Chapter Text
“Alhaitham, why is it that you keep coming over here?” Kaveh asked. The two were sitting across from one another, notebooks opened and hard at work on their respective studies.
“Is anyone else sitting here?”
“No… but–”
“Hm, then I fail to see the problem. I’m a patron of the library, like you.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Kaveh grumbled. “There are hundreds of seats within the House of Daena, many of them unoccupied. And yet, in this last week alone, you’ve chosen to sit with me for five of the seven days. Why? Is there something you want? Are you trying to mess with me?”
“Please, I’m not that petty. I just wanted to get to know you. You’ve caught my interest.”
The pencil dropped out of Kaveh’s hand, breaking the tip of the graphite on his sketchbook. His eyes widened and his face turned bright red. “M-me?” He stuttered. “Interest?”
“Is there a problem?”
Kaveh hesitated and avoided eye contact. “I mean, I’m flattered… I think?” The gears were whirring in his brain as he rubbed his upper lip and chose his next set of words. “I just… I don’t think I have the time for dating right now.”
Alhaitham raised a brow. “Dating? Who said anything about dating?”
“You?”
“No? I said I was interested. You’re the only person who correlated interest with dating.”
“Oh… Right.” He twirled a strand of his hair that fell out of his clips. “Are you always this blunt?”
“Do you always jump to conclusions so quickly? You ask too many questions.”
Kaveh scoffed. “With an attitude like that, I don’t even know if I want to be friends.” He sighed. “Okay, at least answer this much — what's the catch? Why me?”
“No reason in particular,” Alhaitham lied. “I just think you’re interesting.”
Kaveh seemed unconvinced, but didn’t push the topic any further.
During the first few months, the two would meet at the library and seldom cross paths elsewhere. Kaveh would arrive first since his last class of the day finished earlier. After dinner, he'd head to the House of Daena, sit at one of his preferred spots in the main room, and work on his homework assignments until Alhaitham arrived. He’d take a seat next to or across from Kaveh.
They didn't share any classes or projects, being from different darshans. Regardless, they still managed to help each other out on their assignments. Along with getting into heated debates about their lecture topic of the day.
Before long, the two started meeting up at dinner beforehand at the Akademiya’s cafeteria. Regardless of whether they were with other classmates or a lone pair, they always ended up in debates. In the library, they were often hindered by the shushes of onlookers, or by the librarians themselves. But the cafeteria? You could be as loud as you wanted to.
“I can't tell if you guys are friends or not,” said one of Alhaitham’s classmates. “You're constantly arguing with each other.”
Alhaitham shrugged. “I hardly think it matters.”
“It doesn't matter? ” Kaveh interjected, crossing his arms and jutting his chin outward. “And here I thought we were friends.”
“It’s just a label,” Alhaitham responded without missing a beat.
“Need I remind you that it was you who wanted to be friends in the first place?”
“You're putting words in my mouth again. All I said was that I had an interest in you. That's not the same thing. You can be interested in an enemy, can't you?”
Alhaitham’s classmate groaned and put his head in his hands, but the two continued bickering.
And so, their lives continued to intertwine as they settled into this routine.
“Kaveh? Would you believe me if I told you that you are being haunted by a ghost?” Six months had passed, and Alhaitham remained without any answers. He wasn’t sure exactly what compelled him to ask, but his curiosity had gotten the best of him. Or maybe he felt a sliver of pity for the ghost, stuck in limbo.
Pausing his note-taking, Kaveh slowly looked up from his papers. He raised a brow. “A ghost? Where?” he asked.
Alhaitham twirled his pencil around to point to where the ghost was loitering that evening, even though he knew it was a pointless endeavor. “That’s his usual spot whenever you’re in the library, but sometimes he follows you out of here when you leave.”
Kaveh took a glance at the spot in question. He squinted and then frowned. “There’s nothing there, you idiot.”
Alhaitham leaned back in his seat and crossed his legs. “In my experience, I’ve learned that most people can’t see them. I don’t know of anyone other than myself that can.”
“...Is this supposed to be a joke?”
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
“To be honest? Sometimes it's impossible to tell.”
“No, I’m being serious right now.”
Kaveh took a moment before replying. He continued giving Alhaitham a skeptical look, but soon broke down and sighed. “Okay fine. Let’s say I believe you. What kind of ghost is it?”
“Mm, I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me.”
“How am I supposed to know if I can’t see it?”
“His hair is the same color as yours. The length is similar as well — down to the shoulders with a bit of a curl at the end, but his is pinned back on the right side only. His eye color is likely a cool-toned brown, but it’s difficult to tell. The facial structure is different but reminiscent enough, so I assumed it must be a relative of sorts. I'm not the best at discerning age, but I would say he looks about late thirties or early forties, which would be his age at death.”
“T-that’s…” Kaveh stuttered as his eyes widened. “How… how do you know that?” His voice quivered.
”I’m just describing what I see. It sounds like you know him.”
Kaveh broke eye contact and nervously covered his mouth with his hand. He furrowed his brow and looked lost in thought. Alhaitham remained silent and unmoving. It wasn’t his place to interrupt.
“I think…” Kaveh finally said, “I think you’re seeing the ghost of my father.”
Alhaitham nodded. “Makes sense. That was my initial deduction, but I didn’t have any way of confirming.”
“Did I do something wrong? I must have. Why else would he be following me?”
“No idea. I was trying to figure that out myself.”
“How long have you known?”
“Since I first met you.”
Kaveh hesitated. “And is this why you were interested in me? Because I was being haunted by the ghost of my father?”
“And if I say yes?”
A deep and scornful chuckle echoed between them as Kaveh wiped away a budding tear with his sleeve. “I knew there was a catch. Why else would a person like you show any interest in me?”
“That's the part that bothers you the most?”
“Hah! No. Don't be so conceited,” he grumbled. “I'm bothered by all of it!” he called out in frustration as he gritted his teeth. “How am I supposed to feel anything other than conflicted? My dead father is haunting me? Do you even know how long he's been dead for?” Kaveh began raising his voice. “He died over a decade ago!”
The two were interrupted by a loud shush from the table next to them. “If you want to keep at it, take it outside,” she sneered. “Some of us are trying to study.”
Alhaitham apologized as Kaveh gathered up the study materials in front of him. “I… I should get going,” Kaveh said.
“Should I... come with you?”
Kaveh paused before making a small nod. The two entered an awkward silence as they packed their bags.
They left the House of Daena shortly after and began walking. The two had not said a word since their departure, failing to discuss where they were meant to go. Alhaitham followed Kaveh all the way to the front doors of the main Akademiya building.
Kaveh’s eyes glazed over as he looked outwards at the horizon to Sumeru’s jungle silhouette. The sun was beginning to set. “Hey, Alhaitham?” His voice was soft and vulnerable.
“Yeah?”
“…If you really can see the ghost of my father, can you ask him a question?”
“Unfortunately, I can't communicate with any of them.”
“Hm, that's a shame.”
“What did you want me to ask him?”
“I wanted to ask him if I’m the reason he’s dead.”
Over the next week, Kaveh recounted the entire story to Alhaitham. The Interdarshan Tournament, the diadem prize, the desert quicksand. All of it.
“He changed after that tournament,” Kaveh recounted one night at the library. “I still don't get why, but I swear that’s how it all started. I know it's what led him to the desert, but if I didn't pressure him to join the tournament… maybe he would still be here.”
“You didn't pressure him. You were a little kid who expressed interest in an artifact. He was the one who ultimately decided to compete.”
“But he did it for my sake.”
“That's entirely different than you pressuring him. Do you have any proof that the tournament is what led him to the quicksand?”
“I don't know. Maybe? That's exactly why it bothers me so much.” Kaveh bit his lip. “I just… I haven't been able to let go of what could have been. Like, what if I never saw that poster? How different would my life be? Would my father still be alive? Would my mother be happier?”
“Kaveh, you have no way of knowing what would have happened. You can’t change what you did.”
“I know. That's why I keep thinking about it. A bit counterintuitive, isn't it?”
“Worse. It’s self-destructive.”
Kaveh huffed. “I don’t need someone like you to tell me that.”
A little past midnight, after Kaveh left to return to his dorm, Alhaitham got up and walked to the blurry form of Kaveh’s father. He looked him in the eye, though as expected, the ghost could not return the eye contact. “Kaveh blames himself for your death,” Alhaitham whispered out loud to the ghost, not expecting a reply or acknowledgment. “But there’s more to the story, isn’t there? I don’t know what happened, but one day, I’ll find out. I’ll help him move on from your death, so you can move on too.”
After months of trying to research Kaveh's father in secret, Alhaitham found a major lead. He notified his professors of his absence and packed his bag. “I’m going to be out of town for a few days for a project,” he told Kaveh.
He ended up in Aaru Village, talking to some lifelong residents who had seen decades pass in the desert.
“Later on, I heard that he died in the quicksand,” the old lady said. “It is said that he encountered a caravan trapped in quicksand on his way to investigate something. He saved many people, but he himself was unable to get out in time…”
“I see…”
The frail woman rubbed her chin, beginning to wonder. “Many years have passed in the blink of an eye. I wonder how his child turned out, and if they hold a grudge against him?”
“He really did that?” Kaveh whimpered, voice shaking after Alhaitham finished recounting what he had learned.
The two sat on the rug of Kaveh’s dorm room. Kaveh was leaning against the frame of his bed, knees pulled up to his chest. Alhaitham sat with legs crossed and his travel backpack set at his side. He had made a pit stop at Kaveh’s room the instant he returned to the Akademiya.
“I don’t know what he was looking for in the desert, but it was of his own volition to save that caravan, Kaveh. Do you finally believe me? It isn’t your fault that your father fell into the quicksand. It never was.”
“...How did you find out about this?”
“I found an old article about an Akademiya scholar who supplied medicine to children in Aaru Village. No name was given, but there was a small portrait provided of a man who resembled your father. When I went there and asked around, it led me to learn that the scholar in question had died in a quicksand accident. Certainly, there was no coincidence there,” Alhaitham pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. He smoothed it out and handed it over to Kaveh. “Keep it. Figured you'd want the portrait.”
“Father…” Kaveh stared at the article held between his fingers before placing it carefully down on the bed behind him. “What about the project you were working on out in the desert?”
“There was no project. This was it.”
“What?” he exclaimed. “Then why did you go alone? You could have brought me with you.”
Alhaitham raised a brow. “Isn’t your senior project deadline soon? I didn’t want to bother you. For all I knew, it could have been a dead end. I figured the odds of me finding someone who knew of the incident were low. However, I found a woman who remembered your father’s visits. If you’d like, we can go there and visit her together once you graduate.”
“Yes, that would be nice…” Kaveh hung his head even lower, squeezing his knees closer to his face. “I didn’t know you spent so much time looking into the truth of my father’s death. You didn’t have to go and do all that for me.”
“I know,” Alhaitham replied, “but I did.”
“Why?” He looked away and blinked as tears began to pool in his eyes. “Because of his ghost?”
“Of course not,” Alhaitham whispered. “Because I care about you. Because I couldn’t stand to see you blame yourself for something you didn’t do.”
Alhaitham waited for a reply while Kaveh remained trapped in his own thoughts. After moments of silence, Alhaitham decided it would be best to give Kaveh some time alone. “I should head back to my room and get ready for class tomorrow,” he said, standing up and throwing his backpack back over his shoulder. “If there’s anything you need, you know where to find me.”
As Alhaitham’s hand touched the doorknob, a warm heat wrapped around him and stopped him in his tracks. He felt Kaveh’s breath flutter as he rested his cheek on the back of Alhaitham’s neck. Arms traveled up Alhaitham’s chest as Kaveh pulled him closer, sinking deep into the embrace.
“Thank you, Alhaitham.”
Graduation day. The culmination of years and years of hard work. The day that all Akademiya students work towards.
“Congratulations, Senior Kaveh.” Alhaitham smiled as he found Kaveh after the stage ceremony. Kaveh wore the classic Akademiya graduation gown and cap, with perfect gold accents that contrasted the bouquet of purple padisarahs Alhaitham had gifted to him earlier.
Kaveh blushed. “No need to be so formal about it.”
“I thought this was supposed to be your big day.”
“Hm, I guess you’re right. After all those all-nighters, I guess I deserve this.” Kaveh smirked.
“That’s the spirit.”
Kaveh’s expression shifted. “Haitham, is my father here?”
Alhaitham nodded. “He watched the entire ceremony.”
“Can you bring me to him?”
“Of course.” As Alhaitham turned around, Kaveh reached out and grabbed his hand. Without a word or protest, Alhaitham intertwined their fingers together.
Their relationship was new, confusing, and mostly unlabeled. But this? This was something Alhaitham could get used to.
Alhaitham guided Kaveh over to the corner of the room where his father was waiting. When they came to a stop, Kaveh began looking around blindly, not knowing where to place his eyes. Alhaitham placed one hand on Kaveh’s shoulder and the other on his cheek to guide his head towards his father.
Alhaitham watched Kaveh’s father’s eyes widen as the two made eye contact for the first time. Of course, Alhaitham knew that all Kaveh could see was the wall in front of him, but if ghosts could talk, this one would have been rendered speechless.
“Hi, Father, it’s me. Kaveh. I did it. I finally graduated from the Akademiya.” His fingers gripped the scroll in his hands tighter, hunching his stance. “I spent so much of my life thinking that things could have gone differently, if only I didn’t ask you to compete in the Interdarshan Tournament. Maybe that’s still true. Maybe it’s not.” He paused as he took a deep breath, letting the tension dissipate as his lungs emptied. “We learned of your deeds at Aaru Village, and I just want you to know that I’m proud of you and all the things you managed to accomplish in your lifetime. I can only hope that you’re proud of me too. I’m… going to be okay.” He took a quick look at Alhaitham before reverting his gaze for the final part. “And I’m not alone anymore, so please, Father, rest in peace.”
Kaveh’s father began sobbing and smiling at the same time. The man clutched both hands over his heart as a soft light flourished from within and began to spread, enveloping the life form in its entirety. The light grew brighter and brighter —
Until it dissipated.
“Haitham? Are you okay?” Kaveh asked, wondering why he had gone silent.
Alhaitham realized that he had been standing there with his jaw hanging open in shock. He shook his focus back into the present. “He’s… gone. It looked as if he just… faded out of existence.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“I’m not quite… sure. I’ve never seen it happen before.”
“If it means he finally moved on to the afterlife, then I consider that a good thing.”
“I would have to assume so.”
“Do you think he understood what I was saying?”
“I was under the impression that ghosts couldn't hear sounds from the living world, but I could be wrong. There's much I still don't understand. Or, maybe your expression alone was enough to convey your feelings.”
“...Did he look happy?”
“Very.”
Kaveh closed his eyes and smiled, placing a hand on his chest. “Good. That’s all I needed to know.”
Maybe it was seeing his little boy graduate, adorned with awards and honors. Maybe it was hearing the words of reassurance after the ceremony. Maybe it was knowing that Kaveh now had Alhaitham watching over him.
But after that day, Alhaitham never saw Kaveh’s father again.