Chapter Text
Adam taps his fingers not-nervously against the coffee table as the woman across from him glares. This was a pretty discrete coffee shop, and it had cute little nobodies with no life, so it was the perfect place to have unimportant conversations with unimportant exes who may or may not be capable of ruining his life.
Besides, Charlie was supposed to be out hugging koalas, so Eve would be busy with her.
“Stop that.” Lilith snaps as calmly as she can - which, to her full offense, was not very much. She sits stiff and straight, all formal and prissy as he always remembers her to be - it would be respectable, regal even, if he didn’t already have centuries of bad blood between them. Her eye occasionally gives an impatient twitch. “Be an adult.”
“Okay.” Adam nods with a straight face, holding up his middle finger and pointedly tapping it louder.
Lilith suddenly slams her hands over his own to still them, and Adam frowns at the force more than the action - he sometimes did forget that they had been created alongside each other with ‘matching’ sizes.
“Why is my daughter at your house? Why is my ex-husband spamming my phone with messages and calls when we’ve been peacefully apart- don’t roll your eyes at me !” Adam dodges the straw thrown in his direction - weak , he bets he can get her straight in the eye with that aim. Lilith continues her interrogation, and he slowly sinks back as she steadily leans forward with every urgent question. “Why are you and your wife making deals with Sera to keep her here for a whole week? Why are you ignoring Lucifer’s calls?”
Adam takes a deep breath, mind racing to think of ways this could end with his head on his shoulders. It did that a lot ever since Charlie stepped foot into his life. He was doing fucking fine three days ago. “The short answer is because my wife is an angel and your husband isn’t.”
Lilith raises an eyebrow, apparently considering his words - which, from experience, either meant he said something severely smart or severely dumb. “Do I want to hear the long answer?”
“The long answer is because I’m not her parent and you are.”
“That’s not-” Lilith begins, but her lips quiver and her eyes soften, and her hands tremble in a rare show of vulnerability as they cover her mouth, and ohh, she’s not going to cry, is she? Mortified, Adam frantically looks around to make sure no one is watching, already regretting what he was about to do.
“There, there.” His hand feels awkward, heavy and misplaced on her shoulder as he pats her. “It’s okay. I get it. Kids can be little shits sometimes.” Not even to make him cry, because he’s the bigger shit and he makes sure they know it, but yes.
Lilith swats his hand away, glaring vehemently. “Shut up. Charlie is fucking perfect.” She spits out, and well, okay, rude . Though at this point, it doesn’t surprise him.
“Yeah. I know.” He agrees. Charlie is the closest thing to an angel in that hellhole.
Great, here he was getting secretly sentimental with his ex-wife over the child he stole from her ex-husband - the child who, currently, was hogging his traumatized wife heedless of what was going on.
Reminder that this is still all Charlie’s fault.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She’s supposed to stay there, with her father, in our kingdom.” Lilith insists, shaky voice beginning to steady and sobs starting to quieten as she sucks in a worried breath and wipes at her face quickly. “She’s supposed to stay safe and happy.”
“Safe.” He clarifies with a straight face. “In that cesspool of murderers, rapists, thieves, overlords and addicts.”
Lilith nods, irony apparently lost on her. “Safe in our small corner of Hell, with her father’s protection spells and our hotel, where none of that rampant sin could touch her. Safe from this world of hypocrites parading around virtues by walking over the blood of our people. From having her freedoms restricted.” She clarifies, because wow, that is so clear now!
“You-” Adam sighs, rubbing his face tiredly. “Wait, are you mad I brought her here or -”
More straws graze his ears. He’s going to have to talk to Sera about how suspiciously sharp those are. “Of course I’m mad you brought her! If she was ever to come, she was supposed to see Heaven with me , once I got to explain everything to her. Not gallivanting with my ex and his wife in your-” Lilith pauses, waving a finger to find the right words - “stupid little fratboy… murder chamber -”
“Hey! My house is fucking amazing! Charlie loves my albums!” Adam defends with honor.
“That’s only because she likes mine!”
“Doesn’t matter. No one forgets the guy who taught you how to play Bohemian Rhapsody on a guitar.” There was no denial of the truth.
“Adam.” She slams her hands resolutely against the table, as though he’s some dog who’s gonna stand to attention at her words. Which…isn’t such a bad idea, considering the kind of guys she’s into, but lucky for him, he’s married and he has more self-respect than that! “You had your chance with your kids. Lay off of mine.” His stomach sinks as does the cold air. “Is it so much, even now after all this time, to ask that you don’t interfere with my life when I tried my best to stay out of yours?”
He pauses, considering his next move. “Do you love the kid?”
Lilith freezes, looking at him as though he’d grown a second head. Adam fidgets. You can’t die a second time. You can’t die a second time . “Of course I love her.” She declares, as though flabbergasted why he would even question it.
His voice is quiet, uncharacteristically unsure. He doesn’t like feeling this way. “Then…why did you hurt her?”
Her jaw clenches. Wrong move. “You are not telling me that I hurt my daughter. I never hurt her.” Panic sets in her features, splintering her words. “You weren’t there. Lucifer and I - we had no one . We have Charlie everything we possibly could. A whole palace, the entire family fortune. We doted on her and spent all our time-”
“I am not questioning-” Adam holds up a hand, feeling older than he should. All Lucifer’s fault , he reminds to soothe himself. All his fucking fault. “That you’re loaded and smart as hell. I’m questioning why you didn’t answer her calls for the past seven years. Why she thinks she needs validation from random people she just met and easily bows over to avoid confrontation. Why she panics at the word ‘divorce’ and worries about being disliked. That’s not normal.”
What Adam means to ask, really, is ‘ Do you know how fucking deeply you guys hurt her? ’ He has seen the signs. He has been with kids before - his own, his kids’ kids, random heavenborn.
He worries he’d let that traitorous, protective anger show and rile her up in the process - he doesn’t really care that much about Charlie, but what amount was too much, for the girl who so easily trusted him and listened to their tales, who sympathized with them and had fun in their simple company? Who was somehow so much like her parents and yet nothing like her parents? Whose potential was overlooked and whose sweet nature was taken advantage of, mocked in the so-called ‘home’ her parents made for her?
“She-” Lilith hesitates, eyes crinkling in thought. “I am aware Charlie has some…tendencies she needs to outgrow. But she’s a headstrong, sensible young woman, and I trust she can work on her issues. She needs to learn she doesn’t need that validation.”
“By being denied validation? She’s still your kid. Grown, yeah, but your kid. It wouldn’t kill you to call her once in a while or share some stupid boring old lady tales for wisdom, you know?”
“Oh, like you do with your kids?” She narrows her eyes in judgment, and he stammers in defense, holding up his hands.
“In all fairness, after the first few dinners, Eve told me I should maybe stick to just the presents and musical cards.” Conversation was never his strong suit, and he felt it only soured some kids to him.
“Conversation was never your strong suit.” Lilith agrees, like she still has a soul. He chuckles for the first time. She sighs and sits back in her chair. “I never really knew what to say to her, after I split with her father. And how I could explain to her me coming…here, with you, after everything that happened. What could I possibly tell her?”
Adam’s face twists. Yeah, that…that would be a messy topic to approach.
“Something other than stone cold silence, for a change?” He suggests, and to his surprise, she doesn’t punt the rest of the straws at him. Score .
“She’s my firstborn, my only child. I love her more than anything in this universe. I just-” Lilith sucks in a deep breath. “It’s hard, you know? Figuring out how much soft and tough love they need, how to balance their needs and wants, the experience they need and the comfort they deserve. I can’t tell her every reason I haven’t been there. It’s…too complicated. Especially after I broke that vision of a perfect happy family for her.” Lilith bows her head, saddened frown deepening.
Adam blinks back owlishly, unwanted memories flooding his mind as new, heavy guilt wracks his being. He swallows down his drink quickly, heart hammering in his chest. He’d talked too much. Stupid, stupid things happened when he talked too much.
“...Even so, you did a great job. Before you left, anyway.” He mutters, relents begrudgingly. He doesn’t think it so selfish, now, to want to run away from the picture-perfect family, no matter how much he loved them. “You didn’t break anything. You were happy without Lucifer before. You can be happy with her again.”
Lilith’s eyes light up with familiar hope, and for a moment, they’re young and free in Eden again - free from the responsibilities and guilt of family life, but naive to the joys it brang, the bonds forged through hardship and lessons learned on the way. The thanks is unspoken and hangs heavy in the still air between them.
…Fuck it, he’s going to go back home and sleep the way he should have had Eve not dragged him out of bed that morning for the meeting he, in all fairness, had agreed to.
Huh . Adam blinks in realization. So really, this was all Eve’s fault. He knew he should have just kissed the bitch and lied about the date. The things he did for that woman.
“You know…I’m actually glad that of all the people she ran into for that meeting, it was you and Eve. And of all the people she could have met in heaven, she met you both first.” Lilith speaks slowly, as though turning the words in her head.
“Uhm…why?” He asks, dumfounded. Just a minute ago, she was ranting about how much of an egocentric psychopath he was. He perks up. Maybe she was going to praise him for the first time.
“Don’t get me wrong, you’re an egocentric psychopath with the IQ of a pigeon.” Lilith remarks, and he seethes at the ruined moment. “But you’re…honest, and I think she needed that.”
Honest . Adam scowls. Not - roguishly handsome or fuckable or hella smart or any of the other adjectives she could have used. No, he was just honest .
…He’ll take that.
“Tell Eve I said hello.” Lilith then smiles a shit-eating grin, leaning forward knowingly as she puts the bill on the table. “In fact, give her a kiss from me.”
“You can leave now.” He informs her, deadpanned. It’s like she didn’t even remember she was only here because of their deal.
She laughs, throwing her head back and suddenly seeming ten years younger as she walked out. Which wasn’t very much considering how long they’d both been alive, but still.
Adam stares at the bill on the table she left, groaning in realization. Why did this always happen to him? He’s distracted from his phone buzzing, and he raises an eyebrow at the new text from Eve. Come home quick .
…
He can’t walk into his own damn home for two seconds without being attacked. Out of nowhere, the little demon princess bangs into him, winds her arms around his waist (as best as she can, anyway) and screams so loud his ears ring.
Alarmed, he instantly puts a hand on her back - he wasn’t gonna instinctively throw her, he wasn’t , he just has bad experiences being suddenly hugged and then nearly killed by creatures much smaller than him (cough cough, Lute).
Charlie waves her phone in his face, smile so wide he fears her face would break and cheeks red with tears. “It’s her! It’s my mom! She finally texted!”
He freezes. He knows he’s a horrible actor, but he pretends to look surprised nonetheless. “Whaaaat. Noooo.”
Thankfully, Charlie doesn’t ruminate his expression. Eve comes running after her shortly, smile equally wide in anticipation as she crowds her and holds her arms like they’re girlfriends catching up after eternity.
“Don’t keep me in suspense! What did she say?”
As Charlie launches into a spiel and scrolls through her phone animatedly, showing Eve and detailing everything, Adam valiantly fights off a fond smile and holds his hand against his face. Lilith didn’t explain everything, still hadn’t revealed that she still intended to stay in Heaven…but she had apparently said enough to let Charlie know she was inching back into her life.
Adam’s fingers itch at the overload of sentimentality. If he doesn’t kill something soon, he’s going to die. Eve is going to have to bury his remains again, and sob her stupid beautiful heart out, then get swept off her feet by the next handsome angel in line.
…Actually, just the thought of that makes him want to strongarm this out of spite. The day he somehow dies again is the day he fistfights God to be with Eve again.
Speaking of death, he really needed to bring up the topic of the moved up Extermination date soon-
Wait .
“Adam. Adam! What are you doing, just standing there?” Charlie’s voice jars him back to reality.
Adam stares back, not having kept up with their conversation as the realization hits him with full force. Fuck. The Extermination . The moved up date. The entire fucking point of the meeting they had wasted pitying the hellspawn and deterred figuring out how to smuggle her into Heaven. The hellspawn he had to break the news to…news that would probably break her, after all that time they had spent together.
Eve watches him knowingly, shaking her head. “Giving himself an aneurysm over something stupid, probably.” She grabs Charlie’s arm, fighting off sadness from her voice. “So are we doing one last celebratory ice cream round before you go?”
Eve-
Eve knew about the moved up date. She had agreed to attend the meeting after finding out Charlie would be there. She knew they had to tell Charlie, so why-
Eve meets his eyes - cautious, as though gauging whether he was going to do it after all. He narrows his own.
She did it on purpose .
That bitch.
She knew he would get attached like he did. She knew he wouldn’t have the fun of breaking the news to her and shattering her resolve if he sympathized with her.
…And yet, Adam can’t bring himself to be angry.
Stunned, he looks away as slow guilt crawls up his gut. This would have been much easier if he didn’t know Charlie - if he hadn’t just cuddled with her and Eve, if he hadn’t just talked to her mother about parenting, if he hadn’t been constantly cursing her father for existing and fuming at the way she finished his lyrics and ranted about koalas.
He only hugs Charlie back as she denies the ice cream and thanks them profusely, tearfully hugging Eve and promising a return as she planned fervently for the next few weeks updating her hotel and catching up with her mother via phone.
“Thank you so much.” Charlie gushes. “These past few days have been…the most fun I’ve had in ages.” Her face softens, and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I really hope we can meet again?”
“Charlie, you are always welcome here.” Eve assures without his permission before he can speak, because when has she ever asked? “I look forward to meeting you again about your idea as well. Perhaps we’ll get to meet some real scholars this time.”
Adam shrugs when she sends him an accusing look. How was he supposed to know that man wasn’t legitimate? He didn’t frequent Heaven purposely looking for conversation?
“And Adam-” Adam stiffens as Charlie looks at him with renewed trust. He should feel fulfilled, maybe even proud - he had a hand to play in her happiness, after all - but he only feels…oddly empty at the idea of her no longer invading his privacy and hogging his wife. “It was…weirdly nice to know more about you. You’re different from what I’d thought you’d be.”
Was that a compliment? Adam blinks back in confusion, before Eve elbows him and he realizes he’s supposed to say something back. “Uh…you too? Stay cool, kiddo.” He manages, tightly smiling as he ruffles her undone hair - it’s a shame she had to lose the pigtails, but he supposes she’s not-child enough to make those choices.
“What? No talk about moving up the Exterminations?” Eve asks innocently as they draw up the portal and waves back at Charlie from the distance.
He sends her a short-lived glare. “No talk about stabbing your husband in the back?”
“Delaying murder does not a backstabber make.” Eve simply answers, confused at her own wording. “Is…am I saying that right?”
“I wouldn’t know. Because I’m a super loyal, non-lying husband.” Adam brags.
“You need therapy, asshole.” Eve kindly informs him, bumping their arms and linking them together as they watch Charlie leave - not like proud parents bidding their kid goodbye, no, just two relieved babysitters done with their shift, or like - really, really weird distant relatives after a one-time visit with the kid they never knew was related to them.
The portal dissipates and Charlie disappears. The silence is lonely, cold and heavy. Eve’s hands tremble as her hands cover her mouth.
“You need a new husband, bitch.” Adam grumbles back, turning his head to press his lips against her cheek before she moves to lock their lips and he cradles her face. He feels and fears, for the most frightening moment, the idea of her parting away like Lilith and Lucifer did - of them drifting apart now that they no longer cared for a child together. But he supposes no one really brought them together the way children had - be it their own or other people’s.
Was it normal - to feel guilty about murder when he remembered having a kid?
“Hey.” Eve’s sad eyes flit to his own as he pulls away, and he swallows with dread. “I meant what I said about visiting the kids. I know this is hard on you and…it’s hard on me too. Maybe we can wait on the Exterminations and…make up for lost time?”
Fuck, he would die all over again just to see her smile like that again - her face aglow, her eyes sparkling with refused warmth and hope. His lovely wife rewards him by nearly choking him with the crushing hug around his neck and ruining his favorite shirt with her tears.
Soon, he’d have to face Sera again, and calm whatever diplomatic riffs he had single-handedly torn in the angelic court in his two-second call with Lucifer. Soon, he’d meet Lute to discuss if they were even going through with the moved up Extermination date and the news of the dead Exorcist. Soon, he’d retire to bed sleepless yet again and stew over a new night’s worth of regrets and questions about their existence.
For now, however, he had kids to visit and a wife to take to therapy.
Because he’s a fantastic husband, and not at all a father, and they definitely weren’t seeing Charlie again or questioning his morality or making him come to terms with the parenthood he had abandoned and gladly abandon again. It wasn't his problem that Charlie was probably going to embark on some life-changing journey to become a strong-willed leader who didn't need validation and cuddles, and he definitely did not care if she ever spammed his phone with stupid little pictures or advice about things he had no business advising.
“Adam.” Eve warns. “Please don’t be weird and do that thing you do when you- ah, fuck.”
Adam closes his eyes, dramatically opening his arms to the skies as Eve rolls her eyes. Father or not, he is ready to take the challenges to come in stride. “Bring it on.”