Chapter Text
The room fills with the sounds of their desperate gasps and pleasurable moans. Connor whimpers softly into his mouth. A bit more force and he’s awarded with a cry torn from the man’s throat. H e swallows every breath of it. There’s no space between them, not even an inch. Their lips have been attached since the start, unwilling to be parted, as Oliver buries himself in Connor’s heat, again and again. His head spins, but all he can focus on is the pleasure, the feeling, and the taste. It overwhelms him and he swims in it.
Connor’s eyes are glassy with lust. He tightens his thighs around the other man and arches beneath him, pressing their bodies even tighter together. His nails scrape deep, red scratches along Oliver’s back. They radiate heat, lust, and desire. It rolls off of one and onto the other.
They fuck like dying men starved for air, and the other is their salvation.
Oliver blinks when he’s suddenly shaken out of his trance. Startled, he sits up slightly in his seat. But thankfully, the teacher doesn’t seem to notice. In the time that he zoned out, the topic had changed from limits of a function to some strange, unfamiliar mathematical gibberish that he no longer understands. He looks down embarrassingly at his blank page of notes. If he fails calculus, at least he’ll have Connor Walsh to blame for it.
Speaking of, he slowly takes his phone out of his pocket and attempts to discretely glance at the screen. Unsurprisingly, it was another text from Connor that had distracted him from his distraction.
Hey, can we talk after school today? You’ve been avoiding me.
Oliver sighs softly and shuts the screen off without responding. Even without turning around, he can feel Connor’s eyes on him.
It’s been three days since the morning they woke up together, naked, hungover, and sore. Memories of the previous night were barely there. But enough to piece together what had happened. Something that would forever change their friendship, though neither of them wants it to.
More memories returned in the following days, as Oliver stubbornly ignored Connor’s calls and texts. He even went to great lengths to avoid him in school for an entire day. Clearly Connor is sick of it.
But he just can’t face him yet. Not when the simple thought of the man brings back a flash of that night. Connor’s head thrown back in the midst of their passion, lips parted in pleasure for a mere second before Oliver’s covering them with his own again.
Oliver closes his eyes and groans silently to himself. He’s utterly unable to pay attention to the lecture. And honestly, just being in the same room as Connor is enough to give him anxiety.
Which is why when class is over, he scrambles to the door, thankful that Connor sits two rows behind him, and three seats over.
It’s probably immature of him, but he doesn’t care. He can’t face Connor. Not yet. But the choice is taken from him at the end of the day, when he gets off the bus, walks up to his house, and sees Connor’s car parked in his driveway.
His heart sinks in his chest as he watches Connor climb out of his car. The man’s expression is unreadable. But he sees a hint of annoyance, anger, and… desperation maybe?
“Oliver!”
“He-hey,” he stutters as he walks up his driveway. Adamantly, he refuses to make eye contact, and pretends to fumble for his keys, instead. “What’s up?”
“We need to talk.”
“What about?” He asks, and tries to ignore the fact that his voice is way higher than it should be.
“You’re avoiding me,” Connor says flatly, as he follows him to the front door. “Because of Friday night. Because… because we slept together,” he says softly.
“I thought we were pretending that never happened,” Oliver mutters as he opens the door. Connor follows him inside before he can protest.
“Yeah, well it’s not exactly like things are back to normal. You’re not talking to me, you’re avoiding me, you–hey!” Connor grabs his arm as he tries to walk away. “You won’t even look at me! Oliver!”
Oliver pulls his arm out of the other man’s grasp. He doesn’t want to run away, but he dreads facing Connor again. It’s hard enough spending the majority of his adolescent years in love with his best friend. But now, after having a taste of what it could be like, now he wants it so much more.
He sighs softly, and tells himself to just get it over with. Just get over it.
He finally looks up at Connor. The man looks… sad… dejected, and a little bit hurt. It’s not a look he’s used to seeing on the confident man.
He feels a twinge of guilt in his gut.
“Ollie… It’s weird between us,” Connor whispers. “And awkward, and… I hate this. You’re the only person I’ve ever been able to depend on. And this… I–I can’t deal with this.”
Oliver swallows silently and looks down at his feet.
“I’m sorry that it happened,” Connor continues softly. “We both drank way, way too much. We weren’t thinking right, and it–it doesn’t have to affect us if we don’t let it. Please, Ollie… I’m so sorry. Can we just go back to the way things were?”
Oliver still stares at his shoes. He takes a breath and lets it out slowly, and gives a small shake of his head, which Connor probably takes the wrong way. “I’m not sorry,” he whispers.
“What?”
“I’m not sorry,” he repeats. “I’m not sorry that it happened.” They watch each other silently for a moment, Connor confused and Oliver not knowing how to say exactly how he feels. He’d kept it all bottle inside for so long, this is untrodden territory for him.
“Connor, I… I’ve been dreaming about that moment since… probably since I was fourteen. Maybe even earlier. I’ve wanted you for longer than I can remember.”
Connor’s lips slowly fall open as he stares in shock. But he doesn’t say anything, and Oliver figures it’s best to get it all out in the open anyway. Like ripping off a bandaid.
“Like… before I saw my first porno, before I saw you take our neighbor Cole into your backyard and fool around with him, before they explained in our sixth grade health class how sex even works, I’ve wanted you. I–I never imagined it would happen like this. And it was my first time, I–I had always hoped–dreamed it would be you… not in those circumstances, of course. But–”
“That was your first time?” Connor interrupts him.
Oliver fights the urge to roll his eyes. “Connor, you know everything about me. You know that was my first time.”
The barest hint of a smile spreads on Connor’s lips. “Was it good?” He asks softly.
Oliver groans. “What I remember of it was… very good.”
“Do you want to do it again?”
Oliver glares at him. “Don’t joke.”
Connor chews his lower lip between his teeth, a clear sign that he’s nervous. The expression on his face is unreadable. He licks his lips and Oliver tries to ignore the motion the best he can. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Oliver chuckles sardonically. “Come on… look at you, Connor. You can get any guy you want. You do get any guy you want.” He shakes his head sadly. “Why would you ever go for me? And I didn’t want to risk our friendship. I mean… you’re my best friend. I–I wasn’t going to risk that. And now, that might be ruined anyway.”
“Ollie…” Connor whispers. “You’re such an idiot…”
Oliver stares at him. He just poured his heart out, he wasn’t expecting to be insulted. “What?”
Connor chuckles gently. “We’re both such idiots… You’re in love with me,” he says softly.
Oliver shifts awkwardly in his spot. He hadn’t wanted to use the L-word, but yeah, he’s in love with Connor. There’s really no reason for the other man to rub it in like that.
“I’m in love with you too.”
Oliver’s head snaps up. There’s no way he heard that right. “What?!”
“I’m in love with you too. I have been for years,” he says softly as he takes a hesitant step forward. “Since I first knew that I liked guys.”
Oliver stares in shock, shaking slightly, because this just can’t be real. This is something he’d imagined in his head, something he’d only ever dreamed of.
“I never made a move because… you’re too good for me. And I’ve always known that. I’ve never deserved your friendship. I’ve never deserved you. And it always made me really sad,” he says softly. “And when I’m sad… I look for random guys to hook up with. Because for just that moment, it makes me feel better. But I always left them feeling worse than before.”
“Connor…” Oliver watches him, aghast. How could they have both been so stupid? He slowly steps forward, and reaches up to cup Connor’s face in his hands. He’s still at a loss for words.
“I never wanted any of them,” Connor says in a quivering voice, shaking his head. “I never go back, I never call, because I don’t want them. I want you.”
Oliver smiles sadly. “It always broke my heart every time you hooked up with some random, gorgeous, hot guy that you never speak to again.” He looks deeply into Connor’s eyes, and he feels the other man’s fingers tugging on the hem of his t-shirt. “I don’t want that. I don’t want that to be what this is. I want you, all of you. And I’m not into sharing, Connor.”
Connor laughs softly. “Are you kidding me? It’s always been you, Ollie. Always.”
Oliver closes the distance between them, capturing Connor’s soft lips with his own. He’ll remember every detail of this kiss for the rest of his life. It’s sweet, gentle, and loving, without the desperation of their drunken, lustful night, but with all of the tenderness and affection they feel for each other.
“So… are we boyfriends?” Oliver whispers against his lips.
He feels Connor smile against him, and he gives a small nod of his head. “Yeah,” he murmurs.
“I can’t believe we were idiots for so long.”
Connor chuckles in his arms. “Yeah, we deserve each other,” he says jokingly.
Oliver smiles as he watches him. He still can’t quite believe it. It almost still feels like a dream. But this is everything that he’s ever wanted, for as long as he can remember. “I love you, Connor.”
Connor grins widely. “I’m no expert at relationships, but usually you’re supposed to date for a while, before you say ‘I love you’.”
He tightens his arms around the other man, as Connor smiles warmly at him. “I guess we’ve never really been very conventional.”
Connor laughs softly. He only hesitates for a second, “I love you too, Ollie.”