Chapter Text
A few days after the extermination...
"Ow ow be careful!" Sir Pentious winced, hissing in pain as he jerked back when his minion pressed the ice pack too hard against his swollen eye. "Can't you even do a simple task right!?!" He growled, scowling at the little egg.
"Sorry boss!"
The man snatched the ice pack from his hands with a huff. "Just give me that! I'll do it myself!" He snapped at the cowering egg. "You all are useless!"
The man was in a sour mood, having been defeated by the radio demon yet again. It wasn't just the loss that had him seething, but the fact that he didn't even seem like he was trying! It was like a walk in the park for him!
It was humiliating. Regardless, he refused to give up!!
"Here's your tea boss!"
Sir Pentious grumbled out a quick thanks as his minion placed a steaming cup of tea in front of him. He brought the cup to his lips, blowing on it before taking a sip. Slowly, his muscles began to relax, and his previously tense expression softened as he let out a contented sigh.
A hot cup of tea always managed to help calm his nerves.
"BOSS BOSS BOOOSS!!"
The scream startled the man, making him nearly choke on his tea as Frank burst into the room, waving his hands frantically and screaming at the top of his lungs.
Of course, he couldn't enjoy a simple cup of tea in peace without being disturbed.
Sitting the cup down, his eyes narrowed in irritation as he glared at the little bastard. "WHAT??! Did you break your toy again?"
Frank shook his head, pointing. "There's someone outside!! They're knocking non-stop!"
He was taken aback.
What?
Who could it be?
He thought of that Cherri girl at first, but dismissed the thought quickly; if it was her, she would simply throw bombs at his windows and break in like usual.
Grumbling, he put down the cup, got up from his seat, and marched towards the entrance. He pressed the button and the door opened.
"Who dares disturb the great Sir Pentious-!!"
"It's me."
!?
Standing there holding a bag in one hand while Scramble was secured in the baby carrier wrapped around your chest, you watched with a poker face as the man backed up in fear. "W-what are you doing here!?" He demanded, his eyes widened in confusion and alarm.
All that tough demeanor went puff upon seeing you and not a random weak sinner.
Did you come to finish the job!? But he thought you two had a deal!
You looked different as well...why do you have a tail!?
"The extermination is already over; you can't harm me! Besides we had a deal!!"
You snorted at his words. "Relax, I'm not here for that." You assured him, then looked down with a smile and spoke with a sweet tone. "Say hi Scramble."
The small, adorable creature wearing a chicken onesie happily obliged as he waved eagerly with a wide smile. "Hello!"
Sir Pentious blinked; he relaxed a bit, but he still eyed you with wary suspicion. "Then... why are you here?" He repeated, still sounding hesitant but not as hostile as before.
You shrugged nonchalantly, gently petting the small creature strapped to your chest. "Scramble missed the other eggs and wanted to play with them again, he wouldn't stop sulking until I brought him here."
Oh.
You eyed the man, taking note of the black eye and various bruises he had and asked. "Mind if I come in? or did I come at a bad time?"
"O-oh, uh come in come in!"
You thanked him as you glided in, the minions rushed over to greet you.
"Ooo she has a tail like boss!"
"You look super pretty boss lady!'
"HIII!!"
"Scramble and the boss's wife are back!" Sir Pentious screamed internally when he said that.
Wife?
"Sweety I'm not his wife."
Frank looked confused. "But his journal had-"
Sir Pentious swung his tail with force, swatting the egg in the head. He quickly bent down and covered his mouth to prevent him from exposing him further. " He's mistaken you for another woman! C-Cherri! not you!" He explained in a strained, panicked voice.
You tilted your head. "Cherri..?"
Sir Pentious stumbled over his words as he tried to come up with a convincing explanation. "Y-yeah! She's my girlfriend, but she rarely visits! Those dumb vermins always mistake other people for her due to their short-term memory!"
Oh, alright.
You believed it since even Scramble himself is a bit...slow in the head and forgets things easily.
You nodded. "Noted."
Scramble kicked his feet. "I want cookies please!"
"Ok."
Luckily, you packed some for the trip in case he got hungry. Rifling through the bag, you pulled out the sack containing the cookies, opening it.
You paused upon seeing that the sack was empty, only crumbs remained.
.....
"Scramble..."
"I was hungry!" The egg pouted, looking down in shame. He didn't like it when you used that tone. "I'm sorry..."
You stared at him for a few seconds with a stern look before pinching the bridge of your nose. You can never stay angry at him for long.
"It's fine, but do it again without asking and you're grounded." You said sternly before turning to the serpent. "If it's not too much trouble..can I use your kitchen for a bit? I'll pay you back for all the ingredients I'll use."
Sir Pentious, still covering the struggling egg's mouth, eagerly nodded. "Of course! Walk down the hall and turn two right; you can't miss it!"
You expressed your gratitude once again before picking up Scramble from the baby carrier and placing him on the ground so he could go play with the others.
"Be careful now; your shell is fragile. We don't want another accident now, do we?"
"Ok!"
With that, you left to go to the kitchen. The man was about to follow you when one of his minions tapped on his tail with tears in his eyes, sobbing while he held out a toy that was missing its lower half.
"I broke my toy..."
......
꒰꒰・──・──・──・・ 𓎥 ・・──・── ・──・ ꒱꒱
HERE! Run along now!" Sir Pentious said, handing the egg the toy.
"Thank you boss!"
The serpent crept towards the kitchen, slithering as quietly as possible to avoid making any sound. As he reached the small opening, his tail swayed anxiously as he peeked inside to see what was going on.
There you were.
You stood there, wearing one of his aprons decorated with the words 'Hiss the Chef' embroidered in red thread. You were adding chocolate chips to the dough, skillfully stirring it with a big smile on your face, all the while humming a tune and tapping your tails fin to its beat, your bag sitting on one of the kitchen chairs.
You looked so peaceful...
He felt his heart beat faster as he leaned closer to the crack in the door, too distracted to realize that it made a sound.
"Do you need something, or are you just planning to stand there like a creep?"
“GAH!”
He fell through the door, crashing onto the kitchen floor with a thump. His hat flew off his head, landing in the middle of the room next to you with a soft clatter.
......
Slowly, the serpent raised his head and was met with your amused expression.
He immediately got off the floor, his face as red as a tomato. “I- I- uhm-“ He stuttered and fumbled over his words.
"You, you?" You asked with a mocking tone as you placed the bowl in the fridge to chill.
“Do you mind if I..help you?” He inquired, tilting his head to the side.
You paused.
Was he seriously giving you puppy dog eyes?
...It was kind of cute.
Scratch that; it was super adorable.
You were already done; you only needed to wait for the dough to chill for a few hours before putting the pieces in the oven.
Eh, no harm in making more cookies.
You bent down to pick up his hat from the floor, and as you handed it back to him, you asked, "If you want, are the eggs distracted?"
As everyone knows, baking cookies required eggs, and you didn't want the little guys to see them..well crack them open.
You didn't even have the heart to tell Scramble how omelettes are made after he took a bite when you weren't looking.
...It became his favourite meal.
Sir Pentious's face lit up. "Yess yesss, they are playing in the living room! They won't be a bother at all!"
"Alright then, go wash your hands then.."
He listened, putting on an apron and doing everything you asked of him with precision and speed. Every once in a while, his tail would graze against your; he was standing quite close to you as well, which you didn't mind.
He was enjoying just being near you.
It was a peaceful atmosphere, until you decided to ask something.
"So, what happened to you?"
That caught him off guard.
“Pardon?”
You gestured to his bruises. "Is it that Alastor guy?"
Alastor...
He puffed out his chest in fake pride while adding a spoonful of espresso powder to the mix as he boasted. " Yess, we had a long battle, but I was victorious! That pathetic demon was no match for the great and powerful Sir Pentious!”
Of course he was not going to admit he got his ass beat. He hoped you would buy the facade and that you wouldn’t pry further.
Luckily for him, you just giggled as you handed him two eggs. "You must be powerful then."
The serpent felt the tip of his tail wave back and forth like a puppy at the praise as he let out a laugh while cracking one open. "Of course my dear! Im the greatest inventor in all of hell after all!"
And the one madly in love with you, he thought.
Unaware that one of the eggs stood in the doorway of the kitchen with another broken toy in his hand, he watched in horror as his boss gently tapped the egg against the rim of a bowl, breaking it in half, separating the yolk and adding it to the bowl.
..... MURDER!!
The egg scurried away to find his brothers and warn them.
꒰꒰・──・──・──・・ 𓎥 ・・──・── ・──・ ꒱꒱
"Annd done!" You exclaimed as you placed the tray full of fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies on the counter and removed the gloves. The wonderful aroma filled the room. "Thank you for the help."
"No problem! It was my pleasure."
Taking off the apron, you called out to the boys.
"The cookies are ready!"
.......
Huh?
You two turned to each other, surprised that those hungry monsters didn't come running for snacks.
"MINIONS!! Come here this instant!!"
.......
“That isss odd…" He muttered, looking puzzled.
"Let's go to the living room; they might just be taking a nap; it's been hours after all." You said, going down the hall. "Where is it anyway?"
Upon seeing where you were heading, Sir Pentious froze up, remembering the numerous sketches and plushies he made of you after the...
A wave of panic washed over him, knowing that you were about to find out about his secret crush on you.
HE ABSOLUTELY CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN!!
He frantically dashed past you, when he reached the room, he started yanking at the sketches and plushies, shoving them behind the couch.
You arrived just as he hid the last sketch; his head snapped to you. "Ah..!" He blurted out, his heart racing. "They're not here; let's check elsewhere..! They.. they must be somewhere else..!"
You noticed the panic and desperation in Sir Pentious's voice as he spoke. He seemed unusually anxious as he hustled you out of the room. "We'll split up to cover more rooms faster! You look this way I'll look that way! We must find them..!"
Wow, he must care deeply about those little guys.
In truth, he has some more detailed...mature artworks in several rooms, so he sent you the other way so he can go and hide them all and at the same time look for those little bastards.
Those fried chicken fetuses are in so much trouble!!!!
꒰꒰・──・──・──・・ 𓎥 ・・──・── ・──・ ꒱꒱
You looked everywhere for them until you found two of them hiding behind an armchair, hugging each other while shaking in fear.
You moved the chair out of the way and kneeled down, making them back themselves into the wall even more and trying to make themselves as small as possible. "What's the matter?" You asked, with concern in your voice.
"D-Dead...dead brother!"
Huh?
You were starting to panic now. "What are you talking about? Did something happen? Tell me!"
The other egg sobbed. "We saw boss crack one of us!!!"
Ok, you are super confused now. "What? No he didn't- Oooooooh..."
You should have locked that damn door.
꒰꒰・──・──・──・・ 𓎥 ・・──・── ・──・ ꒱꒱
"I wanna try some of that soup!" Scramble exclaimed, pointing to the TV with his mouth watering.
"I'll make it when we get home."
"Yay!" he cheered, clapping his hands together.
"Aww, I want some too..."
After finding all of the eggs and explaining the difference between them and normal eggs, they finally calmed down and hugged their boss after he apologized for scaring them like that. It was such a heartwarming moment that you, of course, couldn't resist capturing a picture of.
You were all sitting in the living room together, the eggs snuggling with you two while watching Ratatouille and munching on the cookies and popcorn you made. Each egg was dressed in a different onesie you brought with you.
You definitely didn't take millions of photos and put it as your phone screen, nope.
"Isn't it cannibalism?" One wondered, staring at the cookie in his hand.
"Yes-"
"No, no it isn't." You swiftly interrupted him, shooting the serpent a warning glare.
The egg seemed to accept the answer and took a bite. "Oh ok!"
The serpent shifted on the sofa, trying to make himself more comfortable; the tip of his tail tapped restlessly on the ground; his tongue occasionally flickered out of his mouth; and his cheeks were a light tint of crimson as he flicked a nervous glance in your direction.
Gone were the wings and halo, like a real mermaid. Your legs were now a shimmering tail adorned with golden bracelets where the fin and scales met, you wore some on your wrists as well. Your neck was enveloped with gills, and your ears were replaced with delicate fins. Your eyes, which were now solely irises, were still as captivating as ever.
Despite the transformation, you retained your angelic beauty, and if anything, you appeared even more ethereal and alluring in your new form.
When asked earlier, you said that you couldn't come to hell while being an angel, so you had to get a disguise and stay low to avoid attracting unnecessary attention.
Staying low while looking like that? Right.
"This is not the first time anyway."
He was confused about that but didn't inquire further after you changed the subject.
Tossing some popcorn in his mouth, he frowned at all his minions who snuggled up to you. He was jealous. And it didn't help that stupid Frank was in the way, making him unable to get closer.
"By the way." You suddenly spoke. "I have a favor to ask of you..."
"Y-yes!?"
He's willing to do anything for you.
Fidgeting with the ring on your finger and looking at him bashfully, you spoke with hesitation. "If it's not too much trouble...can we arrange more playdates for them? I don't want Scramble to feel lonely when I'm not home, I'll provide you with protection during future exterminations from now on if you'd like!"
That would greatly affect your kill count yes, but you have Scramble to think of now.
He stared at you in shock. “Yes, of course! That would be perfect!” Sir Pentious said almost too quickly, but he quickly cleared his throat, trying to hide his excitement. " I mean... I guess it wouldn't hurt..."
"That's good,” you said with a sigh of relief. "And thank you; I promise with my life that no harm will come to you while I'm here." You added, your gaze fixed on the serpent. Your cheeks were slightly flushed, and a soft smile playing on your lips.
....
The man's was stunned at the adorable sight, unable to take his eyes off of you. His heart began to race as he began to slowly lean forward. He had fantasized about this moment for so long. 2 days
When your lips were inches apart, you leaned back suddenly and looked at him with a confused look. "What are you doing?"
The man paused, realizing what he had almost done.
....
"I-uhh I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!" He screamed. He then promptly bolted out of the room before you could say anything else.
"Ok...?"
꒰꒰・──・──・──・・ 𓎥 ・・──・── ・──・ ꒱꒱
Standing in the hall, the man was cursing under his breath as he repeatedly slammed his head against the wall. "Stupid, stupid, stupid-!"
What if you change your mind after what he tried to do!??
"Oh hi boss man! What are you doing?"
What now..? The serpent stopped what he was doing and looked down, seeing your 'son' holding a glass of water.
A light bulb went off in his mind.
THAT'S IT!!
Sir Pentious grabs the egg and pulls him close, whispering. "Listen closely, you go tell your mother that you want to come again tomorrow, understood?!"
The egg was a little puzzled by the sudden request, but smiled and nodded anyway. "Yes boss!"
More playtime!
With a satisfied grin, the serpent poked his head out of the doorway and watched as the egg ran over to you, jumping up and down with excitement. "Mom mom! Boss man told me to tell you that I want to come again tomorrow!"
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
You raised a brow and remained quiet for a moment before glancing at where Sir Pentious was hiding with a playful smirk. "Is that so?" You asked, chuckling when the man laughed nervously and waved awkwardly.
"...I'll see what I can do."
"Yay!"
IT WORKED!! YES-!!
"Also, I was wondering..."
Hm?
"Do you actually have two...?" You trailed off, doing a blow-job motion with your hand and mouth when the others were focused on the TV. You couldn't say dick in front of the little guys.
The man was so overcome with embarrassment at the question that you could literally see steam rising from his ears before he suddenly slumped over and fainted.
Ah oh, maybe you shouldn't have been so forward.