Chapter Text
“What’s the matter, Little Shenhe?”
Shenhe’s vision cleared after opening her eyes. A woman with raven black hair stared down at her before kneeling to look into her eyes.
Shenhe had bags under her small eyes and strands of her hair stuck out from the long flowing pattern it should have. The little girl yawned and replied to her mother in a gloomy tone, “I wasn’t able to sleep, Mommy…”
“Aw, did you have a nightmare?” Her mother patted her daughter’s black hair while giving a soothing smile, “Is Daddy telling you those ghost stories again?”
Shenhe shook her head. “No… my neck feels weird when I sleep.”
“Your neck…” Her mother examined the location to find that each touch made her daughter wince. Though subtle, she could tell what was wrong. “Oh my.” She checked into her bedroom and glanced over at the pillow she bought Shenhe years ago, flat and frigid like a steel table. “I see the problem now. Your pillow’s deflated like a balloon, Shenhe. Don’t worry. We’ll go and get you a new one, and it'll be cuter too.”
“A new… pillow?”
Shenhe always woke up after this memory, wondering if it ever had any meaning in her life. Her cold heart and fractured emotions always told her how unimportant they were, as if they weren’t even real. She could hardly tell at this point, choosing instead to let it drift away like a cloud of dust flying to be one with the air, land, and sea. Shenhe told herself it was for the best. The past — all the ‘was’s’, ‘were’s’, and ‘been’s’ remained as she walked through her new life.
At least, she believed it so.
##
Several days have passed since the skirmish Aether and Paimon had in Chenyu Vale. After Paimon’s hand fully healed and she showed no signs of poisoning, Bubu Pharmacy staff let her go back to Aether, who decided they should stay in Liyue for a longer period. The two spent their leisure time relaxing while waiting for new commissions from the Adventerers' Guild. During their wait, they’d pay occasional visits to Wanmin for its delicious food and Shenhe eagerly served as their waitress whenever possible. Afterward, the two considered checking for commissions again after lunch and asked if Shenhe wanted to join them after her shift, to which she agreed.
As Aether went to speak with Katheryne about any new commissions, Paimon let out a loud yawn as she and Shenhe waited for him.
“That was quite a yawn, Paimon,” Shenhe said, turning to her, “Are you feeling tired?”
“Oh. Sorry, Shenhe,” Paimon said, rubbing her eyes, “Paimon’s been having trouble sleeping lately.”
“That’s not good. Has anything different happened with you lately?”
“Hmm. Well, Aether bought Paimon a new pillow.”
Shenhe tilted her head. “A new pillow?”
“Yeah, the one Paimon’s been using for years is practically in tatters,” Paimon said, stretching her limps as another yawn left her lips.
“Yet, somehow, you’re still not getting enough sleep?”
“Yeah. It’s so strange, isn’t it?” Paimon asked with a shrug, “Paimon always sleeps so soundly, so what happened?”
Shenhe adopted a ponderous stance for a few seconds before asking the little companion, “Is it okay if you showed me this pillow of yours, Paimon?”
“Sure. Just a second.”
Shenhe could not comprehend how, but the little girl somehow conjured up a white pillow from her small pockets. Assuming she used an obscured item similar to the machines her master made, the disciple examined the cushion from top to bottom and from side to side, letting out a thinking hum. The first thing she noticed was how lacking it was when it came to how soft and comfortable it felt in her hand.
“Well?” Paimon asked.
“I think I have an idea what the problem is.” Shenhe replied, “To be blunt, Aether bought you a bad pillow.”
Her star eyes widened at the declaration. “Huh?! He did?! Why?!”
“Let me see…” Shenhe rotated the cushion on the side where she noticed the issue and pointed at the outer edge. “Here it is. Do you feel this part here? That’s an indication that the pillow is not full of the feathers used in most products.”
Paimon looked skeptical at first, but when she felt the area herself, her mouth gaped open. “Oh, Paimon sees what you’re saying now. It did feel a little weird when I first slept with it, but Paimon assumed it was just the pillow being new to her.”
“That might also be the case, but regardless of whether it's new or old, a good pillow needs to keep your body comfortable at all times. It’s likely that Aether got unlucky and picked a faulty pillow, but not out of malice. Anyone can miss these details.”
“Wow! Paimon didn’t know you were into pillows, Shenhe.”
The disciple shook her head at the claim. “I’m not. I just use pillows to keep my legs relaxed during meditation. If a pillow can’t soothe your body for even twenty minutes, then it’s no good pillow at all.”
“Ah, thanks, Shenhe,” Paimon said with a smile before a thought came to her mind. “Though it’s strange that Aether would make such a mistake. He’s usually careful.”
“I think so too,” Shenhe said.
“Did you two mention my name?” Aether asked, returning from the Adventurers’ Guild front desk.
“Yes, Aether. You see, we were talking about…” Shenhe then recounted her conversation with Paimon about her sleeping troubles and how the pillow he bought is connected to her problems.
“Ah… I had a sneaking suspicion something was wrong with the pillow,” Aether said, releasing a low sigh, “But I knew Paimon would love that color, so I still bought it.”
“It’s okay, Aether,” Paimon said, “Paimon’s not mad at all. She’ll still sleep with it so it doesn’t go to waste.”
“No, no, that’s not good at all, Paimon. We need to find a better pillow now. It’s only fair.”
“If it’s no trouble, I’m more than willing to help,” Shenhe added.
“You would, Shenhe?” Aether asked, “I’d appreciate it.”
Shenhe heard the small, adorable giggles from Paimon, causing her to smile as her heart thumped proudly. Childish as it might have sounded, it wasn’t often she got to go shopping with both Aether and Paimon. She didn’t know when an opportunity like this would come around again either. Even if it was just a single day of shopping for a mundane object, it meant the world to her.
The three arrive at a furniture store that possessed an old, antique smell to it with the furniture that looked old yet had modern adjustments made to them. Dining tables had patterns of all types and colors while chairs varied in size and texture. The store was quiet like a library with the occasional chatter between customers and workers recommending their products to them. The mattresses and cushions section had a newer atmosphere with its assortment of soft mattresses and pillows to test out.
“Whoa!” Paimon shouted, awed at the spectacle before her, “Look at the size of those pillows! Paimon didn’t know they could be that big! This place is so amazing, Shenhe. How come you never introduced us to it?”
“I never had time to,” Shenhe explained, “Ganyu showed this shop to me a while back when I wore out my meditation pillow. ‘If your pillow doesn’t fit you, you just can’t sleep.’ That’s what she said.”
“Heh, sounds like Ganyu,” Aether said, eyeing the aisle full of pillows of various sizes, “Maybe I should get one for myself.”
“So Paimon just needs to get a pillow that fits her?” Paimon asked.
“Yes, but don’t go for the first one you see,” Shenhe answered, “Test it out and see if it’s perfect for you.”
The trio glanced around at the line of pillows. Each had colors that appealed to each of their wants. Aether preferred an authentic pattern that tells him a lot about the person who made it. Paimon loved the colorful pillows that matched with her star-like cape and eyes. Shenhe, however, didn’t have a preference as all looked the same in her eyes but with different colors. She remembered how Ganyu found it odd she would view art that way, which left Shenhe with an empty feeling inside. Part of her mind wonders if she’s been too rejecting of anything that could potentially spark an emotion inside her. Mundane things like pillows and chairs felt like necessities more than anything else because she focused on usability rather than appeal. The fact that Aether and Paimon don’t see it that way left her puzzled yet intrigued simultaneously.
“Paimon loves how this one feels!” Paimon showed them the white and blue pillow, “How about it?”
“Hmm…” Shenhe ran her fingers against the soft surface of the fabric. Her iridescent eyes narrowed when she got a closer look at the length and width and she shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“Is there something wrong with it, Shenhe?” Aether asked.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong, per se,” Shenhe replied, “But based on Paimon’s cheerful demeanor and the size of her head, this pillow is too small. I recommend one that’s not just soft but can also hold your neck and shoulders.”
“Uhh…” Paimon scratched her head, feeling her mind jumbled. “This is a lot harder than Paimon thought.”
“I’ll say,” Aether added, crossing his arms as his confusion set in, “I don’t think we’ve ever put this much thought into getting a pillow.”
“Sorry,” Shenhe said, softening her sharpened gaze, “My pickiness is getting in the way, isn’t it? If you love that one a lot, Paimon, I won’t stop you from getting it.”
Paimon’s eyes widened noticing the disciple’s low, colorless tone, “No, no, no, it’s not that, Shenhe. Paimon is just surprised, is all. Even Aether didn’t go into this much detail over pillows.”
“Yeah, we sleep outside most of the time,” Aether added, “For us, a log is about as comfortable as a collection of feathers.”
“Wait…” Shenhe’s tone reverted back to its straightforward stature, “Neither of you two is particular about your sleepwear?”
“Well, we do sleep outside most of the time. For us, a log is about as comfortable as a collection of feathers, so that could explain it.”
Shenhe let out an inaudible gasp as the pictured the cute but strange image of the two of them sleeping on logs. Whatever emotion she wanted to express fully, the red ropes around her body sealed away with their power, keeping her from saying anything further less it sounds odd without the feeling attached.
“Shenhe?” Aether asked.
“Sorry, I…was just taken aback for a moment,” Shenhe replied, placing her hands on her hips while staring at the two, “Now I’m more worried about the state of your bodies if those are the conditions you sleep in.”
“Nah, I was just exaggerating,” Aether explained, “We have our comfortable sleepwear. It’s no lavishing hotel bed, but it keeps us comfortable at night.”
“That won’t do.” Shenhe’s assertive, sharp tone caught the two off guard. “Now we have to get both of you the perfect pillow for all your outdoor excursions!”
“Uh, that’s not-”
“I won’t take no for an answer, Paimon. We’ve got to check all the pillows now!”
“Wait, Shenhe!” Aether shouted.
But the disciple was already checking every single pillow, gathering them together into a pile that they could only guess were the ‘good’ ones and the ‘bad’ ones. Her face remained as aloof and straightforward as ever, but her iridescent eyes lost none of their potent focus. Her sight moved from one cushion to the next, gauging the quality of their cotton from looks alone before testing each one of them. The snow-haired disciple moved so fast that she didn’t realize the stack of pillows she made as she checked each pillow, not at all thinking about the mess she made.
Eventually, the three found the pillows that fit with them; however, problems arose as a result of Shenhe’s actions.
“I’m sorry…” Shenhe whispered as they walked through the Liyue streets.
“It’s not a big deal to us, Shenhe,” Aether said, “You already apologized to the workers.”
“Yeah, but you might not be allowed in there again after making that mess of pillows they have to clean up,” Paimon pointed out.
“That is unfortunate, and I accept all the blame,” Shenhe said, “Master always warned me not to be careless with Liyue’s products, but I guess some things never change.”
“Hey, cheer up,” Paimon said, “It’s not like you did it out of malice.”
“Paimon’s right,” Aether added, “You took time out of your day to shop with us today. We’re thankful you did that much for us. Besides, we got our pillows, at least.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Shenhe said, trying to force a smile despite the soured mood, “I just hope you don’t go tearing them up.”
“Heehee, we won’t. Paimon’s not letting even a single scratch appear on this baby.” Paimon pressed her small face against her pillow, letting out a high-pitched sigh, “Ahh… it feels so great! Paimon’s going to sleep well tonight!”
“Did you buy one for yourself, Shenhe?” Aether asked.
“Of course,” Shenhe answered, “It won’t hurt to have a spare meditation pillow; especially with how often I do them.”
“How often do you meditate, Shenhe?”
“At least ten times a day. Sometimes, I’m in the mood for twenty.”
“Sheesh!” Paimon shouted, “Isn’t that a little…uh…excessive?!”
“Hardly.” Shenhe adopted a refined stance as if trying to meditate while standing still. “Meditation helps ease your mind and steady the flow of your breathing. It’d be perfect to augment your body for easier resting.”
“Huh…”
“We should try it out, Paimon,” Aether said with a grin.
“Yeah, how about no?” Paimon responded, shaking her head, “Paimon can’t imagine sitting still for more than a minute.”
“Paimon…” Shenhe began.
“Yes?”
“As much as you dislike it, I suggest you spend at least ten minutes meditating if you’re having trouble sleeping. It helps to clear away any disturbing thoughts that may be affecting you.”
“Huh?” Paimon tilted her head at the disciple. “Disturbing…thoughts?”
“You may be thinking about unpleasant things before you sleep and it could be keeping you awake at night. It may not be your cup of tea, but meditation will help you in this regard.”
“That might work for an adeptus disciple like you, Shenhe, but do you think it works for the average person?” Aether asked.
“I believe it will,” Shenhe answered confidently.
“Hm, Paimon’s not so sure about that, but she trusts you, Shenhe,” Paimon said, “Paimon will give it a try tonight.”
“Good, and don’t fall asleep while you're meditating, otherwise the magic will…” Shenhe stopped her line of speaking as her eyes widened.
“Magic?” Aether asked, raising an eyebrow, “What magic?”
“Ah, nothing.” Shenhe shook her head. “I got too ahead of myself.”
“No, Paimon’s interested now,” Paimon said, floating around Shenhe like a curious child, “Is there something magical about meditation?! Why didn’t you say so? Paimon wants to learn more about this magic.”
Shenhe found herself unable to answer immediately as Paimon being so close to her forced her to lean back. “Again, I-”
“Ooh! Will it make Paimon super-duper strong like Aether? Or will it make her look beautiful like you, Shenhe?”
“Paimon…” Aether whispered, trying to get his partner to slow down a little.
Shenhe sighed as her next words moved like daggers. “…It…won’t, Paimon.”
Paimon’s eyes widened. She processed the disciple’s reply, utterly silent enough for the wind to cover the empty air around them. “Oh…”
“…I’m sorry,” Shenhe said, her eyes growing dull the more she looked at the floating girl’s saddened expression, “Did I upset you, Paimon?”
“You didn’t, Shenhe,” Paimon said, forcing a smile, “S-Silly of Paimon to get her hopes up. She tends to get ahead of herself too, so don’t worry about it.”
The silence that followed left a sad air that set into the three. Aether looked between the two, noticing the shift and the conflicting expressions before clearing his throat.
“Hey, how about we go get something to eat?” Aether asked, “Our next commission won’t be until tomorrow, so we have plenty of time to spare.”
Shenhe agreed to this, hoping that whatever feelings stirred up inside her would go away with the taste of Wanmin’s cooking. But that expression Paimon gave when she denied her fantasy stuck in her mind. Rarely did anything bother her to this extent, let alone at all.
“Are you okay, Shenhe?” Aether asked.
“Hm?” Shenhe asked, turning to the boy.
“You haven’t talked since we started eating.”
“Ah…” Shenhe stared down at her meal, letting out an obvious sigh. “You’re right, Aether. I suppose I’m feeling tired as well.”
“Shenhe…” Paimon whispered, “You’re not feeling bad about Paimon, are you? It’s really not a big deal, Paimon promises.”
“No, it’s not that at all,” Shenhe said, “I just…need to get some things sorted out, so I’ll be going home after this?”
“Huh?”
“Are you sure you want to go home alone?” Aether asked.
“…Yes.”
“Hey, Shenhe,” Paimon asked, inching closer to her, “Are you sure you’re okay? Paimon’s not the sharpest girl, but she can tell you’re feeling down right now. You don’t have to hide it from her.”
Shenhe giggled. “I’m okay, I assure you, Paimon.”
“Ah, no fair.”
“Both of you have a peaceful sleep, Aether, Paimon.”
“You too, Shenhe!”
##
“How’s this one, Shenhe?”
The gentle voice of her mother returned to her dreams. Her presence was a luscious field of flowers, distant yet beautiful. Shenhe reached her hand out to her, only for it to land on a pillow she presented in her hand. It was black, but had white flower patterns on the edges, giving it a refined, mesmerizing appearance.
“It has your hair’s beautiful color,” her mother said, “Look at how the white flower patterns are marked. It’s like we’re glancing at them growing on the mountain peaks.”
“Pretty…” Shenhe whispered, her young eyes sparkling like the clear waters of Luhua Pool.
“Or how about this?” Her mother brought out another pillow with patterns of icy blue shaped as wind streams across a valley. “This one is Mommy’s favorite. Aren’t the patterns of the ice-cold winds blowing across the valley lovely?” She looked back at her daughter still staring at the previous one, not even paying attention to the new one. “Heehee, sorry. I got ahead of myself. Pick whichever pillow you’d like, Little Shenhe.”
“This one.” Shenhe pointed at the pillow in her hand.
Her mother widened her eyes. “Oh my… Already? Are you sure?”
“This one’s… for daddy,” Shenhe said.
“For Daddy?” Her mother paused, soon realizing that she had also promised to get her husband a gift for their upcoming anniversary, “Ah! That’s right! Yes, this will be perfect for your dad, Shenhe. But what about you?”
Shenhe looked around at the many pillows lined up. After a brief period, her eyes landed on a black pillow, just like the previous one, but this one had a unique design to it. The pattern depicted a white crane standing alone in a lake, gazing out towards the small mountains in the distance.
“That one?” Her mother asked after her daughter pointed towards the item. “Ah! How wonderful! I didn’t think you’d have an eye for a unique texture. The white crane… I’ve heard many folk stories about this particular animal.”
“I… like the crane,” Shenhe said, with a smile. “It looks cute.”
“Oh…” Her mother paused again, surprised at the simplicity of Shenhe’s reasoning before smiling again. “Of course, it is adorable, Little Shenhe.” She went on to call the store owner to request the pillow. After purchasing it, she handed the item to her daughter. “Here you go.”
“Eheh,” Shenhe giggled, pressing her cheek against the soft.
Her mother smiled and patted her daughter on the head. “This pillow will keep you happy when you sleep, so be sure to take good care of it in turn, okay, Little Shenhe? If you don't, the magic of comfort will wear off like the last one.”
“Eheh. Okay… Mommy…”
##
Shenhe opened her eyes to greet the rising, morning sun while slowly rising from her bed. She groaned, feeling her headache from the dream she had. It wasn’t painful nor exhausting — just irritating like an itch that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard she scratched. The name of her mother was a far-off memory, one that Shenhe can’t recall, nor her face. All she remembered was her smile and her gentle voice; however, the dream of them buying a pillow together was new to the disciple.
It left her confused, though her plain expression said otherwise. She never recalled having a pillow like the one in her dream when training in Jueyun Karst. Part of her thinks that her dreams conjured it up, trying to trick her into thinking there was something of value for her to look back on. However, try as she might, Shenhe needed to find out for herself.
The snow-haired adeptus disciple made her way to the outskirts of Liyue Harbor, to the location of her original home in tatters and ruins. It relieved her that the Treasure Hoarders no longer scavenged the area place for anything of value. All emotions an average person would feel coming back here, Shenhe no longer had. The red ropes prevented her from pouring out her feelings for her home. Instead, she searched through the rubble and old wood with indifference. The woman made stacks and stacks of wood, each making a clunking sound as she cleared out the empty house of any old item she wasn’t searching for. So far, the one she sought wasn’t there. She let out a sigh and exited the building to think about where to search next until she sensed a familiar presence.
“You can come out, Master. I know you’re here,” Shenhe called, turning to the nearby rocks above to see her master in her ‘Xianyun’ form standing above.
Xianyun nodded and slowly descended down to meet her student. “One was wondering what the awful noise was. One did not expect it’d be you, Shenhe. What are you doing all the way out here?”
“I could ask you the same,” Shenhe said, examining the machine her master seemed to be tinkering with. “I’m searching for an old antique: an old pillow.”
The adeptus raised an eyebrow and lifted her glasses. “An old pillow? You’ll have to forgive me, but one cannot help but inquire about the importance of this ‘pillow’.”
“It’s…” Shenhe paused to glance back at the old house, “…related to my past.”
The adeptus’s green eyes widened at the answer. “Shenhe. One is surprised. You, of all people, looking back at the past? Whatever could have caused this sudden shift?”
“Please, don’t get the wrong idea, Master. I have no intention of thinking about what was and were. It’s more that…” She paused again before looking back into her master’s eyes. “…my mind keeps remembering it despite all my efforts to leave it all behind. It’s like an anchor is weighing on me when I want to sail onward. I can’t tell if it’s an unexplained part of my story or if a part of me really doesn’t want to let go. If it is the latter, I want to be rid of it immediately, less it poses an inconvenience to my duties.”
“Interesting…” Xianyun adopted a thinking pose while turning her attention to the ruined house. She then turned her gaze to the surrounding houses before shaking her head. “Unfortunately, one is unable to provide any clues as to the whereabouts of this pillow. One can say for certain that it was not in your possession when we first met.”
“That’s fine. It’s a tall order to expect an adeptus to have knowledge on a mortal item.”
“Forgive one’s ignorance, but couldn’t you buy a new one at Liyue Harbor? One is sure there is no shortage of comfortable meditation pillows if that’s what you seek. Would that not satisfy your dilemma?”
“I wish, but no…” Shenhe sighed and gazed up at the stars across the cloudy sky. “I remember buying this specific pillow with my mother.”
“Your mother?” Xianyun asked. She sat at the nearest, comfortable spot as her intrigue spiked.
“Yes.” Shenhe stared at the one picture she always kept of her old home, once whole, as she continued, “I…remember her gentle smile and her warm hand reaching out to pet my head. I recall the soft pillow and the calm that came with it on the coldest, lonely nights. In a way, it was another symbol of a long-lost memory, keeping me from succumbing to the pain of my mother’s passing.” She put the picture into her pocket and turned to her master with a determined look in her eyes, “That’s why I wanted to find it. To…verify its significance to me.”
Xianyun silently listened to her student, finally nodding while standing up from her seat. “One understands, Shenhe. This feeling is natural for anyone, mortal or adepti. With or without those red ropes of yours, your heart never lies. One can offer her assistance in searching the area, but one does not have high hopes.”
“That’s more than enough, Master. Thank you.”
The two searched the vicinity for the old pillow. With Shenhe’s monstrous strength, lifting the old rubble of broken wood and moldy rocks was no trouble for her. She heard the faint sounds of Xianyun’s wings above. The bird, in question, searched the area from above with her keen eyes. Shenhe dug deeper and deeper into the ruins for anything resembling a pillow; however, she only found old, broken vases, more torn wood from the house’s walls, and items too rusty and dirty to even identify.
The disciple backed away from the dusty area, returning to the outside to see her master descending from the sky. “Nothing, Master?” She asked.
“Nothing, one is afraid,” Xianyun replied.
“I’m not surprised. For all we know, it’s all cotton and silk now, beyond recognition.”
“May one acquire as to why you decided to look for it, Shenhe?”
Shenhe looked over at her master. “Why?”
“Yes,” Xianyun replied, adopting a thinking pose, “One cannot help but find it strange that you turned your attention to the past at all. You explained that your mind began to think of your mother, but now one wonders what the catalyst for this is. Did something happen that caused this shift in your thinking?”
“Well…”
Shenhe recounted all the events that led up to when she, Aether, and Paimon bought their own pillows. At some point during the story, she noticed her master trying to sneak in a giggle or two when she got to the part where Shenhe stacked all the pillows together.
“Ah, now it makes sense,” Xianyun said, letting a giggle slip through her lips, “Oh, Shenhe.”
Shenhe raised an eyebrow at her master’s strange behavior. “What is it, Master? Did I say something funny?”
“Heavens no.” The adeptus cleared her throat and returned to her refined composure. “One simply finds it fascinating that, despite your mature age and refined techniques, there is still so much for you to learn. You did not make a crucial mistake, far from it. One thinks that you’ve…opened yet another chapter of your life, and that you’ve mistaken it for a ghost from your past.”
“Mis…taken…for a ghost from my pass?”
“It’s nothing you cannot handle, but it is important to keep yourself composed for whatever comes your way. The past is never pleasant for anyone…” Xianyun lowered her shoulders and spoke as if in sync with her exhale. “…especially when the remnants of those long passed.”
Shenhe paused for a moment, sensing the forgone air around her master. She closed her eyes and asked, “Then how can I best approach this? Is there special training I must complete?”
The adeptus giggled in response before turning to her student. “Always the eager one. No, there is nothing special that I can teach you.” She walked forward, placed a hand on Shenhe’s shoulders, and smiled. “Trust in your feelings and you will find the answers. Confusing as your heart and soul may be, only you can truly understand yourself, Shenhe. Time is on your side, so there’s no need to rush.”
Shenhe released whatever thoughts weighed down on her after hearing her master’s words. She couldn’t figure out how, but the way Xianyun explained all she could brought ease to her mind, like a single torch lighting in the center of a thick fog. The disciple nodded to her teacher’s words. “I understand, Master.”
“Excellent. Now that one understands the full story of this dilemma of yours, Shenhe, one is now interested to learn more about you.”
“That isn’t necessary.”
Xianyun gasped, covering her mouth before her eyes softened. “And whyever not? Ganyu was more than willing to tell me about her life story. It’s only when one partakes in telling the story to others that she…”
“Anyways, Master,” Shenhe said, trying to move the topic away from her master’s tendencies. “I’ve nothing else to do today. Would you like to partake in some tea?”
“Why of course,” Xianyun agreed with excitement, “One shall invite Ganyu and Suyu as well. Hmm… perhaps Gaming would be eager to…” She sighed and shook her head. “No… the boy’s far too busy to travel all the way for something so trivial.”
As her master shuffled through her list of potential compatriots to share tea with, from Gaming to Zhongli — she even considered Mountain Shaper and Moon Carver — Shenhe remembered a particular moment during their conversation that stuck out to her. Xianyun never did anything without a reason, whether it be through actions or spoken words. Normally, Shenhe wouldn’t question it, choosing to have faith in her master, but this particular action drove her to ask out of curiosity.
“Master?” Shenhe started.
“Yes, Shenhe?” Xianyun asked, glancing back at her student.
“Before, you had a strange reaction when I told you about my story with Aether and Paimon. Why is that?”
“Ah, yes.” The adeptus’s smile returned to her face. “It’s the image of you petting little Paimon’s head like a child. For some reason, one cannot help but want to see it in person. You know how the girl is, shouting to the heavens that she is not a child.”
“That’s strange. I don’t see Paimon that way at all, but whenever I look into her eyes…” Even now she imagined Paimon’s star-like eyes before she slowly said, “…I see a bit of myself in them.”
Xianyun raised an eyebrow. “Do you, now?”
“Yes, and Aether smiles whenever I do and Paimon always asks me to buy food for her. It’s almost as if we’re a…” Shenhe stopped herself from finishing. From her master’s bewildered reaction, she knew she had just done something unexpected for even the adeptus. She shook her head, “What am I even thinking?”
“Please continue, Shenhe,” Xianyun said, walking closer to her student with comforting eyes. “One is listening.”
The disciple sighed, knowing that once her master gets an interest in a topic, she does not let it go. She built up the courage to say what had plagued her since the duo returned to Liyue. “Very well. Promise you won’t tell Aether or Paimon. Not even Ganyu, Gaming, or Suyu.”
Her master nodded to her request. “One promises.”
Shenhe paused again before placing her hand over her chest.
“Do you…think I still have a chance, Master? A chance to make another family?”