Chapter Text
Rolan gripped the envelope for what felt like an eternity but it had only been seconds. Another hiss passed his teeth before, in a flurry, the hand abandoned the envelope to join the other in resecuring buttons and fixing his tie.
A pause.
A deep breath.
Then he gripped the envelope once more. His feet carried him past the door once they were secured within his shoes. They took him past the hall, down the elevator, past the nosy desk-man and into the night air. A brisk walk further down the lane and to the right would bring him to the bar. Had the first available taxi stopped at his call he would have been there sooner but he knew better. Miss the first available taxi, add twenty minutes to the wait.
He didn't have time to spare.
He already wasted years waiting. If he was quick, and he was, he could get there in the time it look to wait.
Wait.
Why did he wait? What was the cost? In his darkest moments they had been there. They supported him and at the moment they needed him most he chose this life and left them behind. Few regrets lingered. He did what he had to for his family. Sacrifices must be made and his heart had suffered the blow for it. This regret haunted him. This regret he couldn't let go.
As he pondered the past his feet carried him through the door of the noisy bar. Yellow eyes locked unto the red eyes of Astarion who then nodded to a figure at the bar. Their back was to him but he'd know that figure anywhere. His breath caught in his throat and his heart threatened to undo him. The envelope he'd kept nearly pristine all these years had become a crumpled mess in his tensed balled up fists as he tried to steel himself to take a step forward.
Just one step.
They're right there. Just-
"Nice suit, Rolan." Their eyes met with his as he forgot how to breathe for the second time that night. He watched as they slid off the bar stool and advanced in his direction. He watched as if the world slowed to a maddening crawl as he felt familiar arms he had resigned himself to dreaming about wrap around him as if no time had passed between them. His own arms tentatively wrapped around them in return convinced he was dreaming as he took them closer taking in their familiar scent.
This was real.
They were in his arm and he in theirs.
It felt as thought time stopped for them and they held each other before the sound of Astarion's cough pulled them both out of it. "There's a room in the back you two can catch up in if you insist on just hugging each other in the middle of my bar." He teased playfully.
Rolan could see their blush and felt his own before he took their hand and brought them back to a table in the back. It was less lively there. They could talk there.
"Look I just wanted-" They spoke in unison "You go first-" they both continued before they both chuckled.
Another beat and Rolan finally spoke up. "I...I'm sorry." He saw the look of surprise on their face and he handed them the crushed envelope. "I... I often thought of what I would say and how I might mess it up and give you a reason to leave so I wrote this... I must have written it a million times and I could write it a million times more but the long and short of it is I'm sorry. I chose this... this life thinking it had to be 'either or' and never considered it could be an 'and'- "
A finger pressed to his lips "You always were the smartest idiot I ever met." Their chuckle was like a healing balm. "I know how important the security and safety of your family is to you. There's nothing to forgive so long as you're happy."
"I'm not happy. I let a member of my family go when I should've kept them by my side with Cal and Lia."
"Don't." Their voice was nearly a whisper. "I am just as much to blame."
"Just shut up and kiss already!" Astarion called out breaking any remaining tension. "Should have taken the room I offered." He gave them a wink and went back to charming his guests.
"Do you want to go back to my place? I have so much I want to tell you, so much I want to know about what you've been doing. So much time to make up for."
"I'd love that." They smiled and took his hand. "Lead on, Rolan."
Rolan smiled as his tail swished from side to side.
He almost missed this. He almost chose to stay home thinking it would be better to be hated than to know the truth.
The truth.
The truth was they both chose to go their separate ways to follow their dreams. They both supported each other from afar and somewhere along the way Rolan lost sight of it. Lost himself in the story he told himself that it was to keep his family safe.
It didn't matter anymore. Time and fate brought them back together and while it would take time to heal they would do it together.
As they walked into the bustling city night they stood side by side, hands brushing against each other not quite ready to be held past the initial hug shared, they shared a moment of hope and apprehension. Anyone watching them could see they loved each other but it was a journey they would have to discover on their own in their own time.
Rolan smiled as he poured two shot glasses from his mini bar and looked out at the floor to ceiling windows. A side glance told him they had done the same and hummed raising the glass to them. "To shots taken in the dark and second chances." The glasses clinked and they smiled.
"To my grumpy idiot and second chances."
"I'm not grumpy!" He laughed halfheartedly in mock indignation. "Or an idiot." He added after too long a pause laughing.
The laughter that night chased out the cacophony of the night into symphony of the dawning morning interrupted only by the return of a very spirited Lia and exhausted Cal both erupting at the sight of their old friend. Stories were shared mostly at the expense of Rolan and the morning began with Rolan on the couch holding a passed out companion with Lia sleeping sitting on the floor with her head in their lap and Cal sprawled across Lia's lap.
Rolan smiled once more as he watched the three sleeping, his companion resting on top of him and he could see his family whole once more.