Chapter Text
When Sungjoon opened his eyes, Sunghoon scrambled to get the doctors. Sunghoon was asked to leave the room along with the prison guard who decided it was time to leave the hospital. Returning back to his suffocating confinement, Sunghoon crouched on his bed, a heavy expression still plastered on his face. He would have preferred if he got to stay at the hospital a little while longer, and knew more from the doctors about Sungjoon's current condition.
“Wow, our sad lunatic looks alive today,” one of the other prisoner’s remarked.
Alive! I guess that is how he would look like to those around him. He was worrying for someone else. Audibly Sighing. Planning his next move to see his brother. Things he has not done in a very long while. How long has it been since he last felt like this? Felt alive! It is always Sungjoon that brings him back to life, whether in the past or even now. It is intriguing. Not even Yoon Jae had that kind of influence on him. When they were planning their revenge together, Sunghoon was technical about it…no emotions attached. But ever since they were young, Sungjoon sparked so many emotions within Sunghoon that even he did not realize. Whether it was guilt, worry, regret or anger, Sungjoon always managed to evoke an emotion within Sunghoon. It is almost as if…no, he can never admit that! Not after everything that happened!
The next day came. Sunghoon is looking alive again, now that he will finally see Sungjoon. When he reaches the hospital, he takes a deep breath. He is anxious. If Sungjoon is awake, what will he say to him? What can he say to him? It would be too awkward between them. He dismisses the thought. The important things is to see Sungjoon right now. The rest can be thought of later.
He finally enters the room, leaving the guard waiting at the door. He sighs the moment he steps into the room. Sungjoon is still attached to the same machines. He approaches the bed and his brother is sleeping. While the doctors did affirm that he woke up from his coma, it is expected that he would not regain full consciousness immediately, his body is still recovering from the dreadful accident.
Still Sunghoon had a tiny bit of hope that his brother would be awake and that he would get to talk to him or at least watch over him without all the machines surrounding him. He wanted to stop worrying about Sungjoon but as usual Sungjoon did not spare him that luxury. He looks at least a little less pale. With that one observation, Sunghoon’s face lit up. He took his seat beside Sungjoon, and took out the law code again, the updated version. Happy that he was able to get it from the prison library. The prison is not such a crappy place after all! He began reading the code in his usual tone. In the middle of his reading, he heard a slight rustling sound coming from the side of the bed. Looking up, he suddenly halted his movement, staring with eyes wide open when he noticed that Sungjoon’s eyes were open. Oh, he is awake! What should I do?
They both stayed staring at each other for sometime until Sunghoon finally placed his hand on top of Sungjoon’s and squeezed it tightly. He debated in his head whether he should do this or not. Such a display of affection was not something Sunghoon has ever done…with anybody. He is not sure how Sungjoon will respond to this. He might hate it! He might find it awkward and uncomfortable! But for once, Sunghoon’s conservative and negative personality did not win. He was following his heart for the first time.
“You fell chasing a suspect, Sungjoon. You have been in a coma since then. I heard about what happened to you from Jo Eunki. The accident, how you fell…She told me everything,” Sunghoon explained, guessing that there must be lots of gaps in Sungjoon's mind. “I wanted to see you so I asked the warden to let me visit you whenever I want”
Sunghoon eyed Sungjoon for any reaction from him, but there was none. He still had the oxygen mask on him, which could have prevented him from talking freely but even then, Sungjoon looked too quiet. He was looking at Sunghoon when he was speaking, and then averted his gaze after the explanation was over.
“Are you in pain?” Sunghoon asked worriedly. Maybe Sungjoon was in pain all along and Sunghoon did not notice.
“No!” Sungjoon replied firmly, voice loud and clear, negating all Sunghoon’s earlier assumptions about the oxygen mask preventing him from speaking.
“Do you want me to leave?” Sunghoon asked, suspecting that his presence was making it uncomfortable for Sungjoon. For him, Sungjoon will always be his brother but for Sungjoon, this might not be the same. Given everything he has done to Sungjoon, Sungjoon had every right to reject him. He did not have any right to force himself on Sungjoon like this.
“No!” Again Sungjoon's reply surprised Sunghoon. It is another firm No. Strangely enough as well, Sungjoon did not withdraw his hand from Sunghoon's palm. Sunghoon was confused but at least at ease that Sungjoon was not against him seeing him. The only thing he looked forward to these days was seeing Sungjoon. Without that, Sunghoon would be just a dead man walking, with no purpose, no friends, no family and no will to even keep going. Sunghoon happily held Sungjoon’s hand until the guard came to fetch him.
“I am coming back tomorrow,” Sunghoon promised before he left.
To Sungjoon, he was very much surprised by Sunghoon's soft and open manner of talking. He was displaying more affection towards him in those couple of minutes than he had received from him their entire lives. Did he have to be on his deathbed for Sunghoon to finally care for him? That one thought angered Sungjoon so much that he did not want to talk to or even look at Sunghoon. That's why he was silent the entire time. He really did not want him to leave but at the same time he couldn't forgive him for everything he had done. They would not have ended like this if it were for Sunghoon’s bloody vengeful plan.
Sungjoon closed his eyes, hoping tomorrow could come quicker so that he would see Sunghoon again. While things cannot go back to the way they used to be, Sungjoon had no choice but to accept Sunghoon for who he was. The part of him that had always yearned for Sunghoon still haunts him even after everything. He cannot control it. He really needs Sunghoon in his life whether he likes it or not.