Chapter Text
Waiting at the station was too painful, too many memories he had no desire to relive, so he arrived just in time for his train. He didn’t have much, just his duffle bag slung over his shoulder and the ticket in his hand. He waited the few minutes it would take for his train to be announced impatiently, tapping his foot and willing time to go by faster.
That’s when he saw him.
It was just a flash at first, something out of the corner of his eye. Something fleeting yet so familiar that he had to force himself to hurl himself in that direction with reckless abandon. Mayank was there, clearly looking for him. Desperation laced his features, Dev knew it all too well. He couldn’t let himself look too long though, it would crumble anything he’d built inside himself in the three years since he last saw him. It would be the end of his new life before it even began.
He turned carefully, ensuring that Mayank wouldn’t see him and walked quickly to the gate, hoping that by the time he figured out which train he was on it would have already left. He rushed to find his coach and settled into the safety of his seat, away from Mayank’s familiar eyes.
Dev barely noticed Mayank brushing right past him and quickly turned around, getting into the train by the nearest entrance. He found his seat and looked pointedly at the empty seat in front of him. He hoped that Mayank would be running in the opposite direction, that he wouldn’t find him.
The doors closed and the whistle rang out. Dev was leaving it all behind. His sins, his history, his love, his mistakes and his life. He glanced out the window one final time at the station that had felt like its own kind of home to him.
And that’s exactly when Mayank reached the window, his palms flat against the glass as the train inched away from the station. His lips formed Dev’s name but he couldn’t hear a thing. Dev’s heart beat out of his chest, his eyes fixed on Mayank as he was left behind on the platform and the train pulled ahead.
Mayank panted as he watched the train race ahead of him. He’d missed the only chance he’d had at love, only chance at a life he’d craved all his life, a love that he’d convinced himself he would never get. He stood there for what felt like forever before heading back inside the station and sitting down in the waiting area.
He held his head in his hands. Why did he lie that day? Was this meant to be? Was this their punishment? A hope at a tomorrow only to have it ripped out of their hands?
“Aren’t you a bit overdressed for the station?” Mayank’s head snapped up in surprise. There he was, in front of him. He thought he was dreaming for a moment and said nothing. “Sorry, it’s been a while.”
He stood up to look Dev in the eye, still unbelieving of what he was seeing. “I don’t live here anymore,” he managed to say.
“And I’m not here despite living here.” They just looked at each other, letting three years of distance wash away.
Just then someone bumped into Dev. “Watch where you’re going!” He hissed at the man who passed by without a word.
“Nothing has changed, has it? You still get mad at everything.”
“My anger is my own, it won’t leave me. The same can’t be said about love.”
Mayank stepped closer to Dev, reaching a hand up to place it on his cheek. “What would you say if that love was to come back to you?”
“What would I say, Mayank? I’d tell it to go back. That I couldn’t bear the hope knowing that it would just leave again.”
“Dev, every day of the last three years has been torture. Not a moment has passed by where I haven’t thought of you. Only I know how I made it through every single day.” Mayank’s hand wrapped around the side of Dev’s head, his fingers brushing his hair. “Every time I’d get sad I’d think about your happiness, how you’d be spending your days with your family and it’d lessen my sorrow just a bit. But I found out you were just as alone as I was.”
Dev felt his breath stop. His eyes searched Mayank’s. What did he mean? Could it possibly be what he thought it meant?
“Yes Dev, I’ve been all alone like you for the last three years. Why did this happen to us? Why did we meet? Why did we find love only for it to be torn away from us?”
Tears streamed down both of their faces as Dev wrapped his hands around Mayank’s, pulling them close to him as he got down on one knee. “People share their joys and sorrows,” he said, “I want to share my punishment with you. Life may not be complete with you, but at least it’d be a life.”
A wave of tears overtook Mayank, his body shaking as he let them wash over him. He wasn’t able to utter a word. “Can you answer me? My leg’s hurting. I can’t stand here all day. Answer me!”
“Shut up!” Mayank answered, surprising both of them. “Ask politely.”
“Okay okay. Hi. How are you? Thank you,” Dev joked. “i love you dammit!”
“I love you too,” Mayank said. He helped Dev up to his feet and wrapped him in a hug. He knew there was no happily ever after for them, their broken selves would fight and make each other miserable but they’d be doing it together, and that’s all they could ask for. “So what now?”
“Now? Fifteen days in jail for a start.”
“Jail?”
“I pulled the chain to come here.” Mayank laughed in disbelief as he took Dev’s bag from him. “Why’re you wearing a tuxedo to the station anyways?”
“I was at Rishi’s wedding.” The two of them laughed. It was perfect in its own way. As if both of them came from different worlds but somehow just worked together.
They say fate is cruel but true cruelty stems from love, something so fundamental yet so illusive. Life had given them all the love they could have ever wanted, unfortunately it meant hurting some along the way. They weren’t happy about it, and they expected to spend a lost time making up for much of it, but they weren’t going to let it take what they had away from them.