it, everyone seemed far more settled about the idea of Azula and Old Katara, even if Katara was still getting some concerned/scrutinizing glances.
Eventually, everyone but the royal healers and Katara were kicked out. As weird as the situation was over all, the birth itself was mundane. There was some pushing and screaming from Old Katara as Katara did her best to sooth away as much of the pain as she could. In the back of her mind, Katara noticed how Azula spent the whole time leaned over and whispering Old Katara’s ear, tones soft and low and laced with fondness. When the baby arrived it was hale and hearty and absolutely tiny. The bald healer placed it in Katara’s arms for the initial cleaning and she just froze. She’d had no part in this child’s creation, she’d not known of its existence a few hours ago, and she’d not carried it for the last nine months and change, but immediately she knew she loved it. Its face was scrunched up in confusion and it was screaming too loudly to have possibly come from something of that size and it was perfect.
A subtle throat clearing snapped her out of it. She glanced over to find both Old Katara and Azula giving her a fond, if exasperated, look. Feeling a bit embarrassed she quickly pulled some water from a nearby basin and swiped the baby clean. It was only at that point that she noticed it was a girl. She bit down hard on the ache in her chest as she handed the baby over to Old Katara, the instinct to hold the girl close and never let her go.
“A girl. I told you so.” Azula said around a grin that was so wide it nearly blinded as she gazed down at the baby in Old Katara’s arms. She ran a knuckle over a pudgy cheek and Old Katara did the same, eyes half-lidded and smile punch-drunk.
“Kya.” Old Katara said. “Our little Kya.” She tilted her head up and looked at Azula who gazed down at her with pure love in her eyes. Katara took in the whole little tableau and realized that she wanted this. She wanted this little family and this life and she wanted it desperately.
Despite looking like death frozen over, Old Katara was subjected to several examinations by the Fire Nation healers and the cooing of all everyone present while Kya was passed around. It wasn’t until a few hours later that Azula was able to herd everyone out so Old Katara could finally pass out. Something she promptly did. Katara stayed to help get Kya comfortable in the frankly ostentatious bassinet that had been delivered to the room in the chaos. That was the reason she’d have given if pressed, but in actuality she didn’t want to be separated from Kya. Azula must have noticed the longing in her gaze because she didn’t usher Katara out with the others.
“She’s really something, isn’t she?” Katara jumped a bit at the sudden words from right next to her. She looked over to find Azula looking into the bassinet with an expression that she could only assume was similar to her own. Behind her Old Katara was fast asleep, having relinquished her last meager hold on consciousness.
“Yeah.” Katara replied dumbly. Azula smiled like she understood the various levels of shock Katara was operating under.
“You know,” Azula said without taking her eyes off Kya, “it doesn’t have to be me.” Katara’s brows pulled together in confusion and she noticed the way Azula’s hand was grabbing onto Old Katara’s extended one.
“What?”
“You want her. Right?” Azula nodded toward Kya. “Don’t deny it, I can see it in your eyes. I’ve learned to read you.”
“Well, yeah.” Katara didn’t even try to deny it. “Look at her, she’s perfect.”
“She is. But I don’t need to explain biology to you. You could have your Kya without having to involve your Azula. I could tell you the name of the donor.” Katara’s confusion must have been obvious, because Azula just huffed a laugh and rolled her eyes like she was being slow. “I know I joked about it earlier, but young me really was a monster. I can’t imagine it’s easy to find out you two ended up together. You helped me. Helped me learn to be a better person, make better choices, but the stuff I did isn’t the kind of stuff you can just forget. I still don’t know why Kat has stayed with me, I don’t want you to think you’re trapped with someone you hate.”
Katara blinked owlishly at her as she finished speaking. It seemed that every time this Azula opened her mouth she said something that completely shattered Katara’s previous view of her. For a long moment she couldn’t think of how to respond. Azula just continued to smile down at Kya like she hadn’t just stunned Katara into silence.
“I don’t.” Finally tumbled from Katara’s mouth like she knocked it loose while looking for something intelligent to say. Azula paused and, for the first time, looked up at Katara in clear confusion.
“Don’t what?” she asked.
“Hate you.” Katara rushed out, seizing on at least that train of thought. Azula simply cocked an eyebrow in clear doubt. Katara grimaced a bit. “I don’t really like my Azula,” she elected to ignore the way the words ‘my Azula’ made her feel, not enough time, “and I probably did hate her a bit after Ba Sing Se, but I mostly just feel sorry for her.”
“Why?”
“Zuko told us about what his life was like growing up. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. She’s frustrating, really frustrating, and the times I’ve seen her have been scary, but mostly I feel sorry for her.”
Azula barked out a laugh. “Don’t tell her that. The last thing she wants is your pity.”
Katara rolled her eyes. “I can imagine.” She looked over at the passed out form of Old Katara. “I’m happy here. I never would have thought this is where I’d end up, but it’s nice to know this is possible.”
“So you’re not about to run for the hills?” Azula asked, she wore a broad smirk, but Katara could see the uncertainty underneath it. She must have been as tired as Katara was.
“No. We’ll see how things go, but out of all the futures to aim for, this one isn’t the worst.”
Azula chuckled wryly, but Katara saw how her shoulders drooped with relief. “What a vote of confidence, really makes me feel cherished.” Katara laughed a bit, but stopped when Kya let out a little whimper. She quickly reached down to brush across her little head and sooth her back to sleep. Once it was clear that disaster had been averted she pulled her hand back. “If I can make a suggestion, don’t keep this from her. She won’t believe you, but it would be worse for her to find out after she’s made some progress. She might even feel more comfortable with you if she thinks she knows what you’re trying to get out of her.”
Katara’s face screwed up. “That’s a terrible way to view the world.”
Azula smiled and patted her on the shoulder. “One of the things for you both to work on then. Now you should find somewhere to pass out. It’s been a long day and I know my Kat would be furious to find out I let you stay up so late.” Katara nodded and made to leave. “Oh and Kitty?” Katara looked back as she reached the door. Azula was climbing into a small cot that had been placed next to Old Katara. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.” Katara ducked out of the room. The room across the hall had its door open and had been emptied of all but a half dozen sleep mats. All her friends were scattered around and Katara found a free one to lay down on. It didn’t take long for sleep to claim her.
Katara woke up on something far too comfortable to be a sleep mat, with a ceiling above her that looked familiar, and with no one around her.
“Thank you, Katara.” Zuko’s voice was weak, but Katara just felt relief. Things had been so close. She thought the image of Azula’s frozen arms, only a heartbeat away from launching a bolt of lightning into her face, would stick in her mind for a while.
“I think I’m the one that should be thanking you.” She’d told herself again and again not to expect Azula to treat her any differently than she had the whole war, but she’d still been completely surprised when she shot that lightning at her. It hurt, in a way that she had a hard time explaining. She was just as frustrated with herself as she was with Azula. Honestly she should have known better.
She shoved everything down and helped Zuko stand. The pair turned to where she’d chained Azula up. Katara’s heart broke a bit as she watched Azula writhe and scream in frustration and despair. Her bursts of flame shrank and shrank until they petered out entirely. Eventually she was a miserable lump of despair, sobs, and chains. As much as Katara wanted to rush forward and pull her into her arms, to wipe away the pain, she knew she couldn’t. There would be time for that, in the future.