Chapter Text
December 13
She hoped she would never have to return here. The smell of fish assaulted her senses even when the dock was cleared. Her only solace was the sun’s rays dancing along the river’s edge as it rose above the horizon. With shorter days came the ability to easily view a sunrise even if she felt sluggish and wanted to return to the sanctity of her blankets. She sighed and took a seat on one of the benches that looked out at the Hudson River. She still remembered the pit in her stomach as she walked off the liner and took her first steps in America.
It seemed only fitting that it would be here they met again.
As the morning progressed, more and more people gathered on the dock with the same anticipation evident in their fidgeting and swaying. The crowd was abuzz with a multitude of voices trying to speak over the waves. Nothing could be made out but Asuka guessed they were engaged in small talk, maybe sharing their excitement at welcoming home whoever they were waiting for, or maybe they were waiting to leave. She watched as the crowd grew to such a size that, by midday, she could no longer see the edge of the pier nor most of the river.
The crowd grew more boisterous as a steam liner pulled into port. It must have been one of the ships transporting troops.
Asuka stayed where she was. He would come when he wanted.
“Hey, missy! What are you doing out here?”
She turned her head to the left. Beside one of the crates, she saw his red, tattered vest and messy brown hair. It had been a little over a year, but it felt like a lifetime to her. She smiled, picking up her briefcase, and walked over to him.
“Just came to watch the waves,” she replied. She wrapped her arms around him. “Welcome home.”
He squeezed her tight. “It’s good to be back.”
It felt so good to see him. A lightness she did not know she had filled her chest. Or maybe it was something like relief.
Judai pulled back. “You know, I think today might be a good day for that dinner.”
As they walked away from the pier—from the ship, from the other reunions, other departures—Asuka told him everything she had wanted to in her letters. She told him about how worried she was and how happy she was to see him. How she stayed up some nights, unable to fall asleep, with worry at everything that was happening. That some nights, she imagined everyone she knew dying, never being able to see her family again. That she had always kept him in her thoughts. That he was her friend and maybe even family. She did not know if he wanted that, but that was what she felt after worrying so much and hoping for him to return. No matter how much she denied it—tried to brush it off as her not wanting to go through the hiring process again, or her wanting someone else to live with her so they could pay part of the rent—she really did miss him and the space he filled in her life. She wanted to know him better and make up for lost time. She wanted to really earn his friendship. To deserve it. He listened to her and, once she had finished, he smiled. He too was relieved.
Other than the new restrictions, life seemed to go on as usual as they slowly settled back into their routine. He would chastise her here; she would retort there. It was reassuring. The paper continued on too. It branched out from its roots, including all sorts of news about the world, local events, and household tips and tricks. Everyone seemed so relieved last time Asuka walked into work. It was even a little quieter as everyone stopped smashing their typewriter’s keys.
But if everything was sunshine and roses, that would be a miracle.
Though the war was over, that did not stop the persecution of conscientious objectors nor the raids. Each one in the papers only made Asuka’s blood boil. There were also all the issues the returning soldiers had. Despite all their sacrifice, they were left to dry by the government and many became homeless. Judai went out every day to check on them and bring them anything they needed: blankets, food, lighters, cigars, and on and on. One day, they both returned from being out, slumped on the couch, and groaned. They both laughed. Judai offered to make her a sandwich and she accepted. Ham and cheese of course.
A knock came from the apartment door one day, to which Judai happily opened it. In came a bulky young man with black hair pulled into two buns. He was dressed in a worn-out two-piece suit and carried a canvas. Judai’s face could light up a city. He pulled the man into a tight squeeze and laughed. It was such a light laugh, like a feather: one she was unaware she missed.
“Hayato, you’re looking well! I take it the painting business is too?” he asked.
Hayato nodded with a smile. “I owe it to you and Miss Richelieu. Thank you so much!”
Asuka was touched. It was hardly anything big, but, well, that was what she thought when she gave Sho that food. She still remembered the look he had on his face. Maybe it was small, but it certainly meant a lot to them. Who was she to disagree? So long as they were happy and healthy.
“You are very welcome,” she replied, flashing her own smile.
What a happy spot in what were stressful days!
Judai let go of his friend. “And what do you have there?” he asked.
Hayato sifted the canvas around to reveal a wonderful painting of the Hudson River. It was like the view she had coming into the city for the first time. It was set at night, used so many blues, and was painted with this light, dreamy feeling to the brush strokes. The more art she saw from him, the more she recognized it as akin to impressionism. Judai’s jaw dropped as he extended his hands to bring it closer to himself.
“It’s beautiful,” he said. “We’ve gotta hang this in the living room!”
Asuka nodded.
A faint blush creeped along Hayato’s cheeks as he scratched his neck. “You guys are too sweet.”
“Would you like some tea?” Asuka asked. “I would hate for you to come here and not rest a little.”
“Oh, that would be nice. Thank you,” he replied.
Asuka smiled as she turned towards the kitchen, grabbing the kettle to fill it with more water. She placed it on the stove top and waited while it boiled. As she waited, Judai and Hayato sat on the couch and began to talk. She smiled, focusing on the lists stuck to the fridge. She missed this.
“Hey, missy?” Judai asked.
“Yes?” She turned to face him.
“What’s gonna happen now? You going back to France?”
For a few nights now, she had wondered when he would ask her and she would have to commit to whatever answer she gave. That commitment was something she wished she could ignore. She felt guilty knowing that the answer was actually simple for her to make; she was staying. What made it difficult was imaging her family’s reaction. They sent her to America to keep her safe. She would not have what she did currently without that decision. Before, her home was always in France; it was where her family, her teacher, the embroidered shoes and tie-on pockets her mother made, the châtaignier her father loved, and the rivers she and her brother would play in all were. Slowly, she figured, she must have come to appreciate New York in much the same way. It was different from her other home, but it welcomed her nonetheless (she was lucky in that regard she knew). Like her home in France, it held dear friends, her jobs, and cafés au lait with Jeanne biweekly. It held fewer memories than the twenty-one years she spent in France, but the memories—despite how few—meant as much to her as the numerous from France. Her apprehension of committing to her decision all came down to some perceived loyalty. That she owed it to her family—her country—to return to France and continue on her life as if was.
She gave him a lopsided smile. “Did you ever regret leaving the West Coast?”
He blinked at her before shrugging. “Nah, life will take me where it will. Not up to me to force it to do what I want, but I wouldn’t change now for nothing. Life’s pretty good.”
“Yes, it is,” and she really meant that.
“Boat ride over doesn't take that long anymore either,” Hayato said. “I heard from a client that it took ‘bout four days or something.”
Asuka giggled as she added the tea leaves to the pot. “Oh, really?”
“Oh, he just means well,” Judai said shaking his head with a smile.
Hayato, realizing what he said and to whom, lowered his head with a sigh.
Asuka placed the teapot on the coffee table along with some cups decorated with flowers and paint blots. “No need to focus on it; I think it’s nice that you felt the need to tell me.”
He smiled, scratching his cheek. “Did you, um, paint the cups yourself?” he asked.
“My maman and I actually. I’m not much of an artist, I’m afraid. Maman has that sense for these sorts of things. I wish she could have given some of that sense to me.”
“I bet you do and you just have to do it more. I wish I still had my early stuff: you’d never believe it!”
“Or you’re just better at different things. Your sewing though ain’t bad,” Judai chimed in.
“Well, thank you,” she replied. “At some point, I think I get used to saying something so much that it means nothing to me anymore. Like they are words someone else said coming out of my mouth. Strange, no?”
“I think it’s kinda sweet. Like, you never really rid yourself of anyone you meet.” Judai poured himself a cup of tea too. “Maybe our thing is getting into heavy topics at casual meetings.” He laughed.
“It is uncanny how often it happens,” she agreed. “Have you finally finished preparing for the book club?”
“Well—’’ he scratched the back of his head, “—sorta. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for it.”
“Pease just get it over with: I wanna get some sleep again.” Hayato sighed.
Judai feigned being hurt. “I share with you something I like, and that’s what you have to say!”
“How rude, Hayato.” Asuka tsked as she shook her head. “Are you not friends?”
“Is this just ‘gang up on Hayato’ day?”
The two of them made some noise, trying to deny it, before looking between themselves and laughing.
“One day, it will be your turn to get at us,” Asuka said.
“Well, that’s if you’re around. Otherwise, I gotta take it forever,” Judai pouted.
Asuka gave a small smile. “Well, I’m sure you will be happy then to hear that I plan on staying.”
Judai lowered his cup. “You serious?”
She nodded.
A look of pure relief washed over his face, making her want to bury her head in her hands. However, she reached for a cup and poured herself some tea. It would definitely help—she hoped—to distract her from that look. It made her stomach twist into knots.
And so, life went on. Soon the day came when she stood where her father stood and hated to tell her mother—who came dressed in her best to return her daughter home—that she would be staying. Her mother cast her eyes to the ground before lifting them again; a smile found its way to her lips, trying to hold back tears.
“Be safe, dear,” she said.
Asuka nodded as she stepped forwards for a hug.
The apartment was quiet that day as Asuka sat in the living room staring at the wall, wondering if she really made the right decision. Judai joined her in the afternoon, handing her a sandwich and a glass of water. She gladly accepted them and found herself soon laughing at his poor jokes and puns. She continued to laugh when she saw the face he made when she told him her family would be coming to visit in a month’s time. He sighed finally and sunk into the cushions.
Life was good, at least for now. Even when it crushed her between two rocks, she knew that she would make it through.
Everyone would do anything for what they love.
And she loved this life.