Chapter Text
Lu Guang's POV:
It was a warm afternoon, I sat there on the sofa staring off into nowhere, I looked to the side and saw pictures of the Qiao Ling, Chengshi, and me, one that caught my eye was our graduation photo. I’ll never admit it to Cheng but he looked cute in his cap and gown, a soft smile made its way onto my face as I picked up the picture. I considered going back to relive that moment again but that’s abuse of our power…I sighed.
Clap
Like that, I opened my eyes and I was back, Shanshan laughed as she moved from behind the camera. “You guys look adorable” she smiled, Cheng laughed beside me before looking in my direction. His hand was still around me as he got close “Can’t believe we did it huh Lu?” I stared at him eyes wide, and another small smile crept onto my face as I closed my eyes. Qiao Ling hugged both of us. It felt nice reliving this day again.
I forgot how reckless we were when we celebrated that night, Cheng and I parted from Shanshan, Qiao Ling, and Dong Yi. They wanted to give the two of us time together, not that I minded.
Chengshi wanted to stay at home, he claimed he was “too tired” and wanted to enjoy the “beginning of his new life free from school” It didn’t matter what he wanted to do, I’d comply just to be around him. I never realized how I felt that day when I was around him, my stomach felt strange whenever I looked at him, and my eyes would somehow always find their way to him.
We walked into the shop, the sun had already started to set as we both changed and sat at our usual spot, the sofa. I went on my phone but I was distracted, I felt Cheng’s gaze on me and I slowly looked up to see him staring, he smiled. “You haven’t said much today huh, something on your mind? We’re supposed to be happy today not be gloomy like usual.” He groaned, and my face stayed the same as I kept staring at him. I loved the way he looked at me, the way his eyes met mine always managed to make my stomach sick.
“Lu, what do you want to do after our debts are paid off.” I looked back to him, thinking over his question, he’s never asked that before. “I’m not sure” I responded blatantly, I knew what I wanted, I wanted to be with him. He stayed quiet, he was thinking, “I’m not sure what I wanna do either, if I’m being honest I wouldn’t mind staying here, working in this photoshop with you…and Qiao Ling of course.” His face started to turn red, he hadn’t meant to word it like that, it felt nice, to see him like this again. He started rambling about what he meant to say, I wasn’t paying much attention I just kept staring at him, taking in his movements. I missed him, so much.
I went forward, and grabbed his face, kissing him, he froze as his body tensed, I couldn’t stop, it didn’t matter what I did in that moment or after, none of it mattered. It wouldn’t matter if I decided to change something because the damage was already done.
Cheng Xiaoshi was already dead, and this was how I would cope with it.
I couldn’t let go of him, and eventually, he gave in, he held onto me as he returned my kiss, this was all I had wanted, was to tell him how I felt, tell him that I loved and cared for him but I was out of time, but at least I could tell him now, even if it was the past. I broke our kiss and stared at him. “I love you Chengshi.” Tears brimmed my eyes but I wouldn’t cry, instead, I buried my head into him and I hugged him tightly.
He felt warm, I missed how warm he felt, how his voice sounded, I missed everything about him. I couldn’t let him go, I stared at him, his face was red and his mouth open, like he was frozen too. I held onto his face. “I won’t let you die next time, Cheng.” He looked confused and before he could respond to me…
Clap
I was back on the sofa, and the light that peered from the window was replaced by the glow of the moon as I covered my face, I couldn’t live without him. Nothing was the same anymore and it was always so quiet without him here… It hadn’t even been a full day since he’d been dead and I was already losing my mind without him. I stood up and walked to the room we used to share before sitting on the chair at our desk and staring at a photo of the two of us together, it was one that Cheng and I had taken when we first became friends. I still had my bloodied clothes on. I couldn’t find it in me to take them off.
I observed the photo, I had to get him back, I can’t just let him die. “I’m sorry, Cheng Xiaoshi, I’m always telling you not to change the past, but I couldn’t follow my own words. Even if I know death is an unchangeable point, I still want to use that last chance to return to the beginning and save you. Even if that means destroying time, you’re worth it in the end.”
I need him, I need him to come back to me.
Clap
I opened my eyes.
“Hey, wanna play with us? We could use another person.” Cheng Xiaoshi threw the ball to me and I caught it.
This time, you won’t die on me.
I’ll make sure of it.
“Sure.”