Chapter Text
Jungkook blinks. Then he blinks again. Rubs his eyes. It doesn’t disappear, no matter how many times he checks.
That’s…that’s Jinnie-hyung. It really is. For real, for real in front of him, it’s his hyung, and Jungkook—
He snatches the phone with shaky hands and presses it real close to his chest. It doesn’t feel exactly like a real life Jinnie hug, but even if it’s not as good, it makes Jungkook feel a little bit better. Just a tiny little bit, though. He squeezes tighter.
“Jungkook-ah? The screen went dark, baby, are you there?”
“He’s hugging the phone,” Yoongi says, sounding fond. “We’re still here.”
“Oh…oh, baby.”
Jungkook squeezes it tighter. “Jinnie-hyung? H-hyung, miss you, m-my…my mine,” he says. He feels a little like maybe he might cry again, or that he still is. But it doesn’t happen, not really. His tummy gets all tight and he’s a little bit wibbly-wobbly, but there’s not even any more tears at all coming out of his eyes. Did he run out? Maybe he can ask Taetae-hyung to go to the store tomorrow to get him some more.
“Oh sweetheart, Hyung is so happy to hear your voice. I’ve missed you, you know that? I’ve been wanting a Jungkookie hug all day long.”
“All day long,” Jungkook repeats, “A’day wan’ Jinnie-hyung but—but not here.” Far away. So, so far that he can’t even see him anymore at all. When Jungkook runs too far away too fast and his hyungs can’t see him, he gets in trouble ‘cause it’s not safe to be alone. So maybe Jinnie should just come back now, so they can see him and he’s safe and sound.
“Poor baby,” Seokjin fusses, “you must have been so scared, huh? It’s okay, I’m here. Shhhhhh, I know.”
Jungkook sniffles. His nose is red and raw, and it stings as he wipes it roughly with the shoulder of his shirt. He was so scared. How did Jinnie-hyung know?
“I love your hugs sweetheart,” Jinnie says gently, “but I want to see your pretty face, too. Can you pull the phone back so Hyung can look at you?”
Jungkook freezes. “No.”
“No?”
“N-no. Not ‘posed to see or else it’s, or else you find out ‘cause of seeing me.” He can’t see’ cause it’s not allowed. It’s the rules Big Jungkook made, and he has to follow them or else.
“But…what am I not supposed to see?”
“Me! ‘Cause, ‘cause ‘m just little!”
“Oh, baby boy,” Seokjin says sadly. “Hyung already knew. From the second I heard your sweet voice, I knew you were feeling small. It’s okay, hm? There’s nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. You don’t have to hide from me. You don’t have to hide from any of us.”
Jungkook feels like maybe he’s so small, smaller than he meant to be. Even smaller than before. “Didn’ mean to, ‘m sorry, sorry, ‘posed to be—to be big!”
“Now why would you think that, silly?” Seokjin asks. “You know you can always be little with your hyungs.”
“Can’t ‘cause, ‘cause it was gonna make you sa-ad,” Jungkook tell him. “Gonna be, gonna say sad if ‘m little like ‘cause I miss you so too much, and don’ wan’ you to go ever! Wan’ to come, come home but ‘s gonna make Hyung so sad so I can’t be even little even a little—bit—”
“Breathe, sweetheart,” Yoongi urges from behind him. “Let’s take a few deep breaths together, okay? In…out…in…out…one more time. In…out. That’s it, good.” Jungkook always feels better when Yoonie-hyung helps him do his breathing. He pushes back against his hyung’s chest, just to remind himself. As long as he’s still there, Jungkook won’t be left alone.
As the breathing relaxes him, the phone slips onto the bed. Jungkook gasps, worried—but as Yoongi picks it up and holds it for them, he can see Jinnie didn’t even get a bump or an ouch. Jungkook pats the screen though, just in case. “Jinnie ouch?”
“No, my love, I’m just fine. I’m more worried about you, hm?” Jungkook sniffles again. His nose makes him do that lots and lots, especially today mostly. “Can you look at me?” He does. “There’s my sweet boy, much better.”
Jungkook likes being his sweet boy. It makes him feel like mushy gooey fluff on the inside.
“Let me see if I understand, okay? It sounds like you tried to stay big because you knew that if you slipped, you’d tell me to stay and you thought that would make me sad?”
Jungkook fidgets. He’d spent so long hiding it that now it felt kind of silly to just say so, but it is what’s wrong, so he nods. “No Jinnie sad.”
“Oh, baby.” Seokjin sighs, voice tender. “You know that we don’t like it when you keep big feelings inside, but do you know why that is?”
“Nuh uh.”
“When you don’t talk about big feelings, they just get bigger, and bigger, and they start to hurt you from the inside. Hyungs want to hear about your feelings so that we can help them get smaller, instead.”
“Oh,” Jungkook says. He feels small, small, small, and like his feelings are bigger than he is now. Maybe ‘cause he left them there for so long. “Oh. Sorry.”
Yoonie-hyung talks, and it gets all vibrate-y on Jungkook’s back. He likes how it feels. “You know now, little prince. No need for sorrys.”
Jungkook has a lot of sorrys saved up. He did very naughty things this week when he was feeling bad bad bad, like yelling and slamming doors and being mean and not telling hyungs the truth and lots more he can’t even think of. So he doesn’t think it’s okay if he gets rid of his sorrys the whole way, but he thinks maybe it’ll be okay if he just gives them out later, when Jinnie is back and he feels okay again. Jinnie will get the biggest sorry of all, he thinks.
But not now. Later. Now, he’s getting cuddles, and that’s most important.
***
When Jungkook speaks again, it’s been long enough that Yoongi thought he might have fallen asleep—but he’d only been still, basking in the quiet presence of his hyungs. “Jinnie-hyung?” Jungkook presses his face into Yoongi’s shoulder, probably sniffing at the scent of laundry detergent there, searching for familiarity.
Seokjin looks up from the script he’d been studying. “Yeah, baby?”
“My heart inside here, is—it’s so sad.”
The words are so despondent that he can’t help but tighten his grip on the boy, as if there’s any way he could protect his little love from the things that go bump in his heart. Not for the first time, he’s grateful to have Seokjin here. He always knows the right words to cheer someone up.
Like these ones: “Ah, Jungkook-ah. Did you know that my heart is hurting too?”
“Really?”
“Really,” Seokjin says.
“Mmm. But—but Hyung’s a, a grown-up.”
“Grown-ups have all sorts of feelings too. I miss home, I miss my baby, I miss my bed. I miss giving you hugs and kisses and tickles, and hearing you laugh. I’m feeling sad too, just like you are.”
“Oh,” Jungkook says. “Jinnie-hyung is like me.”
Seokjin smiles. “Yeah, sweetheart. Just like you.”
“But, but Jungkookie’s bigger, big an’ tall an’ strong.”
“Yah! Who said you’re bigger than me! That’s just not the truth!” Jungkook is already giggling. He loves Seokjin’s dramatic rants. “I’m the tallest of all of you! I’m ten feet tall! Twenty! No way is my baby bigger than me, you’re the teeny tiniest of all!”
“Noooooo, ‘m big!” Jungkook sticks his tongue out.
Seokjin does the same right back. “Noooooooooooo, you’re a baby! Hyung’s little baby.”
“Babies c’n be—can be big. ‘Cuz ‘m big an’ tall an’ strong and ‘m Hyung’s baby. Right? Is right?” The words are suddenly earnest and hopeful, doe eyes staring into the camera, begging reassurance.
He gets it. “Ahh, my smart little boy. That’s right, you’ll always be my baby, even if you grow a hundred feet tall.”
“Wouldn’ fit in the ‘partment,” Jungkook says, scrunching up his nose.
“Then we’d find a new one. Just for you, so I never have to go without my baby ever again.”
The words please the little, but his smile fades, too. “Um, I think. I think, maybe is, is Hyung gonna be so cold?”
“Cold? What do you mean?”
“Jungkookie’s warm, ‘member? An’ it’s cold at nighttime, so…so maybe you’re gonna get so cold without me to be holding you for you.” He sniffs, just once. “‘Cause you’re too far away, an’ maybe you’ll be cold or sad or cold.”
Seokjin smiles softly. “Ah, but I have a secret.”
“A secret?”
“A very important top-secret secret.”
“I keep secrets! I keep secrets good!” Jungkook looks around, sees no one except Yoongi, and then places a wobbly finger over the caregiver’s mouth. “Yoonie-hyung don’ say anyone too.”
Yoongi kisses the fingertip pressed to his lips and then maneuvers Jungkook’s hand to cross over his heart in an X. “Cross my heart, I’ll never tell.”
Jungkook nods solemnly, then turns back to Seokjin. “Ready.”
“Okay, here we go…I had a stowaway,” Seokjin whispers loudly. “Someone hopped in my carry-on bag and came along with me.”
“Minnie-hyung!” Jungkook gasps. “He fits, he can!”
Both caregivers can’t help but laugh. “No, no. It’s not Jiminie. It’s someone different. Do you want to see?”
“Yes,” he breathes. “Want to see.”
Seokjin rummages around in his bag for just a moment, and then—
“Cooky? No!” Jungkook demands, in an affronted gasp.
“Yes!” Seokjin sets the pink stuffed bunny in his lap, and readjusts the camera so it can be seen. It’s a little disfigured and smushed by being shoved into a small carry-on, but the longer it’s free the more it fluffs up. “I didn’t even notice him until we were already on the flight! The little trickster.”
Jungkook seems totally shocked. “Cooky why!”
“I asked him, and you know what he said?”
“No! Tell me!”
“He said he was worried about the very same thing,” Seokjin says. “He sleeps with you every night at home, and he loves it soo much. But he was worried that I’d get lonely without you here to sleep next to me, so he decided to come along and keep me company.”
Jungkook nods slowly. “So…Seokjinnie-hyung won’t gonna be cold an’ sad without me?”
“I’ll still miss you lots, but with Cooky here I’ll never be alone. So you don’t have to worry about me, okay?”
“Okay,” Jungkook says. “Good Cooky.”
“Oh…and there’s one more thing he told me about, but I think you’ll need to see it to believe it. Yoongi-yah, can you do Hyung a favor? The red bag inside my closet, bring it over.”
Yoongi raises his eyebrows, but obediently shifts Jungkook off his lap and makes his way to the closet. It takes a second to find the bag he’s talking about—it’s covered in a pile of blankets. Whatever surprise Seokjin has up his sleeve, it was planned ahead of time, if he knew to hide it from prying little eyes.
When he brings it back and sets it on the bed, Jungkook nearly vibrates with the effort it takes to hold himself back. “Open? Open it, Hyung? Now, please? I can? Now? Thank you please?”
“Go ahead,” Seokjin laughs. “Let’s see what Cooky was talking about.”
Jungkook pounces, tugging with clumsy fingers. It’s a gift bag, and the opening has been very well taped shut—well enough that Jungkook turns to Yoongi with a frenzied look on his face, demanding, “ Help!” Yoongi does, and soon enough, Jungkook pulls out his prize.
He gasps when he sees it—a stuffed toy with a small white body and bean-shaped head, small and soft and squishy. “It’s a…a something!”
“A friend,” Seokjin corrects, laughing softly. “An alien. His name is Wootteo.”
“Hi Wootteo,” Yoongi says softly, waving.
“Hi Wootteo,” Jungkook repeats. “He lives in bag?”
“He lives in outer space! Cooky is his friend, so when he decided to come along on my trip, he asked Wootteo to come and pay you a visit.”
“How, how come?”
“You see, Wootteo is special because he’s got such a big heart. It’s got so much extra room that he can’t use it all up himself, so he and Cooky came up with a plan. Before I left, Wootteo gave me a biiiig hug, the biggest hug in the whole entire universe, and he told me to think about how much I love my Jungkookie. And when I did, he took all of that love, and he saved it in his heart. So you know what you have to do whenever you miss me or feel sad? You just ask Wootteo for a hug, and he’ll give you back some of my love.”
Yoongi nudges Jungkook towards the bag. “Do you want to try?”
Jungkook stares for a moment longer, then wraps Wootteo up in a stranglehold hug. It’s nearly a minute of reverent silence before he lets go, and when he does it’s with tears pooling in his eyes, and one rolling down his cheek. “Jinnie-hyung? It, it works real good.”
“I’m glad,” Seokjin says softly. “Use as many hugs as you need, because I put enough love in there to last a million years.”
Jungkook yawns, turning quickly to hide it from Seokjin, but Yoongi tattles on him. “I think our little boy is getting sleepy.”
“Oh, is that right? I think it’s time we get him tucked in, then.”
“Not sleepy,” Jungkook grumbles, but he obediently lies down and lets Yoongi pull the blankets snugly around his shoulders. As soon as he’s covered up, his eyes begin to droop, the day finally catching up to him.
“Are you comfy cozy?” Seokjin asks.
Jungkook’s nose rubs into the pillow, nuzzling it. “Smells like Hyung.”
“I’m going to take that as a good thing.”
“Close your eyes,” Yoongi says.
“Story?” Jungkook mumbles sleepily. “Pretty please make a story please?”
“Once there was a little bunny who lived in a castle,” Seokjin begins. “He lived there with six grown-up bunnies who loved him more than anything else in the whole world. The little bunny was very cute, and he loved to eat carrots and grass and hop around—”
“Bunny doesn’ like grass to eat,” comes the interruption. “That’s yucky.”
“Okay, then the bunny loved pork belly and noodles and fried chicken and kombucha.”
“Mm,” Jungkook squirms happily. “I like those things.”
Yoongi grins, hand stroking down the little’s back soothingly. Seokjin continues on with his story. “The baby bunny loved to play with the grown-up bunnies and give them hugs and kisses and chase them around—”
“Uh huh ‘cause, ‘cause he’s fast, fast at r-running.”
“The bunny was the very fastest of all the bunnies, of course. You’re right. He was very strong and smart too. But one day, he woke up and he realized—he couldn’t find one of his bunny friends!”
“His hyung,” Jungkook corrects.
“Oh of course, I forgot that these bunnies were Korean—it was his bunny-hyung, you’re right. He’d lost his bunny-hyung, and no one seemed to know where to find him! So the baby bunny said, ‘I am very smart! I’m going to use my big brain to find my bunny-hyung!’ And he made a list of all the places in the castle that his hyung liked to take naps in. But when he checked all those places, his hyung wasn’t there.”
“Oh no,” Jungkook whispers.
“So he said, ‘I am very strong! I’m going to lift up all the furniture and make sure he didn’t wiggle under a couch to hide from a loud noise!’”
“Nono, no. Bunny-hyung hides under couch ‘cause, ‘cause he’s scared that there’s a ghost. An’ he screams real loud.” Jungkook blinks innocently. “Even though a ghost’s not there.”
Yoongi snorts, remembering the exact scenario from last week that Jungkook is referring to. “I wonder where that idea came from.”
“The theater of the mind, Yoongi-yah, keep up,” Seokjin shoots him a withering, but amused look. “ If the bunny-hyung had hidden, it would have been because he thought he saw a ghost, which, by the way, is a very realistic and valid reason to hide. But he didn’t, because when the baby bunny used his big muscles to check under all the furniture, there was no one there. So he said, ‘I am very fast! I’m going to run around the outside of the castle reeeeally fast and look all around me, so I can see if he’s playing outside.’”
“Is outside?”
“No. When the little baby bunny ran around the castle, he didn’t see anyone at all. When he was all done, he was very tired and very thirsty. And he still didn’t know where his bunny-hyung had gone! So he sat down on the ground, and he began to cry. He cried alone for a long time.”
Jungkook jerks slightly, startling himself awake where he’d started to drift off to sleep.
“But then, the rest of his bunny-hyungs, the ones who weren’t missing—they found him crying in front of the castle, and they said, ‘Oh, baby bunny! Why are you crying?’ The baby bunny said, ‘I am very smart, and very strong, and very fast, but I still couldn’t find my bunny-hyung. Now I am very scared.’
“His hyungs gave him a big hug and said, “You don’t need to cry. We will help you look.” The baby bunny felt better knowing that there were lots of people helping him. They looked all day long, and finally, just when they were about to give up—they found him!”
“Hyung!”
“Yes,” Seokjin says, with a smile. “The missing bunny-hyung walked right up to the castle doors, and the baby bunny said ‘Where were you? I searched all day long and couldn’t find you. I was very scared.’ And the bunny-hyung said, ‘I went to the meadow to pick you some nice fresh strawberries—’”
“Cake,” Jungkook mumbles.
“‘I went to the bunny store to buy you a very pretty cake. I’m sorry for going alone. Would you like to eat some cake as a reward for being so brave?’ And so they went inside and they ate an entire cake with the other bunny-hyungs, and the baby bunny learned that he was very smart, very strong, very fast, and very brave, and that he could always ask his bunny hyungs for help. The end.”
There’s a long moment of silence, but then: “Bring cake home?”
Seokjin laughs fondly. “Yeah, bunny baby. Hyung will bring you a cake.”
There’s no response. Jungkook is already asleep, and snoring softly.
***
“I think he needed that,” Yoongi says, watching the boy’s chest rise and fall.
“I think I needed it more,” Seokjin says. Now that Jungkook is asleep, a little bit of Seokjin’s mask drops—and to Yoongi, it becomes immediately apparent how stressed he is. “I haven’t stopped worrying about him since the second I left. How bad was it? I need you to be honest.”
“It wasn’t great,” Yoongi admits.
A deep exhale. “Tell me.”
“He watched the window all day to see if you were coming back.”
Seokjin looks like he’s taken a knife to the chest. “Okay. That’s. Okay.”
Yoongi knows where this is going. “He’ll be fine tomorrow.”
“But what if he isn’t?”
“He will be. He’ll sleep like the dead tonight, and tomorrow will be a reset.”
“I don’t know. Maybe…maybe I shouldn’t have gone. Maybe he needs me.” Seokjin’s eyes fall to his lap, unwilling or unable to make eye contact with the phone camera.
Yoongi realizes, “This isn’t just about Jungkook, is it?”
“No. I…don’t know. I mean, it’s part of it.” He sighs. The distant sound of an intercom drones from his end of the call, announcing flights. “I hate seeing him hurt, and I hate that we left on such a bad note, and I miss all of you. But beyond that, I’m just—nervous. This is a really big move for my career, and I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I could mess it up. I’ve come up with a very long and upsetting list. They’re all so terrible I can’t even decide on a worst case scenario.”
“Hyung, it’s okay to be nervous,” Yoongi tells him gently. Seokjin’s attempts at deflecting with humor don’t work after so many years together, not on him. “I think anyone would be. And I think it’s a lot harder to face something so big when you’re away from home, too.”
“I miss everyone already,” Seokjin admits. “I wish I really could have fit one of you in my suitcase.”
“Well, Jimin would fit. The issue is how to fit Tae in there too, because you know Jimin’s not going without him.”
“You know, there is someone else small enough to fit—”
“No.”
“Ah, Yoongi-yah. You’re no fun.”
“It’s why you keep me around.”
Jungkook stirs slightly, smacking his lips and whining before falling still once more, snores catching in his throat. Yoongi would be surprised if the boy actually wakes up anytime soon, but he’ll probably roll around for a while until he manages to settle onto his stomach. He always finds his way to the position even in sleep.
The interruption leaves the two quiet for a moment, then Yoongi speaks. “You have a lot on your plate, but that’s exactly why I don’t want you to worry about what’s happening here. We have it under control, okay? JayKay will be fine.”
"Agh. Okay. No, wait, I have things to say first—permission to get it all out at once?”
“Granted.”
“I washed his favorite blanket yesterday, but it was still hanging to dry when I left. It should be dry by now, and he always uses it during naptime, so—I know you skipped naptime today, but if he’s little tomorrow you’ll need to get it for him. He’ll try to go get it himself, but if you let him, he’ll probably try to make bubbles on the floor again, so that’s on you to clean up. And if there’s any other laundry to do for him, make sure the right detergent gets used. The one with the teddy bear on the packaging? Oh, and I realized last time he slipped that if he’s not eating his dinner well, you can take a bite out of it and he’ll get really possessive and try to eat it all so you can’t take it from him. He gets that little frown, you know the one? It’s cute. And also, is he small enough for a paci? If he isn’t now, he might be tomorrow, so remember that if he drops or loses all of the ones in the usual bin I have four backup pacis on the top shelf in my closet. Make sure you wash them before use, though. And also—”
“—I’m cutting you off,” Yoongi says. “This is excessive.”
“Ah, sorry, sorry. Just—I wish I could be there.”
“One month, and you will be.”
Seokjin sighs. “I should let you go. I need to get to my gate, they’ll be boarding soon, and missing my flight is item number one on my list of potential fuck-ups. I guess if I tell you to go to sleep, it won’t accomplish anything?”
“I’ll sleep if you tell me a bedtime story,” Yoongi deadpans. “A bunny one, please.”
That actually makes Seokjin laugh out loud, and Yoongi has to tamp down his own grin in favor of maintaining the bit. “Alright, Yoongi-yah, you want a story? Here we go: Once upon a time there was a bunny detective, and he was assigned to this case where a young woman—bunny, young woman bunny—was murdered by an incredibly handsome, suave, charismatic socialite bunny from South Korea—”
Yoongi can’t hold back a laugh this time. “Hold on, hold on, don’t tell me any more! Aren’t you under an NDA?”
“None of these people speak Korean. And besides, how can I prepare for playing a murderer without knowing what it feels like to break the law? It’s called method acting, darling. You wouldn’t get it.”
“Have fun getting sued,” Yoongi says.
“Have fun paying my legal fees,” Seokjin returns. “I always knew it would be worth it to have a rich producer boyfriend.”
The airport loudspeaker announces something Yoongi can’t understand, but Seokjin seems to get it. “Alright, time for me to board. Give the baby a kiss goodnight from me, okay?” Yoongi does. “And the others, later. When you go to sleep.”
“I will.”
“And don’t stay up too late.”
Yoongi hums.
“And…”
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Yoongi interrupts gently. “Be safe and have fun.”
“I love you.”
Yoongi doesn’t say it back, but Seokjin doesn’t need him to.