Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

#gen-chat

bi-ceps
I’m going to ask all of you ONE time, alright,
but who the FUCK made this welcome back display for bitch boi mcgee

okaka man
I did, why?

bi-ceps
IT’S BECAUSE IT’S TACKY AND STUPID it looks UGLY
I could’ve made a better one but he definitely doesn’t deserve it

hot girl summer
not that this isn’t a riveting convo lmfao
But what the fuck is this about anyways

bi-ceps
We’re getting an old friend back after a year overseas
I wanted all of us to pretend we didn’t know he existed but I think he would’ve cried

okaka man
that’s my best friend >:( quit your shit or else I’ll make you eat dirt

crusty finger boi
HELLO???? LMFAO
Wait holy shit
ISN’T THIS UHHH FUCKIN GOJO’S LIKE,,,TOP STUDENT OR SOMETHING

bi-ceps
Yeah, he’s pretty up there
Don’t inflate his fuckin ego tho
He may be Special Grade but he also screamed his head off when he saw Gojo without his blindfold in the middle of the night

hot girl summer
to be FAIR that shit is absolutely terrifying

dog days
Can unfortunately relate

okaka man
oh my god he’s here
HE’S HERE I CAN SEE HIM
IT'S BEEN SO LONG

dog days
Please don’t swamp him.
He’s probably exhausted after being overseas for so long, I know I would be too

hot girl summer
…you literally hate mostly everyone and would rather die in your room and not talk to people

dog days
Yuuta is a kindred spirit and he’s relatable
except, y’know, the whole Rika thing

hot girl summer
lmao you LITERALLY have yuuji with the king of curses in him

dog days
Shut the FUCK up

bi-ceps
Just watched Inumaki tackle Okkotsu down
Gojo’s laughing like a stupid banshee
…Itadori also just sprinted past me
Oh
Oh no
Panda’s running too

hot girl summer
not to call you out bestie but I totally watched okkotsu call you over and you went fuckin SPRINTINGGG
DID GOJO TURN OFF HIS INFINITY JUST TO HUG YUUTA
Oh
is he…fighting him?
man idk sorcerers are fuckin weird

#gen-chat

okaka man
yuuta cried seeing his welcome back stuff so Im giving him an invite to the server get fucked maki

bi-ceps
That’s fine.

curse biter
I legitimately don’t know how to feel about this

panda
It’s pretty accurate though. I was listening to Masamichi talk about Yuuta’s performance and apparently he really was just out there biting the absolute shit out of curses. Yuuta and Rika are feared here in Japan and in several other countries.

curse biter
:D thanks panda

bi-ceps
I watched Yuuta trip over the sidewalk and Rika came out
She didn’t even help, she laughed in his face and then vanished again

curse biter
:(

okaka man
lmao bitch

#curse-missions

hot girl summer
whoever’s next to gojo rn tell him to suck my dick
don’t put me on missions with two morons who bypass so many techniques that we all spent ages perfecting that they destroy curses without breaking a sweat

curse biter
I’m sorry!!!

hot girl summer
shut up I don’t want ur pity

okaka man
lmao what the hell happened?

hot girl summer
WHEN YOURE PAIRED UP WITH OKKOTSU “CRAZY EX GIRLFRIEND” YUUTA AND ITADORI “CATCH THESE HANDS” YUUJI THEN COME TALK TO ME ABOUT HOW UNFAIR THAT SHIT IS

dog days
Gojo just laughed his ass off and said it was a “humbling experience”, or whatever that means

hot girl summer
he’s about to humble my foot in his ASS

crusty finger boi
wait wh
what’s wrong with my technique? :(

hot girl summer
honey,
I’m not talking to a man who used Black Flash several times after he’d only been a sorcerer under a year
OR mr. special grade who beat the shit outta some dude after learning the BladeTM for a few months

curse biter
glad to be home, truly

#gojo-sighting

crusty finger boi
Gojo spotted near the training field!!!! he’s about to go bother someone!!!
JSKLDFSF oh no it’s Inumaki and Okkotsu

panda
If you keep giving a play-by-play I’ll get Inumaki to make you some noodles in a rice bowl. I can add some meat in there too.

crusty finger boi
on god BET
okay Okkotsu spotted him
jfdsklf they moved so FAST to get away!! they’re running for the school lmfao
WAIT THERE’S RIKA!!!!! PUT IT IN #RIKA-SIGHTING !!!!! she lunged at Gojo but bounced off!!
wow this is a fun fight
the tiles on the roof tho are digging into my ass

dog days
…Why are you on the roof?

crusty finger boi
don’t ask
Okkotsu’s fighting Gojo tho! this is awesome. y’know sometimes I forget that Maki actually like, trained this dude with weapons and he’s actually really good at this stuff
he just did a complicated backflip and that definitely would’ve stabbed Gojo in the side if it didn’t bounce off
wh
HE JUST DID THE FUCKIGN SPLITS??? AND SLASHED AT GOJOS MF ANKLES??
DUDE

bi-ceps
Oh good, I taught him that move lmao
Glad to know he actually remembered it.

crusty finger boi
WHDSJKLFLF
jfc I really decided to have terrifying friends huh
Inumaki looks like he wants to say something but idk man he’s just cheering Okkotsu on
#bffs
WAIT OKKOTSU JUST
COPIED INUMAKIS TECHNIQUE
AHAHHGHFDGHHHH

panda
Truly riveting. I think you should be a sports commentator, Itadori. This is pretty damn hilarious to listen to.

bi-ceps
I feel like I’m actually there lmfao

crusty finger boi
OKKOTSU TOLD GOJO TO SHIT HIS PANTS
IVE NEVER SEEN GOJO LOOK THAT FUCKIGN OFFENDEI M GONNA CRY LAGUHIGN
HELP PLEAS E ICANT DO THIS

dog days
WHAT

bi-ceps
Nobara’s sobbing tears of joy into her dinner
She said thank you

panda
I heard Itadori fall off the roof laughing so I’m assuming he’s on his way right now
If someone goes right now to hide Gojo’s pants, I’ll give you extra of your favorite food when Inumaki gets in.

dog days
on it

panda
Thanks, Fushiguro.

#hoes-mad

dog days
@bi-ceps the Kyoto gang’s here for a field trip
Mai’s talking shit again

hot girl summer
on way

dog days
I didn’t even tag you, Nobara

hot girl summer
this is the fight channel, megumi
I’m always down to throw hands with some bitch
also if yuuji had beef with some bitch, wouldn’t you go beat some ass too?

dog days
.
Fair enough

curse biter
rika wants to say that “you should kill her and string her entrails up on a flagpole at kyoto”
I…personally do not recommend that
I mean, you CAN,
but you can also just say that “at least maki has friends”???

hot girl summer
are you calling Zen’in Mai BITCHLESS????
bro
that’s such a good idea <333 FOR YOU MAKI MY BELOVED

bi-ceps
What the fuck
I’m
Thank you???

hot girl summer
<3333

panda
Oddly enough I know that’s not your first time calling someone bitchless.

crusty finger boi
YOUVE CALLED SOMEONE ELSE BITCHLESS?????
dude what the fuckkkkk
I mean,,,,yeah shit Okkotsu’s one of the ONLY ONES that technically has like. someone, I guess?
he can make bitchless jokes…

bi-ceps
He can make bitchless jokes and yet, he still is one of the most pathetic men I’ve ever met (affectionate)

curse biter
.

okaka man
(derogatory)

curse biter
fuck you

#rika-sighting

okaka man
rika sighting
yuuta and maki are training and she appeared bc he tripped over maki’s sword and let out a very high pitched yelp
she laughed at him and left

crusty finger boi
wasn’t Rika like, engaged to Okkotsu?? or is just mean flirting
I genuinely do not know

dog days
Suddenly all of my attempts make Sense now

crusty finger boi
huh

okaka man
lmao get fucked
well YEAH they were “engaged” for a bit but that’s kinda hard to fulfill when homegirl is literally dead
I have it on good authority tho that they’re homies now and rika is ALWAYS down to clown yuuta
we have that in common >:3c

curse biter
rika wants to say
no
.
hold onFUCK

okaka man
rika sighting
she copied my technique to use a damn megaphone
she called him a bitchless clown????
maki’s trying not to laugh
never mind she’s losing her shit

bi-ceps
Pausing training briefly to say that I’m glad Rika calmed down after the curse got “lifted”
Now she’s just vibing and helps us on certain occasions
Actually just go to #affection-check

#affection-check

bi-ceps
Rika manifested and told Toge and I, to our faces, that they both “missed us”
She did the drawn out “Yuutaaaaa” too lmfao
It was honestly really sweet btw

crusty finger boi
AWWWW

dog days
Aw
Okkotsu’s been home for five days and this is the first time I’ve seen some of us say something nice about him
He really can’t catch a break huh

bi-ceps
Look everyone else can sing his praises, I can at LEAST humble this mf
Then we’d have another Gojo on our hands and literally no one wants that
Yuuta pouted as he was walking away, coward

curse biter
I'm really not as bad as him i swear!!!!!
AND y’all humbled me when I got to tokyo anyways so im good on that end anyways, i can count on you guys to make sure i don't get an ego
I’m just glad you guys are all my friends <333

bi-ceps
Perish.

okaka man
loser

hot girl summer
lmao get fucked

curse biter
wow
sorry i’m not bitchless like the rest of you assholes
choke and die mad

crusty finger boi
WHAJKFAJKSF

panda
Maki and Toge put their phones down and immediately went sprinting after Yuuta.
…They’re ALL screaming and yelling at each other
Press F in the chat for Okkotsu Yuuta, who died as he lived, with people wanting to beat his ass
F

crusty finger boi
FFFFFFFF

hot girl summer
f <333

dog days
F
Gojo is also giving him an F from the roof (??)
Should be in #gojo-sighting but I’m lazy

panda
Toge just yelled at Yuuta to “trip on his shoelaces”
Andddd there they go
They’re sitting on him

bi-ceps
F. Fuck you Yuuta. (As affectionate as I can get, I guess)

okaka man
lmfao f but derogatory

curse biter
I fuckign hate ALL of you
…..F