Chapter Text
The road to the Ubuyashiki mansion is short, and neither Sanemi nor Giyuu feel the need to speak. They enjoy the silence as they walk through the autumn trees, side by side.
There's something about the silence of being close to the other one that both water and wind find enjoyable. There's no need to speak, no need to do anything. Giyuu is certainly more used to the feeling, he finds comfort in the silence. That's just the way he is now.
Sanemi, on the other hand, is less accustomed to such calm. He’s used to chaos and noise, yet this peacefulness is unexpectedly soothing. It’s Giyuu’s presence that brings this serenity. From that drunken night they shared to now, the disdain Sanemi once felt has transformed into something else—something he can’t quite name. Giyuu’s mere presence makes him feel at ease.
Sanemi’s life has always been a whirlwind, filled with noise and confusion. But whenever he’s near Giyuu, he experiences a rare sense of calm. It’s a feeling he didn’t realize he needed until he felt its absence in Giyuu’s absence.
The man is still always stone-faced, unexpressive, and calm. But Sanemi is learning to read him like an open book. Every small shift in his expression, every detail, every movement of his eyes. He finds a meaning to all those small things that rule Tomioka Giyuu in his day to day. Sanemi knows when something bothers him, when he likes something, when he's embarrassed, when he feels happy.
It makes him feel stupid.
It makes him feel stupid because all the signs have been there forever, but he misunderstood one and all of them. He thought it was all a facade, but he is as simple as he can be. Giyuu is a simple man, yet so complicated.
Sanemi always thought he was being egocentric, but no. The amount of emotion back then in the village says the opposite. And damn, Sanemi knows the exact feeling because he has been there before. He was there for a long time, lost in his own conscience and guilt. But then someone showed him how to keep going, at least how to be able to go on living and save people whenever he can.
He always considered himself as someone who deserved a horrible life. But no, he never imagined that one of his coworkers could feel the same. Yeah, he knew they were all there for a reason, but in Sanemi's point of view, none of them could have done such a horrible thing to carry that heavy burden of pain and self-hatred.
Especially, not Tomioka Giyuu. He's strong, he's damn strong. He has trained like a beast, Sanemi knows. He must've trained like his life depended on that. It didn't make any sense, he shouldn't feel like that.
The more he realizes this, the more he feels sympathy for him and gets hit by the memories of past years with Sanemi treating him like a piece of shit just because he wouldn't talk to him, because he would ignore his insults and attempts to make him show any emotion, only for the man to give him a blank expression and some kind of response he wouldn't repeat when he was asked to.
It makes Sanemi sick.
He actually enjoys his company, his presence, his closeness, and he wants Giyuu, but he was too busy being a blind asshole to notice they could've gotten along better in the past, they could've been friends. Lovers. Whatever.
Giyuu's reaction to anything would've been the same as now since Sanemi is very sure the man is the same one as years ago.
What was Sanemi thinking when he insulted him so much? when he treated him so badly? He was probably just trying to be friends, and the only thing Sanemi did was curse at him and his dead.
Sanemi owns Giyuu an apology.
.
.
.
Once they finally get there, they're welcomed by one of the Ubuyahsiki kids, it's hard to tell which one since they all look the same.
"Father will meet you in a few moments, thank you for understanding, Sanemi, Giyuu." They say in unison, doing a bow before they turn and walk away.
For some reason, both Hashiras feel nervous about meeting the master. Giyuu is the most affected, though. He walks around, trying to hold back his instincts to go to Sanemi.
And so does Sanemi. He thinks about how he should apologize to the black-haired man. He wants to find the best way to do it, but damn, he still has his pride.
As time passes, the first ten, then thirty minutes go by, and the master still hasn't come out. Giyuu decides to sit and rest his back against a tree trunk. He wraps his arms around his legs to hold them close to his chest and lets out a small sigh. He then looks at Sanemi, who has his back turned to Giyuu. Giyuu tilts his head and rests his cheek on his knee, continuing to stare at the white-haired man.
His eyes wander all over Sanemi's figure. From his hair to his body, to his hands, his scars, his half-haori. Giyuu likes Sanemi, he's always had. No matter how bad the white-haired's temper was, Giyuu always felt captivated by him.
Sanemi seems to notice Giyuu's gaze, so he turns at him and furrows his eyebrows. A slight pink tone on his cheeks. Giyuu's lip curl a little bit up in a shy smile. The white-haired man huffs and starts walking towards the black-haired man. His presence is no longer intimidating to Giyuu, it feels familiar. Sanemi plops down next to Giyuu, pushing him a little with his weight. Giyuu looks closely at him, still hugging himself.
"What?" Sanemi's gaze meets his.
"Nothing. I'm just staring respectfully." Giyuu says with a sarcastic tone. Sanemi recognizes his own phrase, a smirk on his face as he pushes Giyuu with his shoulder.
"Ah. You feeling bold now?" Sanemi raises an eyebrow.
"Maybe." Giyuu feels a smile on his face, pressing his cheek harder against his knee. "I wonder what's taking so long."
"Ugh. Who knows."
Sanemi's weight feels comfortable against Giyuu's side, and he can't help but lean back to him. Sanemi sighs, closing his eyes as his head falls back, Giyuu's hair poking his face.
"Giyuu, we need to talk." He says as he opens his eyes again.
Giyuu hums. "About what?"
"About us I guess."
"Huh?" Giyuu turns his face to Sanemi. "Why?"
Sanemi shrugs then. "I don't know. I just feel like we need to. And I want to tell you something."
"I think we had to talk before anything happened, don't you think?" Giyuu says, his eyebrows raising with a joking tone.
Sanemi chuckles. "That's true. But I still need to tell you something." He turns his face to Giyuu, trying to catch even the smallest reaction.
Giyuu stays silent for a moment. "...You're gonna tell me we should pretend this never happened, right?" He says, his eyes empty as he looks away.
"What?! No!" His response comes out as fast as it could be. "Why do you- do you want to forget it?"
"Of course not." And there's a small, unnoticeable frown with a pouty lip of disapproval on his face that Sanemi would miss if he wasn't so close to him.
"Neither do I!" One of Sanemi's hands reaches out to catch Giyuu's in his. "...I want to talk about-"
"Hello, my children. I see you two are more than comfortable with each other."
Sanemi and Giyuu pull away in a split second before standing in front of their master, bowing in respect.
The meeting proceeds smoothly as they provide Ubuyashiki with extensive details about the demon and the victims from the village. Despite the gravity of the information, the master listens with a somber expression. His eyes reflect the weight of the lives lost, yet he expresses his deep gratitude to both Hashiras for their unwavering effort and dedication.
Of course, they skip the part of them becoming such good company for each other, but the master is surprisingly very aware of this, and says he's happy for them finally getting along.
No one corrects him.
"If that's all, then you can go, my children."
"Thank you, master." Sanemi and Giyuu say in unison, their heads down in a sign of respect.
"...Giyuu, I heard you wanted to talk with me?" Giyuu raises his head, looking at his master.
"...Yes, if that's not a bother?" He asks, not willing to take too much time of him.
"Of course it's not, my child."
"Thank you, master."
Sanemi tilts his head towards Giyuu, a whisper coming out of his mouth. "I'll be going then." Giyuu nods, taking a look at him before focusing on his master again. Sanemi stands up, walking out of there, towards the road, Giyuu assumes.
Once he's gone, Ubuyashiki speaks.
"What did you want to talk about, my dear child?" He asks, with his usual soft smile and reassuring look. He reminds Giyuu of Urokodaki and his soft voice.
"...I want to ask you something, master."
Ubuyashiki tilts his head, his smile never leaves his face. "What is it?"
"...Sanemi knew I grew up in the village we were sent to. Why?" He feels bad about questioning his master, he shouldn't be doing this. But it's been burning since the first day.
"...Haha." A small giggle comes out of his master. "I knew you would ask me that, child. No worries." He says, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I had a feeling that you would decline if I told you the details, based on your feelings about your range. I saw this as an opportunity for you two, Giyuu. I have always thought you can get along since you are so similar."
Giyuu lowers his head, Ubuyashiki is telling the truth. If he had told Giyuu about the mission he probably would have declined as long as he could avoid any Hashira mission using the same excuse as always. "...You're right, master. I apologize." He says, lowering his head until it almost touches the ground.
"Giyuu, why are you always apologizing? Raise your head, my kid." The master says, trying to stop Giyuu.
"I'm sorry for being so immature. I'm sorry." His eyes remain shut, not feeling bold enough to look at his master in the eye.
Ubuyashiki's smile softens into a gentle expression as he lets out a sigh. He moves closer to Giyuu, his hand reaching out with a comforting grace, guiding Giyuu to lift his head with his hand. "Giyuu, open your eyes, please."
Giyuu's eyelids tremble before he opens his eyes with a big doubt. The shame in his gaze is obvious to his master, who keeps smiling at him. "There you are."
"Sorry."
"No need, my kid." He sits again, his knees almost touching Giyuu's. "You know, I've seen a lot of our kids feel the same way you do, Giyuu."
"...Really?" His face is still ashamed, but a slight curiosity growing.
"Yes. That's why you shouldn't apologize for your pain."
"But master, I-"
"I want you to know, that you're allowed to carry your guilt, Giyuu. Losing someone you love is hard. I get that you feel alone, and abandoned, you feel like you have no one left. But some people love and care about you." Giyuu's eyes open in surprise, he wonders if his master can read him that well. But he shakes his head, looking at his lap where his hands rest.
"...I'm not sure about that, master. The hashira don't like me, and they have plenty of reasons to dislike me because I'm so immature. I'm a horrible person. I have not been valuable to you and the Demon Slayers Corp."
"Who says that, Giyuu? I thought I could tell how much effort you put into your job, don't you think so?" He says, the smile never leaving his face.
"I care about you, and so does Tanjiro, Nezuko, Shinobu, Kyojuro, and I can keep naming them."
Giyuu flinches in embarrassment, bowing at Ubuyashiki. The mention of Tanjiro makes him feel more embarrassed. The boy loves everyone. "I'm sorry, you're right." But the master giggles.
"No need. Don't worry. What I'm trying to say is... you are valuable, Giyuu. You're one of the best demon slayers I've seen, and I'm deeply sorry for your loss."
"...Please don't, It's my fault."
Ubushiki's smile fades away. "How could it be, my child? You fought all you could, It's not your fault, kid."
"If I was stronger..." He starts talking, but the master interrupts him.
"You were a child, you are a child, Giyuu."
"...Not anymore."
"To me, you are a child, Giyuu." He looks at Giyuu and places a hand on his head.
"Being alive is not a curse, nor a burden, It's a gift. And if your loved ones gave it to you, they loved you very much. So, why be ashamed of being loved, my kid?"
Giyuu looks at him with wide eyes. "...I-..." And Ubuyashiki smiles again. Giyuu feels his breath hitch, and a lot of emotions slowly grow.
"Thanks for being so strong, Giyuu."
When Giyuu comes out, Sanemi is standing outside. It takes the black-haired by surprise but he walks toward him anyway.
"Hi." He says as he approaches. "What are you doing?"
Sanemi looks at him, his back resting against the wall and his arms crossed. "Oh, I'm just sunbathing for vitamin E."
"But you're standing under the shade of the roof." He says.
Sanemi looks up and fakes a swear. "Shit, I didn't notice." He says, uncrossing his arms and turning his body to face Giyuu. "Of course I was waiting for you, you fucker." Even if his tone sounds harsh, his face is not, and the way he gets close to Giyuu certainly isn't.
"Oh. I see. Sorry it took me so long."
"Doesn't matter," Sanemi says, cupping one of Giyuu's cheeks with his hand, who leans in the touch. "Let's go to my Estate? I told you we need to talk." Giyuu nods.
"Fine, let's go."
Some footsteps are heard and Sanemi pulls away faster than a lighting and stands alarmed. Giyuu does the same.
Once they're sure it was nothing, a sigh of relief comes out from both of them.
"Do you think the master knows about what happened?" Giyuu is the one asking, his eyes fixed on Sanemi as they approach the Wind Estate.
Sanemi's eyebrows furrow. "How could he?" and Giyuu just shrugs.
"I don't know. He knows everything."
"Huh. I guess. But I believe we were the only ones in that room, weren't we?" He raises an eyebrow as he looks at Giyuu, a smirk on his face.
"I guess." He says, glaring at Sanemi.
"Pff."
.
.
.
It feels nice to walk beside Giyuu, Sanemi notices. It's calm, almost nostalgic. It's a feeling he never experienced before. The man who walks by his side seems to have a lot on his mind, his expression looks more troubled than usual.
"...Are you okay?" Giyuu flinches when he's out of zooming out.
"Uh, yes. Sorry."
"You sure?"
"Uh-huh."
Sanemi doesn't push, he remains silent as they finally arrive at his Estate. It's not too big, almost the same as Giyuu's, but has more life in it. There are also some dogs around, and Giyuu instinctively walks back. Sanemi giggles mockingly, pulling Giyuu inside by his wrist.
"They won't bite you. I used to give them food and now they never leave." Giyuu looks back at them, a little bit surprised. Sanemi doesn't have the face of an animal lover.
"I trust your word, but I don't trust dogs." He walks, following Sanemi inside. The Wind Estate is cozy, and it has Sanemi's essence.
"Ha. I don't know if you should trust me." He says, guiding them to a small room. "Do you want something to drink?"
Giyuu shakes his head. "No, I'm fine. Thank you."
"Alright then. I'll go to the restroom, be right back." Sanemi says, walking over the hallway before turning to another room.
Giyuu looks around, then decides to sit on his knees on the floor as he waits patiently for the white-haired man. He starts thinking, his mind travels to every moment in the past few days, on how they both became like this. Giyuu never thought he would visit Sanemi's Estate. He wonders what Sanemi wants to talk about.
A few minutes later, Sanemi crosses the door, looking directly at Giyuu. He walks towards him and glares at him from upside down. Giyuu's gaze meets his. "What?"
Sanemi shakes his head. "Nothing." He says, sitting by Giyuu's side. Contrary to the black-haired, who sits in such an elegant and calm way, Sanemi sits carelessly.
"What do you want to talk about?" Giyuu asks, looking at the scarred man, who looks back at him before looking away and sighing.
"I..." He pauses for a moment. "I always thought you were an egocentric person who didn't think he should even talk to us, who didn't think he had a duty to work for. You seemed so...so indifferent. And I screwed up. I acted like an asshole. I am an asshole. I should've tried to understand you."
Giyuu tilts his head, furrowing his eyebrows. "...Why are you telling me this?"
Sanemi holds the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes closed.
"What I'm trying to say is...I'm sorry, okay?"
"What are you apologizing for?" Giyuu tries to meet his gaze, and he succeeds, because Sanemi looks at him.
"I treated you like shit. I thought you were a piece of shit. I was an asshole to you. I hurt you."
Giyuu rushes to answer. "You didn't-" But Sanemi cuts him off.
"Yes, I did. I know I did. Words hurt, and I wanted to hurt you at the moment. I wanted to get you down from that cloud you were standing on, only to realize you were underground."
"...I don't really care. Yes, it made me sad sometimes, but I'm used to people not liking me." Giyuu looks away.
"That doesn't make it any better." Sanemi looks down at his hands, reaching out to stroke Giyuu's hand. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."
Giyuu's gaze moves to their hands in unison, a small sigh comes out of him. "I never thought I could hear you say those words."
Sanemi rolls his eyes. "I'm a bastard, I know. But I'm human you know?"
That gets a small laugh from Giyuu. "I know. I... accept your apology." He squeezes Sanemi's hand, who looks at him with his gaze filled with intensity. His breath hitches, so he gulps without taking his look away.
"Just like that?" And Giyuu nods.
"Yes. You were an asshole," Sanemi scratches the back of his neck with his free hand when Giyuu says it like that. "But so was I. I never gave you any reason to think the opposite, so I kinda brought it on myself."
"...Maybe, but I'm the one apologizing, so let me do it right." He squeezes Giyuu's hand back, who smiles at him.
"I forgive you."
"Why?"
"Because I like you." Sanemi's heart pounds aggressively in his chest.
His lips curl in a smile before he slicks his hair back. "Thank god, because I'm not sure if I could hold back the urge to kiss you if you didn't."
And then he pulls Giyuu by his neck, meeting his lips with Giyuu's in a desperate Kiss. It takes Giyuu by surprise, but he joins the desperation and kisses him back, wrapping an arm around Sanemi's shoulders to keep him close, and Sanemi has to gain balance again, placing one hand on the ground to hold them both as they keep kissing. He runs his free hand through Giyuu's hair, who strokes his face with his hands, caressing his cheekbones with his thumbs as his lips dance with Sanemi's.
Once they pull apart, Sanemi presses their foreheads together as they catch their breath. Blue meets violet and Giyuu leaves a kiss on Sanemi's lips.
"You're gonna be the death of me," Sanemi says, not moving away. "What are we gonna do?"
"I don't know, but I don't want to separate from you."
"Neither do I." And it's Sanemi's turn to leave a light kiss on the other's lips. "I want to stay like this for the rest of my life." His nose caressing Giyuu's cheek.
"So do I." Giyuu closes his eyes, wrapping his both arms around Sanemi's back, falling back on his back, and pulling Sanemi down with him. The white-haired buries his face in the crook of Giyuu's neck, inhaling his scent.
"I never felt like this about someone. You're becoming my first on everything, you fucker." He bites the pale skin.
"Really? Even-?" He strokes Sanemi's hair.
"Uh-huh." He bites again, only to pull away to brush Giyuu's bangs back and kiss his forehead. "Why don't we do it again?"
Giyuu raises an eyebrow, smiling. "We already did it three times."
Sanemi stays still. "Okay, you don't want me."
"I was joking." Giyuu cupps Sanemi's face in his hands. And Sanemi kisses the tip of his nose.
"I know, but," he kisses his cheeks. "I want to kiss you all I can before doing that, you're delicious to kiss. It's like I have a cinnamon roll I want to taste. A Cinnamon Boy. My Cinnamon Boy."
Giyuu rolls his eyes.
"Shut up and kiss me already."