Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The theatre smelled of warm, buttery popcorn as they walked in through the large metal, neon doors. Basil didn’t go to the movies often. In fact, it’s been so long since he’s gone that he almost entirely had forgotten about the strong, pleasant smell that movie theatre popcorn had. It was overwhelming in the best of ways. The entirety of the sensations being made up of the popping of popcorn, the sounds of abundant laughter as people walked out of the movies they’d just finished, and best of all the sound of his friends still going on in their long conversation about the movie they hadn’t even watched yet.

It was all so warm and wonderful to Basil. Everything was simply right. Nothing out of place. Basil had to take a picture of them all, but he realised he had left his camera back on the dinner table at Sunny’s house. Perhaps it was intentional to make up an excuse to go back to their house, or maybe it was really a mistake.

Basil would never tell. That much was true. The group made their way to the counter each holding their own small paper ticket in hand. Hero and Mari ordered the drinks and snacks.

The fragrance of the popcorn overwhelmed Basil as he watched the salty treat pop in the machine. The satisfying sound of the lid rising and falling to the heat as the kernels cooked. The movie theatre was such a nostalgic place with its red carpet on the floor that led to the dark rooms with large screens and ambient sound systems. It had been such a long time since Basil had stepped foot in the theatre.

A rush of thrill went through Basil as Aubrey took his hand and led them to the ticket master to be let into the room. She hopped giddy with delight. Basil could distantly hear Hero tell them to wait as he was balancing an unfilled popcorn bucket as he walked towards them shakily. Even when clumsy, Hero still maintained a certain charm to himself. While the rest rushed over to the ticket master, to get their tickets approved. Kel going on and on about how he hoped none of the good seats were taken.

They all rushed into the dark room with red curtains against the wall. Decorated elegantly. Basil walked into the dark place, squinting slightly to the low lighting in the theatre. The previews were still playing luckily. When Basil glanced at the seating though, his heart had dropped just a little. He had forgotten that in this theatre the seats were separated into groups of two, with a popcorn holder between the two seats.

Basil turned to Sunny who was already staring at him expectantly to take the seat beside him. Sitting besides Sunny for almost two hours made Basil nervous just thinking about it. He knew he shouldn’t read between the lines of a simple outing like this one, although it was so easy to do. Every nerve in his body shook as he trembled into his seat right next to Sunny’s own. Sunny placed their shared popcorn between them and acted so naturally about the whole thing, Basil sighed somewhere between relief and disappointment.

He willed his heart to stop pattering away, and focused all his attention on the screen before them and not on the boy beside him. This was no time to be staring at Sunny, no matter how tempting it was. With the low lighting and Sunny’s attention to the movie, Basil would be able to so easily stare at him. Close, and not noticed. He could make out every movement of Sunny’s eyes as the bright light of the previews was reflected there in his pupils. Basil shook his head and stared at the screen again.

He sighed once again, he knew he was being ridiculous, and the only solution was to get a hold of himself. He was here for the movie, besides if he didn’t pay attention then he wouldn’t be able to impress Sunny with his own theories. That way Sunny could stare at Basil with wide, excited eyes as if he was hanging onto every word Basil was saying. Not that he didn’t already when Basil explained flowers or books to him. It’s just he wanted to see the kind of brilliant, entranced expression Sunny could give him if he were talking about something Sunny actually had interest in.

And so the movie began and all the lights fully turned off so that the only source of light was from the intro and title card. The animation style was as great as ever, and Basil could see where Sunny got some of his influence for his art. With the bright, plastic pinks and azul blues. Although, Basil had to admit that Sunny’s work had more character and expression to it. Not that he was biassed or anything.

It was hard for him to follow along, as he constantly got lost in the extravagant plot with tons of references to the other movies Basil hadn’t seen, at least not yet. The more the movie spoke about the lore and the difficulties of the intergalactic mechanisms and forces. The more Basil got lost. He felt kind of guilty, sitting there before a bright, blinding screen that only confused him. Its grand size makes him feel ever so small. He bit his lip feeling defeated.

So he stared idly at the moving pictures, not even trying to piece it together. Basil stared bored at the screen and went to reach for a handful of popcorn. Though, right when he did so, Sunny too was reaching for it. Their hands brushed against each other’s. Their fingers interlocked. Basil tore his eyes from the screen so quickly. He felt as though he were going to faint, all his blood rushed to his head. Sunny stared back at him just as dumbfounded.

They were holding hands in the dark. Sunny wanted to pull away, but he was too shocked that he couldn’t move a muscle. Basil was the one to pull away quickly. “S-s-sorry,” Basil mumbled in the dark. Sunny only sheepishly nodded and gestured for Basil to reach first. He did so and took some popcorn though his hands were a little shaky now.

Sunny took a handful too, and returned his attention back to the movie. Basil too forced himself to pay attention to the film, rather than fixated too heavily on the way Sunny’s hand felt so warm and soft. Even though he was staring at the screen, his mind was only replaying the butterflies he felt when they touched each other and created a spark.

Basil shook his head and looked forward, and good thing too, for the movie began to reach its final arc. The sequence all the fans were diligently waiting for. Everyone around Basil seemed to be on the edge of their seats, so he too began to tune back in.

Captain Space Boyfriend stormed into the headquarters of the villain’s lair. His cape swooping behind him in a dramatic flare. His face was serious and stern. He was about to confront his worst nemesis. None other than, Commander Comet, the source of all his problems. He was the one who infiltrated his own spaceship via a spy who poured poisonous Venus Dust into Space Boyfriend’s drink in an attempt to kill the Captain. In the same manner as Commander Comet had killed the Captain’s father, the ruler of the galaxy, all those years before.

“I’ve come to end your evil reign. To fight you for the peace you have taken from my life! To avenge my father and remind you of who I am, and what I’m worth! You thought you could kill me? I am a Captain, not a coward!”

He lifted up his space gun charging it up to the highest degree. The theatre filled with the electronic sound of a pulsing alien technology. The commander smeared at him and raised his own gun. It was going to be a battle to the finish. Life or death. The stakes were never this high before.

Basil was now also invested, despite his lack of context. His heart raced anxiously from fearing the worst. He knew he was shaking his head in devastation, but he couldn’t stop it. The scene playing before him was too much to bear. He didn’t get why hurt people had to fight back. Well, he supposed it made for an interesting story in the least. Sunny seemed to enjoy it. His eyes widening with every plot twist the two were revealing as they fought to the death.

He was engrossed in the drama like it was more than a low-budget show. Seeing his reactions made him care even more about the plot too. It made him wonder what he’d do if someone tried to poison him for no good reason. It made him wonder what he’d do if one of his friends were poisoned. That thought alone made him scared. He didn’t know what to do in that kind of situation. He was so glad he would never have to.

Basil still watched adamantly as the two continued to shoot at one another. Space Boyfriend was shot in the arm now crying out in pain. The villain laughed triumphantly.

“Why?” cried Space Boyfriend, “Why did you have to do it? Why did you have to kill my father? For a galaxy? A galaxy that wouldn’t love you anymore if it were under your rule?”

The villain shook his head cruelly. “It’s not about that! It was never about ruling the galaxy! What good is a galaxy, when it could crumble so easily? What good is a Space Ruler who would disregard the life of his own handmaiden? A woman so gentle and caring. Who spoke so little and gave so much. He never noticed her! He didn’t even notice she had died during the crossfire of the Black hole Barricade! A barricade that was the consequence of his own negligence! I tried to warn him but he didn’t listen! He was the reason she died an undeserving death! A death he never mourned! But I did! I loved her more than anything else in the intergalactic fields. She was my sun, and my orbit. She was my everything! My reason for fighting, and the reason why I will kill you. You were the one who distracted your father and started this entire war! The war that took a life! A life I would never live long enough to replace in worth! I forsake you!” The villain ended his monologue with his gun pointed right at Captain Space Boyfriend's head.

And then Basil realised something. Something truly clicked in him. His eyes widened as he watched the vibrant, liquid screen. And suddenly he saw himself there. In the script's words he heard his own thoughts. Reflected on the silver screen. Captured through Hollywood magic, and a tragic artist's written work. There had to have been a scriptwriter behind this movie, writing everything out through themselves. This was their work, they put their soul into it, assuming they had any passion for the project.

It dawned on Basil how some random, underpaid writer could be saying all the words he's thinking, lay it out on film, as though they and Basil were one of the same. And the actors, voice actors or not, had to channel exactly the emotion and meaning. No, the vision that the writer and director shared. They all knew, a part of them knew. Inherently, they took small instances from their own complex lives and worked it into a cartoon. Worked it into camera work and pixels. But the actors, whoever they were, whose faces were not shown for the entirety of the movie, were both the mask and the wearer. The character and the impersonator.

Basil’s thoughts were interrupted by Space Boyfriend shouting out his own retorts, “Love? You say you are fighting in the name of love? What do you know about love? For if you truly knew what love was you would know that there is nothing more pure than a kiss. Nothing more powerful than a connection. I fight too, not because I’m hurt and filled with hatred! But because I am healed! My heart is replenished by the love of Princess Sweetheart, for there is no sweeter love than the one that would fight for life!”

Then Space Boyfriend knocked the gun out of the villain's hand, which fired at him, but this time instead of getting hit a force field appeared all around Space Boyfriend as his Venus Crystal that Sweetheart had given him lit up. The fire ricocheted off of the pink shield and hit the Commander in his own heart. He screamed out as he fell to the ground.

Basil continued to stare, his mouth agape. His eyes focused. All he could wonder was; what did he know about love? What did the writer’s know? Were they hurt too, like the characters were?

Was Basil heartbroken too? It felt as though they all shared the same heartbeat through their shared ideas. Used, non-unique ideas. How many other stories are all telling the same message, the same lies, or the same views? How many stories were telling both sides, the villain and the hero? Both sides have to be believable in some way, otherwise no one would ever believe them.

It worked too, for Basil believed both. He believed when the Space Captain said he was doing it for love, in the same way the Space Outlaw was doing it in hatred and loss.

There was a reason why people did what they did, otherwise it would've been impossible to do. And what of the outlawed commander? Who Basil related to the most. Basil understood why he was corrupt. This was truly the terrifying part. A piece of Basil is like that too. There was nothing stopping him from making the same errors in logic and understanding that happened when people committed things they would later regret. They did it all the time.

There was nothing stopping Basil from acting heroic if the times called for it, and there was nothing stopping him from being a murder too, if it came down to it. That terrified him. He was no longer watching an action cartoon, he was watching life. And it was a horror film.

He is every part capable of murder as he is creation. Destruction, as he could, life. He didn't want to look at the screen anymore. The moving pictures only brought out this feeling like he too was a hero, villain, and human. A human who could be anything, at any time.

Then he felt a nudge on his shoulder. He turned and it was Sunny who was looking at him with a face full of concern. Basil placed a smile on his face, reaching somewhere deep within him that felt any semblance of joy, as an actor would. And projecting out through a crooked smile and creased eyes. He needed to be believable, and it wasn't hard. His smile filled with actual joy the longer he looked at Sunny. As though, Sunny was a source of all that was good in the world. As if, he didn't need to worry about doing wrong when surrounded by so many people who always did what was right.

If he could relate, somehow, in the most twisted of ways to a fictional murder. Then he would absolutely find it so much easier to reflect the comfort Sunny always embodied. If he tried hard enough he could find whatever it was Sunny found within himself to be so perfect. They were both equals, both under the same ropes of life, and they both knew what each other knew. They were best friends after all. Inseparable, in spirit. They both shared the same heart, they had to. Everyone did. For the worst, though more importantly, for the better. Basil swore of it, and he never swears.

…

The very next day was a picnic day. Basil was relieved at that, that movie scene still found its way into his head last time. He constantly would find himself going back to ruminating on all his worries from yesterday. He wondered on and on, in a looping spiral, whether or not he really meant what he had thought only the day prior.

Basil didn’t want to think of himself as a villain, but then, how come the villain’s speech affected him so much. Killing was wrong, no matter the reason. He reminded himself over and over of all the thousands of people who have loved, lost, and still lived. They didn’t need to succumb to such drastic measures, so neither did Basil. Perhaps he was much more sympathetic than he had once thought. It was wrong of him to see humanity in a cruel space leader.

He vowed to work on his morals. This truly bothered him. Right and wrong were as different as day and night. There was no reason he should be so confused over this. He needed to clear his head and focus on what was true.

Love is patient, love is kind. Love knows no envy. There is no love that delights in evil, all love does is rejoice in truth.

All Basil needed to do was remember that evil is out there, in characters or people. It took many forms, and it could not touch him. As long as he knew how to differentiate truth from falsity, A heart that plots evil, and hands that kill the innocent. Those did not know love. Which meant, Basil knew all the more.

He was virtuous. He was virtuous. He was virtuous. He was. He had to be.

…

Basil blinked, and it seemed as though time had transported him. He looked around him and all there was, was gentle love. He looked around him at the trimmed bushes and white concrete. In the distance he could see the far off sign that always stood so proudly in front of the park.

Beside himself, he could hear the clacking of sneakers on the pavement. All around him were the sounds of laughter. These laughs he had grown all too familiar with. They were his comfort, and his friends.

Basil turned and swapped his hand into Sunny’s as they walked. It was remarkable how simple contact could bring him back to earth. Grounding him to his present. Bringing forth all that was good in Basil. A blessing in disguise.

Basil was torn from his mind’s ever turning wandering with the sound of Kel’s rash voice, “You know what? I want one of those racing cars! Like the one we saw in the movie yesterday!” He skipped ahead of them. Making a good way ahead of the others, but his voice was so strong, they could hear him clearly.

Hero shook his head, “Is he talking about the ones that could fly?” It was something of a whisper, aimed for Mari to hear. Though, Kel’s exception hearing caught on, “Yeah! I want the orange one, of course!”

Aubrey rolled her eyes, “Kel, cars can’t fly!” The other stopped skipping and turned to face her, “Well, what do you know? By the time I’m old enough to drive, they might invent flying cars!”

Aubrey blushed with frustration. She opened her mouth to retort, though Mari expertly intervened, “That’s wonderful, Kel! You know what? In fact, I think we should all start our own vision boards!” Her voice was as encouraging and bright as always. This piqued Aubrey's interest. Effectively distracting her from Kel’s antics. “What’s a vision board?” She asked with wide, intrigued eyes.

“Well, it’s a poster that you make that has a bunch of pictures of all the things you want in your future. It helps remind you of your goals, which can be very helpful. I have plenty of good colleges on my vision board back at home. I can show it to you when we get back from the park,” She spoke so eloquently. If Basil wasn’t listening to her words, he would’ve thought she was lecturing them on the secrets to the universe. She always had a way of sounding so wise, no matter what.

“Huh, that sounds really cool! I want to make one,” Aubrey said. She flashed one of her happiest smiles. Hero nodded along, “Yeah, it’s important to have goals.”

“Oh! I would put a picture of a pool! I always wanted a grand pool with floaties and everything! Imagine all the fun we’d have over the summer together just relaxing in the water. There could even be a shallow side for Sunny!” Aubrey said, even pointing towards Sunny as she said it. Making the other blush at the attention. Basil caught on. He quickly saw the pink on the tips of Sunny’s ears before it could fade away.

The sight made Basil’s throat tighten slightly. He almost tripped over a crack in the sidewalk, if Sunny hadn't been holding onto him the entire time, he would’ve fallen completely. Sunny gave him a concerned glance, and Basil just shook his head apologetically. Walking again, as though nothing had happened.

It seemed no one else had noticed Basil’s little incident, as Mari kept on speaking, “Oh, wow, that sounds wonderful. It would be great to be able to go swimming in our own pool, instead of going to the lake all the time. I should add it to my vision board. That way there’ll be double the chance it’d come true.” She winked playfully at Aubrey, making Aubrey giggle a little.

Mari turned her attention to the boy walking right beside her, “And what would you add onto your vision board, Hero?” She batted her lashes softly at him, and he turned his gaze away for a moment to collect himself.

“Oh, well, I’d like a small house someday. Something quaint and homely,” Hero replied softly. Mari laughed, covering her brilliant smile behind her hand. It would’ve seemed bashful, had it not been for the mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

“Cute. And, by any chance, do you envision sharing that home with me?” She teased. It certainly got a reaction out of Hero, “Y-yes, of course. I’ve never really considered a future that you weren’t a part of.” There was nothing that wasn’t bashful in the way Hero responded with shy glances and an embarrassed rub at the back of his neck.

She blushed too. Mirroring Hero’s red tinted face, “Awww, that’s so sweet.” Basil smiled up at the two of them from where he was following closely behind. He loved seeing them two being such perfect complements to each other. It gave him hope just knowing that there was truly a person from everyone.

Mari sighed dreamily, “Just imagine all of us growing older together. Wow… Imagine seeing them get to high school. That’s only a couple of years away from now… I guess, I just thought we were already grown already, huh?” She laughed, ever so playfully. Her voice, a music box and the little mannerisms in her hands as she spoke, were a dance only she could perform. Hero sighed too, mimicking her. “It really does feel like it sometimes,” His voice had a hint of far off nostalgia.

For what exactly, Sunny couldn’t discern as he looked up at his sister and Hero. It never occurred to Sunny that there was a time beyond this one. That this very moment was merely a memory, a moment, or glimpse that a version of him would cherish. Like a book stored on a dusty shelf, only ever being recovered when he wanted to read something from the past.

The future seemed so unreal. There was nothing that made it seem permanent, only a subjective thought. Although, the passage of time was bound to happen. Sunny looked up at all his friends before him. He tried to picture them all as high schoolers, and college students.

He surprisingly came up with nothing. He could only see them as taller versions of who they already were walking ahead on the sidewalk, and turning to smile down at him. He’s seen in the movies that when you get to high school you kind of have to go through a big, dramatic change. Like cutting your hair and dressing tough. But who else could his friends be? He couldn’t envision it at all, he really didn’t know.

It kind of pulled at his heart a bit, in a downcast kind of way. He usually was super good at imagining things. Why was imagining giant cats and a world made of sugar easier than imagining them all grown up? Maybe he needed to think about it more.

His thoughts were cut short by Mari’s pearly voice, “Hmm, and what would you like to put on your vision board, Basil?” She turned to look at him as he walked right behind her. Basil thought deeply about the question, “Um… well, I g-guess I already have a v-v-vision board.”

Mari lifted a brow and looked at him with interest, “What do you mean?” Her question was nice, but it still flustered Basil. He blushed and stumbled over his words as he tried to explain, Not getting more than a few syllables in.

Aubrey then turned to face him from where she was walking in the front. Her eyes glowed with knowing as she connected the dots in her mind, “Oh! Are you talking about your photo album?”

Basil smiled with relief washing over him at Aubrey knowing him so well, “Y-y-y-yup, I already have pictures of everything I could ever want in my f-f-future t-tucked neatly away in my album.” He nodded gently at her and she smiled satisfied, mostly to herself, before turning back to face the park they were approaching.

Kel piped up from where he was running circles around the park’s sign, “I never thought about it like that!” Aubrey once again rolled her eyes. “Of course you haven’t,” she mumbled. Kel dropped his face in offensive. Hero chimed in, “Hey, watch it you two.”

Basil turned away from the little dispute. His eyes finding their way comfortably back onto Sunny’s pale face. His eye traced out the outline of Sunny’s features from his side profile. Something he’s done so many times before in that small church. He took a moment before finally speaking his mind, “What about you, Sunny? What kind of things would you put on your vision board?”

Even though he knew Sunny wasn’t one to answer very often, he still hoped that the other could at least think it over. Perhaps even tell him later, if he ever finds the words for it. Sunny only seemed to hum, before shrugging. Sunny didn’t really think about it. Come to think of it, he didn’t have any goals. No colleges to look forwards to, no pool sides to lodge on, or any cars to own. He was content with how things were.

“Me too, I don’t really know what I want to do, or have in my future. You know, apart from this,” Basil mumbled, bringing the words straight from Sunny’s mind. It always made Suny feel so assured every time he and Basil seemed to be thinking the exact same thing. They entered the park, hand in hand. Their thoughts melding as one.

…

Basil felt at rest, for the first time, that day. All his worries left him, just as they always did whenever he was surrounded by his friends. Or, that was always the case. Until now.

“And I’ll be a… bounty hunter! Yeah, and I’ll be on a destined path to kill all the horrible Space Pirate murders!” Aubrey said proudly as she stood on top of a large rock. Her hands resting assuredly on her hips. Her gaze was serious and her smile echoed some foreign victory, far beyond this world.

“What? No, you can’t just kill him because he kills! Hero said that if you do something bad to someone because they hurt you that doesn’t make it right, that just makes two bad people. That’s two wrongs. Double the wrong!” Kel countrered. His arms were crossed and his pout was deep. Aubrey huffed angrily.

“But he killed first! If I don’t take matters into my own hands, he might kill someone else! First the Ruler of the galaxies, then what? The prince?” she said exuberantly, her hands making exaggerated expressions towards Sunny, who only stood there silently.

“No, I won’t let you do that! I’m a Space Captain, and I will, um… put you both in intergalactic jail. So that way you’ll both think about your bad deeds and learn to stop!” Kel spoke with confidence as he stepped onto a taller rock than Aubrey’s. Aubrey rolled her eyes, “There’s no stopping him! If he escapes jail, then he’ll keep killing people! Do you really want to take that chance? Really?”

Kel stumbled for a while. His face showed so many little expressions, as his thoughts churned in an attempt to come up with a comeback. His face then dropped to a sombre one. Basil has never seen him being so reserved before, “Um… yeah, he’s a person too.” Kel rubbed his arm.

“Yeah! A bad one!” Aubrey countered. Her face seemed serious. Kel then piped up, “Then we’ll put him in jail to punish him. A jail strong enough to contain him forever. It sucks in jail, just like him!”

Basil suddenly cut in. Their argument felt too real and it hurt hearing them talk about someone else’s life like that, “G-Guys st-stop! I-I don’t like this! H-He’s not a b-bad person! He p-probably had his reasons to k-k-k-kill the R-Ruler. What if the r-ruler was c–c-cruel to the people? H-He wouldn’t just do it for no r-reason! T-There’s got to be a-another explanation. H-He’s not b-bad!” His voice was cracking, practically on the verge of tears.

Kel immediately jumped off the rock and went towards Basil. His hands hovering around him as though he was trying to patch him together with invisible tools, “Woah, wow, um, I’m sorry I didn’t think you’d get all upset about this. Gosh, now I feel bad.” Basil looked down to the ground feeling embarrassed at his little outburst. Kel seemed so hurt with his frown. Basil couldn’t look at it for very long.

“Yeah, it’s alright, we can just play something else then… we don’t need to be Space Pirates. How about we just, um, go play tag instead?” Aubrey offered. She too was right beside him and looking at him with pitiful eyes.

Basil nodded sheepishly as his face was still heated and burnt red with embarrassment. Aubrey and Kel walked off a little to give Basil some space. Distantly he could hear them getting into an argument over whose fault it was that Basil was now crying.

Basil didn’t really care to listen as his eyes were still burning in the corners, where his hot tears leap out. Sunny slowly approached Basil, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Basil liked how the touch made him feel so much better in an instant. He placed his own hand on top of Sunny’s. Trying to feel those warm sparks that Sunny always gave him. His hands felt golden underneath Basil’s own.

Basil felt so grateful for him at that moment. More than ever before. It made his tears subsided as though he was never hurt to begin with. Then, a miracle happened.

“It’s okay, Basil. I can be the bad guy. It’s just pretend after all,” Sunny whispered. His voice was something sweet like honeycomb, but tethered lightly at the edges. As though it was rusted from being housed in Sunny’s throat for too long. Far too long.

Basil’s eyes widened as he heard Sunny’s comforting words. This was the first time he’s heard the other speak after all. It was wonderful. He committed it to memory the moment he heard it. He wished to hear it again. To say something so meaningful, that Sunny would have to speak again. All those lost tears were worth it only to hear Sunny. Basil couldn’t remember what prompted him to, but he pulled Sunny into a hug. It was the best hug he’s ever received.

…

“Aubrey, told me someone was crying. What’s going on?” Mari’s voice chimed in. Basil slowly let go of Sunny. Both their faces were blushed, and Basil could feel himself shaking with nerves. Being next to Sunny so closely had awakened something in him. Like a candlelight’s flame, or a flower in bloom. It was as though he opened up to the world in a little action. It only took a small hug, and now Basil felt as though he were everywhere. He felt like he could breathe air for the first time. He was in the dirt they stood on, or maybe in the clouds up above.

But wherever he was, it all felt like home. It all felt like Sunny. Basil longed to bury his face in Sunny’s sleek hair once again. To feel the softness there. Now, it was so clearly obvious why Basil kept staring at the other. Why he thought of the other late at night or right when he woke up was so clearly simple. All he wanted was to touch the other. To feel a summer’s warmth on gentle skin. To smell nostalgia hidden in Sunny’s scent of clean laundry and childhood’s wonder. He smelled so woody like a woven basket, and so sweet, like a honey grape.

All that time he’s spent watching, it all was because all he wanted was to be next to the other. Under his own dark, nightly stare. But beside him always, too.

Mari touched Basil’s shoulder, and he blinked. He would’ve also jumped if he didn’t already know that she was beside him. She gave him a knowing smile, and he couldn’t return it. For something within him felt so exposed. Too exposed.

She led him away from the others and when Basil finally came to his senses he realised he was in front of the red swing set. He followed her wordless guidance, and sat down on the creaky metal.

It was a quiet and cloudy day. Just Basil was sitting on the swingsets looking at the ground that was cast in the day’s shadow. He felt so small right then, even though it was only Mari beside him. Basil began to upset the dirt beneath him with the tip of his brown shoe. Looking for anything to be a distraction from his sudden racing heart, and shaking bones.

When he looked up he could see Mari staring down at him with a sneaky smile that meant she was definitely hiding something important. In a graceful twirl. She too sat down onto the swing beside him. She gave him her signature knowing look the whole while. Basil swallowed dryly knowing he was in deep waters. It felt like her watching him meant he was trapped with nowhere to go now.

In short, he knew that she knew.

They sat for a while in silence. She tapped her chin thoughtfully with the end of her french tipped nails. Her hands are always perfectly painted. Touched up, just like everything else about her. “Why were you crying? It’s alright, I get it. Sometimes things can get so overwhelming,” she asked, her voice was so calm. It made Basil sigh out. He really wanted to answer her question, but a part of himself felt like she wouldn’t quite understand.

“Do you think bad happens for no reason at all?” Basil asked. His voice shook and he knew that if he looked her in the eyes now he would bawl up again. This time, he didn’t think he had it in himself to stop if he started.

Mari smiled sadly. She crossed her legs and her purple skirt flowed with her subtle movements. It only took her a few moments to speak, “Well maybe we shouldn’t think of it in terms of good or bad. Maybe there is no good or bad. Stuff- things- people are just so complex, you know. Or maybe I’m just biassed and looking for an excuse,” She giggled lowly and sweetly to herself, almost absentmindedly. As though she told a joke only she could crack.

Basil didn’t quite understand it. Though, he still had another pressing question to ask. He knew he should keep these things absolutely hidden. That he shouldn’t utter a single word, but all his confusion bubbled up within him, and it poured out through his lips faster than he could process it all.

“Is it b-b-b-b-bad that I want to be with Sunny? I don’t know, I’ve been t-t-thinking about it all day. Ever since you were talking about futures, I really want him in mine. L-l-l-like how you want to spend the rest of your life living with Hero? I don’t know what it is but I just really want to be with him. Sometimes it makes me s-sad,” Basil looked away. He hid his hands between his thighs and his eyes were hidden behind his bangs. He looked ashamed, and Mari could only smile sadly at him. Despite the fact that he wouldn’t see it.

“No, it’s not bad. I think… Caring can come in many different forms and it doesn’t matter what way you feel it. But you really don’t need to be worrying about those kinds of things right now, Basil. You have all the time to figure it out. You should live in the moment and not worry about labelling what you feel right now. Just let the feelings be. Enjoy them as much as you can, and soon enough you’ll find a word to describe it. And then you can work things out with Sunny in your future… But you’ll have to take things slow, you know how my brother doesn’t really understand his feelings all that well. Although, you’d be surprised how much he feels things. He cares really deeply about you, Basil, and that’s all that matters in the end, don’t you agree?”

Basil slowly looked up at her. Shaking the entire time he spoke, “W-w-w-what do you mean… He cares about m-me, a l-l-lot?” She nodded her head softly.

"Look, I know you, Basil. You're the most reflective person I know. It's like... when you walk into a room, you can instantly read the energy of everyone around you. And you can be so, so nice when surrounded by the right kinds of people. You can see the best in everyone and bring it out in them by first bringing it out in yourself. Always remember that, okay? Don't let the worst in others get reflected through you. Use your power to bring out the best. It's your best quality. I should know. We share that same magical ability. I could recognise it in you the first time I met you, Basil. And I know how worried you can be, and how much you crave simple meaning and simple joy. I think my brother is a wonderful person to find that in. That's why you two get along so very well together. He brings out the calm in you. I can see, and in turn you make him more willing to reach out. Him seeing you willing to just try is more than enough to make him want to try to," She said with caring eyes.

Her words sounded true. Though Basil was always too full of doubts. "How can you be s-s-s-sure?" He asked. His eyebrows knitted in worry. He never felt so anxious for an answer before in his life.

She smiled at him once again. She looked both ways as though keeping a lookout around them. Then she lifted her hand and covered the side of his face, concealing her lips behind her fingers. She leaned in, and the movement rocked her swing slightly. "Heh, I will let you in on a little secret. Promise not to tell. Sunny would be mad at me if he knew I told you this," she whispered behind a clasped hand.

Basil’s eyes widened once again and nodded eagerly, "What is it? I won't tell him anything, I promise." He even held out his hand with his pinky to her, she nodded in approval. Linking both their fingers together in a promise. A sealed promise, to be precise. She shook their hands together once in a resolute way, before letting his hand go. Then she began to tell him.

"Okay then. So you know how he doesn't talk, like ever?" She whispered. Basil nodded. "Well, the only times he ever talks is to ask about you,” she said.

"Really?" Basil felt his entire body light up. His butterflies returned and his stomach fluttered and flipped so excitedly. He felt so happy. She nodded. Her strands of hair moving across her face to the wind.

"Yes. Lately the only word he ever says is your name. It's kind of sweet… I think he likes you,” she teased. Basil pulled away so quickly. His face would have melted off from how hot he felt. He was breathing quickly, “Ah! D-d-don’t say t-t-t-tthings like t-t-t-t-that, Mari!”

Mari laughed softly, “Oh, Basil. I didn’t mean it like that.” Her voice was innocent but her eyes told a different story. Basil decided to take her word for it, “O-okay, if you s-say so.”

She hummed and once again tapped her chin, “You left your camera in my dining room. That’s not the only thing you left, now was it?”

Basil almost fell off the swings, and his heart could’ve stopped at any moment from how cold. His blood was flowing through his veins. He was frozen still and scared. He was holding onto the chains of the swings for dear life at this point.

“H-How did you k-know?” Basil squeaked out. She shrugged her shoulders softly, “I saw the note on the bedside table. You didn’t do a good job of hiding it in his sketchbook. A corner was sticking out, and I recognised your handwriting.”

Basil wanted to run, but trying now would’ve been hopeless. For his knees were so weak.

"What did you write to him, anyways?" She asked.

"Um, nothing specific...just telling him that I had so much to say that can't be written down. Don't you think he should've been curious enough to write back to me? It's like he doesn't even read them, and yet, here I am feeling so defeated every time I go to my usual spot on the picnic blanket just to see nothing," Basil mumbled.

Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh? There’s more?” She was so interested now. Basil blushed even darker realising he just relieved yet another secret that should’ve never seen the light of day. “Oh… um, y-y-yeah. The last few picnics I’ve been, um, leaving l-l-letters wherever Sunny sits. They’re never there the next t-time I go, but he doesn’t l-l-leave anything either. I don’t know, it’s nothing important t-though. I just want to wish him well s-sometimes, and my s-s-s-stutter makes it so hard. S-so I write instead,” Basil mumbled.

Mari cooed lightly. She took in every word he spoke so intently. She hummed for a bit, thinking it all over. Her answer was clear. "Hmm, I see. Well, I know my brother well enough to say that he's probably too scared to do anything about them. If you really need to get it off your chest that badly, then it's about time you just talk to him. At least he knows that you have something on your mind, that's not for nothing. He does have an active imagination, so, who knows all the things he already thinks you're going to say..." She said it in a higher voice almost like she was teasing Basil.

"W-What if I worried him t-t-t-terribly? What if that's why he's s-scared because he t-t-thinks it might be something b-b-bad?" Basil began to speak so quickly. He would’ve bitten his nail clean off right this moment, if his hands weren’t trapped so tightly between his thighs at that moment.

"Is it something bad?" Mari asked. She tilted her head a bit to get a better look at Basil’s worried expression. Basil shook his head, "No, um, just e-embarrassing, I guess"

"Well in that case, you'd be surprised to find out he feels the same way," Mari said cheerfully. Her smile was more encouraging than it’s ever been before.

"What? No, what do you mean? I- I-I don't understand, it's not l-like t-t-t-that!" Basil said with a chittering, anxious voice. Mari sighed sympathetically and she held eye contact softly with him. Blue eyes meeting shining black ones. She placed a gentle hand on his arm, trying to be comforting. It only partially worked to ease Basil’s nerves.

"Basil, it sounds like you're not ready. But when you are… know that I support you, and I just know it'll go way better than you think. Trust me and go for it. Your heart does know what it wants," she said. Any other time Basil would have sworn she would have ended her sentence with a wink and a smirk. But this time around, she just smiled at him softly.

Her eyes squinted slightly in a way that was telling him that she could see through him. Basil sighed, knowing what she meant, but hating that he still couldn't take that risk because of what was on the line if he was so very, very wrong.

She turned back around with her sleek black hair swaying in the wind to the motion of her turning. Her hair framed her face beautifully even though it was being pushed along with the gentle breeze. She always looked so put together.

“You know, there's a recital coming up. Flowers, and perhaps confessions, might be in order after the performance. It might even be the perfect time. Just think about it,” she said. Basil bit his lip as he could feel his hope rise up and the burning on his cheeks get more noticeable. When he looked up to reply to Mari, she had already left Basil.

He didn't know what it all meant, maybe it didn't matter. At least not in the end.

…

“It’s just pretend after all.”

But lately it’s been getting harder and harder to pretend. Harder to pretend he was still a good brother when all he wanted to do was slam the violin onto the hardwood floor just to get a reaction out of her that wasn’t disappointed, irked, or irritated.

Or worse cheery. He wanted to give her a reason to hate him because all her shallow words of encouragement were coming from nowhere, and it just didn’t make sense. Why was he never good enough? And why did she keep pretending like it was okay?