Chapter Text
Rei told me that there would be a meeting woith the enemy in a few days on October 1 to commence the official beginning of the war, and that I wasn't allowed to be there since i was supposed to be a secret weapon, but that i should evesdrop so i can see who our main enemies will be. I had some time to burn until then, and i wanted to hang out with LEO but he was busy and kanata was too so i couldnt stalk check up on him :( with no better options, i decided it was time to partake in the most sacred of emo activities- hot topic shopping spree!! >.<
i bounced my way up to the front door before rwalizing that seemed too preppy, then trudged nside.
"𝖂𝖊𝖑𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊~" said the emo little twink at the cash register. "Uh, I meant welcome to hot topic." I smiled and waved , and then began diggint through the box of buttons on ther front counter. I could feel the cashier's eyes on me.
"What's your name?" he asked, as i was holding one button with the album cover for Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge printed on it and another button shaped like a UFO that i thought LEO would like. When I looked up , I reslized how close the cashier was, golden eyes boring into me and red fox ears perked up and alert. I jumped back, dropping both pins . "I said, what's your name?"
"Ehe, Madara Bullet Nightbane Quincey Mikejima desu," I said, miming tipping my cowboy hat to him before realizing I look stupid as fuck.
The cashier smirked. "Ah, a cowboy, how curious" he said. "Do you have an interest in weaponty, perchance?"
"Uh, perchance..." I said, laughing nervously.
"Hmm..." He stepped out from behind the counter, extending his clawed hand invitingly yet menacingly. He was wearing a shredded black t-shirt with a drop of blood embroidered ovr the breast and a long-sleeved, black-andg-ray stirped shirt underneath, along with rippder black jeans with red fishnets underneath, and dirty red converse. he was also wearing a lanyard with lots of hot toic buttons an enmale pins weith weird symbols pinned all along it. "Natsume the Blood-Colored Kitsune Sakasaki." He said. "I want to show you something."
"O-okay-!" I said, and took his hand. Natsume winced slightly, probably due to my insane gorilla grip, but then led me to... the back room!!!
It was a normal back room.
"This is a normal back room," I commented.
"STFU- I mean, 𝔰𝔦𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢, 𝔣𝔬𝔬𝔩, for this is not the destination." And then, he led me to another set of doors.
"What happens behind these doors," Natsume warned. "stays behind these doors. Do you hear me, Mikejima Bullet Nightbane Quincey Madara?"
I nodded
"good." natsume took out a key, and unlocked the doors, wuixkly fdragging me inside. As he shut the doors behind us, i marveled at what lay before me.
In a beautiful gotthic room, lit by candlelight and draped in fine red curtains and spiderwebs, was a statue of the most beautoful man I ever saw , who also just happened to be coimpeltely nude, except instead of a penis there was a gun imbedded in there.
"Ah."
"This is a magical gun," Natsume explained. "It has mysterious magical porperties and was used by heroes and antiheroes past, capable of penetrating through the forces of light and the heavens or something like that idk it's been a while."
"Okaya but why is it in someone's dick"
"Do you think I put that shit there I literally just work here." Natsume sighed. "It's here for safekeeping, and the gun will choose who's "worthy" to weild it. So you have to try pulling it out of the statue.
"Ewugh," I cringed, face heating up. "I-I don't wanna touch another guys' gun-dick."
"Why not."
"I don't like dick" I said closetedly.
"You don't?"
We stared at each other for a minute. "Uh, I mean- thou must!!" Natsume said, raising his hands like a sick-ass wizard and summoning fire from them. "It is in thy destiny (probably) to tryyyyy!"
I gulped, looking at the gun befor esteeling my resolve. I approached the statue and wrapped my hands around the gun's handle. "Sorry Natsume if this looks gay to the readers." Then, I pulled.
A brilliant but super demonic shiny light emerged from the statue as the gun slowly managed to slide. I yanked that thang asunder and then the gun was freed from the statue, and i was the wielder!!
Natsume raised an eyebrow. "Very impressive . Well then, Madara, it seems as though you are the chosen one destined to wield this gun and fight in the war of ideals"
I blinked, looking at the gun and then back at Natsume. "Oh! Well, what does that entail?"
"Fuck if i know, like i said i literally just work here i dont really gaf." Natsume said, annoyed. "Oh! you're also supposed to get this since you have the gun now."
He handed me a slip of paper. It was a Hot Topic coupon for buy one t-shirt get another one half off. Fuck. Yeah.